"Roxas, I think we should just stay friends."
I looked at Axel unbelievingly.
"W-what?" "I just want to be friends."
My mind couldn't register those words. Not together, in a sentence. Not really meaning...this. It couldn't.
It just couldn't.
"Okay." I only managed that word. Anything else would make me burst into tears.
I hung my head, and heard the steps of the only person I had ever truly loved walk away.
Once I was completely sure that Axel was out of earshot, I put one foot in front of the other.
All I wanted to do was go home. Soon, I felt wet drops on my head and cheeks. The rain slowly grew and grew, until it felt like there was a ountain of never-ending water dumping on my head. My footsteps grew faster in pace along with the rain,
until I was running. I couldn't tell if the drops on my face were my tears, or the rain. Maybe it was both.
I reached my house, and I fumbled for the key that was in my pocket. "Dammit, dammit where did I put -"
My fingers met a cold, metal surface, and I pulled out the key. I jammed it into the lock, and pushed open the door. Pulling out the key from the lock, I slammed the door shut. That was when I broke.
I slided against the door, until I was sitting on the floor. My elbows rested on my knees, and my hands were covering my eyes. Sobs escaped me, shaking my whole body. I cried harder than I ever had, salty tears resting on my lips.
It was over. Done. Just like that, it felt like the world had just plummeted into darkness. A big black hole was now carved into my soul, deep and hopeless. And I could've sworn that there were little red pieces of my heart in it, too.
It was stupid to feel like this. Childish. Dumb. But I couldn't help feeling like this. Axel had been my first everything. First relationship, First date, First kiss. Hell, I had even lost my virginity to him. We had been inseparable. Closer than anything. So just...having him taken away was like my own personal Hell.
I probably sat like that for a while. Just reminiscing about Axel and I. Wondering what I had done to make him walk away, what I could do to get him back. But, of course, they were both dead ends.
+++ Demyx found me like that the next day. He usually comes around the afternoons, just to hang out and talk.
He says he doesn't have anything to do, other than hang out with his Boyfriend Zexion. But Zexion works afternoons, and spends time at the Library. Demyx often joked how he was gonna get sucked into one,
and stay there forever.
"Roxas? Roxas!" I heard Demyx's frantic voice down the hallway. 'Why the hell did I give him a key?'
I thought bitterly. He came around the corner, face scrunched up worried-like, and the case with his Sitar in it in his right hand. He put his Sitar case down, and sat on his knees next to me. "What happened?" He asked quietly. I refused to answer, my head hanging. Demyx just stood up, and grabbed my wrist. He stood me up,
and walked me to the couch in my living room. He sat me down, and went to grab his Sitar case. When he came back, his Sitar was out, and he sat beside me. He strummed a few tunes absent-mindedly.
He played a few short songs, and it calmed me down. Demyx just had this way with the Sitar. Quickly,
an image of him using it as some kind of weapon popped up in my head. I mentally chuckled.
Breaking the silence, I said, "Axel." Demyx just nodded and said, "Yeah, I kind of guessed. Nothing could mess you up this bad unless it had to do with him." He didn't know how right he was. "I just can't believe...
I mean, we've..." Demyx put a hand on my shoulder. "Yeah, dude. I know."
"Do you want me to talk to him?" He asked. I shook my head. "Naw, don't do that." I didn't want to be mean to Demyx. I mean, he was like a freaking puppy. It was just that sometimes; some things should never be said or done. "Okay. Hey, wanna hear this song I wrote?" And for the rest of the day, into the evening,
Demyx spent his time cheering me up.
+++ The next week and a half were the hardest of my life, to say the least. I spent most of my time cleaning up my house, getting all the things that reminded me of Axel in a closet. I didn't want any painful memories to creep their way into my head.
I spent the next part of my time with others. Demyx, Zexion (Although I tried to avoid when they got all romantic), Sora, Riku, Namine and Kairi. Of course, they were all pretty close with Axel, but they were kind enough to not talk about him. But throughout all the things that they and I did to cheer myself up, it always felt like there was some part that was missing.
One day, Riku and Sora and I were hanging out at the beach. We sat at some tiki-themed bar right across the street from the sand, surf, and sunshine. Riku and Sora were arguing about whether American Idol or America's Got Talent was better.
