"Komari-san!" I call out to empty space. She's been missing since this morning, according to Sasasegawa-san. She, Rin and I are out and about, looking for Komari-san. Why does her absence matter?
Because Kyousuke graduates today.
"Komari-chan!" I hear Rin coming down this direction. I intercept her.
"Is she not here either?" I ask.
She shakes her head, her tiny bell ringing. "I guess she's not on this floor either."
"What about the rooftop? That should have been the first place we looked."
"Haven't checked." She ponders a bit. "I don't think Sasasegawa-san knows how to get through the window."
"Is she actually up there?!"
Rin shows me a text from her phone to confirm my guess. "I told her where the screwdriver is, but she hasn't said anything…"
"Let's go check up on her." Upon my suggestion, Rin nods in compliance.
Before long, we're at the stairwell leading to the rooftop. It seems my fears have been realized. Sasasegawa-san is using the screwdriver on the window, to no avail.
"Uuu~ How do I open this thing?!"
"Sasasegawa-san!" I call her name. She turns around, surprised and a little annoyed at us.
"What took you so long?! I've been at this for twenty minutes!"
"Sasasegawa-san," Rin scolds her, "The window opens this way."
Taking the screwdriver and pressing it against the right side of the window, it swings open with little effort. For a moment, Sasasegawa watches in surprise, before thanking her with reluctance.
"You are a worthy rival, Natsume Rin," she scoffs. "Someday I will get you back for this."
"Let's go." Rin doesn't seem to pay her comment any mind as we rush up to the roof. I check the time on my phone. 08:45.
"We have fifteen minutes, Rin," I warn her.
"Got it," she responds.
We search every corner of the rooftop. I even go as far as to check places she would hide or get stuck in, but Rin and I can't find her. Just as we are about to give up, Sasasegawa-san calls us over to one corner of the rooftop. She points to a corner where the chain link fence has given way. A girl of Rin's height could crawl through it without issue.
"Could she have…?" I fear the worst, but Rin shakes her head.
"Komari-chan wouldn't do that," she observes.
"She did seem a little strange this morning," Sasasegawa-san recalls, "but I do agree."
"It's our only clue to finding her," I remark, "but why would she crawl through this hole?"
"Mmm…" Rin ponders hard on the matter. Sasasegawa-san, too. I check my phone's time again. 08:51.
"I'll go check from ground level," I tell them. "If you see anything familiar, let me know in a text."
Rin nods, her bell accessory ringing. Sasasegawa-san, with some hesitance, nods as well.
At my position, I look up to where the hole in the chain link fence is. I see Rin and Sasasegawa-san looking down at my position. I can't see their faces very well from this height, but I do see something dangling from a tree right below where the fence is broken. It looks like Komari-san's hair ribbon!
My climbing strength is not the best, but this tree isn't any bigger than Kengo on Masato's shoulders. I can scale this. I reach for the lowest branch, and jump!
"Hu!" I catch the branch. It's sturdy enough to support my weight but getting myself up is the hard part.
"Urrrrgh…" Ugh, I wish I had some of Masato's muscle right now. It takes me the better part of three minutes to climb the branch. I hear it groan and crack under my weight.
"Urr…hu!" I grab the next highest branch and draw my legs up. I see some sort of ribbon caught in the branch on my left. I reach out to it…
SNAP! The branch I'm hanging onto lurches forward, and my animal reflexes take over. Crap, this isn't good! My fingers can't find solid purchase on a branch!
THUD! All over I feel pain. My vision gets blurry, and for a moment, I feel like I'm going to black out. That's when I hear two exasperated female voices, screaming my name. Ah…I can't…see anything…
I wake up to a white ceiling. I feel awful, like I slammed my head against a wall more than any sane person should. Did Rin and Sasasegawa-san carry me here? Are they here?
"Riki-kun…" I hear a different voice. Agh, I can't move my neck. Who is it?
"…Who?"
"It's me," the quiet mumbling of Komari-san registers in my ringing ears. "…I'm sorry. I've caused everyone a lot of trouble today."
"No…no…" It's so hard to speak…where is she?
"Riki-kun," she repeats my name in a downhearted tone. "It's my fault. I had to leave. Today is the last day Kyousuke-san will be here. I wanted to see…if he would notice."
