Empty Cold
(A Fullmetal Alchemist Oneshot) by Selena Anuri
For so long the world has been cold. A place I can only see through a veil. It teams with life but I can't feel it. I don't feel the sun on my face or the discomfort of the light in my eyes. Light doesn't warm me or burn me. I can't even tell if the light reaches this body. I can't feel brothers hand on my shoulder or the warmth of that hand pulsing with life. I can't feel the wind or the rain. They do not bother me, only the plinking sounds as the drops hit my armor and the hissing whistle of the air between these metal plates. They are always cold. When others touch them they flinch, I see it. They pull away from the icy feeling that my body has. I cannot even feel that. I do not feel that cold, just as I can not feel the warmth of blood in my veins or a heart beating steadily in my chest. I cannot feel air rushing in and out of my lungs. I feel nothing but the cold. The world is a lonely place without those things. Sometimes, in the night while brother sleeps, I start to wonder if I have left the world behind and simply remain watching as a ghost. What will brother say in the morning, I wonder, when he wakes up to find my soul gone? And then I think about how free his life would be. He would not have to continue this search bound to the military like a dog on a chain. Would he be better off that way? I don't know. But in those nights I start to think I can feel again. I try to remember the touch of mothers hand on my hair and the grass between my toes. Somewhere along the way I forgot those things. They didn't seem so important for so long. Now they are everything. I curse myself for not appreciating those feelings more when I had them. They were so cheap back then. Warmth was taken for granted every day, the taste of food, smells of home. Now I would give anything to feel the sun, and the wind. I would fight a thousand armies to feel my brother's embrace and blood in my breathing body.
[A/N: I wrote this quickly and I didn't get anyone to look over it for me so there may be a few grammatical errors please excuse them and tell me about them so I can fix them. ^^ thank you –sel]