This is a response to a fan fic challenge over on the Spinmax board Opposite Attraction. It is also potential proof of my impending insanity. We were supposed to use one of AFI's top 100 movie quotes as our theme. I chose the infamous quote from Scarface. If you are easily offended, do us all a favor and give this one a pass, m'kay?

The old man sat on a beat up couch,crouched over the faded chassis of a very old laptop. The computer had been modified and redesigned so many times over the years that it was hardly recognizable as the same trusty tool and companion that he had first depended on so many decades ago. Three-dimensional images in brighter-than-life colors were projected into the air above the aged device, and the old man scrutinized the images and their contents as he mumbled commands to the device to bring certain contents forward or to follow the data stream on to other points of interest.

Suddenly a red flashing sign appeared with the three dimensional image at it's center of a blonde girl with long hair and bangs that fell partway into her eyes, and her mouth a large frozen "o" of surprise. The old man chuckled.

"Well, well, LuLu… what little fish has gotten trapped in the Jackal's security net this fine eve?"

At the old man's prompt, the warning graphic vanished and was replaced by the projection of two children's faces, a girl and a boy, both with mirror image looks of chagrin.

"What foolish mortals have challenged the unbeatable cyber-prowess of the Grey Jackal?" The old man demanded in an amused singsong tone.

The projections sighed.

"Ancient One, you know who it is!" The boy spoke and thanks to the state of the art audio system in the penthouse, it sounded like he was there in the room. "It is I, Jackal 3.0," he said with a sigh, obviously giving in and playing along with his grandfather, "and my bratty and unnecessary sister the Attention Seeker, also known as Georgie"

"Hey, shut up!" Warned the young girl's image with an angry frown.

The old man smacked his lips in a self-satisfied way.

"The GreyJackal thought that it was the fumbling intrusions of his cyber-challenged descendants that he detected, but he wasn't entirely certain because his old eyes aren't as sharp as they were once upon a time! Too many years spent in my youth laboring in front of meager twelve inch lcd screens!"

"Oh god, here he goes," complained the girl's image to her brother. "We have already heard all about the horrors of DSL and the glacial bit rates you had to deal with when you were a kid!"

"The temerity of the innocent ones to imagine that they could hack their poor hapless granddaddy!" the old man continued as if he hadn't heard. "I ought to perma-lock your systems! Don't you foolish yutes recall that your beloved grand pappy invented half the stuff that you are trying to use to hack his formidable master server, the StoneCold Stash?"

"Yeah, yeah, yeah," said the boy, the three dimensional projection of his eyes rolling in his disembodied floating head. "Someday the student will surpass the Master, grandfather. I will defeat you and all of your secrets will be…."

The hooting laughter of the old man cut him off and the children lapsed into an annoyed silence.

" 'Someday' isn't marked on any calendar that the Grey Jackal can ever recall seeing! You little grasshoppers are precocious, but you lack the devotion to the art that made your Ancestor a legend of the Cyber Realm! You couldn't hack through a Crystal Lake camp councilor with a hockey mask and a machete!"

Both children made annoyed sounds, not amused by their grandfather's obsolete references.

Suddenly the Georgie projection smiled brightly, and cute little stars even shot out of her bright eyes to flare away into nothingness in the air around her face.

"Come on grandfather! You know we love you! So how about you release our nano probes now? I have research to do for my dissertation on Global Freezing!"

"The Grey Jackal, though far from immune to the charms of the diminutive Wise One, feels that it is his duty to not engender weakness in his misguided descendants by rewarding their failure. Sooooo… I think that a story before I release you is in order!"

The children groaned and the boy's image flashed a nauseated green color.

"Please not the Metro Court hostage crisis again!" begged the girl.

"And we've heard how our long-winded Ancestor became Mayor of Port Jason like a quadrillion times. Can't you just shove bamboo under our fingernails or order us to drink Tabasco sauce, or Brazilian berry juice or something?" complained the boy.

The old man arched a silver brow.

"The Grey Jackal is not entirely pitiless or alien to the nature of mercy. Therefore I shall regale you both with a hitherto untold story of your Honored grand pappy and the Divine One, his Maximista- your grandmother. The talk of twelve inch screens made me think of this story."

The children's projections glanced at one another and then looked back at the old man impatiently.

"Well get on with it then for Hilary's sake!" drawled the girl.

The old man settled back onto the worn couch that was almost as aged and decrepit as he was.

"A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away…."

"Oh for crying out loud!" the boy complained under his breath

"The Grey Jackal was only the Jackal then, and a mere grasshopper besieged by the machinations and multitudinous plottings of the citizens of what was then called Port Charles. But I had the ministrations of my Blonde Ones, and the support of my Mentor, and even then I was a formidable assassin of cyberspace. However the rest of reality was full of challenges for young Jackal. This was years before the first Genuine Clarity Crystals, we had to make do with something we called 'hi-def' back in those days. But the Grey Jackal digresses! Your grandmother and I had become friends and the Jackal knew in his heart that Maximista was his destiny, so I set about wooing her and winning her over with my irresistible charms. The day finally came that she could no longer resist the animal magnetism, the sexual allure of the Jackal, and we took our relationship to the next level…"

"Umm granddad, I'm eight, should I be hearing this?" Two phantom hands appeared and pushed themselves against the girl's ears.

The boy simply rolled his eyes and sighed, resigned.

The Grey Jackal's voice droned on, recounting events of a distant time that dwelt in his memory with the fresh vividness of yesterday.