"But America's Got Talent has more...well...talent! There's more to choose from!" Exclaimed Sora. "Yeah,
but American Idol has better singers. Most of the singers on America's Got Talent suck, anyway."
"Nuh-uh!"
"Uh, yeah huh."
"Nuh-UH."
"Yeah h-" I slid out of my chair, suddenly wanting some peace and quiet. "I'm gonna go to the bathroom."
I got an "Okay." in unison, and then they were back to their bickering. Reminded me of old ladies. I walked out of the bar, and into the street. I slipped my hands into my pockets, keeping my head down.
I could hear the honking of car horns, the crash of the ocean, and the chatter of people. Suddenly,
everything reminded me of him. My breathing got heavier, until I was gasping for breath. I turned into an alleyway, and slumped against the wall. Erasing Axel from my life like this wasn't as easy or as hard as I had imagined it to be. I put my hands on the sides of my skull, attempting to push back the memories and feelings rushing through me. I could feel his presence no, essence - all around me. It enveloped me,
threatening to choke me. I couldn't help but let one painful thought come to mind, 'I miss you.'
Once my breathing was back to normal, and I was sure I wouldn't have an emotional breakdown,
I straightened up, and turned back into the street. I hadn't even taken two steps when I crashed into something. I stumbled to the ground, "Oh, jeez, I'm sorry." I got up, and met the green eyes of Axel.
I froze, an ice-cold feeling spread through my being, starting at the core. I whipped around to walk the other way, but his voice stopped me, "Hey, wait." I turned around, staring at the ground, a building, at anything but him. "What?" I replied cautiously. "I said 'be friends', not 'avoid each other'." I scowled, a bunch of smart retorts rising up in my throat. "Don't give me that bull, Axel. When someone says 'Just be friends' they don't exactly mean that they're gonna be all freaking buddy-buddy, and pretend that the other person didn't fucking break their heart." That was when I looked at him directly, defiantly.
It surprised me when I saw a flicker of regret in his eyes. Or was it hurt? But then he was back to his old,
fiery self. "Well, jeez, I'm sorry that you're taking this so hard. I thought you would get over something like this already, Roxas. But I guess I was wrong." I bunched up my hands into fists. "Well, glad to know that I'm the only one suffering!" And with that, I ran away from him. I wasn't going to cry this time. The encounter with Axel had reopened wounds, and it hurt like hell. It also reminded me that he didn't care. Not about me, not about everything that we used to be. But I did, and it just about killed me every day.
+++ I got back to the bar, and eventually found Riku and Sora chatting up a couple of girls. I let them know I was going to go home, and they reluctantly let me go. After waving a taxi and walking in the front door of my house, I was just about ready to pass out. I tripped over something in the living room, however, and looked down to find Demyx's Sitar case on the floor. I quickly looked inside, and it had the Sitar in it.
I sighed heavily. He must've left it here again. I pulled out my cell phone and called him, sitting down on the couch as I did. He picked up the phone, and frantically said, "Hey Roxas. I can't talk right now;
I'm looking for my Sitar." I chuckled "You left it here again, Dude. Come and get it." I heard a relieved sigh,
and he said, "I'll be right over!" The phone clicked off.
+++ "Hey, thanks for calling me about it." Said Demyx for the third time. "No problem. I know how much it means to you." He smiled, and turned around to go out the door. I think we both just about had a heart attack when we saw Marluxia right by the door. He never goes to anybody's house, ever. So seeing him at my front door was weird. "So, uh, see ya." Said Demyx, and hurried down the front steps. Marluxia walked right in, and I caught a whiff of flowers. I closed the door, and followed him to the living room. He sat down, and I did the same across from him. "So, can I ask why you're visiting my house like this?" I asked awkwardly. "I suppose you are aware of Axel's current group of company." I looked at him, my eyes narrowing. "Yeah, Demyx and Riku and-" He interrupted me, "So I guess you don't know.
I'll get straight to the point, then. Axel has been working with gangs." My eyes widened, and a dull pain exploded into my chest. Gangs? Axel? He wouldn't do that. He had told me plenty of times before that he hated gangs with a passion. "How do you know this?" I asked. "Oh, I have my sources. And I also know that Axel recently broke up with you, but that's beside the subject. Do you know any reasons why he might be interacting with gangs?" I wracked every possibility through my head, but none of them made sense.
