Title: Untitled
Word/Page Count: 1,398/4
Warnings: Some distinctly colorful language
A/N: Hehe. My first real attempt at humor- I think it went well. Very fun to write, that's for sure. I mean, how can you not love a character that's named after a vegetable? All comments appreciated! And yes, I did use a bunch of boy's names for the candidates part, simply because I am too lazy to come up with 13(?) Japanese boy's names.
"No." That was my answer, cold and unchanging. Because being in the same room as Niou Masaharu was simply not an option, nor would it ever be. It simply wasn't part of the plan.
But of course, since when do things ever go according to plan?
---
I hate my name. It's cursed, it really is. Because, of all things, I had to be named after a vegetable.
That's right. A vegetable. And an aunt, but more on that later. Because my name just happens to be Kite Misa. (And no, dammit, I'm not from Okinawa! Why does everybody ask me that?) Misa, as in miso, as in the vegetable miso that you use in miso soup. My mom swears I'm named after "dear auntie Misa." I give her pity.
But anyways, curses tend to take odd forms. To fill out the required extracurricular whatevers, I decided to join The Committee. THE Committee. A.k.a. The Committee that organizes every fundraiser and festival that this school has ever known. And it counts for five credits, so HA.
"Hey, Miso Soup," Niou Masaharu grins, sliding into the seat next to me.
Class 3-A. This was going to be a long, long year.
---
"So we combine the two things that our school is good at- having cute guys and having good planning skills- and combine them," Aiko says cheerfully. "And that'll be the first fundraiser of the year. Everyone good?"
"Aiko-san!! Have you lost your mind? Do you not realize that most or all of the remotely cute guys here are complete and utter assholes, especially the sports guys, especially Niou Masaharu, though I am not saying he is hot but rather making a point?"
…Was what I wanted to say.
"Sure Aiko-san, that's a great idea," I say instead, weakly agreeing and praying to God that Aiko would suddenly trip over a rock and split her head open while walking home.
---
"Hey, Miso Soup."
"Shut up, Niou."
"Make me."
"Niou, that makes you sound like you're five."
He slinks on top of my desk. I instinctively slide on to the desk behind me. Although my bubble is small, I don't take lightly to it being invaded, and Niou had invaded it, quickly and swiftly.
"So, who are you appointing for the fundraiser?"
"What are you talking about?"
He leans in and grabs my chin. "Me, right? You're going to appoint me."
I kick him in the stomach.
---
No.
No no no no no.
"Marui-san!"
"Yeah?"
"Do you think Niou is hot?"
"Well, I'm not gay. If you need that kind of opinion, I suggest you ask Yagyu-"
"No, not THAT!"
I sigh. His best friend was of no use.
---
"Okay, so these are the candidates for the all day dates. First year: Harima Kenji, Aoyama Masaya, Shirogane Ryou, Minami Kei.
"Second year: Kirihara Akaya-"
"You sure he won't gouge out somebody's eyes?"
"No, we gave him a box of crayons. Kirihara Akaya, Sohma Kyo, Hanajima Megumi, Hoto Akira, Saneda Satiro.
"Third years: Lim Xi-Yan, Marui Bunta, Sohma Haru, Aruganato Jison, and Niou Masaharu."
"NOOOOOOO!!!!!!"
…Was what I wanted to say.
Instead, I smile, picked up my papers, and pray that Aiko would die.
Just die.
---
Whoever said selling people was illegal never came to Rikkaidai.
"Starting the bidding for the all-day dates! All bids start at 100 yen!" Come on, 100 yen for a whole day? But of course, it always always builds to at least 2000 yen before the day is over.
I sit there, chin in my hand, desperately trying to block out the sound of a girl behind me who apparently wanted to build a reverse harem around her. Suddenly, they called out, "Third year bidding starting! First up, Marui Bunta!"
I shudder. Aiko certainly could be loud when she wanted to be.
