"For failing you."
Len is staring at her - the piercing blue of his eyes, which has never wavered across generations, scratches the edge of her heart. It has long lost its effect upon her, so Miku doesn't react when he tosses the dice at her. Len - an amalgamation of souls that shared the same name; this Len - feels nothing after an eon of continuous reincarnation but faint disappointment at himself. And Miku closes her eyes at his hidden distress, because he has gone tired of games.
-and yet, he keeps believing that luck will switch sides someday.
"You have not failed." Miku closes her palm around the dice; to a goddess, it is a situation that triggers nothing and absolutely everything in her. She is above all, above the mortals and gods, for is she who controls the very fabric of the universe - the goddess of fate. The bone-white dice glow in her hand, the mechanism that determines the fate of all - she can smell blood and terror coming from them. An awful smell that has penetrated in her nostrils and remained there forever. "It was set in stone, anyways."
"I still failed, for nothing has changed." Len sits down and rests his hands on the table. His hands, despite being as smooth as when he first came here, hide calluses and scars underneath the skin. He purses his lips. "I know what role I have in this, Miku - I have long acknowledged it. I can try and flee from it - from you - but in the end, nothing ever changes. I am still trapped here. With you. Always."
She wants to tease him, to make him feel worse. She wants to see him twist in anger and sorrow, and lament each wrong decision he's made. That's what she does, that's her main entertainment: to laugh at the misfortune of others.
She holds back her tongue. "You make it sound like it's a bad thing." He's tired, she knows with lack of empathy, he's so tired of rebirth and fate. He's grown tired of her games.
"It is bad when you keep sealing tragedies to my souls."
"Fine then." She says, placing the dice on the table. "But I know your triumphs. It's because of us that the one-winged Bird God has been vanquished. That a country is no longer burdened with a fire-breathing dragon, that a troupe of actors aren't trapped in a cycle of self-repeating plays. The multiverse is safe because of us."
She has said too much - Len's hands curl into fists and he grits his teeth, blue rage burning higher and higher. With a slight trace of emotion Miku realizes he is always going to be as volatile as he was when chasing the dragon (and searching for his sister). He is viciously fighting to keep his body still, but he's shaking.
Len hisses, "What has Rin done, then?"
"Refused to stay out of your way."
The truth sinks in; he doesn't accept it. He slams his open palm against the table, which cracks under the impact because he's become much stronger since their first meeting, and stands up. His expression twists in fury and denial. It's the first time she notices the bulk beneath his clothing, the veins popping in his forehead and his heart drumming angrily inside his chest, and she actually gasps.
"You dare say this over her body, after everything we went through?!"
"She is not part of us regardless of what you choose to believe in, Len." Miku raises her voice while remaining calm. "She has done nothing but disturb the balance of things. She is your downfall and a useless pawn. She is the one who has failed, what isn't a surprise."
"She is part of this as much as we are."
Cruelty slithers down the corners of her crooked smile. Miku chuckles darkly, "Yes, she is the part which tempts you to death. That's the reason your fates are tied to tragedy one way or another - because you aren't meant for each other, and breaking the rules will always result in death and suffering. Understand this already."
"I love her." He finally snaps. It feels like a rusty knife twisting on her gut.
Miku climbs the table and crawls her way to him. His expression does not soften nor harden the slightest, even when she pushes him to the chair again and sits on his lap. He does not move as she wraps her arms around his neck and presses their bodies close until there is no space left between them. He tries to hide and stay calm at her presence, but she can feel his heart jumping to his throat.
"How much do you love her, then? Enough to tie your soul to eternal suffering for the sake of fake happiness? Enough to have yourself drowning in fire for the sake of a immoral romance?" she plays along with his insistence in denying reality as it is. She knows he doesn't love Rin - he never ever did. She's a replacement. A mechanism to cope with loneliness. He has always pitied her for being so ridiculously selfish while feigning innocence, and so he uses her for his own benefits without realizing. "You disappoint me by thinking this way."
He senses her smirk and doesn't answer. Instead, he echoes, "I love her."
Enough is enough. "No, you don't. You never did. How can you love the creature born from pieces of your souls? It's the same as loving yourself, Len." Miku sneers and digs her nails into his back; he arches his back at her, letting out a breathless gasp. His eyes lose their anger for a split second; she sees desire there. "You use and abuse of her by whispering fake words of love while thinking in someone else, don't you, Len? Don't you?"
He grabs the seat desperately, grasping at his sanity. He's conflicted. "I love her. I love her. I love her. I-" she doesn't let him finish, and crashes her lips against his. His heart stutters. He wants this, she knows he wants this more than she does, he wants this more than anything the universes can offer him - but he resists because he hates being weak against her. He hates how she makes him feel powerless under her.
Miku summons the dice to her, and they come flying towards her palm. Parting away from him with a wet sound, she presses the dice to his chest. "If you are so in love with yourself, then toss the ruthless dice... if you are feeling lucky today, that is." She laughs, resembling more of the cruel goddess of fate she is known for.