"No, I can't." He knitted his eyebrows together, seeming to think very hard. After a few seconds, he said,
"I guess I have no other choice. Thank you for your time." He got up, and made his way to the door. He was down the sidewalk when I caught up to him."Hey, wait a minute! What are you going to do?" He stared at me, obviously viewing me as annoying that moment. "I'm going to go to the gang headquarters, and get Axel. Along with a few pieces of vital information. This gang is known for robberies, murders, and other crimes. I'm a cop, and it's my job to bring them to justice." My mouth opened into a little O. But I quickly regained my composure. "I'm coming." Before Marluxia could protest, I said, "Look, Axel was - is the most important person to me. It doesn't matter if we're dating or not, I still care about him. I'm going to go, and help get him out of this. Don't try and stop me, I'll find a way to go anyways." He stared at me for a good three minutes, contemplating the pros and cons of letting me go. Finally he said,
"Fine, you can go. But stay hidden, and learn how to handle a gun."
+++ We sat across the street, in a dark colored van. I held my gun awkwardly, pointing it at the floor.
We were waiting for the signal from another police man to go inside. I had directions to go through the vents, considering I was small enough. I had to go to and try to find Axel's whereabouts, and radio it to Marluxia. He then would rush to his location, grab him, and get out. Other policemen were to look for the leader of the gang, and arrest him. Marluxia had hounded me on how dangerous this was going to be, how I had absolutely no experience in a situation like this, and how I was most likely going to get hurt. Possibly die. I just brushed him off, but now I was feeling nervous. What if something went wrong?
The signal came then, and we all quietly climbed out of the van. I thought how we should have surrounded the place, with the caution tape and the whole, 'Come out with your hands up.' But I didn't say anything.
I quickly went to the side of the building, looking for some kind of vent opening. I saw one, and climbed on a dumpster. I took out a screwdriver, twisted the knobs open, and removed the top. I set it on the dumpster,
and climbed in. I crawled around corners quickly, looking through vent shafts for Axel. I had no luck again and again, only dark and empty rooms. I quickly heard commotion and a couple gunshots, and started panicking. I really was going to die. I was never going to see Axel smile again, all because I was stupid enough to force Marluxia to let me come. A few tears dropped from my eyes, but I wiped them away.
Now was not the time to start crying. I had to find Axel. I had to.
I started moving forward again, and soon came to a room with light filtering through the vents.
I peeked over the edge, and bit my lip to keep from crying out. Axel was backed up against a wall, a couple cuts on his arms and bruises on his face. He was sweaty and panting, eyes full of fright staring at someone across the room. I shot my eyes at the person that had Axel in this state, revenge an option in my mind. I was surprised to see a girl there, with blonde hair with two things that looked like antennae sticking up. She was pointing a gun at Axel, her face was blank. " what happens when you betray us.
You should have just left that blonde man-whore a long time ago. Then we wouldn't be in this situation.
You should have listened, Axel. You should have " Her finger began to pull back of the trigger, but that was when I forced the vent opening down, and jumped down. They both just stared at me. I took advantage of their hesitance to react and jumped at the girl. I knocked the gun out of her hands, and pinned her down.
I got a punch in before she pushed me off. We fought, punching and kicking, and eventually I faltered.
She had me against the wall, and she pulled a knife out of her pocket. I struggled with all of the strength that I had left, but I couldn't get away. She put the knife to my throat and said, "I don't know who the fuck you are, but you better be sorry that you ever took on me." I closed my eyes, and I swear I saw my life flash before my eyes. All I heard was a, "Stop." I opened my eyes, and Axel was holding the gun to her head.
"If you kill him, I'll shoot you." Her eyes flicked back and forth between Axel and I, and she backed away. He continued to point the gun at her, placing himself protectively in front of me. "Go. Now." He hissed.
"No way in hell." I hissed back. He sighed, and turned a little to look at me. Our eyes locked, and for a second,
we were in our own little world. Together again, just like we used to be. His eyes pleaded with me,
my eyes pleaded with his. It was an argument that neither of us would win.
I was about to say something like, "Axel, please." When his face froze. I searched his expression,
looking for what could be wrong, when a trickle of blood came from his mouth. He crumpled to the ground,
and I saw the knife protruding from his back. The woman looked at me proudly, but her eyes held hunger and murder. She knelt down and grabbed the gun, to point it at my chest. Where my heart would be.
