"Yo baby, its yo gurl June hitting yo up. Holla at yo gurrl!"
 
 

“Oh, honey.” She shakes her head in pity, “You’re a complete mess.”

“I know!” I wail.

That’s right. I wailed.
 

“Scorpius!” I shout, “It’s all my fault! I told her I loved her and now she’s bleeding to death! Oh Merlin, I’m a MONSTER!”
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

"Ew, that’s a repulsive thought. I would literally rather have a play date with a dementor than snog you, especially with the way you smell right now. Haven’t you ever heard of a shower?"


 

“That was the most beautiful chicken funeral I’ve ever been to.”
 
 
 

I try to raise my eyebrows suggestively, but I don’t think it works.

Whatever, it was worth a shot.

Now if only he’d use his precious looks to get his own girlfriend so he can stop pining after mine.

That would be ideal.