Marui went and was handed off to a girl with reddish hair that looked like a Nancy Drew misprint. Next up was Niou. I smirked. Whoever got him was certainly in for one hell of a day.
"Bidding starts, 100 yen! 200 yen, do I hear 200 yen? 300? 400? 400 going once, going- 500! 600? 700 yen? 800? 900? 1000 yen? 1100 yen? 1200? 1300? 1400? 1500?"
My mental train pauses. Whoever paid 1500 yen to spend a day with Niou Masaharu was possibly mentally ill.
"1600 yen, do I hear 1600? 1700? 1800? 1900? 2000? 2100? 2200? 2300? 2400? 2500? 2600 yen? 2700? 2800? 2900?"
I yawn, thankful that I don't have a paddle.
"2900 going once, going twice, SOLD TO KITE MISA!"
I gape. Turning around I see a flabbergasted first year.
So, for you not to smart folks, this is what happened-
I yawn. My arm goes up.
First year desperately wants harem. Arm goes up plus paddle.
Arms overlap.
Aiko sees this as, "Misa wants a date!" And suddenly I have an all-day date with Niou Masaharu.
Hell no.
---
"So, where do you want to go?"
"Anywhere without you."
"Oh, come on. That's not very festive."
"Well, I'm not in the most festive mood." He scowls. I scowl. We all scowl. It's not like I actually ASKED to spend the day. For all I cared, he could have joined in with Ms. Harem and spent the whole day with her. There was one thing for sure, though- I was not Ms. Harem. I was the only third year in the school who hasn't already gotten her first kiss and sure as hell didn't want it.
I coughed.
"Are you trying to be sarcastic?"
"No, I have a cold."
"Oh."
Silence.
And more silence.
And just a little bit more, to even everything all out.
I sigh, grab the keys to the storage closet, and grab sports… stuff. All of it. "Here, you might as well make yourself useful."
"What is all this shit?"
"I'm on delivery duty today. I'll go to the basketball club, you go to football." I smirked, knowing quite well that the football club was the only one practicing outside today.
He slinks an arm through my bent one and smiles. "How about I help you with the basketball club?"
I kick him in the shins.
---
"What else is there?"
"That's it. American football club has all the extra weights, basketball club the restraints, football the shoe weights, tennis club…whatever they needed."
"Wrist weights."
"Whatever."
Pause.
"So… What do you want to do now?"
"Why the fuck should I care what we do now? I didn't exactly ask to go on this date."
He grabs the keys from my hand.
"…Hell?"
"How about I give you something?"
He quickly opens the storage closet and shoves me in.
"What the hell are you doing?" I yell a little too loudly. He shudders, covers his ears, but doesn't miss a beat and steps into the closet and locks the door behind him.
The thing you have to understand is that even though the storage closet is a little bigger than most closets, but it's still relatively small.
"…How about I give you that first kiss?"
"No." I panicked- what else was I supposed to do? The closet was small, and the walls seemed to close around me. My outer self stayed calm, but my outer self is very small.
"Why not?"
"Niou, I have to get out of here."
"Wha-"
"NOW." I put a hand on my chest, trying to even out my breathing.
Suddenly, a little light goes on in his eyes. I prepare for the worst, but unexpectedly, he mutters, "okay," and opens the door. I breath it in- fresh air never tasted so good before. He walks off as I'm left to absorb.
And then I realize that Niou Masaharu just did something nice for me.
"Wait, what?" I say out loud. I look at the storage closet, take out the key still hanging jaggedly out of the door, and run as far away from it as I can.
---
"Oi, Miso Soup."
I turn around, not expecting the voice. "Yeah?"
"Sorry. I… I didn't know you were claustrophobic."
I scowl. "Serves you right," I mutter, and start to walk off. Then my own light goes off.
"Oh, and Niou?"
"Yeah?"
"Please just call me Kite like everyone else."
He smirks. "Alright, Kite."
And then I realize that I've probably gotten my self into bigger trouble than before.