"…No…tice?"
"He hasn't said one word about me since the field trip," she whispers in a sad, distant tone. "He said something to you that day, didn't he?"
…I remember that day. That was the day Kyousuke told me I would become leader in his stead. I, too, was dreading that moment today. Kyousuke going away…I hate to accept it, but I can't refuse it. Kyousuke asked me to keep everyone safe…
"You're our leader now," she continues, eyes drooping but still pulling off an empty smile. "I'm happy for you. And Rin-chan, too. I think she'll be very happy with you as her leader."
"Koma…ri…san…" I can't stop her as she stands up to leave.
"Goodbye, Riki-kun. There's one last person I need to see…so take care of Rin-chan and Sa-chan for me, okay?"
She sounds like she's going away forever. I don't want that, but I can't chase after her. I can't lift my legs off the bed. Everything is in pain. Ah, she's gone…
"Ko…mari…" I lose consciousness.
Komari
My heart is pounding. I always thought I could bring happiness to people just by being happy and caring, but something was different today. I'm sad, and I don't know why.
Kyousuke-san is close by, I can feel it. His kindness is unparalleled. I always found him very agreeable. He was a lot of fun to be around. Of course, everyone is sad he's leaving.
I wish everyone cared about him the same way I do.
I think it started when Riki-kun took me out for ice cream after the pancake party. Kyousuke was the waiter. He was magnificent that day, and the sundae was delicious. But I think what stood out to me were the words he said before Riki-kun and I dug in.
Think nothing of it, your smile alone is enough for me.
They were such simple words, but something about the way he said that stuck with me. Although I was helping Riki-kun at the time, a secret interest in Kyousuke-san formed in me.
Several repetitions came after that, but for some reason, my interest in Kyousuke-san never went away. I saw Riki-kun with other girls. I was happy for him, but I was also sad. Kyousuke-san never once took notice of me while Riki-kun was elsewhere. I grew close to Rin-san to try and get him to talk to me, but he still didn't notice.
For a while, I wondered what was on Kyousuke's mind. Happy days would come to an end soon. Riki-kun and Rin-chan were growing stronger. The other girls left, but I stayed. I was sentimental. I wanted to give Rin-chan a proper goodbye. I hadn't given up on Kyousuke just yet. In my heart I wished…
that if we were to survive,
that I would have a proper chance to get to know Kyousuke better.
"Kyousuke-san!" I catch him just in time at the school gate. He turns around, looking like a lost puppy.
"Huh?" He recognizes me, his eyes the same as in that ice cream parlor all that time ago. "What is it, Kamikita-san?"
"Um…" I must force myself. I've never been this serious in my life. I'm kind of a klutz, but I'm not useless. I can do this. "K-Kyousuke-san, I have something to tell you!"
"Yes, what's wrong?" He's smiling at me! Uwaa, why are you making this so hard, Kyousuke-san?!
"I…I!" The words won't come out. I inhale and try again. "C-can we…?!"
"Can we what?" He's very patient. Even after all that happened, he's still waiting for something. It couldn't be his plan to see me here, just when he's going away. Somewhere…where I'll never see him again.
"Can we go out later?!" I said it! Hang in there, Komari Kamikita! His answer is coming!
He looks a little surprised, but soon after, a grim look washes over him. "Kamikita-san."
"Y-yes?" I wait for his next words. I'm prepared to be disappointed. I'm prepared to be hurt. I've lost things before, but for once, I don't want to lose Kyousuke-san. Please, God. Please grant me this wish…
"Why me?" He answers with grief.
"Eehh? W-well…" I draw a blank. I should have had a reason, but…all I have is a feeling. I love him. But how did I get this far? I don't even remember how it started. It just…happened. In a world where nothing happens…it happened.
"I…don't really have a reason," I confess. "But that's because I don't remember much from that world."
Kyousuke gives me a tough stare. Did I hurt his feelings? Am I hurting him, saying this? I don't want to hurt anyone. But he's also hurting me, looking at me like that. Is this what a selfish, one-sided love feels like?
"Still!" What am I doing? Why can't I stop? "Something had to have happened, or else I wouldn't be here! I wanted to see you before you left, because I like you! I like you a lot!"
