Disclaimer:Anything you recognise, including characters, belong to their respective owners.This is a work of fiction and does not represent reality, please treat it as such.
I Hear Your Heart Beating So Loud
-x-
Unravel the mystery, so plain to me
'Cause nothing ever skips my beat like it does
I'm done with this history be
Just skip to my beat
Let's sit and then I hear your heart beating so loud
Jon and Renee were sitting in catering having a bite to eat before they went their separate ways to get ready for the show when she let out a small noise of pain.
"What's wrong?" he asked.
"My womb feels weird..."
"What do you mean?" he questioned. Renee could see him trying to keep the worry out of his tone but he was so much more transparent than he thought.
"I don't know...it just hurts"
"Are you...you know...on?" he asked, trying to be discreet. He was hilariously cute sometimes.
She gave him a little smile. "Don't worry, that's not for another week or so" she assured him. He was always grumpy when her time of the month came around, even though they rarely let it stop them enjoying themselves.
"What's wrong then?" he asked, a frown on his face that could only be described as adorable. She wouldn't tell him that though, or he'd deny it profusely.
She shrugged.
He looked far too concerned about her discomfort. It was only then that it clicked.
"I'm not pregnant Jon...if that's what you're worried about" she laughed.
"Well...you said your womb felt weird. What did you expect? I don't know enough about the female anatomy to think anything else..."
She reached across and ruffled his hair. "I'm on the pill, you know this"
"Joe told me it's not 100% effective" he argued.
"It's more than 99% effective, so relax" she assured him.
She grimaced in pain, shuffling in her seat.
"Do you need to see the doctor?" he asked.
She shook her head. "I'll be fine babe"
- x -
Halfway through the show and Jon was taping his wrists. He'd finished his promo and was preparing for his match, tagging with Joe, when he heard a shout from Cena.
"Ambrose, your woman wants to see you!"
"She'll kick your ass for calling her that John-boy" he chuckled. "Call her in, everyone's decent"
He watched as Renee entered the room, eyes covered with her hand. "Lady in the room, please cover your shame" she announced. Jon smiled. She was a sweetheart.
"Hey" he grinned when she reached him through the piles of sweaty ring gear and peered through the gaps in her fingers.
"Hey" she greeted with a sigh of relief. "Do you still have that Tylenol in your bag?"
"Yeah" he told her, rooting around in his suitcase and grabbing the nearly empty bottle. "You still feeling bad?"
She gave a short nod.
"I think you should see the doctor" he told her.
"It's just a dull ache, I'm okay. Let's not have this discussion here"
He sighed and let it go, taking the bottle back when she was done.
"Love you" she told him.
"Love you too" he said, resting a hand on her lower back as she reached up on her tip toes to press a quick peck to his lips.
As tiny a gesture as it was, it brought a round of wolf-whistles from all the guys in the locker room.
"Oh fuck off, all of you" Jon rolled his eyes as a blush coloured Renee's cheeks.
- x -
Just over a week later, Renee sat with Summer whilst the blonde retouched her make-up in the bathroom of the arena. Summer was chatting away about a new guy she was texting. Renee wanted to listen, she really did, but it was all going straight over her head today. Her mind was elsewhere.
"Nae...are you listening?"
"Yeah" Renee looked up at her friend. Big mistake.
"I know you're normally pale but this is a whole new level of white...are you feeling okay?"
"I'm fine" she tried.
Summer saw straight through that lie.
"Seriously. What's wrong? You're scaring me..."
Renee released a little breath and looked down at her hands, wringing them. "I'm scared..."
Summer frowned. "Scared? Of what?"
"...scared I might be pregnant..."
Summer's eyes were suddenly the size of plates.
The reaction didn't calm Renee at all and she leapt into defence mode, embarrassed she'd even admitted it to anyone.
"Don't say anything! I'm sure it's nothing...I'm just being paranoid"
Summer's expression softened.
"Why do you think that? Did you miss a pill?"
"No..." Renee shook her head.
"Then why?"
"My stomach was hurting last week and I didn't think anything of it at the time. But I'm late...and when I was complaining about my stomach Jon was talking about the pill not being 100% effective. I haven't been able to stop thinking about it since" Renee told her, speaking quickly in her panic.
"How late?" Summer asked.
"Only like...two days I think"
Summer released a breath. "Nae...two days is nothing. We're always flying all over different time zones, sometimes it messes with your body. It does with mine all the time"
"It's never happened before though..."
"We can go buy a test when we get out of here and show you that you're just being silly" Summer gave her a comforting hug.
"Okay" Renee agreed. "Can I stay with you tonight? Just in case?"
"Of course you can" her friend assured her. "Why though? Are you and Jon having problems?"
