Rubik's Cube

Disclaimer: I don't own KH characters; references to the book The Testament by John Grisham.

Warning: shonen-ai (boy-boy love), Zemyx below.

A/N: happy belated reverse Zemyx Day!! I have so many other things going on in my life (mostly meaningless... haha...) Anyway if you enjoyed this please review or fav!

When did it start? Oh yes, that day at the Laundromat. Demyx was stuffing the dried clothes into the laundry basket while I sat atop one of the washers, trying to figure out how to solve the Rubik's Cube in my hand. Unconsciously I moaned, flipping the toy between my fingers trying to just get it work! Demyx chuckled softly beside me, shoving another handful of clothes. I groaned upon hearing his amusement, tucking my legs in to sit more comfortably, eyes still strained on the toy.

"Still can't figure it out?" He asked in a soft voice, the one he uses only around me.

"I will very soon, thanks, Demyx." I replied. This is no time for me to get distracted!

"You can do it." Demyx said in an unusually confident manner. "You're Zexion."

"Hm." I hummed in reply nonchalantly. Not until a moment later did I grasp the more important meaning behind his words. In fact, he might not even know that he had said more than the words meant. I looked at him, staring at the small movements he made when shook the clothes free, at the motions of his hands when he folded the clothes, at how his bottom lip jutted out whenever he was concentrated on a task. I blinked, and he looked at me, eyebrows rising in question.

I looked away and then I could tell he shrugged. I was staring down at the Rubik's Cube but I was too disoriented to continue solving it. Another matter had plagued my mind. My hand slackened but I didn't realize it until Demyx called my name.

"Zexion," He said, the basket full of neat garments in his arms. "Let's go home."

I muttered an 'oh' lightly before hopping off from the washer, stuffing the Rubik's Cube into my sweater pocket and hurrying off after Demyx. The sky outside was turning into cobalt and violet, like it usually did at this hour.

Yet something was different.

So new; so different. I'm too scared to touch it; too afraid to go near it.

"Hey! Where's Demyx?" I was interrupted from my reading as Sora blatantly plopped down next to me in the study hall. Sometimes I wonder about Demyx's tastes in making friends.

"He went to his hometown," I replied. "To visit his parents."

"And why aren't you with him?" The brunet proceeded to ask. Persistent little brat.

"No thank you." The last time I met with his parents, his mother tried to make me finish three jars worth of cookies in one night. It was a wonder I didn't have diarrhea after that. "It'd be rude to bother them while they get a chance to meet with their son."

"Aren't you just scared of his mom?" Sora snorted. Damn kid.

"Why don't you go play with your little Barbie dolls? I'm sure they'd love to let you pester them." Yes, Sora played with Barbie dolls, I found out. It was an accidental discovery one night when I couldn't sleep and decided to go take a shower. The kid was sitting in a half-filled tub, arms hung over the side of it and maneuvering the toys on top of the toilet. I never went to the bathroom on that side of the dormitory again.

And presently Sora looked like he was about to cry. Just a wonderful thing to have in the middle of a silent (and supposedly so) study hall! Even worse, Riku came from behind the boy out of nowhere, glaring daggers at me.

"Are you harassing Sora again, Zexion?" He asked with a dangerously low voice.

"What are you talking about?" I asked languidly, eyes swimming back into my book. "He came talking to me first."

Sora pouted and Riku glared at me even harder. He and I never really got along. Well, not that I really got along with any of Demyx's friends. It's a mystery why Demyx was any different from them. I never gave a second thought about why he was so unique. Sighing, I snapped my book shut and stood up from my chair, grabbing the small suitcase which I used for all my college supplies. Demyx always said I was like an old man when it comes to deciding the apparels I used.

"Only forty-five-years-old salary men will use those suitcases!" He'd say.

Either way, I waved casually at the duo before leaving the hall. The air was fresh outside; and as I breathed in I remembered Demyx's absence. Maybe I should call him…

'You're Zexion.'

I decided against it. The sleek cell phone slipped back into my pocket as I returned my book into its place in the suitcase. Tonight I would have to cook and eat alone. Hm… Maybe I should just eat out. It'd be far more convenient that way.

