What Mike Chang Knows
A Glee fanfiction by Lonesome Bird
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For the sake of giving you guys something to read while you wait for the next chapter of All It Took, I present you with a one shot about Mike Chang. Enjoy! :)
Disclaimer: I don't own Glee the song used in this story.
Mike Chang knows a lot of things.
When he sees Quinn Fabray for the first time his freshman year, he knows within three minutes that he will never be anything more to her than another faceless football player. He can't say that this bothers him, because really, he has more important things to worry about than girls. But… there's something sad about going through high school and doing something that you're passionate about, only to be seen as another person in the crowd simply because he is not in the spot light.
Quinn Fabray is almost perfect, that much he is sure of, so much that he would rather never speak to her and mar her image with any cruel words or shallow comments that he knows she is so famous for. The blonde is known for having a sharp tongue, despite her blonde cheerleader visage.
Mike Chang knows that he is not in love with her, per say; he just loves her for some immeasurable reason. This bothers him, because 1.) she is Finn Hudson's girl the instant that they both take up the reigns of quarterback and head Cheerio, and 2.) he has never even had a conversation with the girl.
Sometimes, you just can't help but love someone, want to make sure that they're happy.
Quinn Fabray was anything but happy, that much Mike could see.
Mike Chang had always prided himself on his skills of observation, something that came with having a best friend like Matt who was just as quiet as himself. He had to learn to pick up on what his best friend wanted, words or not. Body language was always the key to understanding other people.
He knew that Quinn was never comfortable in her surroundings.
To the others around her, Quinn Fabray was tall, confident, beautiful, and intimidating.
No one messed with Quinn, not ever.
But Mike saw things about Quinn that others didn't, like the way her lip sometimes trembled in the slightest when she saw an innocent geek get slushied, or when that quick flash of concern clouded her eyes for only a split second when she saw that kid in the wheel chair get carried away by Karofsky and Azimio, before returning to her cold, blank stare.
He saw the way she would tense up ever so slightly when Finn would slide one of his mammoth hands over her shoulder, and how her gaze sometimes lingered just a little bit too long on the retreating form of other female students as they walked by, hips swaying softly, completely unaware of the head Cheerio's eyes on them, a little more interested than they should be.
Mike suspected that Quinn Fabray might just be a little repressed.
Okay, a lot repressed.
It made sense to him. Mike had heard from along the football grapevine how strict and, well…Christian her parents were. Not that he had anything against Christianity. Mike Chang was a very respectful guy. He just knew that too much oppression could be unhealthy for individuals, especially when it came to sexual repression.
For a while, Mike thinks that he might be wrong about his assumptions. Maybe Quinn Fabray really is the straightest, happiest, cruelest, most confident girl at McKinley. It's not like he's never been wrong about people before.
But then a girl named Rachel Berry came along, and Mike realizes that he had guessed correctly from the beginning.
She is tiny and loud and dresses like no one her age should. Quinn bullies her mercilessly, even daring to throw a few slushies at the girl herself, something that Mike knows she has never gone as far to do to any other geek before. Mike has to admit, she's pretty awful to the small brunette, so much so that he even briefly considers going to Coach Sylvester about her behavior (something he quickly decides against because honestly, he'd rather face a pack of starving wolves than talk to that woman).
Mike starts to pay closer attention to the blonde, which honestly makes him feel a little creepy.
He can't help himself.
Quinn seems to bully her because she likes Finn and has managed to get him signed up for some club called New Directions. Mike chuckles when he says the name slowly to himself and wonders if Schuester has grasped the phonetics of the title. The club actually sounds kind of fun, despite the bad reputation that it already has. Of course, Mike would never admit this to anyone.
He has to lift an eyebrow in suspicion when Quinn and her two other Cheerio lackeys join the club themselves. He assumes it is because Sue Sylvester has some nefarious plot regarding Mr. Schuester, but he can never be to certain what Quinn's motives actually are for doing anything, especially when it comes to Rachel.
Mike sees Quinn gazing softly at Rachel one day from across the hall, and he suddenly realizes not necessarily why Quinn has done the things to Rachel that she has, but at least the reasoning behind her decisions. She loves –well, at least like likes – the small diva. There is no way that look could be mistaken for anything else. Rachel is too busy fending off that little creep Jacob Ben Israel to feel the blonde's stare, but Mike sees and suddenly feels very stupid for not realizing this before now.
