(I awake with a pounding headache and a giant smile on my face)
Me: Ugh, my head! Best… birthday… ever!
Kanan: (waking up) I had a lot of fun.
(I sit up and notice Ezra and Fluttershy passed out on the billiards table, Jack Cayman on the couch with a lampshade on his head and Skye sleeping on top of Chase)
Kanan: Wow, things got pretty wild, huh?
Me: Yeah, but we can clean this up in no time. We'll just need the pups' help.
Kanan: Chase and Skye are already here, so we'll need the others.
Me: Right. I'll look for Rubble and Zuma. You look for Rocky and Marshall.
Kanan: Got it.
(Kanan and I split up to look for the other pups)
Megamind: Crossover Edition
Chapter 1: Megamind Escapes!
The sun is setting on the horizon of Metro City as a figure is falling along with an infuser-like gun. The figure is revealed as a blue-skinned, large-headed man in a leather form-fitting suit named Megamind. We begin hearing his voice-over.
"Here's my day so far: went to jail, lost the girl of my dreams and got my butt kicked pretty good. Still, things could be a lot worse." Megamind narrates as he falls to his death. "Oh, that's right… I'm falling to my death. Guess they can't. How did it all come to this, you ask? My end starts at the beginning, the very beginning!" The sun flashes as we now see Megamind as a baby. "Yes, that's me. I had a fairly standard childhood. I'm from what you might call a broken home, literally broken." His mother quickly picked him up and ran. "I was eight days old and still living with my parents. How sad is that?! Clearly it was time to move on." She passes baby Megamind to his father as he places him in an escape pod.
"Here is your Minion. He will take care of you." Megamind's mother tells him.
"And here is your binky." Megamind's father said as he places the binky into Megamind's mouth before he utters his final words to his son. "You are destined for…" The ship closes, preventing Megamind from what he has to hear about his destiny. The ship begins to take off.
"I didn't quite hear that last part, but it sounded important. Destined for… what? I set out to find my destiny." After Megamind's ship was launched from the blue planet, another one took off from an orange planet. "It turns out a kid from the Glaupunkt Quadrant had the exact same idea." As both ships raced through an asteroid field, while the gold ship (baby Metro Man's ship) flawlessly jettisoned straight through the asteroids, Megamind's ship bounced off the asteroids like a pinball hitting bumpers. Once Megamind hits the glass to his ship, he notices baby Metro Man in the gold ship, clad in a white onesie.
"That was the day I met Mr. Goody Two-Shoes. And our glorious rivalry was born!" Once the ships exit the asteroid field, they approached their destination: Earth. Baby Megamind's ship is seen heading towards a large beautiful house. "Could this be what I was destined for? A dream life filled with luxury?" It looks like baby Megamind's ship is about to crash, but the gold ship knocks it off course before crashing into the beautiful house, flawlessly landing underneath a Christmas tree. "Apparently not! Even fate picks its favorites. No big deal. A much different fate awaited me." Megamind's ship ends up crashing into the Metro City Prison. A couple finds baby Metro Man and a woman picks him up from the ship and holds him in her hands.
"A baby! How thoughtful." The woman, Lady Scott, says as she tickles the infant Metro Man.
"Oh, yes, yes. I saw it and thought of you." Her husband Lord Scott told her while reading his paper.
In the prison yard, Megamind's ship canopy falls off, revealing the infant and Minion to the inmates crowding around and looking at him. "Luckily I found a lovely little place to call home."
"Can we keep it?" One prisoner asked the others.
Inside a prison cell, one of the prisoners shows him picture cards of a policeman and a burglar. They shake their head while showing the policeman, encouraging Megamind to do the same. And the prisoners nod upon showing the burglar. This is how he learned what's good and what's bad (in the opposite way). "A place that taught me the differences between right and wrong. Mr. Goody Two-Shoes on the other hand had life handed to him on a silver platter."
With the Scotts, baby Metro Man flies around the ceiling, towing Lady Scott. "Our baby can fly!"
Lord Scott continues to read the paper. "Yes, yes, nothing but the best for you, darling."
"The power of flight, invulnerability and great hair!" Megamind continues narrating. "But I had something far, far greater. My amazing intellect! A knack for building objects of mayhem." He shows his superb genius level by building a tricycle with a mounted laser out of license plates, steel rods and his binky. He rides through the prison in the tricycle with Minion and a few prisoners joining him. He shoots a lightning blast from his binky before stopping right in front of the warden, causing the prisoners to double back and run from him.
