'Dammit…dammit, dammit, dammit, dammit!' She
thought angrily to herself as she stalked about the
room.
Her face twisted into a scowl as she took long,
meaningful strides reminiscent of a tigress.
'He doesn't notice when I wear makeup…he doesn't
notice when I open my shirt too much…he doesn't
notice when I bend over right in front of his desk.'
She stopped to look into her mirror.
'Am I really just his mission?'
She reached up and ran her hand along her collar
bone down to her breast.
'Am I pretty enough?'
Without hesitation, she stripped her uniform shirt and
skirt off. They were soon followed by her underwear.
She stood in front of the glass, hugging herself to
keep warm against the cold air in the apartment.
Her sad, misty eyes peeked out from under her bangs
at the doppelganger reflected back at her.
Through subjecting herself to even more scrutiny, she
walked to the bathroom and started a shower, hoping
it would relieve some tension.
As the hot water filled the small room with steam, she
sat on the plastic stool and sighed. The frustration
combined with the thick air forced the girl to take long,
deep breaths. Her mind went hazy as she fought for
each lungful. There was a burning somewhere in her
centre that was slowly turning to desire.
'Does he think of me the way I think of him?'
...
'Could he think of me the way I think of him?'
With some effort, she crawled into the bath and
rested against the side with a cool rag on her
forehead.
Now, surrounded by the hot water, her urge only
grew. Her breathing became even more laboured and
each gasp for air was becoming faster and shallower.
'Why do I think of him like this at all? That clueless…
thoughtless…that insensitive…'
The adjectives trailed off without resolving to a
modified noun.
The bath did little to calm her and everything to excite
her.
She dried and then dropped the towel on the floor
with no desire to pick it up. The only thought the
young woman had now was to somehow ease her
aching mind.
Still debating her next move, she dressed for bed and
crawled into the cool sheets.
Sleep evaded her.
There was no room for anything else in her brain.
She needed to hear his voice.
That was all she needed.
Only to hear his voice.
He did not have to know what she was doing on the
other end.
All she had to do was pick up the phone and push the
button.
She had a direct line to his apartment.
It would connect her instantly, and he would pick up
before the first ring was over.
She pulled her left hand out from the opening in the
pajama shirt and reached for the cordless phone; her
right hand still furiously at work trying to keep the
feeling alive.
"Sousuke," she began in a whisper before he could
speak.
"Yes Chidori?" he replied in a serious tone. Any call
she made to him was considered of the utmost
importance.
"U-um…what are you doing right now?" her raspy
whisper continued.
"Nothing important. Do you need me?"
'Yes'
"No…no…I just…was wondering…what you were…
doing."
"I'm cleaning my pistol."
"I…I see…How do you do that?"
Silence.
"Chidori?"
"How do you clean your pistol Sousuke?"
"I…I start by taking the magazine from the gun."
"Your pistol."
"R-right...Then I pull back on the slide to remove the
round in the chamber."
"Okay."
She cradled the phone against her shoulder so her
left hand could go back into her pajama shirt.
"Then I remove the slide and barrel after making sure
it is completely unloaded."
"Mmm-hmm."
"Are you sure you're okay?"
"Fine…I'm fine…keep going please!"
"I run a wire brush through the barrel to remove
larger residue."
"Ooh…."
"Then I run a few cotton patches that are coated with
a solvent in and out."
"In and out."
"And then a few that are coated with a lubricant-"
"OH GOD, YES!"
"CHIDORI!"
"I'm fine! I'm fine! Keep going Sousuke. PLEASE KEEP GOING!"
"Do I need to come over Chidori? I'll come."
"OH!"
"I will…I'll come."
"Mmm."
"I'll come if you need me to."
*hiss.*
"I'll come for you."
"Uuhn."
"I'll come Chidori!"
"Mmmh."
"Do you want me to come?"
*whimper*
"That's it…I'm coming now!"
"AUGH!"
"I'm coming!"
"OH MY GAAAHHHD!"
She fell back against her pillow, unable to breathe.
Tiny stars danced inside her eyelids.
His muffled voice could still be heard coming from the
earpiece.
She lifted the phone to her ear slowly while composing
herself.
"I'm fine…thank you…you don't need to…to…to come…
thank you so much."
She ended the call quickly and dropped the phone.
Lazily, she pulled her soaked right hand out from her
pajama pants and looked at it.
...
It curled into a fist.
'Dammit.'