So I did that, and returned to the dorm at about nine. Tomorrow's classes start at noon, so I had three more hours I could use. I sat on the side of my bed, wondering what I should do. I could read, work on the semester's essay, solve my Rubik's Cube, or…

I looked up at Demyx's bed, then I decided that I would just go with reading. I grabbed my suitcase, running my finger along the spines of books and folders, and finally felt the one of the book I was reading in the study hall. I took it out, sat against the headboard of my bed, and started reading. The room was definitely a lot quieter without Demyx here. He'd usually turn on some kind of music, or he would be the music maker himself, or he would babble and babble along abou-

Oh dear. Let's concentrate on the book, shall we? Let's see… ah, yes, Nate had recovered from Malaria and he should return to the quest of finding Rachel Lane soon. Funny, I wouldn't go all the way across the world just to find someone I previously didn't know or didn't have any connection with except for a job. Wait… it was Nate's job to find her.

Once again, I was interrupted from my reading when my cell phone on the dresser vibrated violently. I gently placed the bookmark into the book and put it onto my bed, my other hand taking the cell phone to my ear.

"Zexion speaking."

"Hey, it's me." Demyx's voice softly resounded on the other side. "I just thought I'd call to see if you're okay… since you haven't called me…"

"I'm an adult, Demyx." I laughed a little. "What could happen to me?"

"Well I know it's unlikely but…" He started, but then hesitated. "Nevermind."

Something clenched horribly at my heart. I moved my hand from fumbling with the bookmark to my chest. "So how's Sapporo for you?"

"Huh? O-Oh! Yeah, um, it's great." Demyx's voice seemed to have cheered up. "I finally got to eat at that Teppanyaki store I kept telling you about, on the day I got off from the airplane." That was two days ago. "And yesterday we went to the snow festival. It was awesome! The snow castles were so beautiful."

I would imagine they are. I wonder what it would look like to have Demyx stand upon one of those ice-crafted balconies.

"Well good. I'm glad you're enjoying yourself." I said with a smile.

"Y-Yeah." Demyx replied weakly. Why was he stuttering so much? "I'll go now, okay? See ya."

"Bye." I said steadily before hanging up.

--

On the other side of the planet, Demyx reluctantly closed his cell phone and let it drop into his jeans' pocket. A lady beside him saw his condition and curled her arms around his.

"Who was that, darling?" She said, a hand on Demyx's arm, looking up at the young man. "Your girlfriend?"

"Well… Kind of." Demyx let out a sheepish breath. "My lover."

"Ah! You little punk." She pinched his arm. "You're in love and you didn't tell me?"

"Mom…" Demyx sighed, shrugging his arm out of her grasp and leaned onto the railing of the bridge they were on.

"What?" She walked up to stand beside him. "I have to care about my son's happiness! So who is it? How come you didn't tell me when you got off from the plane?"

"You didn't ask." Demyx pouted. And she didn't ask because Zexion never called. It was a little frustrating. When they first started dating, Zexion would call right after Demyx landed in Sapporo. Now… let Demyx be a little melodramatic, but it feels almost as if the fire of their love is dwindling!

"Demyx." His mother intruded his thoughts. "Happiness is something you have to get a firm grip on once you've found it. Don't let go of it."

"I know, Mom." Demyx sighed again. I just wish he knows…

Will you realize? All those I've done for you, all that I've changed for you. There's only one reason…

More days went on without Demyx. I finally decided to haul my ass up and start working on that essay due in next three months. I was not to be disturbed, so I turned off my cell phone. I began to sit behind the desk a lot, always facing my laptop and researching for evidences to use in my essay. Little did I know that this was going to lead to that afterwards…

It was a few days later, when I was leaning back on the chair watching the ceiling as I took a break from the essay writing that Demyx suddenly walked in from the door with his luggage in toll. I shot up, turning around with my eyes wide open.

"Demyx!" I exclaimed. "When did you come back?"