Thoughts are slowly assaulting Mike's head and when he finally manages to clear them, he notices Quinn Fabray staring back at him, a panicked look on her face that lasts for only a split second. She knows that he has seen her secret. She glares at him with eyes that hold barely concealed terror. He smiles at her in return and she softens, if only slightly.
Mike Chang is by no means a bad guy.
Her secret is safe with him.
Mike joins New Directions about a week later, purely by coincidence and other deciding factors. He's just glad Matt is dancing by his side.
They never speak. Mike knows that they don't have to. He has seen an intimate part of Quinn Fabray's soul that she is most likely still struggling to accept. They are both okay with ignoring one another until fate decides to someday push them together again. Mike kind of hopes that it doesn't do this, as the girl still intimidates him a little.
Needless to say, Mike is surprised when he finds out that Quinn is pregnant.
He assumes people are just making things up until he sees Quinn in the hallway, nestled into Finn's arms, crying her eyes out. Finn doesn't seem to know what to do. The boy is shell-shocked. He just holds her and repeats, "It's going to be okay. Everything is going to be okay."
Rachel Berry stands across the hall, observing the unfolding scene.
Mike notices that she looks heart-wrenchingly sad. She is not looking at Finn, but rather the slender blonde who is sobbing in his arms. Mike has seen this look before.
He doesn't make any assumptions, he just knows.
Mike turns and walks away.
Later that day, Rachel gathers the members of the glee club and they quickly arrange and choreograph a cover of "Keep Holding On." Mike notices Rachel and Quinn locking eyes throughout the entire song. When the song is over, the rest of the club leaves the auditorium. Finn apologizes to Quinn for having to leave, but he is already late for football practice and coach Tanaka adds five laps for every minute a player is late. As Mike is leaving the auditorium with the rest of his football buddies, he glances back. Rachel is holding onto Quinn tightly, while the taller girl cries into her shoulder. Mike smiles and heads to practice.
Over the next few months, he is busy with football and glee and dancing. Mike loves dancing more than he loves anything. He is glad that he has taken on glee because without it, he isn't sure if would have ever had the courage to get up and show people. He is the best dancer in the club, next to Brittany, and he respects the hell out of her for that.
When he is not dancing, he is singing. When he is not singing, he is keeping an eye on the two girls that he has come to find he cares very much about, despite their lack of actual conversation. He sees that they're at least friendly now, which makes joy balloon in his chest.
The year ends and they come in third at Regionals and Quinn has her baby.
Puck tells Mike that she named her Beth and that she had Quinn's eyes. They gave her to Rachel's biological mother. For some reason, this little fact causes a burning sensation in Mike's chest.
Summer happens and Mike becomes invested in Asian camp, more dancing, and Tina. Quinn and Rachel's star-crossed destinies are pushed to the back of his mind, though not entirely forgotten.
Mike has just returned from Asian camp and is walking through the streets of Lima, searching for various shops and restaurants where he can take Tina on dates. He is looking in the window of a particularly interesting book store, when he catches a glance of familiar blonde hair in the store window.
Quinn Fabray is in the book store.
Mike swallows audibly, and has every intention of turning and walking away.
He doesn't.
By some unseen force propelling his feet, Mike Chang walks into the store. She doesn't even bat an eyelash when he approaches her.
"Hi, Mike," she says.
"H-hi. How are you doing?"
Quinn levels him with her hazel gaze.
"Okay, I suppose. Want to go for a walk?"
"S-sure."
"Let me just pay for this."
Mike nods, and Quinn carefully shuts a battered copy of Alice's Adventures in Wonderland that she has been flipping through, before bringing it to the counter and paying. Mike always thought her to be more of a Narnia type of girl.
Quinn pays and before he knows it, the two of them are sitting at a table in front of an almost empty café. Quinn is sipping a cup of tea, while Mike licks the whipped cream off of the top of his frappe chino. She peers at him, an amused look in her eyes.
"We've never really talked, have we, Mike?" Quinn asks, her tone even and curious.
