CHAPTER 1
What's wrong? Maybe the part that I may be pregnant, Sav left me with that, Sav's got that Farrah bitch, but I still love him. I have nobody now. Besides maybe a baby... Me and Holly J are kinda close, but still... I don't like Chantaye much, and I have nobody now. And I'm not even sure I can trust myself anymore.
Well, if I do have a baby, I'll name her Alyssa Emily. I love that name. I also love Sav, I don't wanna have this baby on my own. I miss Sav. I love him. But I'm doing fine without him. I'm fiiiiiiiii- no, I'm not. My stonmach's killing me. I'm full of wanting to know if I'm pregnant...
I took a test.
Oh my effing god, I'm pregnant!
Okay, Alyssa 's all I know what I'm gonna do so far. What am I gonna tell Sav? My parents? Oh my god...
I need to tell somebody, I can't do this on my own. I think I need to say something before I go crazy. Chantaye? No thank you? Sav? I still love him. That would be awkward. Maybe I should tell Holly J...
I walked to her house. "Hello, Mrs. Sinclair. Can I go talk to Holly J?"
"She's in her roo- Anya, are you feeling okay?"
"Yes, I'm fine. Thank you."
I went to go talk to her.
HJ: Hey, Anya.
Me: I just wanted to tell you I'm sorry about that Cookie Monster thing.
HJ: That was like two years ago. We made up, remember?
Me: Yes, I just wanted you to know I never wanna fight with you, ever and that I'm sorry and I need you in my life.
HJ: Anya, what's the matter?
Me: I'm pregnant...
HJ: Anya, tell me you're joking.
Me: I wish I could *crying*
HJ: Anya, sweetie, you''re only in highschool. You can't hold a baby. You're too young. You're alone too. Sav left you. You can't have a baby, remember Mia Jones? She was a mess! Anya, honey, you can't have a baby, you're too young.
Me: I know I'm too young. And I know I'm alone...
HJ: I'm sorry. You're not alone. You have me. I'll help with the baby, and I'll help you with everything, promise.
Me: Holly J, you have no idea how much I appreciate it. Really, thank you.
HJ: That's what friends are for.
Me: But I feel like I'm gonna be the new deGrassi slut. With a kid!
HJ: They're just labels. Don't take anything personally. I'm known as the DeGrassi school bitch. I don't really find myself as a bitch. That's why I have so many great friends, like you.
Me: But you're my ONLY good friend. You have a lot of good friends. I have nobody besides you.
HJ: Yes you do.
Me: No, I don't. *crying*
HJ: Yes you do. You're crying now. Maybe you should go home. I can help you with everything. I promise I will. I'll help you raise the baby. I promise. I'll help you tell Sav and your parents. You always have me, okay, sweetie?
Me: Holly J, you're the best. *wipes eyes*
HJ: I know. Just kidding. You are, and you're not a slut.
*Leaves Holly J's house*
Now I'm walking home.I'm still crying, but I'm wiping the tears off from my face. I feel so lonely. Holly J is a true friend. I love her sometimes. Not the way I love Sav. Ooh, I still love him.
Ooh, he sent me a text message. It says to come to his house. I will.
"Anya, please tell me you're joking."
"Joking about what, mom?"
"I can't believe my daughter is a SLUT"
"Dad, stop it!"
"How did this happen?"
"Ali, what are you talking about?"
"Anya, the part that you're pregnant."
"SAV!"
"How did this happen. How did you turn into a SLUT and get pregnant!"
"Dad, shut up, this isn't my fault!"
"Oh, my, Anya, were you raped?"
"No, Mrs. Bhandari, I wasn't."
"Then how did this happen?"
"Alli, shut up."
"Your father was right, you're a slut with no respect!"
"Mom, shut up!"
"Anya, honey, calm down, how did this happen?"
"Ask your son!"
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Thanks, Holly J, I wasn't ready. Now I ran out crying. Wow. I have tear drops all over my Degrassi sweatshrt. I don't know where I'm running, but I'm running. Running until I find something or someone to help me calm down. I'm a vagabond and I don't care anymore.
I came acrss some girl with red hair.
She noticed my panther t-shirt and asked if it was DeGrassi. She said she went tere. I was nervous to talk to her. "Oh, sorry, I'm Ellie Nash. I went to Degrassi. My best-friend Marco is the new student-teacher."
Me: "Wait, Ellie Nash? As in THE Ellie Nash? He talks about you all the time! I'm Anya. Hey, what happened to your aarm?"
El:"Oh, I used to cut."
Me:"What do you mean cut?"
El:"I mean cut myself. That day was the worst.. I thought I didn't make my co-op job, someone spilt juice on my shirt, my mom was an alcaholic, and my dad was at war. that was just my stupid way of dealing with things."
Me:"What would you say to somebody pregnant with no friends and had her boyfriend leave her?"
El:"My mom slapped my boyfriend. Marco used to be my boyfriend! Until he came out. I remember pretending to be his girlfriend before he came out to the reast of his friends. I remember he came out to his dad during a play Mr. Simpson held. Hamlett!"
Me: Oh my! Mr. Simpson! He's still a teacher at Degrassi!
Me and Ellie talked for a while. I like her. She's nice. She left to see Marco. I went shopping. She's really nice. I liked what she did. Ellie cut and she turned out fine. While looking for a store, I saw that a window was broken. I took a peice of shadered glass. I took it to my arm. It felt good to see it bleed. I was happy for the first time in a while. I liked the feeling. I liked the numbing. I liked how it scarred me and made me feel good again. Is this what;s gonna be like with a baby? I can tell she's not gonna be all rainbows and butterflies...