"Not at all...I just...I'm scared of how he'll react"
"Why? He's a lovely guy and he loves you to death"
"I just got the impression that he doesn't want kids. I don't want to scare him off..."
"I don't know him as well as you do, obviously. But me and you spent a lot of time with the boys when they were The Shield and I honestly don't think he's the kind of guy who'd run a mile if you were having his baby" Summer said, rubbing Renee's arm.
"I'm just scared"
"I know. I've been there. But it's probably a false alarm anyway. Try to forget about it for now and we'll go get a test after the show..."
- x -
Renee's hands were shaking as she dialled Jon's number. She had to draw on all of her acting skills or he'd know in less than thirty seconds that something was up.
"Hey sweetcheeks" he answered.
She tried to calm the nerves in her stomach at the sound of his voice but it was an incredibly difficult task.
"I'm just with Summer, she needs to talk to me about something...she asked me to stay with her tonight. I hope you don't mind?"
He was quiet for a moment and she worried that her lack of small talk had given the game away.
"Oh..." he sounded disappointed.
"I'm sorry Jon" she apologised. She felt so guilty for lying to him.
"That's okay...I'll see if Joe or Claudio want to go get some beers or something"
"Are you sure?" she asked, his tone making her feel even worse. Even though they spent nearly every moment of free time together, he still wanted to spend this evening with her and that made her heart ache.
"Yeah, you two have a girls night"
"I love you" she whispered, trying not to let the nerves seep into her tone.
"I love you too" he replied before hanging up.
With one last glance at her phone's background, her favourite photo of Jon asleep on the couch, she felt her conscience eating away at her.
"Do you think it's wrong not to tell him?" she asked Summer, chewing her lip.
"I don't know. If the test is positive then you absolutely have to tell him. But I kinda think this is something you should do together anyway. It's not that I don't want to do this with you; you know that I'm always here no matter what...but it's healthier for your relationship if you guys can talk to each other about this stuff. If you're scared, he should be the one there comforting you. It's not your fault so why shouldn't you be able to talk to him about it?"
"What if he freaks out?" Renee asked nervously.
"That's okay, you're freaking out too. But if you can't share something like this with him then is he really the man you want to be with?"
Renee sighed. "You're right"
- x -
Opening the door to their hotel room with her key card, Renee found Jon dancing around the room to one of his favourite country songs, shirt off and jeans hanging loose on his hips. So this is what he got up to whenever she was away.
He wasn't remotely embarrassed when she cleared her throat, his face lighting up with that cheeky grin, dimples and all.
"Forget something?" he asked, dropping a passionate kiss to her lips.
She shook her head. "I decided to spend the evening with you instead" she hooked her fingers in the soft hair at the nape of his neck, bringing him down for another kiss. "Unless you're going out"
"Nah, Joe's skyping with Joelle and Claudio has media in the morning"
"So you were just gonna dance around the room half-naked all night?" she asked, cupping his face in her hands and enjoying the feel of his stubble tickling her palms.
"Yup..." he smiled. "We can still do that if you want?" he asked, gripping the hem of her shirt and inching it up.
She flinched when his knuckles brushed her stomach, putting some distance between them.
He frowned. "What'd I do?"
She wiped her hands on her skirt, palms beginning to sweat.
"I kind of had an ulterior motive for ditching Summer..."
"Oh?" his brows furrowed.
"I need to talk to you about something"
He didn't reply, but she could see the cogs in his brain turning. For a second, the thought crossed her mind that he probably thought she was breaking up with him. He looked...afraid.
"Can we sit down?" Renee asked, moving onto the bed and sitting cross-legged.
If he looked apprehensive before, he looked like a rabbit in headlights now. After staring her down suspiciously for a few moments, he sat down on the edge of the bed.
She wanted to tell him he didn't have to be so worried...that she wasn't breaking up with him. But she couldn't lie, he probably did have reason to be worried, and maybe he'd be the one breaking up with her after this...
"You remember that conversation we had last week? About me not feeling so good?"
She noticed his demeanour change. First there was relief as he realised this 'talk' wasn't about her wanting to end their relationship. But that relief was short-lived when her words sunk in.
"Are you okay? You're not sick are you?" he asked.
She shook her head.
"Then what's going on?"
"I don't want you to freak out...because I don't know anything yet..."
He sat frozen to the spot, waiting for her to say what she needed to say.
"After you told me what Joe said...about the pill not being 100% effective...I've been paranoid. I still don't feel right...and...I'm late..."
The colour drained from his face. Renee didn't know what kind of reaction she was expecting, but this wasn't it. He sat, staring straight at her with an unreadable expression.