Kyousuke's face trembles. He's starting to cry. He's on his knees now. His bag falls off his shoulder. I see him as a little boy now, perhaps the same boy Riki-kun became friends with. I'm on my knees too, sobbing out loud.
"Uwahhhhhhhh~!" We must look like idiots, crying together in front of the school gates. But that's what we've always been. Idiots. We never knew anything. All we knew was that the both of us had something to do, and we had to do it before it was too late. I've done everything I can. I've given you my heart, Kyousuke. Why do you keep crying? Why can't you answer me back?
…What have I done?
Riki
"Riki," Rin looks at me with depressed eyes. "I miss the old Komari-chan…"
The unthinkable happened. Komari-san confessed to Kyousuke and was turned down on the spot. Since then, Rin tells me, she hasn't found the strength to leave her room. Sasasegawa-san's mood also changed. She's been worried about her roommate since that day. It's now a rare thing to seeing her outside of class. The lack of motivation from Komari-san's absence also hurt the energy of baseball practice. I must do something about it.
"So do I," I answer in kind. "I want to go see her today."
"Umu." She gives me a weak nod.
I've recovered enough that I can walk, but I can't leave my room for long without getting dizzy. I have Rin assist me in getting inside the girls' dorm, and when we reach Komari-san's room, Sasasegawa-san greets us in a whisper.
"Aren't you supposed to be in bed, Naoe-kun?" She scolds me.
"Komari-san's more important right now," I respond.
"What makes you think you can help?"
"I'm the leader. It's in my jurisdiction to ensure she's alright."
"…Well, whatever." She barges her way past me and Rin. "I need some fresh air and sunlight anyway, maybe some exercise. If I don't come back before you leave, close the door behind you."
As Sasasegawa-san walks off, I ask Rin to let me down by Komari-san's bedside.
The scene is like that one foreign wizard movie with the giant snake in it. Her entire body is frozen in shock, stuck in a kneeling position, reaching out towards something. Her eyes look empty, her mouth open just a little. Rin tries holding her hand.
"It's cold," she says in a depressed voice. "Komari-chan…"
"I can't believe something like this could happen to her," I lament with her. "How could Kyousuke have done this to her?!"
"Kyousuke didn't do anything wrong," Rin defends her brother. "If anything, it might have been my fault."
"Rin?"
"I knew she liked Kyousuke. I encouraged her to tell him up front before he graduated."
"How come I didn't know?"
"I'm not sure." She ponders a little to herself. "I think she said something about having memories of the 'other world.' Did she fall in love with you?"
"Wh-why would you think that?! I wouldn't know!"
"Hmm…" She presses on Komari-san's palm as she ponders. "Well, it doesn't matter, does it? Even if she did fall in love with you…Komari-chan's a good girl."
"You say that as if you don't care about our relationship…"
"Don't get me wrong, I like you! It's just that…Komari-chan's a good girl."
"Saying it again doesn't make the point any clearer…" I sigh and clasp onto Komari-san's other hand. Like Rin said, there's no warmth in it. I use both my hands to warm it, even going to the point of rubbing them together to get her hand warm again.
"U…uu…" Her mouth stirs. I jump at the opportunity.
"Komari-san, it's us," I say to her. "We need you…"
Komari
Kyousuke-san didn't say anything after that. He left without saying goodbye.
I found myself unable to move. Awake, but unfeeling. I made a mistake. I shouldn't have done what I did. It's my fault we left each other on bad terms like this. Now I'll never get the chance to apologize.
"Kamikita-san?" Ah, it's Sa-chan. Thank heavens she's here. I want to cry in her arms, but I can't even move my eyes. I'm still facing the school gate.
"Kamikita-san?! Are you okay?!" Sa-chan…help me…
Before long, I'm in my room. All I can see is Sa-chan. She looks sad. Don't cry, Sa-chan. I'm here for you. I wish I could say those words to her…No, wait. Don't go.
"Kamikita-san," she tells me beyond my field of view. "I'll be back after class."
I hear a door shut. I'm all alone.
