“Hi, Mr. C. Good summer? How’s the hubby?”

“Mind your own business! And for the love of all that is holy, please get inside, before I’m forced to mark you down.”

Oh, and here’s the bell. I am o-ficially tardy. Teehee. I’m such a rebel.

Just a small view into Max's school life...

“Of course. Follow the yellow brick road, and you’ll get where you want to go.”

St. Mungo's is introduced to Max.
...
Poor, poor, hospital.

“Hey mum, do you mind if Remus comes over tonight for dinner?” I look up; James is standing in the doorway, leaning against the frame with a casual sort of elegance. Our eyes meet; I feel a slow blush creep up my cheeks. My heart stutters. Mrs. Potter gives a small intake of breath, looks at me, and then looks at James, a slow smile spreading across her face.

Max is very confused about her feelings for a certain messy-haired Marauder.

“Whatever you say, Prongs. I’m just glad that Max here is a girl. I must say, when Remus told me that I have to ‘go see James and his new love interest Max’ I was quite concerned.”

“What exactly is that supposed to mean?” James and I both ask at the same time, outraged.

James and Max have fun on the floor of the Hogwarts Express.

Nope!” He says happily. I glare at him. “Try again! It starts with the letter ‘k’ and has and ‘i’ in it.”

“Kiln. Kip. Knit. Kindle. King. Kill. Killjoy. Kill. Kill. Kill. Kill.”

“I’m sensing a pattern here,” Sirius says thoughtfully.

Max and Hattie sneak into the Gryffindor common room.

“You wanna fight, Evans?” I ask loudly. She stands; she’s even taller than me. Exactly James’s height, I notice.

“No, I do not want to fight. And if you threaten me like that again, I will dock you points.” She glares at me, and I glare right on back.

“It’s on,” I hiss, “It is soo on. You have no idea who you’re messing with.”

Max and Lily have a little dispute at the breakfast table. Whose side will James take??

“Dick Van Holsen, at your service!” He says, winking.

“I sincerely hope you’re kidding,” I say.

“Nope! So, you’re the famous Max…not too shabby, I must admit.” He walks around me, looking me up and down a couple times. “Of course, I’m more of a brunette type myself, but…”

Max meets Dick.

I should probably go a bit lower. I’m breathing fast in the excitement; my lungs are starting to ache. Fuck. I fly lower and slower, trying to calm my racing heart and rapid breathing. I should land now. I should definitely land.

Max serves a detention she will never forget.

I’ll let you pretend to be asleep, Max. I’ll let you pretend this never happened.

Jimmy's Perspective

...I feel hands grab me from behind, and they aren’t friendly hands either. One covers my mouth; the other reaches down and grabs both my wrists, preventing me from struggling or screaming. The boys are too distracted by the game to notice anything, of course. I try and break away from the grip, but it’s dragging me down, under the bleachers, and then I’m thrown down to the ground, and a figure is looming over me...

Max is a victim, witness, and culprit. Not bad for a day's work!

“I don’t mean to sound offensive, but can you possibly…err…stop doing your yoga, or whatever? It’s rather…awkward.”

Max does the Downward Facing Dog.

I have made this prank into a, shall we say, mini-series of sorts; it will be split into three parts, The Set-Up, The Dish-Out , and The Clean-Up. Enjoy!

“Thas alright, Hattie my luv, I myself have quite the wandering eye…in fact, Max, you look quite sexually alluring today…” Dick waggles his eyebrows at me, and I pull out from under his arm.

Part one of the "Prank Trilogy"--the Set-Up.

“You can’t expect us to let this go, Max. And you know what they say.” He grins suddenly, pulling my mouth to his. Against my lips, he whispers, “Payback’s a bitch.”

The Final Part in the "Prank Trilogy"

“Hello, what’s your name?” I ask it. It blinks.

“My name is Suzie Chakoozie, and I am the King of the butterflies. And you are my Queen,” the butterfly says to me.

Max goes a bit wild with the anesthetics.

“Hey! Hey you with the big head and creepy bark-laugh thing! STOP LAUGHING AT ME!” I throw a pillow at his head. He ducks it easily, and moves towards me, and next thing I know he has me in a huge hug. I’m too surprised to even fight it.

Sirius and Max have a nice little one-on-one.

I crashed, whammed, or slapped into six feet, three inches of pure, unadulterated hotness.

Max runs into Mr. Franklin.

God, I have to stop referring to them in the present tense. They no longer do, say, act, but did, said, acted. Forever doomed to the past-tense. One of the many disadvantages of being dead, I reasoned.

Memories are both painful to forget, and in this case, to remember.

“YOU SLEPT WITH HIM?” he yells, only in whisper format.

“What else would we be doing at his house, in his room, ALL ALONE?” I ask.

“Wizard chess,” Remus suggests.

“Exploding snap,” Sirius adds.

“Leap frog?” Remus asks, definitely laughing now. I glare at them both.

Most awkward love scene EVER. Enjoy :)

“I’ve missed you,” I say softly. “You look…really nice.” I swallow and try not to breath, because he smells freaking amazing, and I am NOT going there again.

“You look beautiful, as always,” he grins slyly at me. “Do you mind if I…kiss you on the cheek?”

Max discovers the truth about her parents' deaths, and the Potters throw a dinner party.

 “I need a pregnancy test potion.”

Max finally knows for sure whether or not she's pregnant, and Jimmy lends her an ear.