Desclaimer: I own nothing.
A/N: This is how I truly think Karma's mind works... Any feedback is always welcome :) Oh, and It's been years since I wrote a fic, but these two... yeah :)
The soft knock on her bedroom door made Amy raise her eyes from her science book spread on the bed, her mother had been mostly leaving her alone at nights and Lauren was out. An annoyed "yeah" expecting her mother, slipped from her mouth and the door opened to reveal a tear stained Karma. Amy immediately shot up and off the bed "Karma? Are you OK? Is your dad…?" she asked, obviously worried after the previous night at the hospital. "He's fine. It's not…" The red haired was quick to reassure. "I… I can't lose you Amy." Karma said as she moved to sit on the very edge of the bed looking at the still standing blonde.
Amy was fighting her need for self-preservation and her undying need to make her best friend feel OK. Since neither won, she was just starring, waiting for Karma to continue. "There are 3 people I can't stand to lose, my parents and you. I can't just walk away from your life". Her eyes were pleading with the blonde to say something. "Karms, I… I don't know what to say…" Amy mumbled " I… I can't just forget how I feel… It hurts. I'm here for you, if you need me for something. I really am. But I can't keep…" but Karma didn't let her continue, she came prepered. "We can do this. I can do this. I can't lose you!"
"What are saying? What's this?" She was a little confused "Us – this?"
"Well yeah" Karma replied and continued "I know you're trying to get over me, but it isn't working and we can't just be friends… so yeah". She was smiling, expecting Amy to be ecstatic with the news, but she really wasn't.
Amy was pissed! "Are you insane?" Amy bellowed.
"What?"
"You wanna PITY date me because you can't be my best friend without hurting me? What's wrong with you?" Amy was pacing the room infuriated. "Are you actually trying to make me let you fake it again?"
"No. It won't be like that." Karma pleaded.
"Then how will it be? Enlighten me… Cause that's exactly what you're asking here…"
"I DON'T KNOW. OK? You're my best friend. You're everything. And all of a sudden you're this girl I'm supposed to politely wave hello at from the other end of the room ". This was coming out all wrong and Karma knew it. Amy had sat on the bed starring at her like she was the devil itself. "Let me start again. Please." Amy raised her eyebrows signaling her to continue but every inch of her face was yelling to tread carefully so Karma tried her best. "I know it's not fair to you. I know you're all deep inside of this already. But I'm not. I never let myself be, because losing you is like the worst thing in the world. So no. I never actually considered the 'us' thing. Because if there's an 'us' I could lose you. And I can't lose you. But now no matter what I do, I lose you. So I can think about it because thinking about it doesn't make me lose you. Does that make sense?"
Amy was laughing now, she wasn't sure if out of anger, confusion or how cute her best friend looked making zero sense. "No Karma it actually doesn't… I have absolutely no idea what you're trying to say…"
Karma took a deep breath and tried one more time. "I liked kissing you." She said calmly and saw Amy smile so she went on. "I don't know what it means. I'm not afraid of dating a girl Amy. I don't actually know if I'd like it but I'm not afraid of trying it. I was scared shitless of dating you though. Because this isn't something I'm sure about. And that means that I can find out that I don't like it. Or I like it just not enough, and I'd lose my best friend. I know… I know it's a lot to ask. I know I'm asking you to put your heart on the line. But my heart's there too. Because if this doesn't work out. Well I already know what it's like not to have you there for three months, and trust me I am REALLY not looking forward to that.
Amy was confused but there was one point she needed more clarification on "You liked kissing me?"
Now that some of the tension was gone Karma laughed a little "Yeah dufos. You're a great kisser."
"This is weird" The blond muttered.
Karma however wasn't done talking about kissing. "You never REALLY kissed me though. I mean you kissed me but at first it was for show. And you kissed me once in the threesome but we were both super nervous. And then I was so pissed off when you kissed Liam I hardly remember anything else" Karma was now the one nervously walking the room and avoiding eye contact at all costs. "And I'm sorry but I really don't remember the pool kiss" she glanced up at Amy in apology, "so I'm sorry. But yeah, they don't count. And on that subject, if we're dating you're not kissing anyone else. Which is also very confusing by the way because I think I was more pissed off that you were kissing Liam than Liam kissing you. And I REALLY didn't like Reagan kissing you".
"Karma. I need time." The blonde surprised herself with her own resolve. "You're asking for a lot here. And I just….I need time." Karma was jealous. That was the only thing actually making her consider this.
"Fine. Yeah. OK. Umm" she was turning around on the spot trying to understand what she's supposed to do for a moment deciding on leaving but not knowing if she's supposed to hug or kiss or maybe just wave her goodbye.
Amy solved the problem for her. Standing up and pulling Karma in for a warm embrace.
"You have my number" Karma teased lightly but humorously into Amy's shoulder "Bye Ams" and she let go.
"Goodnight Karma" Amy replied still smelling Karma's shampoo around her.
TBC?