Hate

by Magic Writer 207

James doesn't have the amount of self-esteem that everyone thinks he does. In fact he has self- hating thoughts practically everyday. Suicide has gone through his head more than once. Drabble.

James' POV

They don't need me.

I'm useless, stupid, selfish, and hideous, especially in my soul.

My existence is a mistake. I should have never been born. It would make the lives of my family and friends so much easier. They all know I'm some vain little piece of crap.

Talent does not run through my veins at all. Kendall should have left me in Minnesota and taken Logan and Carlos.

Everyone knows I'm just a coward trying to put on the mask of a man. But it's not working, nothing is. Pain is all I have left. I cry myself to sleep for nights on end. My tears lull me into nightmare filled sleep.

I should just end it, once and for all.

Why can't I just be better? Why can't I stop hating myself? Why can't I stop thinking about killing myself?

But, I should, take the easy way out as usual. I'm still just a coward

AN: I wrote this while watching the presidential debate so it might not be as emotional as I wanted it to be. And happy 10/11/12 day! Something like this won't happen till next year and the 3000 years. :)