A/n: Well...I did a ShinjiKaworu! Yay for me!...Don't worry, a GendoShinji and TojiShinji will come soon. (Yeah, you heard right, GENDOSHINJI.)
Anyway...Yeah. I love Shinji, and you might too, so enjoy!
Love Long Lost
I've never felt so needed before. So loved.
Not with Misato, or Asuka, or Father.
I think I felt it with mother, but I can't remember.
Kaworu Nagisa. He's special.
He told me he loved me. He touched me, and I wasn't afraid. He held nothing back.
He just smiled. Then I opened up to him, and I can't believe I did! I told him everything, that I want love, that I hate Father...and he didn't judge me. He smiled and accepted me.
No one's ever truly accepted me. I'm just a kid, a dumb kid who should be happy that I'm alive, but I'm not. I'm not happy that my father is alive either. So I'm not happy that Kaworu's not.
He deserved to live. He was a good person. He listened, he felt, and he accepted.
He loved me. I think I loved him too.
Kaworu...forgive me, please, for living.
He was an angel, and I killed him. He didn't kill anyone, he almost did, but he didn't.
Look at me...I've killed a countless number of people. Damnit, Kaworu, why did you leave me?
You didn't want to kill humans, and that was the only way you could live, gah...it's so unfair! Why couldn't you have killed the humans? Why not?
Why did you have to die? I wish I had died. I deserve it.
I don't want to have to live like this with a selfish Misato, or cruel Asuka. An insane Dr.Akagi, or a...whatever...Ayanami is. Or Father.
I just want to be with you Kaworu, don't you understand? Can't you take me from here?
If your an angel then come to me.
Come to me Kaworu! Make a miracle, please...please...
Kaworu, Please kill me.
owari-