Chapter 1

AN- I cannot tell you how excited I am to post this story. I am having so much fun writing it and I really hope you have just as much fun reading it. It takes place over the American summer holiday. I'm not from there so please forgive me if my research isn't perfect. This chapter turned out much longer than I expected but you will see why I didn't cut it in the end. Please feel free to leave a review on your way out.

Disclaimer- If you know them they are not mine.

Deeks had now finished packing the last of the bags onto the back of his truck and was now starting to pack the cooler box for the trip he was moments away from going on with his daughter. He knelt down and opened the freezers door letting the cold air that escaped cool his face from the warm summer air in Los Angeles. His eyes scanned the freezer for a tub of ice-cream he had bought just that morning. He sighed when he didn't find it.

"Fern Kensi Deeks!"

When there was no answer after a long minute Deeks stood up and made his way through the small house towards a black door with a purple fern down the middle. After there was no answer to his knocking he opened the door slowly. There she was, Fern. The perfect replica of her mother lying on her bed with her earphones plugged into her ears so loud Deeks could hear the ringing of the music. She was scratching the last bit of rocky-road ice-cream out of the carton. Fern pulled her earphones out of her ears and gave Deeks a sneaky smile. she knew exactly what he was looking for.

"Hi daddy"

Deeks put his hands on his hips, "I was calling you."

"Sorry I had my earphones in. You could have sent me a text."

"I prefer the normal why which you may call the old way."

"No one likes old."

"No actually you like a lot of old things…"

"Like what exactly?"

"Greenday, Nickelback, ACDC, and I'm pretty sure everything old that has to do with nature."

Fern held a finger in front of her lips, "Don't tell a soul."

Deeks laughed, "Sweetie how many times do I have to tell you not to eat that. I think I'm going to need to have the discussion about budgets and unhealthy eating with you again."

Fern got up and followed Deeks into the kitchen, "Don't worry dad… I know you will buy me more."

"I was thinking maybe I should take the money I spend on ice-cream every month out of your allowance."

"Na, I think that's just your way of telling me you don't want to give me money anymore."

"Well I only earn a cops salary and you refuse to share the money you earn from working as a waitress with me because you're saving… plus I think it's the only way to stop you from smoking."

Fern didn't reply but continued to help Deeks pack the cooler box. She didn't want to reply and she also didn't know how to reply. She was on the beach with her friends one Saturday evening, her phone had died and it was past her curfew so Deeks decided to walk up to the beach because it was a block away from their house. Deeks appeared out of nowhere and took the cigarette away from her and began shouting at her. She had never seen him so angry at her, not even when she had come home several hours after her curfew and he found out she lied about being at work. She still hadn't stopped thinking about that day. She felt afraid of him and cried in front of him and all her friends. He left the beach in anger and when Fern arrived home he wasn't there. He didn't come back for a whole day and when he did he apologised with tears in his eyes and begged for her forgiveness which he easily earned because Fern felt guilty.

"So where are we going?" Fern asked changing the subject which Deeks allowed.

"On a tour of America, I spoke to Hetty on the phone this morning and that's all she told me. She gave me the address of where we are heading today but she says she is only giving us the other addresses when it's time to go there. It's a national park or something."

"I love that woman. Why is she doing this anyway? She is paying for the whole thing. Do you know how expensive it is to travel around America for as long as the entire summer holidays?"

Deeks shrugged, "She is getting old and she is feeling generous."

"So in other words she is about to die and is getting rid of all her money?"

"Something like that."

"And we are just accepting that?"

"She will not take no for an answer, you know that," Deeks patted Ferns back, "Come on baby girl lets hit the road."

Deeks took his eyes off the road to look at Fern for a second. Her dark hair was in curls flowing down her back and shoulders. She was wearing leather black pants and a striped black and purple collared shirt. Her eyes were closed with her earphones plugged into her ears again. She was hugging her knees with a smile on her face. She was beautiful.

He softly pulled out one of her earphones which earned him a death stare. "And that was for?"

Deeks chuckled softly, "Why don't you ever talk to me?"

Fern sat up straight, "Well… I don't know what I am supposed to talk to you about, period's maybe?"

"Even though that sounds like an interesting topic I think that maybe I will just give that one a pass."

Fern laughed, "Yeah? What are we supposed to talk about?"

"Let's play a game?"

"I spy?"

"Not a good Idea while I'm driving."

"Tell me something you have never told me before."

Deeks shook his head he knew exactly what she was getting at.

"Fine I'll ask," Fern said crossing her arms, "What was my mother's name?"

"Fern you know I don't like talking about her."

"But that doesn't make it my fault. I am almost 16 and I don't know what my mother looks like, what her name is or even if she is dead or alive!"

"Fern I said no!" Deeks said sternly.

"Dad just one thing, please?"

Deeks took in a deep breath and let it out slowly. Fern deserved to know something about her mother, and she wouldn't stop until she got it. He thought about it for a couple of seconds as Fern watched him slowly. He was afraid what he said would hit too close to home. He tried his best every single day not to think about Kensi but somehow he always did even after all of these years. Finally he spoke, "Partners."