"I don't know yet, I'm probably just overreacting..." she rambled, internally berating herself for the tears that were filling her eyes. A lump formed in her throat, stopping her from speaking any more.
She closed her eyes, hoping that would stop them but a tear slipped down her cheek regardless. She didn't even feel the bed move, which is why his next action shocked her.
He crouched in front of where she sat and wrapped her up in his arms. She was so relieved at the gesture that she burst into tears for real this time, burying her face in the comfort of his neck. She prided herself on being strong, but this was too much and the way he made the first move to show her it was okay, that he was there for her...it meant the world.
She clung to him as he lifted her up and sat down on the bed himself, Renee cradled in his lap.
"Don't cry" he mumbled against her hair.
"Thank you"
"For what?" he pulled back to look at her face.
"Staying"
Jon used the back of his index finger to wipe her cheeks. "You don't have to thank me for that. As if you thought I'd ever leave"
He held her face in his hands, staring right into her eyes. "Stop crying now" he picked up a tissue from the bedside table. "Blow" he held it to her nose, laughing as she did as she was told. Even red eyed and sniffly-nosed, she was gorgeous.
"I..." she took a few deep breaths to regain her composure. "I thought you'd be mad"
"Why?"
"Because you don't want kids..."
His face softened. "When did I say that?"
"You were just so concerned when I wasn't feeling good" she whispered.
"Nae, I'm sorry if I made you think I'd freak out if you were pregnant. It's not that I don't want kids...it's not that. I just don't want any surprises, you know? I mean, if that's how it worked out then I guess we'd figure it out anyway. I just don't feel ready right now..."
He sensed her getting upset again and clarified. "I'm just saying that's why I was worried. That doesn't mean that if you are...you know...pregnant now, that we can't work it out. Because we can" he told her, convincing himself as much as her.
"We can?"
He nodded. "I love you, and as much as the idea of having a baby scares the shit out of me, I'm sure I can work this 'dad' thing out. If I managed to blag my way through a whole movie, I figure I can have a go at changing some diapers. I've always got Joe for advice..."
That set her off again.
"Oh Jesus, that was meant to stop the crying..."
"I'm crying because I love you" she mumbled, arms wrapped tightly around his neck. "You surprise me every day" she kissed him. "So few people get to know the real you. You're a beautiful person Jon Good"
He bit back a smile.
"I'm so lucky to have you" she told him.
He kissed her properly. "You're gonna give me a big ego"
"You deserve a big ego"
She climbed off his lap and went into the bathroom, taking off her smudged eye make-up.
"So what now?" he asked from the bed.
"We can wait for my period...or we can do a test"
"I'm not sure my nerves can handle waiting" he admitted.
"Me either" she sighed. "I need you to go buy a test"
"Me?!" he asked, horrified.
"Yes. Please Jon" she pleaded. "I can't go...what if someone takes a picture and puts it on twitter? What if my mom sees it?"
"I hardly blend in with the crowd..." he argued. "What if someone posts a photo and my sister sees it?" he balked.
"Your sister likes me. She'd be happy" she retaliated.
"You mom likes me" he tried to argue.
"Yeah she likes you, but I still don't think she'd want to find out about her first grandchild over the internet..."
"Jesus Christ" he gave in. Grabbing his coat and pulling the hood over his head, he put his sunglasses on and made himself as inconspicuous as possible.
"There's a store on the corner, it's only a minute or two away" she said, dumping some change into his hand.
"20 dollars?"
"These things are expensive" she told him, flustered.
"How do you know how expensive they are?" he narrowed his eyes.
"Well I can't speak for every girl but I've always had a sneaky glance at the pregnancy tests when I'm doing my grocery shopping, picturing the day I take one for the first time. I have to say, this is a lot more nauseating than I expected..."
"Oh...that's nice. The thought of carrying my baby nauseates you?"
She laughed, cupping his face again. "I don't mean that. I mean I'm nervous...about my career and the future. The thought of carrying your baby actually makes me really happy"
A wide smile broke across his face.
"Go..." she pecked his nose.
"Alright" he grumbled.
- x -
Renee had managed to calm herself down enough to start reading her book when the first text came through.
THERE'S LIKE FOUR HUNDRED FUCKING TYPES. HOW DO I KNOW WHICH ONE TO GET?
She laughed, imagining the panic as he frantically typed out a text to her.
Just get one that can detect it early
HOW DO I KNOW WHICH ONES DETECT EARLY?!
She sighed.
Clear Blue is the brand I think. It should say on it that it's accurate from a few days before you miss your period
WHY IS THERE AN OLD LADY STARING AT ME?!
Renee laughed.
She's probably thinking how cute you look all flustered. Now hurry up and buy one for Christ's sake Jon
DO WE NEED TWO? JUST IN CASE?
