The Death Eaters Living, Fuzzy Nightmare
Lord Voldemort attempted to create a wormhole in order to breach Hogwarts.
He failed, miserably…
Lord Voldemort along with some of his closest followers and some minor cronies fell from a swirling vortex of nauseating proportions onto moist land in a forested area.
"Milord, I do not believe this is Hogwarts," Lucius Malfoy said, staring around curiously.
"Do you not think I had noticed, you fool!" Voldemort retorted. "Does anyone here know where we are?" Not a soul among the crowd of nearly 30 wasn't confused.
"Milord, may I suggest a search of the area to possibly answer the question at hand." Severus Snape inquired, his greasy hair made even more so by the intense humidity.
"Ya," Bellatrix Lestrange announced, "If we stay here too long, we're all going to have hair as greasy as Snape's. I hate greasy hair." Snape glared at her snide remark with disgust.
"We might as well," Voldemort answered, "We need to get to Hogwarts soon or there will be nobody there to greet us. Split up, Bellatrix, you stay with me."
Many death eaters looked disturbed by the strange surroundings, others terrified, especially Peter Pettigrew, who sulked off, quivering. Lucius strode off into a very clear area, and upon turning away from a large log, was knocked out cold by a blow to the head.
Lucius awoke head spinning, and unable to move. He seemed to be tied down, and realized he had been awakened by a burning on his left forearm. He also noticed he was moving. He needed to return to Voldemort, but was unable until he could at least get free.
He angled his head at the ground, and saw he was being carried by small, teddy bear like creatures, only a few feet tall, and seemingly quite strong. He reached for his wand, but realized it was missing before his hand could even try to reach. He began panicking, but saw it in one of the creature's odd hooded clothing. He had no idea what to do.
Just then, he heard a rasp like scream from up ahead. "Where is Malfoy!" his master screamed in rage. "And where in Merlin's beard are we!"Just as the hollering quieted, Malfoy saw a gap in the brush, and in the clearing were the rest of the death eaters; all but Voldemort, who was facing the opposite direction, saw him, and Snape pointed to Malfoy and sneered "It seems Mr. Malfoy has finally decided to show up."
Voldemort swirled around and actually smiled in surprise at seeing one of his best tied up on a log by such small and inferior creatures. The small creatures stopped to examine the new figures and muttered to each other in a strange tongue. After a moment, they nodded and walked off with Malfoy.
"We'll get him later, I'm hungry!" Bellatrix exclaimed. "Agreed?"
"Agreed," the death eaters, including Voldemort, spoke with many nods. They searched for a bit then finally found some fruit to eat. They gorged themselves quickly, for Voldemort wanted to get Lucius and leave, and most of the rest mutually agreed, though some just wanted to leave him and go.
"How are we going to find him, anyway?" Bellatrix asked.
"There is smoke, we will investigate that first, he may be there." Voldemort replied in a hiss.
"And how is it we're going to leave when we've got him?' she continued inquiring.
"We'll get to that when I figure it out. We can't use another portal, it requires moon phases, and as far as it seems, we're on the moon."
"Sir, do you know what those strange creatures carrying him away were?" I am not familiar with anything of the sort." Snape inquired cautiously.
"No, Severus, I do not. We will find out when we get there. Let's go!" All the death eaters became blackish smoke and flew off towards the smoke in the distance.
The death eaters reappeared in some brush near the smoke. Through the brush they could see buildings in the trees made of sticks and rope, and many of the odd creatures gathered around a large fire. Upon closer examination, they saw Lucius, still tied to the log, being prepared to be placed on the fire and, seemingly, roasted.
"Bellatrix, Severus, you come with me. The rest of you stay here." Voldemort commanded. The trio stormed out of the brush in a professional manner, and waltzed right on up to where Lucius was held.
"What is this Lucius?" Voldemort asked mockingly. "Being captured by these small creatures and nearly cooked?"
Lucius looked apologetically at Voldemort and began to speak when one of the creatures started to jab Voldemort quite violently in the leg with a primitive spear-like tool. Voldemort kicked at it and it only came back and jabbed harder. It was speaking in some strange tongue along the others.
"Allow me master." Snape volunteered, drawing his wand and pointing at the small beast. "Avada Kadavra!" A green jolt sent the creature flying. After a moment, some others came to check on it. They searched it over a bit then howled in agony.
Some began shaking, and all at once they ran for more spears and prepared to chase the murderers out. The ewoks were furious.
"They want a fight do they? Well, let them have it! Get out here you fools, we've got a fight on our hands," Voldemort announced.
The rest of the death eaters emerged from the brush, Lucius was freed, and the fighting ensued. Spears and colorful blasts flew everywhere. For about 10 minutes, screams in both languages filled the air while many ewoks and death eaters drew their final breaths.
Many ewoks were targeting Voldemort, and this was emphasized all at once with 4 spears or so flying at him at a time. Eventually, he was hit.
"Rgh…, retreat for now, but this is not over!" The remaining death eaters became black smoke and flew off at once.
They reappeared in the fruit grove, and were quite shocked at what showed up. Only 9 of the original 29 remained. Voldemort, Snape, Bellatrix, and Lucius all lived, but 19 of the minor cronies fell at the battle., and Peter ran like a woos in his rat form.