"Just this morning." He said, dumping his furry snow jacket onto the baggage. "I tried to call you and tell you that but it kept going to the voicemail." He stopped midway in his actions, and then looked at me. I blinked back as he approached me and squatted down to get eyes-level with me.

"Zexion…" His voice was no more than a whisper. "Is something bothering you? Did I do something?"

The look on his face made me weak. I breathed in and shook my head. "No." I said, spinning around in my chair. "I was just busy, that's all." I could hear him straighten up behind me. He sighed and my heart clenched horribly again. I took another deep breath before resuming typing on my computer. Then I heard the bathroom door being closed behind and I knew he went for a shower.

When he came out, he was in nothing but the towel that hung around his hips. I found myself staring at him, at the damp skin shining under the dim light of the dorm room, at the curve of his arms and muscles, at the messed up wet hair that he was drying with another towel, at how he moved as he slipped into those jeans. He looked at me, and raised his eyebrows. Immediately I looked away again. What a distraction when I was so close to finishing my paper!

But I was busted. With hands on the back of my chair Demyx swirled me back to face him again. There was a knowing, mischievous grin on his face as he… he giggled. He bent down to place his face inches away from mine. I knew what he was going to do.

"You were staring." He said.

"No, Demyx. Not now." I growled, forcefully moving away from him. I could tell he was shocked by my actions. "I'm busy." My heart wouldn't stop aching.

"Zexion…"

"NO." I said, and winced when it was louder than I wanted. I half-expected him to still turn me back around no matter what; but that never happened. Instead, I heard the room's door open and close behind me. That was unexpected, so I turned around, and silence greeted me.

Demyx was gone.

I was in good slumber until someone imprudently dropped or landed onto the study desk in the library. I was shaken out of my sleep and rubbed my eyes, looking for the evil person who disturbed my sleep.

Oh… Evil, evil.

"What did you do to Demyx?!" Sora asked loudly, raising heads and eyes in the place. Riku behind him pulled Sora a bit, gesturing him to quiet down.

"Demyx…?" I crooked my eyebrows confusedly. "I did nothing."

"Liar." Riku was the one to say before Sora could open his mouth. "He didn't even go to class today. We tried to call him but no one would pick up. All we know about him right now is that he went to sleep in Roxas' room last night because you kicked him out."

"No I didn't." I said, and hesitated at telling them what really happened. "He was the one who went out himself."

"Don't you care what's happening to him?!" Sora thumped his palms onto the table angrily. I crooked my eyebrows at his childish actions; people really were staring at us now.

"I do, but I don't think anything's wrong with him." I shuffled a little in my chair, picking up my book. "Now will you please leave me alone? This is the library. You're making quite a scene."

"S-Scene?! What is wrong wi-"

"Sora, forget it." Riku cut the brunet short, then he glared at me. "This guy doesn't deserve Demyx."

An indignation rose inside me at his last words, but somehow I didn't stand up to argue or make them stay. I watched as Riku hustled Sora along, finally leaving the library for good. I sighed, slumping back into the chair. Great… Now I have absolutely no mood for reading. With a groan I closed the book and placed it back onto the shelf behind me, taking my suitcase with me back to the dorm.

No one was in the room when I got back. Oh yeah… Sora and Riku said that Demyx didn't go to class. What the hell had he been doing?

"Hello?"

"Demyx? It's Zexion." I said. "Sora and Riku had been looking for you."

"O-Oh, really?" He asked. Was there insecurity in his voice? "Alright. I'll give them a call."

"Okay." I sat down into my chair and turned on my laptop.

"Hey, Zexion?"

"Yeah?"

"…Nevermind." He declined. I perked my head up. A faint shower hovered over the sky, soft raindrops tapping onto the window of our room. "I'll see you."

"Okay, bye." I said before hanging up. See? I was right. Demyx was fine.

It took me a long while before I found out I was wrong.

Prove me wrong; I know you can. Come ahead and smack me in the face.

I met Roxas per chance in one of the hallways on campus. He was just saying goodbye to Axel when he walked out of the resource center. I smiled politely and approached him, not at all bothered by a small conversation with the brightest kid in the pack of Demyx's friends.

