"Aw shit", say Ed, punching the ground, "you have to sacrifice humans to make a philosopher stone"
"Great- a use for Donald Trump", exclaimed Al
"Good idea, Alphonse! We'll sacrifice Donald Trump and his supporters", Ed yay-ed, "but how do you catch a capitalist?"
"Right, Scar, do you know what to do?" Edward ask, excitedly. The serial killer nodded. Ed stood back.
"MEXICAN!" he shouted at the top of his lungs, "ILLEGAL MEXICAN ALIEN"
Almost immediately, Trump and his cronies had arrived. Ed grabbed the twonk by the man-weave and held him down. "damn, let's cut his hair first Al, I could do with this kick ass weave"
"Concentrate, Edward", Al groaned, holding down a stray Texan. "Do the transmutation"
Edward did the naughty naughty taboo kinky alchemy.
"Awe yeh, we got philosopher stone", say Ed, gluing Trump's hair onto his own.
"Now we can get our bodies back, Nii-san", Al say
"I got better idea", say Ed, rolling a joint, "let's get philosopher stoned"
"Blaze it, brother", say Alphonse, inhaling the sweet philosopher weed only to remember he was made of FUCKING METAL and he cri.