A/N: I really need to finish the Jaesa-recruitment fic at some point. For now, here's part of the aftermath.
Enjoy.
Open Books
o.O.o
"What kind of training is this?" Jaesa demands, picking herself up again, her jaw tight, eyes visibly watering.
Evren blinks. She's in pain. She's showing that she's in pain, and she didn't see the blow coming, and—"Oh stars, I'm so sorry. I thought—I assumed—different training methods, of course they'd be different, of course you wouldn't expect . . ." He grimaces. "Bit late to mention that I'm used to sparring nonstop until someone collapses from exhaustion or from their injuries, I suppose."
"Why? What purpose does that serve?" She straightens, recovering by degrees, her brow furrowing.
"It shows you your limits. Ensures you can keep fighting even while in pain, because you know that you've done it before. It's also a means of testing your ability to channel that pain to your advantage, in a more controlled environment than actual combat."
". . . That's the dark side, then."
"Part of it. At any rate, it's a useful skill to have."
Jaesa nods unhappily. "I can see its utility. But I'm not—I don't want to become . . ."
"What—yes! Of course. That was an explanation, not—"
"Not trying to turn me," Jaesa says, smiling. It doesn't reach her eyes. Grief still warps her Force signature, bleeds it grey and heavy. She makes no effort to disguise it; she never has tried to mask her emotions around him. Evren wonders if it's a gesture of trust, or apathy—or simply not knowing how. Most of the Jedi he's encountered have been painfully open with their emotions when their preternatural calm breaks. It's going to get Jaesa killed the first time she interacts with an orthodox Sith in person. Concealing her thoughts, at least, is something he can teach her that doesn't require the dark side to maintain.
And when he offers it as an option in lieu of continuing their ill-fated sparring bout, Jaesa's smile brightens just a little, and she hooks her saberstaff to her belt. "Let's try it."
o.O.o
end