Oh, god. I was going to die. Right now, next to Axel. Oh god, I should have said sorry when we saw each other at the beach. We might have been at his house, watching T.V or kissing or something. We might have been in bed, at the theater, anywhere but here. And all I could do was stand there like a deer caught in headlights, waiting to die.
The last thing I saw was Axel's blood before I blacked out.
+++ I groggily woke up, everything blurry. My body felt like it was being weighed down by bricks. "Hey, he's up." A voice said. Someone's hand prodded my shoulder. "Ugh, 5 more minutes." I grumbled,
stuffing my head under the blanket with a 'moosh' sound. "Roxas, wake up." I slowly sat up, wondering who would be bothering me when I obviously was tired.
I rubbed the sleep out of my eyes, and blinked my eyes open. There stood Marluxia and Demyx. "Roxas!
Marluxia told me what happened, and I freaked out. So I told Zexion and the others, and we rushed here,
but they wouldn't let us in to see you, so we waited and by the time they let us see you I was the only one that had stayed. The others left because they got tired, and oh I should call them." Demyx then flipped out his cell phone, quickly dialed a number, and chattered quickly. I looked at Marluxia, but he just shrugged.
"What happened anyways?" I asked. The only thing I could remember was blood, and some blonde chick.
And Axel .Axel! "Where's Axel? Is he okay?" Marluxia put a hand on my shoulder. "Calm down, Roxas.
We found you guys just in the nick of time. We got that blonde girl apparently her name is Larxene before she shot you. She did get a kick into your side, but you're fine now. Axel they took him to the ER.
He's in recovery." I let out a sigh of relief. Axel was okay but now, I needed answers. "Can I go see him?"
I asked anxiously. "No, not yet. We want to wait a few days." He saw my disappointed expression, and he said, "Don't worry, before you know it, you'll be able to see him."
So I waited. It seemed like I was asking Marluxia 24/7 if I could go see him, and every time he would reply,
"No." So I slept, ate, thought, and asked until I was just about ready to explode. One day I was flicking through channels, trying to find something interesting to watch, when Marluxia walked in. Before I opened my mouth he said, "You can go see him." I bolted out of bed and down the hallway before he could say anything else. I turned a corner, and another corner, until I came to Axel's room. I put my hand on the doorknob, but I hesitated. What if he wasn't happy to see me? What if we just fought again?
I took a deep breath, and opened the door.
He lay in a bed, chest bandaged and eyes closed. Someone had hooked up an IV, and it dripped silently.
There were also flowers with a 'Get Well!' balloon.
I closed the door, and sat in a chair by the bed. Minutes passed, and there was nothing. Then suddenly he said, "I'm not sleeping." "Yeah, I know."
More minutes passed. Finally I couldn't take it. "Axel, I I want answers." He sighed. "Ask away."
"Why why did you break up with me?" I got that feeling from that day again, and I shuddered.
"It's complicated." "That's not an answer, Axel." He sighed again. "Because I didn't want you to get hurt.
If we had stayed together Larxene would have killed you." My hands clenched into fists. I realized how close I had come to death, and how I had been saved by Axel.
"Why? Why was she going to kill me?" I asked. "She was jealous. She loved me, but I didn't love her."
I shuddered. "Why were you messing with gangs anyways?" It felt like an accusation. "She forced me to.
She wanted me that bad, complete with threats and alcohol." I couldn't help but chuckle. There were many ways to seduce Axel, but one of them was not alcohol. Sure, he liked to get drunk every once and awhile,
but drinking wasn't the way to his heart.
"Is that all?" He asked quietly. "No." I replied. I couldn't ask this eye to eye, so I sat on the floor, and put my head on the edge of the bed. "Do you still love me?" I murmured.
"Yes." It was barely a whisper. I sighed, and suddenly I was blurting out everything. "I-I thought that you were going to die I couldn't bear the thought of you being dead and then that first couple weeks without you were unbearable. I never thought that I could experience pain like that." I was crying silent tears, and my body shook a little bit.
"Oh, Roxas." Axel murmured. "I'm so sorry. I honestly didn't think that you would be all that hurt."
If I wasn't crying, then I would've shouted at him. "But I was wrong. So, so wrong. Could you forgive me?"
I looked up, to see that he was crying silently. No sobbing, just tears falling from his eyes. "I already have."
I said. I stood up, and leaned down to kiss him. Our first kiss in a long time, and no way our last.
