Sasuke was a proud man.

He liked to believe he knew everything.

He prided himself for knowing how to read his wife the most. Even branded with the title "Most beautiful, strongest, and smartest woman of all Fire Nation" She was still completely readable to him.

So when he heard his wide talking to herself in the kitchen when he came home from Ichiraku with Naruto, he was worried.

At first he thought she was with someone, but he never sensed any other chakra signals at all.

He silently made his way to the kitchen and stopped when he saw his wife talking to her stomach.

She hadn't sensed him at all.

She was rubbing her belly and making cooing noises.

He thought for sure she was possessed.

"Sasuke-kun! Welcome home dear! Shower or dinner?" She asked innocently.

"Hn... shower..." He replied unsure.

She smiled brightly showing off her perfectly straight and white teeth.

She stood up and went to go set the bath humming.

Somethings wrong. He thought in all seriousness.

When dinner was finished, curry and tomato soup, they both went to bed. He had forgotten all about the kitchen incident and was ready for some foreplay.

"Mm... Sasuke-kun." She moaned. "No- s-stop."

"Hn, it's ok. We both know you want it."

"Sasuke." He froze. No suffix. She means business, "I can't have sex with you..."

Sakura got off the bed and made her way to the guest bedroom. The sound of a shutter closing was the only thing Sasuke heard as he gaped at the space his wife just occupied.

What the hell?

The next morning, Sakura was there but she had made breakfast. Sasuke glared at the offending tomato onigiri and toast.

"Tch." He grabbed his gear and went to go spar with Naruto

"Dobe... Somethings wrong with Sakura." He said once training was done. The soon to be Hokage stared wide-eyed at his best friend.

"What happened?"

"She rejected sex."

Naruto gasped dramatically, "No!?"

"Aa."

"No!?"

"A-Aa." The ex-avenger looked down.

"Teme. You obviously did something. I don't care what it is but you need to find out and apologize. Get on your hands and knees if you have to. Women are complicated that way. Apologizing makes them feel better. It lets them know that you know, Women are always right."

Sasuke furrowed his eyebrows, "And if she wrong?"

Naruto put his hands on Sasuke's shoulders, "Sasuke. No matter what, Women are always right."

Sasuke nodded before going to the hospital to find Sakura and apologize for something he didn't know he had done wrong.

"I'm looking for Sakura..." He told the nurse at the front desk. He ignored the blushing idiot and tapped his foot in irritation. His hand was starting to kill him. The package he had brought with him.

"Floor 4 in her office." The nurse said. On his way to the elevator, he passed Hinata who was leaving a patients room. She walked his way but stopped when she was in front of him.

"Sasuke-san! How un expected." For some reason he didn't like the smile she was wearing. It was a smile that screamed 'I know something you don't!' smile. He narrowed his eyes slightly before nodding.

"Hn. Where's Sakura? I need to tell her something important."

Hinata's smiled dropped, "O-oh really? And what would that be?"

"If you don't mind, I'd like to tell her personally."

"Um, well that kinda hard... She's in an uh... meeting with Tsunade-sama now."

He glared at the wall behind her that led to the elevator that would take him to Sakura's office.

Sasuke sighed, "Fine. I'll tell her later at home."

Hinata let out a relived sigh and smiled before walking away.

"Oh yes. Hinata?"

She stopped, "Hm?"

"Tell Sakura I came by and give her this lunch." He handed over the food he bought on the way to the hospital."

She smiled at him, "Sure!"

Wait. Relieved? Why would she be relieved?

Whatever it was, he decided to ignore it. He instead walked home and concluded it'd be better to apologize at home. He'd have more time to plan out what he wanted to say that way.

"Ok Sakura, It'd be best if you stopped doing a lot of work. You're around 3 months with 6 to go. I'm surprised you're so small even with twins in there." Tsunade said.

Sakura smiled at her mentor/Hokage/mother figure, "Thanks Tsunade-sama. I'm glad you're so happy. I mean, you're going to be a grandma of twins! I bet now you'll be glad Naruto has a reason to call you baa-chan." Sakura giggled.

"However, too much walking will put you in pre-mature labor. So seeing as how you want to keep up the act with Naruto and Sasuke I'll let you come to work." Sakura smirked, 'But you'll be on office work. Meaning no healing. No matter how small. So from now you're going to be filing all these papers you've expertly ignored."

Sakura grinned uneasily, "Damn."

Tsunade chuckled, "Now go get lunch. You need to eat for three now."

Sakura nodded and was going to get up when Hinata came in, "Hi Sakura-chan! Sasuke was just here and he wants you to have this!"

She brought out the huge bento and Sakura's jaw dropped, "You don't think he knows I'm pregnant right? I mean, why else would he bring me this huge bento?"

"Hm... seemed clueless. And worried. Did something happen?" She inquired. Tsunade had already taken it upon herself to check out the bento.

"Well I did reject sex last night."

Both girls gawked at her, "You didn't?"

"Yeah"

"No wonder. He thinks he did something wrong!" Tsunade explained.

"No way." Sakura dismissed.

"I think Tsunade-sama is right. You never reject sex with Sasuke. Ever." Ino pointed out.