As the days pass by, my eyes grow used to the darkness. My eyes burn, since I can't close my eyelids. I can't make out Sa-chan's figure anymore. When I hear the door open, I hear muffled voices. Who's here? Where's Sa-chan? I want someone to hold me…
I feel a warm spot on my hand. I've felt this before. It was a long time ago, in the world where something happened. Rin-san was with me that day. I pressed my hand into hers. It was warm, shy, open to my lonely chill. I wanted her to be my friend. It had nothing to do with Kyousuke-san. It only came to me later, the idea of her being my sister. I welcomed it.
There's another warmth, grabbing my other hand. This warmth is different, tough like Kyousuke-san. But it's not him. It's too feeble. It must be Riki-kun. Ah, Riki-kun…if I could apologize to the both of you now…
"Komari-san, it's us," I hear his voice. "We need you…"
I need you too. I don't want to be like this. I want things to return to the way they were. But that's not possible. Kyousuke-san knew that. But Riki-kun made miracles happen despite all that. I want to rely on Riki. He's our leader. He will protect me.
Are you sure?
A voice from the past.
Are you sure that's right?
But not my past.
He can't solve your regrets.
I can't do it myself.
Then it will happen again.
Then I will rely on Riki-kun again.
Riki won't be with you forever.
Then…what can I do?
Decide what you want the most.
I…want to be with Kyousuke.
Then…
Be with Kyousuke.
Kyousuke
I've been on the road for a while now. Even though I walked these roads before, I'm always on edge. There's a feeling that I can't shake off, and I figure it has to do with Kamikita-san.
Her confession was…out of the blue. It never occurred to me that she could like me that way. I don't share her feelings, but…for some reason, I can't get my mind off her.
Sometimes the best impression to make is the one you leave people with. If that's true, then I left Kamikita-san with the worst impression a man could give. She brought it upon herself, though. She didn't even have a reason to approach me.
…Or did she?
I lie back on the bench I'm sitting on. Tokyo is a tough place to travel through, but I'm making good progress with a couple employers. When I find somewhere to live nearby, I can start the long grind.
I miss the Busters. I really do, but life is never kind to us. They can call or text all they want, but I don't see any chance of meeting any of them again. Even Rin…
Rin has it good. She won't leave Riki behind for the world. Riki has it good too. Every good man needs a woman close by his side. It's a shame I never found anyone worth looking at. I don't have a great taste in women.
My phone rings. I check who the sender is. It's Riki. I guess I'll humor him while I wait for the next bus.
"Ah, Riki," I open the conversation. "What's up?"
"Kyousuke-san?" That voice isn't Riki's, unless he learned how to speak like a girl.
"Ahaha, good one, Riki. Your girl impression is spot-on."
"Hue?! But I'm not Riki-kun!"
"K-Kamikita-san?! Wait, why are you using Riki's phone?!"
"I don't have my phone with me," she apologizes. "I'm borrowing Riki-kun's."
"Still, why are you calling? I'm busy finding work!" It's a lame excuse, something Rin would pick up with ease, but Kamikita-san wouldn't.
"That's just a lame excuse, moron!" Gah, Rin's here too?!
"Uwa, Rin-chan, calm down!" There's some ruckus on the phone before Kamikita-san's voice becomes clear again. "Um…Kyousuke-san?"
"I'm still here. What is it?"
"I'm still waiting for your answer," she replies in meekness. "Riki-kun and Rin-chan are backing me up. It's a little embarrassing…but I want to hear your answer."
I'm a little speechless at her bravery. She's grown a lot with us. I daresay she's my superior in wisdom and patience. Someone like Riki would do well to have her as a companion…but not me. I can't say she's my type. So why am I hesitating?
"Kamikita-san, I'm sorry I made you cry the other day. I've been thinking about your proposal for a while, and…I'm just not ready for something like this."
"Is that a no?" For some reason, her words force me to be noncommittal.
"No, not at all. I'm glad you took a risk like this. It's just that I'm not ready to answer."
"Kyousuke-san…how long must I wait to hear your answer?"
"...Why do you ask?"
"Because I know you're not happy."
I gasp at her sorrowful words. She's more perceptive than I thought. Keep cool, Kyousuke. "H-how do you figure that?"
"You hate saying goodbye. I know that feeling as well as you do."