Len's left hand shoots up and tightens around her wrist. She feels his excited heart melt through his vest, his sensitive skin shiver under her touch, his composite soul shake within him. His mask crumbles away and he exposes his true colors without fear. His right hand slowly lets go of the chair, uncertain and somewhat dazed (by her touch or something else?), and he snakes his arm around her waist.
He doesn't take the dice. "I can't bet what I don't have and I can't lose what I have."
She tests him- "And what do you have?"
-and he doesn't hesitate. "You. I always had you."
She brings her hand to her own chest. Her own soul has already grown tired of these games. Len, however, provides her what the gods denied her. This man she maybe loves is everything she needs to keep dragging her existence that has long become unnecessary through the eons.
Miku smirks, amused by his sudden insolence. "On what grounds?"
Instead of answering like she expects him to, Len brings her down and slams his lips onto hers. The kiss - if she can even call it as such - is passionate, borderline aggressive, and bruises her lips. He wants to make her feel the same way as he does - he succeeds in a way she grudgingly admits. The kiss lasts half a minute, enough to snatch her breath away. Len looks happier, though.
He whispers a starlight secret, "On the grounds that I always had you as much as you always had me, in the palm of your hand."
She doesn't dare retort because it's true.
Len - this Len that has grown since their first meeting, when he was a husk of a recently deceased boy with no place to go, and became stronger from devouring souls of other men that shared his name - acknowledges the fate written in his heart as nasty battle scars, engraved by the bitten nails of a worthless counterpart and Miku's claws. He tries to deny it, but deep inside he knows. He knows the truth. He knows.
Miku sighs. The sound echoes. Warmth touches his face and she feels him shiver. She shoves the dice inside his pocket. "You've won for time being, my dearest Len. But we'll play again at the hexahedron. Keep that in mind."
"I will."
Then he kisses her again and it's kinder this time. Miku realizes with amusement that this is warm and startlingly real, which unlocks the feeblest of emotion in her. Len pulls her closer until neither of them can breathe properly. His movements are eeriely rehearsed, measured, yet this doesn't bother her the least. He kisses, kisses, kisses. He gasps briefly when she rolls her waist onto his lap, gazing at her with unquenchable desire before slipping his tongue inside her mouth.
He's vigorous and starving. His fingers run across her hair, fingering and then removing the ribbons that hold her pigtails in place. He leaves goosebumps where he touches. He leaves a burning red mark when he clamps his teeth down on her neck. She can feel his desire reaching the point of no return, so she pulls back and places a finger onto his lips when he attempts to draw her back.
Miku breathes, "And you claim to love 'Rin' while you do this to me." Len whines when she says this; she cups his face and rubs her thumbs across his cheeks. "You are a despicable liar - just like you were when alive. Who do you love truly, Len? Is it me or yourself?"
Len closes his eyes and stays silent. His expression is serene, as if enjoying her touch on his cheeks. This isn't part of the game. This isn't part of the gambling. This has nothing to do with his souls and the dice. And yet they insist in partake to these activities. It's against the rules, but Miku doesn't care and neither does he.
He dips his head into her crook of her neck and sighs. It's painfully clear to her that this is the side of him that is needy and insecure he's showing, the side he conceals and kills, but it rebuilds itself afterwards. The cycle repeats. It's the side he hates because it shows his weaknesses. He hates being weak.
Right now, though, he lets it bloom before her eyes as she embraces him. "You know the answer." Len mumbles. He snuggles closer to her, wanting to feel more of her warmth. She grants him his wish, just this once. She's tired, too. She really is. They're both tired of games.
He's an entertainment that means more than just a temporary plaything. Miku is very aware of the squirming, frail feelings he's infused into her. He's bound to her, but he's also bound to be reborn again and again and fall in love with mirages as he waits his inevitable death. It's always a tragedy. It's always pitiful. He travels across the universes in different yet similar-looking bodies, with the silly hope of breaking the chain that brings him back to her.
He doesn't realize he has no say in this. The dice won't do what he wants. The dice take no consideration on his emotions. There is no such thing as failures - he can't realize this. He still acts as a foolish human in spite of his composite soul and knowledge over the mechanics of the multiverses.
Miku enjoys this proximity she has with him. Soon enough he will be parting to his next body, so she takes everything from the heat of him, with a bittersweet feeling simmering beneath her skin. Until his rebirth in another universe, another body, another life, he will be trapped in this coffin of a hexahedron with her. Until the ruthless dice are thrown again.
hitoshizuku-p has a len & miku duet! oh my god i'm happy forever! aaaaaand 'Unmei no Megami/Goddess of Fate' is a goddamn powerful song which NEEDS a fanmade pv. somebody give me a tablet cuz i want to do a pv for it! I WANT TO. i have, like, two headcanons for this but the other wouldn't work since it involves... three different mikus. it would be very confusing. more than this headcanon already is. xD
don't notice how i overuse details unnecessarily bc yes it's rushed it's as short as my competence and i don't bother fleshing out anything. i Suck A Really Lot and i am a Loser - but if you leave a review before going away, it would be awesome.
anyways, i must indulge in lenku covers and fics right now baibai minasan ;)