I looked at Axel unbelievingly.
"W-what?" "I just want to be friends."
My mind couldn't register those words. Not together, in a sentence. Not really meaning...this. It couldn't.
It just couldn't.
"Okay." I only managed that word. Anything else would make me burst into tears.
I hung my head, and heard the steps of the only person I had ever truly loved walk away.
Once I was completely sure that Axel was out of earshot, I put one foot in front of the other.
All I wanted to do was go home. Soon, I felt wet drops on my head and cheeks. The rain slowly grew and grew, until it felt like there was a ountain of never-ending water dumping on my head. My footsteps grew faster in pace along with the rain,
until I was running. I couldn't tell if the drops on my face were my tears, or the rain. Maybe it was both.
I reached my house, and I fumbled for the key that was in my pocket. "Dammit, dammit where did I put -"
My fingers met a cold, metal surface, and I pulled out the key. I jammed it into the lock, and pushed open the door. Pulling out the key from the lock, I slammed the door shut. That was when I broke.
I slided against the door, until I was sitting on the floor. My elbows rested on my knees, and my hands were covering my eyes. Sobs escaped me, shaking my whole body. I cried harder than I ever had, salty tears resting on my lips.
It was over. Done. Just like that, it felt like the world had just plummeted into darkness. A big black hole was now carved into my soul, deep and hopeless. And I could've sworn that there were little red pieces of my heart in it, too.
It was stupid to feel like this. Childish. Dumb. But I couldn't help feeling like this. Axel had been my first everything. First relationship, First date, First kiss. Hell, I had even lost my virginity to him. We had been inseparable. Closer than anything. So just...having him taken away was like my own personal Hell.
I probably sat like that for a while. Just reminiscing about Axel and I. Wondering what I had done to make him walk away, what I could do to get him back. But, of course, they were both dead ends.
+++ Demyx found me like that the next day. He usually comes around the afternoons, just to hang out and talk.
He says he doesn't have anything to do, other than hang out with his Boyfriend Zexion. But Zexion works afternoons, and spends time at the Library. Demyx often joked how he was gonna get sucked into one,
and stay there forever.
"Roxas? Roxas!" I heard Demyx's frantic voice down the hallway. 'Why the hell did I give him a key?'
I thought bitterly. He came around the corner, face scrunched up worried-like, and the case with his Sitar in it in his right hand. He put his Sitar case down, and sat on his knees next to me. "What happened?" He asked quietly. I refused to answer, my head hanging. Demyx just stood up, and grabbed my wrist. He stood me up,
and walked me to the couch in my living room. He sat me down, and went to grab his Sitar case. When he came back, his Sitar was out, and he sat beside me. He strummed a few tunes absent-mindedly.
He played a few short songs, and it calmed me down. Demyx just had this way with the Sitar. Quickly,
an image of him using it as some kind of weapon popped up in my head. I mentally chuckled.
Breaking the silence, I said, "Axel." Demyx just nodded and said, "Yeah, I kind of guessed. Nothing could mess you up this bad unless it had to do with him." He didn't know how right he was. "I just can't believe...
I mean, we've..." Demyx put a hand on my shoulder. "Yeah, dude. I know."
"Do you want me to talk to him?" He asked. I shook my head. "Naw, don't do that." I didn't want to be mean to Demyx. I mean, he was like a freaking puppy. It was just that sometimes; some things should never be said or done. "Okay. Hey, wanna hear this song I wrote?" And for the rest of the day, into the evening,
Demyx spent his time cheering me up.
+++ The next week and a half were the hardest of my life, to say the least. I spent most of my time cleaning up my house, getting all the things that reminded me of Axel in a closet. I didn't want any painful memories to creep their way into my head.
I spent the next part of my time with others. Demyx, Zexion (Although I tried to avoid when they got all romantic), Sora, Riku, Namine and Kairi. Of course, they were all pretty close with Axel, but they were kind enough to not talk about him. But throughout all the things that they and I did to cheer myself up, it always felt like there was some part that was missing.
One day, Riku and Sora and I were hanging out at the beach. We sat at some tiki-themed bar right across the street from the sand, surf, and sunshine. Riku and Sora were arguing about whether American Idol or America's Got Talent was better.
"But America's Got Talent has more...well...talent! There's more to choose from!" Exclaimed Sora. "Yeah,
but American Idol has better singers. Most of the singers on America's Got Talent suck, anyway."