"After a few years and with some time off for good behavior, I was given an opportunity to better myself through learning at a strange place called 'shool'." Megamind as a child is being escorted out of the prison by two officers and taken to a nearby school. "It was there that I once again ran into Mr. Goody Two-Shoes. He had already amassed a gigantic army of soft headed groupies." As he and Minion are escorted inside, he saw a young Metro Man spinning the teacher's desk with his hands with the teacher herself on top of the desk. He places the desk down behind him and he, the teacher and the other students see Megamind and Minion. Though Minion did not look happy, Megamind saw this as a way to get along with others.
Young Metro Man showed off his skills by heating up popcorn with his laser vision, making everyone but Megamind cheer happily. "He bought their affections with showmanship and extravagant gifts of deliciousness. So I too would make this poppet corn and win over those mindless drones."
Back in the prison, Megamind is drawing schematics for his popcorn device as the warden calls lights out. The lights to his cell go out. Thankfully, he uses the binky given to him as a light. The next day, Megamind puts his device to the test. But once he turns it on, the corn explodes, causing a fire, which Metro Man sucks in the flames, putting it out. As Megamind panics to shut off his device, Metro Man picks him up and places him in the corner while the teacher rewards him with a gold star. "That's when I learned a very hard lesson. Good receives all the praise and adulation while evil is sent to quiet time in the corner. So fitting in wasn't really an option." We see a class picture with Megamind and Minion isolated from the others. Next, Megamind sits alone with Minion as Metro Man plays Itsy Bitsy Spider on a ukulele as the other children sing along with him. Megamind uses a dehydrator gun on Minion, turning him into a glowing cube and pours a drop of water on the cube, turning Minion back. Minion faked being dead before Megamind tapped his glass bubble. Despite being isolated from the class, he was happy being with Minion. "While they were learning Itsy Bitsy Spider, I learned to dehydrate inanimate objects and rehydrate them at will. Some days, it felt like it was just me and Minion against the world." Outside, Metro Man is choosing members for a dodgeball team and the ones remaining are Megamind and a lazy-eyed girl with a broken leg. He chooses the girl over Megamind after careful thinking as she joins Metro Man and the others. "No matter how hard I tried, I was always the odd man out. The last one picked. The screw up, the black sheep…" One of the kids yell "Get him!" and they pelt him with dodgeballs while calling him names like "freak" and "weirdo". "…the bad boy." The next day, Megamind was prepared. He puts on a spiked helmet with his binky adorned at the top. Metro Man and the other kids prepare to bombard him with dodgeballs again, but an electromagnetic field sends the dodgeballs flying everywhere. One breaks the window and another hits the warden on the back of the head as he was about to unlock his car. Another dodgeball was about to hit the teacher, but Metro Man flies in front of her and takes the hit, feeling no sort of pain.
Back inside, Metro Man is rewarded another gold star, joining his four other gold stars while Megamind stands in the corner, contemplating on what he did. "Was this my destiny?" That's when it hit him. "Wait… maybe it was! Being bad is the one thing I'm good at. Then it hit me: if I was the bad boy, then I was going to be the baddest boy of them all!"
(Cue song: George Thorogood and the Destroyers – Bad to the Bone)
Megamind then grabs a few household cleaners and sets off a chemical explosion with them. Megamind is then taken back to the prison, but unlike the last times he was taken there, he had a big smile on his face as he watches Metro Man stick his tongue out at him. "I was destined to be a supervillain, and we were destined to be rivals!" Metro Man rips the entire school from the ground with the class cheering from inside and flies off with it in the opposite direction. "The die had been cast! And so began an enduring epic lifelong career… and I LOVED IT!"
Then we see a gallery of newspaper articles that feature Megamind's battle with Metro Man. "Our battles quickly got more elaborate. He would win some, I would almost win others! He took the name Metro Man, defender of Metrocity! I decided to pick something a little more humble: Megamind, incredibly handsome criminal genius and master of all villainy!"
Elsewhere, a gathering of heroes are conversing at the Metro City Airport. They've decided to go on vacation after six months of hard work and they just arrived in Metro City. And their timing couldn't be any more perfect. Today just so happens to be Metro Man Day. And what better way to celebrate than the opening of the Metro Man Museum. As they wait for their ride to the museum, ZPD Officer Nick Wilde decided to strike up some conversation about the big day. "So, Sly, when we get to the Metro Man Museum, I think it's high time we meet our old friend Metro Man."