She's right on the dot, but she doesn't stop there. "I don't like it when a friend of mine, especially you, Kyousuke-san, is unhappy. I…I want to be your happiness, like Rin-chan is to Riki-kun. Can you let me be that…just this once?"
She's too sweet a girl to refuse. She's hit every mark so far, but there's something I still don't think she gets. I can't support a girl like her the way I am right now. I don't even know if I can tolerate her enough to have her stay more than a week. I heard Kurugaya say once that girls are high-maintenance. Even if that's a joke…could I grow to love Kamikita-san?
"Kamikita-san," I ask her. "Are you prepared to be there for me, when I come home every day? Are you willing to wait until I return, if I return?"
"I will wait forever for you, Kyousuke-san," she answers without hesitation.
"Then tell those two eavesdroppers with you," I reply, "I'm coming back next week."
Riki
That one week felt like an eternity to the three of us. Although she never showed it, I think Komari-san felt the most pained out of all of us. She came back to class and talked with us as she did under normal circumstances. When asked by the others, she glossed over the details of her relationship with Kyousuke. Thus, it remained a secret between the three of us.
Here at the school gate, I see a new side of Komari-san, one of tearful anticipation. All the feelings welling up inside of her are close to bursting. It gets me thinking, the way she expresses her love is rather different to mine. I look at Rin, who seems less observant yet still deep in thought.
"Riki," Rin asks me at some point, "Komari-chan looks…different today."
"What do you mean?" I ask her to elaborate.
"She looks a little…older? No, that's not right…Hm…" She struggles to find the proper word. I suggest something a little different.
"I think she looks more experienced."
"Huh? What do you mean?"
"Think about it. She's been living to ensure everyone's happiness. I think she's learned that she needs to attend to her own sometimes."
"Amazing…I never would have thought of it that way. You're smart, Riki."
I blush red at her childlike compliment. It was just an interpretation, but Rin just now made me feel like the most successful person in the world. I can't blame Komari-san for falling in love, even if it is with Kyousuke.
"Yo," a familiar voice calls to us by the school gate.
Komari-san makes an audible gasp. Kyousuke hasn't changed much since he left. He looks a little worn-out, but he's still smiling like a child. Rin and I stand there, speechless as we watch him approach Komari-san.
"Kamikita-san," he addresses her with an awkward smile. "…I'm sorry."
"No," she shakes her head. "I'm the one who should be sorry. I shouldn't have pressed this on you while you were looking for work."
"There's no need to apologize. If anything, I wish I knew what I was getting into sooner."
"Hue? What do you mean?"
"Well…" He leans into her ear and whispers something I can't hear. When he draws his head back, I can hear Komari-san's excitement.
"Really?! We can live together?"
"EEH?!" Rin and I exclaim at the same time.
"We'll have to find a place first," Kyousuke elaborates, "But this plan should work towards my benefit…and by extension, yours, Kamikita-san. No…Komari-chan."
"E-EEEEEEEEEEH~?!" Komari-san's surprise drowns out our own. I think now is a good time to let them be.
"Come on, Rin," I address her. "We should let them talk."
She nods in hasty agreement, but Kyousuke stops us. "Just a minute, you two. No matter what happens, don't tell the other Busters about this."
"Eh?" I protest, "but Kyousuke…"
He looks at me with serious eyes. "Riki, they must not know. Please, tell no one."
I couldn't understand why I should keep such news a secret, but Kyousuke always has a good reason. I want to see Kyousuke and Komari-san happy together. If that means keeping a secret, I will do whatever it takes.
"Alright," I nod. "Your secret is safe with us. Right, Rin?"
Rin doesn't seem to understand either, but she nods anyway. The jingle in her bell accessory sounds a little hollow. We might need to check that out.
As we head back towards the school, Rin pulls on my shirt sleeve. She seems to want to say something.
"What?" I whisper.
"I think we should at least tell Sasasegawa-san," Rin suggests.
"Why's that?"
"Well…she might be wondering where Komari-chan is. I think she would understand."
I'm inclined to agree. It might be against Kyousuke's wishes, but I think communicating with each other would make things less complicated. After all…I think Komari-san wouldn't want us to be bothered about her.