"I guess not."
"Yet…I feel like you're someone that I can trust."
"That's a good thing, right?"
Quinn laughs. It is a sound that can only be described as melodic.
"Of course."
"Oh…great then."
Quinn takes another sip of her tea before turning back to him.
"You've known about my feelings for Rachel for a while, haven't you?"
Her question catches him off guard, and he sputters slightly.
"Um…yes, I think so."
"How?"
She isn't angry or accusing, just genuinely curious. Mike notices her pinky running up and down the handle of the mug she is holding. She's nervous, too. Mike is unsure how to reply.
"I guess…I could see it in your eyes. Your body language. The way you treated her and spoke to her, it was like you were a little kid throwing rocks at his crush on the playground."
Quinn blushes slightly, something that secretly delights Mike.
"I see…was I that obvious?"
"I don't think so. I just pay closer attention to people than most."
"That's a good quality to have, Mike Chang."
Mike smiles. He hesitates slightly, and then opens his mouth to ask his next question.
"Does she know?"
Sadness fills Quinn's eyes and he is reminded so much of the girl he first saw freshman year. He wishes she would go away.
"No," Quinn finally whispers.
"I think she might like you back, you know," Mike says quietly.
"I don't know. I don't really allow myself to hope anymore."
"Why is that?"
"The last thing that I hoped for was a way for my daughter to stay with me. That didn't work out so well."
"That's not endgame, Quinn," Mike says with a smile. "Not every hope you have is going to be shot down."
Quinn looks down at her tea.
"I know. But…it's like…since Beth is gone, there's this gaping hole in me that I don't know how to fill. I don't know how to feel anymore. I don't remember how to hope. I don't even remember who I was before she came along."
"Maybe you just need to find someone to help you fill that hole. Not like…fill the hole themselves, because that's only something that you yourself can do. Just… someone to help you along so you can do it yourself."
Mike blushes slightly and feels like a bumbling idiot. He was never the most eloquent person, but he is never more aware of it than when he is in front of Quinn. A small smile graces her lips, and Mike Chang realizes how lucky he is to be the cause of it.
"Maybe."
By this time, both teens have finished their drinks and the sun is starting to set. Quinn looks up at him.
"You're a really good person, Mike. I'm lucky that it was you who took notice of me and not some other ass."
"Thank you."
Mike stands up and dusts himself off.
"Bye, Mike."
"Bye, Quinn. Your secret is still safe, by the way. And you really should try talking to Rachel more. People can surprise you."
Quinn gives him another little smile, which he returns.
Mike Chang goes home, feeling proud. He rewards himself with an hour-long, free style dance marathon in his room.
Summer passes by without another glimpse of Quinn Fabray, and before he knows it, Mike is a junior at McKinley. The year starts off with new members of glee and a new football coach. Mike continues to keep an eye on the two girls that he has come to feel a strange protectiveness over.
They don't interact at first. Quinn ignores Rachel, and Rachel ignores Quinn. One day, Mike catches Quinn's eye and raises his brow at her as if to say, "Talk to her!" Quinn's lips form a thin line on her face, but she nods.
The next day, he sees the two girls chatting by their lockers. Rachel looks confused but happy, and Quinn looks shy. He is glad she is at least making some headway.
Days pass. Mike Chang dances and finally finds his voice with the help of Tina. He notices that Quinn no longer looks as sad as she used to, especially now that a certain brunette has taken to talking to her every chance that she gets. Everyone is completely baffled at this new development (or dare Mike say…New Direction?) in the girl's relationship. Everyone except Mike. He just continues to smile and wrap his arm lovingly around Tina.
One day Mike cannot find his cell phone anywhere. He is about to have a full blown panic attack (he had some really awesome dance videos on there, okay?), when he realizes that he has most likely left it in the auditorium. They had just been practicing a new routine for Sectionals, and he had probably left it on the seat he was sitting in.
As he approaches the auditorium, he hears music wafting from the doors. Not wanting to disturb whoever is within, but still curious enough to look, Mike slips silently in. He is sure to not let the door slam behind him. As he enters, Mike takes a seat in the shadowed area of the back row.
On stage are Quinn and Rachel.
