"Happy birthday, Triela

"What's with the gift, Claes? I don't remember today being special…"

"Does a day have to be special for a girl to give a gift to someone special to her?"

"Certainly not. Thanks a lot."

"You're welcome, Triela."

"I'm opening it, then… It's another teddy bear."


A Gift Called Bonta-Kun

Disclaimer: GSG, FMP and Noir are not mine.


"No, it isn't."

"What do you mean, 'No, it isn't'? It looks like a teddy bear, so what could it be?"

"Bonta-kun is a rat."

"What?"

"Its name is Bonta-kun."

"It has a name."

"Yes."

"And it's a rat."

"Yes."

"How did this become a rat?"

"I don't profess to understand the mind of the typical Japanese plush toy designer."

"So much for Fleda Claes Johansson, pop psychotherapist… so why did you give me a rat?"

"Hilshire and Mario always give you teddy bears. I wanted to be very unique."

"Give the girl an A for Effort."

"You should know that Bonta-kun is a very popular mascot in Japan."

"A rat is a rat. The fact never changes no matter how many times you add it up. Now that I think of it, more is not always merrier."

"There are rats, and there are sewer rats. That is a rat."

"Are you sure it's even a rat? It kind of reminds me of a hamster…"

"It's a rat."

"You're not helping here, Claes."

"Truth is truth."

"You could at least think of what I would feel. Hey, is this a scar on its left cheek?"

"Yes. Only found in the limited edition."

"A scar makes it special?"

"It marks the plushie as a veteran."

"That actually sounds interesting. What's in this backpack?"

"Those would be its accessories."

"Eh? Accessories? Like Barbie?"

"In a manner of speaking."

"I guess they improve the play value of this doll… Claes?"

"Yes?"

"Why does it have a shotgun?"

"It's the standard armament for the limited edition toy."

"You mean it has bigger guns? Why does it have weapons in the first place?"

"I believe it's to terminate the opposition."

"And who's the mark? Beanie Babies? Cabbage Patch Kids? Who the heck is this thing's target age group, anyway?"

"Us."

"… You're kidding me."

"Have I ever tricked you?"

"In more ways than I can count. Flak jacket… helmet… a pistol… an M16 with grenade launcher…"

"The grenade launcher fires a foam bullet."

"It does? Looks like it does… hmmm… let me try it."

"… I would appreciate it if you didn't fire that at my face again."

"So sorry. So what's with the spike on this guy's helmet?"

"That's a commander antenna."

"A what?"

"It's an antenna that marks it as an officer. The common soldier units don't have them. They're also colored gray instead of golden brown."

"How do you know all of that?"

"The Internet."

"And where did you get this?"

"Amazon dot com."

"And where did you get the money to pay for it?"

"I sold my vegetable garden's latest harvest to the cafeteria. Jean served as my middleman."

"…Doesn't Jean pay for your garden's materials and contents?"

"Taking advantage of loopholes in bureaucracy is not corruption."

"You're devious."

"Thank you. So, do you like it?"

"I love it. It's really cute, if eccentric, which fits something coming from you. Though I have to wonder what kind of warped mind cooked this toy up…"


Sagara Sousuke sneezed.

"Bless you," Yuumura Kirika told him.

"Roger."


END