Zdood proudly presents:
An eldritch tome of lore light-years beyond the comprehension of man and inches beyond the comprehension of woman, its virtual pages written with the blood and tears of lolcows all the galaxy over:
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AN: I-It's not like this is a rip-off of Thirty H's or anything! Baka!
-XO[]/\-
Chapter 1: A Bashful Tsundere's Demure Kiss
-XO[]/\-
Noire drank from the skull torn from the head of the foolish dragon that dared challenge her rule, reveling in the taste of the beast's cerebral juices and taking in its knowledge and power whilst lounging in her golden throne built through the labor of one hundred elderly undead vampire NPCs.
"Kei, are there any other infidels who I must fuck the hell up today?" queried Noire.
"Yes my lordess," answered Kei, "there still remain 616 infidels who challenge your absolute rule. Go my lordess, and kill the crap out of them. Kill the crap out of them so fucking hard that they go to the top-secret thirteenth level of Hell as a result of your holy punishment."
Noire nodded, tossing the dragon skull cup away with a flick of her hand. She then took into hand the mighty black demonic deathsword Gehaburn, ancient Gamindustrian for 'The Executionator,' a living deathsword molded from the melted bones of 1300 God Mode Sues and baptized in a vat of the freshly-squeezed blood of all the world's crappy self-inserts, filled and powered with the eternally damned, screaming souls of countless eviscerated orphans. Countless eviscerated orphans with diseases.
And then, Noire swung The Executionator, Gehaburn. With this one swing, she destroyed the fuck out of ten million planets, three suns, and a black hole, the chunks of the celestial bodies that had the fuck destroyed out of them then raining down upon the 616 remaining infidels and destroying the fuck out of them as well.
The Truest of all True Goddesses then sat her lovely behind back down into her golden throne, her job done. Calmly taking another sip of the dragon skull cup's gray matter, she then grabbed her nearby concubine Neptune and frenched her fucking brains out.