Warning: Season 3 Episode 1 spoilers, and mentions of torture
A little analysis about Sherlock's new personality in season 3. I hope you enjoy!
It's too much.
He's been away for two years, away to finish off the rest of Moriarty's men. Two long years away from 221B Baker Street. Two long years away from Mrs. Hudson, from Lestrade and Molly, from John. He knows that he hurt John. He knows that he deserved every broken bone and bruise, because he left his friend, one of his only friends, in the dark.
So he laughs, and he giggles, and he pretends that everything's okay. Even though it's not.
And when he meets Mary; clever, romantic, disillusioned Mary Morstan, he smiles, because John has a future with her. John was perfectly happy without him, would've been perfectly happy without him. The truth is that John had moved on from him. For God's sake, John grew a mustache! A bloody mustache! So he laughs, and acts based on what he remembers. Sherlock pretends that everything is as it was two years ago, running through London, solving crimes. Everything feels so foreign now, John, Molly, Lestrade, himself. Two years away from them, and he had deteriorated, in every sense of the word. There remained the glaring fact that he was painfully aware of: Sherlock had forgotten how to act, how to be, how to understand human nature.
As soon as he gets back to Baker Street, he resumes his job as a detective, solving crimes, helping people, and all that bullocks. He doesn't stop to rest, he doesn't stop to eat or sleep. Because he can't risk thinking about the criss-crossed scars on his back, the feel of tightly knit skin that had only just healed. So Sherlock worked to get everything back to normal, to the way it was. He tacks theories and images onto the battered wall of 221B, putting his mind and body into getting to the bottom of the imminent terrorist attack. He recruits Molly to solve crimes with him while John is processing his return. And when Mary comes bursting in, carrying her mobile with the text message and the skip code, he panics. The great Sherlock Holmes panics. He had just gotten back to John, he couldn't afford to lose him already.
It's amazing how fire exposes our priorities. He rushes to pull John out of the fire, away from harm's way. Because he can't be alone again. He can't.
And when he's faced with the bomb, he sees the best opportunity to make sure that John loves him. Sherlock needs to make sure, he needs to see that John truly forgave him. He knows that what he did was horribly wrong, but it was worth it. He can't afford to be lonely again.
Even after the threat of a terrorist bombing is gone, even after saving the day with John, and making amends with old friends, he still can't do it.
It's still just too much.