Oh, and Brad on the piano of course.
Rachel is sitting on a stool in the middle of the stage, while Quinn looks on, breathing deeply in preparation of a song. Mike listens, already mesmerized. The blonde opens her mouth and begins.
I'm naked
I'm numb
I'm stupid
I'm staying
And if Cupid's got a gun, then he's shootin'
Mike sees Rachel's mouth open slightly. He notices that his jaw has dropped slightly as well. Quinn continues.
Lights black
Heads bang
You're my drug
We live it
You're drunk, you need it
Real love, I'll give it
Quinn is crying softly now, her eyes glittering in the light. Rachel is wiping her eyes in an attempt to stave off the imminent tears.
So we're bound to linger on
We drink the fatal drop
Then love until we bleed
Then fall apart in parts
The way the light is falling on Quinn makes her resemble an angel. It helps that she is wearing an outfit similar to the one she had donned in "Keep Holding On." Mike feels his heart ache for Rachel. Quinn continues and as the song flows towards its end.
Now we're bound to linger on
We drink the fatal drop
Then love until we bleed
Then fall apart in parts
Quinn sings the final verse, her voice carrying the last note. As she finishes, Brad nods, smiles, picks up his notes, and leaves. Mike thinks he should do the same, but finds that his legs don't seem to want him to miss this, whatever this is. He thinks it might be a defining point in the lives of two souls that are important to him.
By this point Rachel's hand is covering her mouth, and she is stifling sobs. Quinn is quiet for a few moments, her body language the epitome of serenity. She walks towards Rachel and places her hand on the brunette's cheek. She begins to speak softly, and Mike is surprised that he can hear what she is saying. He supposes it's god's way of letting him know that it's okay that he is here to witness this.
"I know the song is a little sad, but I thought…I thought it would get my feelings across." Quinn says.
Rachel rubs the tears from her eyes and looks up at Quinn. She smiles.
"I think I just might have gotten the message."
Rachel stands, her small, dark frame a foil to Quinn's tall, light one. They gaze at one another for a moment, as if sizing one another up. Mike realizes that they used to do this back when they were competing for Finn's attention. He smiles at the irony.
"You know…if we do this, Quinn…everything is going to change."
Quinn blinks slowly and stretches a hand out. She wipes a stray tear away from Rachel's cheek.
"I know," she says. "I'm scared. But to be honest, I'm more scared of what will happen if I'm stupid enough to let someone else I love slip through my fingers. Once is enough."
Quinn smiles down at her, one of those beautiful yet haunting smiles that Mike associates only with her. She leans down slowly, ever so slowly, and lightly presses her lips on Rachel's. The diva's reaction is immediate. She presses herself against Quinn and slides her hands through Quinn's hair, pulling her all the closer.
Mike leaves.
He figures his phone can wait another day. It's not like anyone other than glee ever uses the auditorium. He heads to the locker room to change into his football gear, and when the other guys ask about his suspiciously teary eyes, he blames it on his allergies.
Mike Chang knows a lot of things.
He knows that Artie might still have some feelings for Tina, and that despite all of his shady behavior this year, Mr. Schuester means well. He knows that he and Brittany make awesome dance partners, and that if she weren't so invested in Santana and he weren't so into Tina, they could definitely have something going on. He knows that Quinn has a special smile that she reserves just for him, and that he has played a pivotal role in Rachel's life (though she'll never know).
There is one thing Mike Chang will never know or understand: That is, how two individuals like Rachel Berry and Quinn Fabray can come together in the way that they have, how after years of abuse and antagonizing one another, they can just put all of that behind them. You could even say that Mike Chang is completely baffled.
But then, he sees the looks they share, the soft kisses when they think that no one else is around. He sees how Quinn can placate Rachel with a single glance or brush of the hand and how sometimes when the other glee kids are zoning out, Rachel makes silly faces at Quinn to try and make her laugh.
He sees all of these things, and Mike Chang has to admit: there are some things he is better off not knowing after all.
Song is "Until We Bleed" by Andreas Kleerup and Lykke Li. I didn't use the whole song, just the beginning and end to help with the pacing.
Thoughts?
Does anyone love Mike as much as I do?