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Rating
Mature
Chapters
32
Words
80,262
Characters
Harry, Ron, Hermione, Blaise (M), Dean, Draco, Seamus
Primary Relationship
Draco/Hermione
Secondary Relationship(s)
Other Pairing
Genre(s)
Drama, Romance, Angst
Era
Hogwarts
Advisory
Strong violence, Scenes of a sexual nature, Substance abuse, Sensitive topic/issue/theme, Spoilers
Story Reviews
1,399
Status
Completed
First Published
2007-08-15 4:58am
Last Chapter
2020-04-29 12:00am
Last Updated
2020-04-29 4:20pm

Track This Story: Feed

Ch. # Chapter Title Word Count Reviews
1 Prologue

 TRIGGER WARNING: This story centers around someone struggling with an eating disorder. Please don't read it if you think this might harm your recovery.

 

It started in her fourth year.
Not yet at the full scale it would eventually blow out to be, but when she looked back she realised that this was when the seeds had started to be sowed within her mind.

 

*This chapter has been edited.

1,489 45
2 When Disorder Begins

It was like going down one of those slides at Muggle fast food outlets, just much less fun and much less food....

1,552 52
3 The Blue Room

‘We've got a prefects meeting in 10 minutes are you sure your not hungry?’

1,661 40
4 Bets and Letters

‘Is it just me or has Granger gotten rather skinny lately?’

1,440 46
5 Dreaming

The land of dreams.

1,497 82
6 A Taste Of Vanilla

Vanilla is the plainest flavour but agreeable with most....

'And what the hell are the Slytherins on?' 

1,910 33
7 Black Out

What’s worse? Starving? Or eating?

2,624 46
8 The Nargle or Snorkak?

Maple syrup and roses. Interesting, Granger.



This chapter contains slash (same sex pairing) if you can't deal don't read or skip this chapter.

2,580 36
9 Fighting Easter

'I hate eggs!'

1,423 40
10 Suspicion

‘We Slytherins have our own form of loyalty. I just wanted to let you know that she’s been taken care of.’

2,043 39
11 When You Sleep

'...The wand chooses the wizard…Why would it bother to change the wizard it chose?’

1,911 43
12 Diagnosed Insanity

It’s an addiction; it’s a disorder, an obsession, a neurosis…

1,767 52
13 Feelings...

There is no way I'm telling him about my eating problems. But I do need a friend.

2,085 54
14 Wand-Pox

Ginny reached out and ran her fingers through it. She found herself holding a clump of frizzy brown hair.

1,185 32
15 Eat Yourself

She felt like she was going to throw up, her limbs felt weak and she kept getting flushes of heat.

1,498 91
16 Cologne Cerrone Houdini

Oh, Merlin, I think that’s the most bizarre thing that’s ever happened to me…

1,591 47
17 Never Be Lonely


People in love get fast and foolish.

1,516 65
18 Tiptoe

It's not funny. It never was.

1,743 11
19 Oh Well...

Oh Well...

2,774 19
20 Rainbow

'This will get us nowhere Granger. Forty more minutes of this and we'll both be dead.'

2,861 74
21 Sewn

Hermione had no idea how to react to this unsure almost confused Malfoy.

2,362 57
22 Not About Love


It happened again and I did nothing to stop it.

2,773 52
23 Criminal

Your mum's house!

2,459 43
24 First Taste

And then she saw the girl.

2,331 29
25 Slow Like Honey

Ever since Hermione could remember, she’d always had iffy feelings regarding food in movies.

1,920 31
26 Sick In The Head

'Midnight library excursions?'

2,548 29
27 On The Bound

I’m ashamed… I’m ashamed that I’ve done such a horrible thing to my body. That I’ve hurt myself and my friends by doing something that hasn’t achieved anything but misery

2,536 31
28 Helpless

She shook her head in disbelief; she was in this situation YET AGAIN!

She sighed. ‘We know how this situation ends, Malfoy.’ She shoved him away. ‘Give me Crookshanks and lets quite while we’re ahead.’

2,130 21
29 Sullen Girl

And there's too
Much going on
But it's calm under
The waves
In the blue of my oblivion
 
 
 

2,904 15
30 Paper Bag

 Hunger hurts, and I want him so bad, oh it kills
'Cause I know I'm a mess he don't wanna clean up
I got to fold 'cause these hands are too shaky to hold
Hunger hurts, but starving works, when it costs too much to love

 
 

2,519 55
31 The Child Is Gone

The world hangs in a cloud. Thoughts swirl and tangle like leaves blowing in the wind. I open my eyes to white. Nothing but white. It hurts my eyes so I close them again. I slip back into darkness...
 
 

6,625 73
32 Epilogue

Recovery is a hard road, but so worth it in the end.

12,005 16

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