"Nuh-uh!"
"Uh, yeah huh."
"Nuh-UH."
"Yeah h-" I slid out of my chair, suddenly wanting some peace and quiet. "I'm gonna go to the bathroom."
I got an "Okay." in unison, and then they were back to their bickering. Reminded me of old ladies. I walked out of the bar, and into the street. I slipped my hands into my pockets, keeping my head down.
I could hear the honking of car horns, the crash of the ocean, and the chatter of people. Suddenly,
everything reminded me of him. My breathing got heavier, until I was gasping for breath. I turned into an alleyway, and slumped against the wall. Erasing Axel from my life like this wasn't as easy or as hard as I had imagined it to be. I put my hands on the sides of my skull, attempting to push back the memories and feelings rushing through me. I could feel his presence no, essence - all around me. It enveloped me,
threatening to choke me. I couldn't help but let one painful thought come to mind, 'I miss you.'
Once my breathing was back to normal, and I was sure I wouldn't have an emotional breakdown,
I straightened up, and turned back into the street. I hadn't even taken two steps when I crashed into something. I stumbled to the ground, "Oh, jeez, I'm sorry." I got up, and met the green eyes of Axel.
I froze, an ice-cold feeling spread through my being, starting at the core. I whipped around to walk the other way, but his voice stopped me, "Hey, wait." I turned around, staring at the ground, a building, at anything but him. "What?" I replied cautiously. "I said 'be friends', not 'avoid each other'." I scowled, a bunch of smart retorts rising up in my throat. "Don't give me that bull, Axel. When someone says 'Just be friends' they don't exactly mean that they're gonna be all freaking buddy-buddy, and pretend that the other person didn't fucking break their heart." That was when I looked at him directly, defiantly.
It surprised me when I saw a flicker of regret in his eyes. Or was it hurt? But then he was back to his old,
fiery self. "Well, jeez, I'm sorry that you're taking this so hard. I thought you would get over something like this already, Roxas. But I guess I was wrong." I bunched up my hands into fists. "Well, glad to know that I'm the only one suffering!" And with that, I ran away from him. I wasn't going to cry this time. The encounter with Axel had reopened wounds, and it hurt like hell. It also reminded me that he didn't care. Not about me, not about everything that we used to be. But I did, and it just about killed me every day.
+++ I got back to the bar, and eventually found Riku and Sora chatting up a couple of girls. I let them know I was going to go home, and they reluctantly let me go. After waving a taxi and walking in the front door of my house, I was just about ready to pass out. I tripped over something in the living room, however, and looked down to find Demyx's Sitar case on the floor. I quickly looked inside, and it had the Sitar in it.
I sighed heavily. He must've left it here again. I pulled out my cell phone and called him, sitting down on the couch as I did. He picked up the phone, and frantically said, "Hey Roxas. I can't talk right now;
I'm looking for my Sitar." I chuckled "You left it here again, Dude. Come and get it." I heard a relieved sigh,
and he said, "I'll be right over!" The phone clicked off.
+++ "Hey, thanks for calling me about it." Said Demyx for the third time. "No problem. I know how much it means to you." He smiled, and turned around to go out the door. I think we both just about had a heart attack when we saw Marluxia right by the door. He never goes to anybody's house, ever. So seeing him at my front door was weird. "So, uh, see ya." Said Demyx, and hurried down the front steps. Marluxia walked right in, and I caught a whiff of flowers. I closed the door, and followed him to the living room. He sat down, and I did the same across from him. "So, can I ask why you're visiting my house like this?" I asked awkwardly. "I suppose you are aware of Axel's current group of company." I looked at him, my eyes narrowing. "Yeah, Demyx and Riku and-" He interrupted me, "So I guess you don't know.
I'll get straight to the point, then. Axel has been working with gangs." My eyes widened, and a dull pain exploded into my chest. Gangs? Axel? He wouldn't do that. He had told me plenty of times before that he hated gangs with a passion. "How do you know this?" I asked. "Oh, I have my sources. And I also know that Axel recently broke up with you, but that's beside the subject. Do you know any reasons why he might be interacting with gangs?" I wracked every possibility through my head, but none of them made sense.