"These vicious beasts cannot go unpunished!" Voldemort exclaimed as he pulled the spear out of his wand arm. "After a good night's rest, we crush the primitive fools under the might of modern magic!"
The remaining death eaters cheered a cry of excitement, and prepared for sleep while Voldemort repaired his arm. Their rest was almost peaceful, except for those frequent scurrying sounds all over the place…
The death eaters awoke groggily the next morning. They stood up and waited for instructions. Just then, an ewok showed up and began screaming at them.
"Allow me," Lucius said. He drew his wand, but the ewok began to run. He chased after it, but suddenly his foot was caught on a rope and he was lifted high up, and at the branch was impaled straight through by a spear, a look of surprise forever painted on his aging face. His wand fell out of his pocket, and was snatched by the ewok before it ran off again.
The death eaters, caught so off guard by this primitive trap, were left stunned as the ewok made off with Lucius's wand. Blood steadily dripped from the corpse as the death eaters regained control of the situation and Voldemort was infuriated.
"Hunt down every last one of those beasts and murder them all!" Voldemort hollered. "And don't get tricked so easily like this fool here."
Ewoks took the rage as a signal to start and showed up every where, flinging spears from all directions at the group. A few of the minor cronies were hit, but most of the spears were deflected easily. It was now 5 against a whole lot.
Bellatrix held up her wand to send off an Incendio spell, when suddenly an ewok swung in on a vine and snatched it out of her hand. She scowled and ran after it between two trees, and two large logs suspended by thick vines crushed her head and send blood and brain matter splattering all over the general area.
"Fool, I said not to run off like that," Voldemort hissed at her corpse from afar.
"I'm so sorry for waiting this long to suggest this," Snape stated, "but why don't we try to apparate back to Earth?"
Voldemort pondered momentarily as the ewoks cheered their victory over Bellatrix. "You," he pointed to a crony, "attempt to apparate back." The crony did as he was told. There was a piercing crack that startled the ewoks, but then something strange occurred.
Rather than that being the end of it, the man's voice hollered in agony as a vortex opened where he stood a split second before, a roaring noise accompanying it. It started out about the size of a tree stump, but swirled and shrank until it was only the size of a marble.
"Protego!" both Voldemort and Snape cast in unison. The small vortex the hissed into non-existence as it let off a wave of energy that not only killed the only remaining crony and plenty of ewoks, but also lit nearly the whole forest on fire.
The ewoks started running amok in horror as Snape gave Voldemort a confused look and got one of irritation in return. Then, behind them, a squeaky voice shouted "Avada Kadavra!" with horrible enunciation. However, the spell still worked fine when the flash of green light struck Snape flat in the back.
"Ohh … that's not good at all. I'm stuck here these inferior and apparently magical teddy bears, my Death Eaters have been slaughtered, and I'm stuck in a burning forest in a different dimension. What else could possibly go wrong?" Voldemort hissed as the ewoks fell in the background and a zooming noise came towards him from behind. The trees had burned out quickly, for the area was totally barren, and none of the ewoks seemed to survive.
But what in the world is that zooming?
Voldemort turned around and saw the same ewok that killed Snape with Bellatrix's wand, zooming in towards him on what seemed to be a large mechanical, and shiny broom, but more resembled a Muggle dirt bike, though floating and moving about 215 miles per hour- right at him.
Wicket got a speeder
This was to be the final showdown. The great dark lord of wizardry, the almighty He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named, the great Voldemort himself vs. a little teddy bear thing on a really fast something-or-another, and a wand.
"Avada…" Voldemort hissed as he raised his wand, then zoooom. The speeder flew right past Voldemort and ruined his concentration. The teddy thing wasn't even on the seat; it was only trailing behind the handlebars onto which it held. It turned and came right back at him.
"Reducto!" Voldemort hollered at the speeder, as a blast of light caused it to explode everywhere. Though, this also sent Wicket flying directly at Voldemort. When he collided into him, Voldemort dropped his wand, and Wicket pointed the wand at Voldemort and shouted in the same voice and bad enunciation, "Protego!"
This caused the ewok to fly backwards off of Voldemort, but also crushed Voldemort in between an invisible shield and the hard, ashen ground. As the shield dissipates and releases Voldemort from the crushing pain seconds later, he reaches for his wand hears Wicket holler "Reducto!", and Voldemort's wand shattered as he nearly grabbed it.
"You filthy…!" Voldemort bellowed. He scrambled up and pointed his finger at the creature as it pointed the wand at him.
Without a medium to focus it through, Voldemort's magic was a little less potent and accurate but he hoped for the best. "Crucio!" he shouted, but barely missed as the ewok leaped sideways, and repeated the spell back at him. Voldemort cringed a bit to it, but didn't really feel pain until Wicket clubbed in the back of the head with the wand just after the spell subsided.
He felt lightheaded, and was being beaten by one of his best cohort's wand by a teddy-like creature. Voldemort struggled to turn over, but was knocked unconscious in the process. While in this state, Wicket took a nearby spear and shanked Voldemort through the throat.
Not only were the ewoks victorious, though also few in number, little did Voldemort know the horcruxes only work in the dimension they were made in. Poor, poor super-evil-wizard-man.