Fern raised an eyebrow, "Huh?"

"Your mom and I, we were partners."

"She was a cop?"

"Not exactly… we worked for NCIS."

"NCI- who?"

"NCIS, Naval Criminal Investigative Service. It's a federal agency. Your mom was an agent and I was and LAPD liaison officer."

Ferns mouth dropped, "My mom was a federal agent? That's so badass!"

"What can I say, she was Badass Blye."

"Blye?"

"Shit. Yeah Blye is her surname."

"Okay continue?" Fern asked hopefully, ignoring the name hint hoping to get more out of Deeks.

"That's all there is."

"Why are you not a liaison officer anymore?"

"That is a story for another day."

"Please don't leave me hanging like this dad?"

"We were so in love until after we had you."

"Gee was I such a bad baby?"

"It wasn't you it was her. She had an extremely bad case of postpartum depression and it lasted every long. I tried to help her but she pushed me away. I fought and I fought for her and for our family for a year and a half. I would've rather died than walked out on her. I refused to let her give up. I refused to let her give up on getting better or on our family but soon she grew tired and broke up with me. I refused to let her go so she put me through hell and eventually I left. I resigned from NCIS and took you with me. I haven't seen her since then."

Fern stared at her father. Deeks had never told her anything about her mother so it was overwhelming to take in all of this. Although she was shocked and still processing what had happened she had more questions, "Why didn't she fight you for me?"

"No Fern it's not like that. We both agreed it would be best if I took you."

"But… she didn't fight."

"Honey don't think like that. There is another reason that I'm not prepared to talk to you about right now."

Fern rolled her eyes, "So do I look more like you or her? If I was a year and a half old why don't I have any pictures with her?"

"I left them all on purpose. I was so devastated I wanted to not have any reminders of what we had together. I even left my dog, Monty. Leaving him broke my heart like you cannot believe. You would have loved him."

"Why, I don't understand?"

"You see Fern the only real way to get out of loves evil gip is to block it out. Everything that built up the relationship needs to go. For me it was photographs, my job, my dog, and… uh, never mind. You also need to let yourself feel the ache of your heart breaking. After you have felt that pain you can start to let go and try and forget."

Fern shook her head. She felt Deeks pain and that broke her heart but she knew he was lying to her. Maybe even lying to himself. She could only try to imagine what her parents had shared. It must have been amazing. "I don't agree. Your heart doesn't ever stop aching. Not the love I think you two shared. Not true love. That is why you are so afraid of talking about her or anything that has to do with her. You are still in love with her and I don't blame you."

Deeks was shocked at his daughter's words, who was he trying to fool? She was intelligent beyond her years. "Alright Fern I will give you that but although my heart is broken my soul is in good condition. You see, loving can mend a soul and you Fern Kensi mended mine."

Fern smiled, "I love you too dada."

"Hey dad?" Fern said after a few minutes, "You still haven't answered my question, what is her name?"

Deeks laughed at her attempt, "Oh Fern everything is all than you think."

Fern laughed, she knew it was wishful thinking. She was happy Deeks had finally opened up to her and told her about her mother. She appreciated it more than anyone could imagine.

Fern leaned forward and banged onto the dashboard with excitement. Deeks laughed at her in confusion.

"What is this about now?"

"Dad this is not just a national park or something this is the Yosemite National Park! This place is beautiful. It has North America's tallest waterfall. Some even say that this is the most beautiful place on earth. No cities, no pollution just beautiful nature."

Deeks squinted at the wooden Yosemite sign beside the road he had just turned onto. "Well then lets check this place out huh?"

When the two arrived at the cottage inside the park a scruffy dog tackled Deeks. He bent down and scratched the dog hesitantly as it licked his face.

"He is adorable dad! I think he likes you." Fern walked around the truck to join Deeks and patted the dog.

"I'd say," Deeks said as he stood up and glanced at the cottage with a grass roof. He then turned and looked at Fern.

"What's up dad?" Fern asked noticing her father's confused face and almost pale skin.

"Uh nothing is wrong, you should go take a look around this place while I unload the truck."

"No dad I will help," Fern argued.

"Fern I have it, go now."

Fern rolled her eyes and spun around putting her earphones back into her ears and walking down a small path. The dog following closely behind her.

Deeks made his way up the steps towards the door and found it unlocked. He put his key back into his pocket and opened the door. The cottage was old fashioned and smelt of mothballs. He took a few steps inside to look around when he heard a woman shout from the next room.

"Max do you have your night light?"

A young man's voice shouted back at her, "Nice one mom, I fell asleep with it on, I was reading!"

Deeks eyes widened, he recognised the woman's voice. He knew it off by heart. "Kensi is that you?"

Within a second she was standing at the door of the room she was in. Her hair had grown and she looked older. She had the exact expression on her face as he did. It showed pain and confusion. It was her, standing in the door way just a few metres away from him. It was Kensi Blye. He hadn't seen her in fourteen and a half years. She looked the same except for tiny features caused by age. She was beautiful.