"Hi, Zexion." He greeted. "Oh, when will you be in your room tonight? Demyx asked me to get his stuff for him."

"His stuff?" I blinked. "What, did he leave his wallet or something? I can bring it over-"

"No, all of his stuff. You know, for the study abroad program?" He asked in a tone as if I should know what he was talking about. "You… don't know? Demyx signed up for an exchange student program. The music department was offered a chance for the music students to perform with Japanese bands in Japan."

"Wait… what?!"

"Demyx hadn't told you?" Roxas blinked with as much bewilderment as I had. "He'd be leaving by the end of September. The program lasts for a whole year. It's a study abroad program."

"I…" I was in a position with no words to say whatsoever. Demyx had never made decisions of such importance without asking me for advice or informing me first. "Did he say anything about me to you? Like… anything?"

"Well… yeah, actually. He said you were busy and he didn't want to bother you." Roxas rubbed his chin thoughtfully. "But to think that he didn't tell you about this… Uh… Did something happen between you two?"

At that moment, Roxas seemed to have asked a question even I couldn't answer. Nothing out of the ordinary really occurred between me and Demyx… Or maybe… there was that day at the Laundromat when I felt like something was different; but what?

"I don't think so…" I replied distractedly. "Anyway, can you let me have a talk with Demyx before getting his stuff?"

"Oh, okay." The blond nodded before I walked off. It was time for me and Demyx to talk.

Can I be honest with you? Can I trust you? This was the last thing I thought I'd share with anyone…

I didn't get a chance to meet Demyx until I guess when it was really time for him to pack up. Without Roxas helping him get his things, he must come to our room himself. I almost waited 24/7 at the room, save for class times. This isn't how I want it to end. This isn't how I want-

Oh.

So that was what it was.

The door creaked open. "Zexion?"

"Demyx…" I gasped after turning to the blond. We stared at each other for a long time. In fact, time didn't feel like it existed. It was as if he could tell what just dawned to me, but he seemed to be retracting, afraid and scared. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"T-Tell you?"

"About going to Japan; why didn't you tell me?"

"Oh…" He entered the room sheepishly and closed the door, keeping his eyes on the ground. "I-I didn't want to disturb you…"

"So you'd just leave without saying goodbye?" Why did I sound angry? I had no right to be mad at Demyx. I caused this all; if only I had realized it earlier…

"I'm tired of this, Zexion." Demyx sighed, letting shoulder fall as if a weight was put down on them.

"Tired of what?" I looked at him, and he looked back as if I was glaring at him. Was I?

"I'm tired of sitting around here not knowing what you think!" He blurted out. "I don't know what went wrong, Zexion… I swear if I did anything wrong, you can just tell me. I'll change it; I'll make it up to you. But don't go all silent and keep everything to yourself. I hate feeling like this; I hate feeling like I don't know you, like I'm not a part of your world…"

Then I knew it was all my fault. Then I knew I was all wrong. I should've just told him that day, when I stared at him and he stared back and raised his eyebrows. I should have just said it right out, and it would've saved us all this trouble. Why did I always have to make things complicated?

Demyx was crying; slowly weeping, standing there weak and defenseless. I found myself staring again; at how his lips quivered when he sobbed, at the tears that ran over the rim of his ocean green eyes, at the damp eyelashes that clamped together under the tears. This was Demyx, my roommate, my friend, the only one who've tried to talk to me, to befriend me while everyone else thought I was a weirdo; the only one who wouldn't mind when I get angry, sad, happy, excited, annoyed; the only one who'd seen me during those times; the only one who'd laundry my underwears, who'd cook dinner for me and eat with me; the only one who would believe that I can solve a Rubik's Cube just simply because I was who I am.

The only one that truly loves me.

I went up to him and curled my arms around him. I was so stupid. I hurt him without knowing; pushed him away when he needed me the most. Riku was so correct; I didn't deserve Demyx.

"Demyx…" I whispered next to his ears. That day at the Laundromat, I stared at him and realized something was different; this was what was different.

"I love you."

Did you know? You are my world.