"No, I can't." He knitted his eyebrows together, seeming to think very hard. After a few seconds, he said,
"I guess I have no other choice. Thank you for your time." He got up, and made his way to the door. He was down the sidewalk when I caught up to him."Hey, wait a minute! What are you going to do?" He stared at me, obviously viewing me as annoying that moment. "I'm going to go to the gang headquarters, and get Axel. Along with a few pieces of vital information. This gang is known for robberies, murders, and other crimes. I'm a cop, and it's my job to bring them to justice." My mouth opened into a little O. But I quickly regained my composure. "I'm coming." Before Marluxia could protest, I said, "Look, Axel was - is the most important person to me. It doesn't matter if we're dating or not, I still care about him. I'm going to go, and help get him out of this. Don't try and stop me, I'll find a way to go anyways." He stared at me for a good three minutes, contemplating the pros and cons of letting me go. Finally he said,
"Fine, you can go. But stay hidden, and learn how to handle a gun."
+++ We sat across the street, in a dark colored van. I held my gun awkwardly, pointing it at the floor.
We were waiting for the signal from another police man to go inside. I had directions to go through the vents, considering I was small enough. I had to go to and try to find Axel's whereabouts, and radio it to Marluxia. He then would rush to his location, grab him, and get out. Other policemen were to look for the leader of the gang, and arrest him. Marluxia had hounded me on how dangerous this was going to be, how I had absolutely no experience in a situation like this, and how I was most likely going to get hurt. Possibly die. I just brushed him off, but now I was feeling nervous. What if something went wrong?
The signal came then, and we all quietly climbed out of the van. I thought how we should have surrounded the place, with the caution tape and the whole, 'Come out with your hands up.' But I didn't say anything.
I quickly went to the side of the building, looking for some kind of vent opening. I saw one, and climbed on a dumpster. I took out a screwdriver, twisted the knobs open, and removed the top. I set it on the dumpster,
and climbed in. I crawled around corners quickly, looking through vent shafts for Axel. I had no luck again and again, only dark and empty rooms. I quickly heard commotion and a couple gunshots, and started panicking. I really was going to die. I was never going to see Axel smile again, all because I was stupid enough to force Marluxia to let me come. A few tears dropped from my eyes, but I wiped them away.
Now was not the time to start crying. I had to find Axel. I had to.
I started moving forward again, and soon came to a room with light filtering through the vents.
I peeked over the edge, and bit my lip to keep from crying out. Axel was backed up against a wall, a couple cuts on his arms and bruises on his face. He was sweaty and panting, eyes full of fright staring at someone across the room. I shot my eyes at the person that had Axel in this state, revenge an option in my mind. I was surprised to see a girl there, with blonde hair with two things that looked like antennae sticking up. She was pointing a gun at Axel, her face was blank. " what happens when you betray us.
You should have just left that blonde man-whore a long time ago. Then we wouldn't be in this situation.
You should have listened, Axel. You should have " Her finger began to pull back of the trigger, but that was when I forced the vent opening down, and jumped down. They both just stared at me. I took advantage of their hesitance to react and jumped at the girl. I knocked the gun out of her hands, and pinned her down.
I got a punch in before she pushed me off. We fought, punching and kicking, and eventually I faltered.
She had me against the wall, and she pulled a knife out of her pocket. I struggled with all of the strength that I had left, but I couldn't get away. She put the knife to my throat and said, "I don't know who the fuck you are, but you better be sorry that you ever took on me." I closed my eyes, and I swear I saw my life flash before my eyes. All I heard was a, "Stop." I opened my eyes, and Axel was holding the gun to her head.
"If you kill him, I'll shoot you." Her eyes flicked back and forth between Axel and I, and she backed away. He continued to point the gun at her, placing himself protectively in front of me. "Go. Now." He hissed.
"No way in hell." I hissed back. He sighed, and turned a little to look at me. Our eyes locked, and for a second,
we were in our own little world. Together again, just like we used to be. His eyes pleaded with me,
my eyes pleaded with his. It was an argument that neither of us would win.
I was about to say something like, "Axel, please." When his face froze. I searched his expression,
looking for what could be wrong, when a trickle of blood came from his mouth. He crumpled to the ground,
and I saw the knife protruding from his back. The woman looked at me proudly, but her eyes held hunger and murder. She knelt down and grabbed the gun, to point it at my chest. Where my heart would be.