"Well that's 'cause-" Sakura jumped, "When'd you get here?"

"Just now. I'm going to be an aunty!"

Sakura sighed, "Anyway. Trust me. It's not that."

Everyone looked at the kunochi doubtfully. "Sure..."

When Sakura came home that night, Sasuke was found in the living room with his head in his hands.

"Baby? What wrong?" Sakura asked.

Sasuke nearly jumped out of his skin, "Oh! When'd you get home?"

"Just now..." She narrowed her eyes, "What wrong?"

He sighed, "Nothing."

Sakura raised an eyebrow but dropped the subject, "Ok. And thanks for the bento! It would mean the world if you start to bringing large ones like that to work for me some more..."

"Wait, you're not mad at me?" He asked.

"What? No! Are acting weird because I'm rejecting sex?" Sakura asked curiously.

He looked down, "Hn..."

Sakura's eyes softened, "It's not you ok Sasuke-kun. I just think, we need to chill with the sex. We can do more things then make love all the time. Ok?"

Sasuke nodded, "Hn... So you aren't mad?"

Sakura grinned, "No."

And like that, everything was back to normal. Sasuke always brought lunch to Sakura every day after training. But two months later, Tsunade sent him, Naruto, and Neji on a two month mission.

When he came back, he walked into the hospital and went to Sakura's office. When he came in, his jaw dropped at what he saw.

Sakura, his petite, small, tiny little angel, was in word: Huge.

"Oh! Hi Sasuke-kun! Welcome back! I thought you'd be back later so I was going to make you dinner."

"Uh... I think you need to lay off the food for a while... I don't know how to say this but-"

"Sakura-chan! You're so fat!"

Fat!~

Fat!

Fat!

Fat!

Fat!

Hinata and Ino who had been listening gawked at Naruto's unbelievable courage. No one with a brain would ever outright call a kunoichi fat. That was asking for a death wish.

But to call Sakura Haruno of all kunoichi fat. A word kunochi loathed. You were asking for a very slow torturous death even banned from anbu interrogation regulations.

Naruto, I pity your soul. Ino stated in her mind.

Everyone looked at the kunoichi before them. She had a menacing aura around her.

"Excuse me? Did you just call me fat?" Sakura had rested her palm on her iron desk. Instantly, the desk crumbled under her lack of strength.

Naruto paled and Sasuke had already ran into the hallway.

"Uh um... I mean... Those slacks make you loo-" Naruto never finished because the desk had been thrown straight at him. He flew through 5 walls and stopped right at the ICU.

"Sakura-chan" Hinata called warily.

"Forehead?..."

"Oh shit... I think my water broke..." She stated with wide eyes.

Ino had already ran to send Tsunade a messenger bird and Hinata was repeatedly hitting the emergency button.

Sasuke just stared dumbfounded, "Wha...?"

"Sasuke-kun..." Sasuke looked at his wife on the stretcher, "Surprise...? I'm pregnant..."

Before Sasuke could faint, he was being dragged to the ER and was thrown a pair of gloves, a hair net, and scrubs.

Tsunade barged in, "Ok! I want my grandchildren born nice and healthy! Sasuke stop gawking and go hold Sakura's hand!"

"Ok everyone, I can see the head. Meaning this will be a pre-mature birth! Sakura, you're going to have to push for me."

With a roar that would make a lion piss its pants, Sakura screamed her head off and broke Sasuke's four fingers.

"AAAAAAAAAAARRRRGGGHHHH! Damn you Uchiha! I'm never gonna have sex with you aaarrrghin!" She cursed. Sasuke linked back the tears of pain.

"Alright! One more push and this one's done!" Tsunade encouraged.

This one? My hand can't take anymore!

Before Sasuke could stop himself, he went to go see where his child was coming from.

Wrong move.

His eye's widened before he passed out.

"Someone pick up the Uchiha and put him on a bed!"

Soon, a babies cries filled the room. Sakura smiled tiredly at the baby, "One more. I can tell you're a boy. Daisuke will be his name."

Tsunade smiled at her student, only she could tell a sex from a cry.

"Aargh!" Sakura yelled clutching her stomach.

"Ok everyone, one more to go." Shizune yelled.

13 hours and several Uchiha related screams later

"So these are our children?" Sasuke asked.

"Mhm. The boy is Daisuke and the Girl is Kimiko. I'm sorry I kept it from you. I wanted it to be a big surprise for when you came back, but Naruto pissed me off and I had to let my anger out..."

Sasuke kissed her forehead, "I'm not mad. I mean this boy has your eyes and the girl has you hair. I can tell they're going to be perfect children. I think I'm the nervous one..."

Sakura gaped at her husband, "You'll be a great father Sasuke trust me."

They looked at each other and kissed once more before Naruto burst in with tears in his eyes, "I'm an Uncle!"

Sakura and Sasuke glared at him fiercely, "Ehehe sorry.

5 years later

"Okaa-san! Why are you so fwat?" Asked a completely ignorant Daisuke.

Sakura twitched at his question, "Daisuke...!"

Sasuke took his children and ran for mount Hokage. The safest place was always Naruto's head.