Renee finally lost her patience with his panicked shouty texts.
FOR FUCK'S SAKE JON JUST BUY A FUCKING TEST AND GET YOUR ASS BACK HERE
She sat, nervously wringing her hands until he returned. He tossed the bag onto the bed and three tests spilled out.
"Three?"
"I panicked. You owe me like another ten bucks"
"Well you put your dick in me so I think we can split the bill and call it even" she raised a brow.
He put his hands up in surrender. "I read them...it says it's most accurate first thing in the morning"
"Maybe we should wait until morning then..." she chewed on her lower lip. "If we do it now, all I'll be thinking is that it might be wrong"
"We'll wait then" he sighed.
Climbing into bed, Renee settled herself on Jon's chest, getting comfortable in her usual position.
While she normally dropped off within a few minutes, she just couldn't fall asleep tonight. It wasn't surprising really, not with all the nerves still floating around in her stomach. She knew he wasn't sleeping yet. It always took him ages to drift off.
"You wanna have sex?" she asked him outright.
He pursed his lips. "I wanna say yes" he smirked. "But this whole pregnancy thing is kind of freaking me out"
"We can use a condom if you want?" she suggested.
"But there might be a baby inside you...that's weird..."
"Okay, we'll give it a miss tonight" she laughed.
"You know I wouldn't normally turn down sex but my head isn't really in the game tonight"
"That's okay old man" she teased.
"Hey!" he frowned. "You're older than me!"
"Yeah but I have the baby soft skin of an eighteen year old" she wrinkled her nose at him.
"Of course you do. Go to sleep" he chuckled.
- x -
Renee awoke criminally early. She leaned over Jon, seeing that it was just after 5am. He was still snoring lightly so she slipped out of the bed and grabbed one of the tests. She sat down on the lid of the toilet and read through the instructions.
Just minutes later she stood, staring at herself in the mirror. She left the test on the counter, waiting anxiously for the results. Her reflection wasn't pretty; her eyes red from lack of sleep. As she leaned in to take a closer look, she saw Jon behind her.
He closed one eye against the glare of the bathroom light in the otherwise pitch black hotel room, standing there in nothing but a pair of loose boxer shorts. His hair was sticking up at all angles as he wandered into the bathroom.
"Did you pee on it yet?"
She shot him an unimpressed look.
"That's what you do right?"
"Yes Jon" she sighed. "We just have to wait now"
He came up behind her and put his hands on her hips. He smiled at the enormous size difference, obvious in their reflection, and dropped a kiss to the top of her head.
"Couldn't sleep?" he asked.
"Not well" she sighed. "You look tired. Go back to bed" she ran her thumb over the beginnings of dark circles under his eyes.
"I think I can stay awake for the few minutes it'll take to check the test" he watched her nervously chewing her thumb nail.
They waited in anxious silence until the alarm on Renee's phone signalled that their wait was over. She looked up at him, worry lines creasing her forehead.
"Whatever happens, its fine" he told her. She wrapped her arms around his waist, pressing her ear to his chest. His words comforted her but the pounding of his heart under her head told her that he was just as terrified as she was.
He leaned down to kiss her, neither of them minding the other's morning breath.
With a deep breath, Renee reached over and grabbed the test. Jon studied her face but it gave nothing away so he gave up and leaned over her shoulder to see for himself.
Not pregnant
He let that process for a moment. Their lack of immediate celebration confused them both.
"No baby huh?" he finally broke the silence.
"I guess not" she said, looking up at him with a little smile.
"All that worry for nothing" he kissed her forehead, pulling her back into the bedroom.
"Do you wanna have sex now?" she asked with a cheeky smile.
"Fuck yes"
She disappeared back into the bathroom to 'freshen up' and Jon made himself comfortable on the bed, stripping out of his boxers.
"Jon?" she called from the bathroom a little while later.
"Yeah?" he replied.
"Are you a little bit disappointed?"
He was caught off-guard by the question but answered it honestly.
"I guess I am in a way, but we've got years and years for all that stuff Nae. I wanna be around when we have a kid, not on the road all the time"
"You're right" she agreed.
"Are you disappointed?" he fired the question back.
"I can't believe I'm saying this when yesterday the thought made me sick with worry but...yeah. This whole thing has made me kinda broody" she laughed. "But you're right, we can wait. You'll just have to put up with me cooing over babies for the next five years"
He groaned.
A few minutes later and he was getting antsy. "Renee! What are you doing in there? I'm lying here naked and waiting!"
She emerged looking sheepish.
"I have some bad news...I just got my period..."
He threw his head back into the pillows. "Someone up there hates me"
- x –
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