Oh, god. I was going to die. Right now, next to Axel. Oh god, I should have said sorry when we saw each other at the beach. We might have been at his house, watching T.V or kissing or something. We might have been in bed, at the theater, anywhere but here. And all I could do was stand there like a deer caught in headlights, waiting to die.
The last thing I saw was Axel's blood before I blacked out.
+++ I groggily woke up, everything blurry. My body felt like it was being weighed down by bricks. "Hey, he's up." A voice said. Someone's hand prodded my shoulder. "Ugh, 5 more minutes." I grumbled,
stuffing my head under the blanket with a 'moosh' sound. "Roxas, wake up." I slowly sat up, wondering who would be bothering me when I obviously was tired.
I rubbed the sleep out of my eyes, and blinked my eyes open. There stood Marluxia and Demyx. "Roxas!
Marluxia told me what happened, and I freaked out. So I told Zexion and the others, and we rushed here,
but they wouldn't let us in to see you, so we waited and by the time they let us see you I was the only one that had stayed. The others left because they got tired, and oh I should call them." Demyx then flipped out his cell phone, quickly dialed a number, and chattered quickly. I looked at Marluxia, but he just shrugged.
"What happened anyways?" I asked. The only thing I could remember was blood, and some blonde chick.
And Axel .Axel! "Where's Axel? Is he okay?" Marluxia put a hand on my shoulder. "Calm down, Roxas.
We found you guys just in the nick of time. We got that blonde girl apparently her name is Larxene before she shot you. She did get a kick into your side, but you're fine now. Axel they took him to the ER.
He's in recovery." I let out a sigh of relief. Axel was okay but now, I needed answers. "Can I go see him?"
I asked anxiously. "No, not yet. We want to wait a few days." He saw my disappointed expression, and he said, "Don't worry, before you know it, you'll be able to see him."
So I waited. It seemed like I was asking Marluxia 24/7 if I could go see him, and every time he would reply,
"No." So I slept, ate, thought, and asked until I was just about ready to explode. One day I was flicking through channels, trying to find something interesting to watch, when Marluxia walked in. Before I opened my mouth he said, "You can go see him." I bolted out of bed and down the hallway before he could say anything else. I turned a corner, and another corner, until I came to Axel's room. I put my hand on the doorknob, but I hesitated. What if he wasn't happy to see me? What if we just fought again?
I took a deep breath, and opened the door.
He lay in a bed, chest bandaged and eyes closed. Someone had hooked up an IV, and it dripped silently.
There were also flowers with a 'Get Well!' balloon.
I closed the door, and sat in a chair by the bed. Minutes passed, and there was nothing. Then suddenly he said, "I'm not sleeping." "Yeah, I know."
More minutes passed. Finally I couldn't take it. "Axel, I I want answers." He sighed. "Ask away."
"Why why did you break up with me?" I got that feeling from that day again, and I shuddered.
"It's complicated." "That's not an answer, Axel." He sighed again. "Because I didn't want you to get hurt.
If we had stayed together Larxene would have killed you." My hands clenched into fists. I realized how close I had come to death, and how I had been saved by Axel.
"Why? Why was she going to kill me?" I asked. "She was jealous. She loved me, but I didn't love her."
I shuddered. "Why were you messing with gangs anyways?" It felt like an accusation. "She forced me to.
She wanted me that bad, complete with threats and alcohol." I couldn't help but chuckle. There were many ways to seduce Axel, but one of them was not alcohol. Sure, he liked to get drunk every once and awhile,
but drinking wasn't the way to his heart.
"Is that all?" He asked quietly. "No." I replied. I couldn't ask this eye to eye, so I sat on the floor, and put my head on the edge of the bed. "Do you still love me?" I murmured.
"Yes." It was barely a whisper. I sighed, and suddenly I was blurting out everything. "I-I thought that you were going to die I couldn't bear the thought of you being dead and then that first couple weeks without you were unbearable. I never thought that I could experience pain like that." I was crying silent tears, and my body shook a little bit.
"Oh, Roxas." Axel murmured. "I'm so sorry. I honestly didn't think that you would be all that hurt."
If I wasn't crying, then I would've shouted at him. "But I was wrong. So, so wrong. Could you forgive me?"
I looked up, to see that he was crying silently. No sobbing, just tears falling from his eyes. "I already have."
I said. I stood up, and leaned down to kiss him. Our first kiss in a long time, and no way our last.