Darkness.
That was all that there was.
Darkness.
Matthew couldn't die; if he could he would have a long time ago.
Being a country did that to a person.
He shouldn't feel this way though.
His country was strong, the economy was good, he wasn't at war and his people were alive, active and healthy.
No it was something different.
Not one person seemed to be able to recognize him.
No one knew his name.
No one knew he existed.
Matthew would go through his days, a smile on his face, like nothing could ever have been wrong.
His bear, Kumajiro, didn't even know him.
It's not like anyone noticed him anyway.
No one would have noticed if he came to the meetings with tear stained cheeks or bandages on his wrists.
But he still did.
Matthew did everything he had to not because he wanted to but because he had to.
He has done this for so long that he doesn't know what else to do.
Matthew waits though.
Waits for the day that will probably never come.
Waits for the day when someone can see him.
For the day someone will bother to acknowledge him.
He holds on to this hope.
It's not like he has anything else to hang onto.
But hope is paralyzing.
Matthew still wished to die.
Still wishes to be recognized.
Still wishes to get out of the darkness.
Two of those things are never going to happen though.
Matthew won't be recognized.
And Matthew can't die.