"Yeah, he's been in Metro City after all these six months, now we're going to the museum!" Parisian master thief Sly Cooper replies.
"Bomb better be careful, though. The last time he went into a museum, it didn't end well, especially in the annual hero thanksgiving feast." Angry Bird Chuck, joined by Red and Bomb, stated.
"I was hungry and excited, ok?!" Bomb tells the others.
"Bomb… sometimes, you make me annoyed about food." Red admitted.
"Speaking of food, after this, wanna get pizza?" Martial arts prodigy Kim Wu asks everyone else. This made Red and Bomb daydream about it.
"Pizza…" Red sighs happily.
"Pepperoni…" Bomb sighs along with his fellow Angry Bird.
"Ok, ok, enough food for thought." Judy Hopps says. "Let's head to the museum. Our ally is waiting for us."
"Heheh, clever bunny." Jack Cayman chuckles.
"Strong man." Judy replies, giving Jack his nickname.
Back at the prison, the warden approaches Megamind's special cell with a small present held behind his back. He sees the guard reading the paper with the headline reading "Metro Man Museum Opening!"
"Read on your own time. Open up." The warden commands the guard to open the window to Megamind's special cell. The warden looks inside and sees a revolving chair turn to reveal no one.
"Hey!" The warden thought he escaped until…
"Boo!" Megamind pops up on the window, scaring the Warden. Megamind laughs in delight as he sits in the revolving chair. Warden looks quite unhappy at the trick. "Oh, good morning, Warden. Great news: I'm a changed man and… and I'm ready to re-enter society as a solid citizen."
"You're a villain! And you'll always be a villain. You'll never change and you'll never leave." Warden tells the blue-skinned heel.
"You're fun." Megamind responds.
"You got a present in the mail." The Warden reveals the gift before opening it in front of Megamind.
"Is it a puppy?" Megamind asks playfully. The present contained a wristwatch and a gold-framed card.
"From Metro Man. 'To count every second of your eighty-five life sentences.' That's funny. Never thought Metro Man was the gloating type. Oh, but he does have nice taste." The Warden reads the card, tosses it away and puts on the watch. "I think I'll keep it."
"Any chance you could give me the time? I don't want to be late for the opening of the Metro Man Museum." Megamind requested.
The Warden looks at the watch. "Oh no. Looks like you're gonna miss it, by several thousand years." He walks away.
"Oh, am I?" Megamind asks as he starts laughing evilly.
Downtown, a lone figure tunes the radio before hearing a woman's voice. "Happy Metro Man Day, Metro City. It's a beautiful day in beautiful Downtown where we're here to honor a beautiful man: Metro Man. His heart is an ocean that's inside a bigger ocean. For years he's been watching us with his super vision, saving us with his super strength, and caring for us with his super heart. Now it's our turn to give something back. This is Roxanne Ritchie, reporting live from the dedication of the Metro Man museum." Roxanne signals the cameraman, Hal Stewart to cut.
"Wow! Okay, the stuff they make you read on-air, that's un-freaking-believable. It's crazy." Hal commented.
"I wrote that piece myself, Hal." Roxanne states.
Hal turns around nervously. "What I was trying to say was I can't believe that in our modern society, they let, like actual art get onto the news." Hal manages to change his statement.
"Nice save, Hal."
"What are we…? Like, let's just get a coffee or something." Hal suggests, almost like he wants to get out of his work in a hurry.
"Come on, it's time to get in the Metro Man Day spirit." Roxanne tells him.
"Well, if I were Metro Man, Megamind wouldn't be kidnapping you all the time. That's the first thing." Hal tells her.
"That's sweet, Hal." Roxanne sighs.
"And I'd be watching you, like a dingo watches a human baby." Hal continues to rant, but realizes something about what he said. "Ok, that sounded… Ok, that sounded a little weird."
"A little bit, yeah." Roxanne agrees.
"And you're making a weird face, and that's making me feel weird." Hal begins ranting, not noticing the invisible car drive up to Roxanne. "The point is I would watch you like someone…" The driver side window opens and the figure sprays a sleep gas at Roxanne, knocking her out. The figure quickly pulls her in the invisible car as the car drives away, hitting a man holding a bunch of balloons, causing him to let go out of surprise. "…Not love. We're not in love. I'm not saying I love you. Hey, I love you. Whatever. But I'm not saying like I'm in love with you. I'm saying…" Once Hal turns around, he notices that Roxanne is gone. "Roxanne? Roxaroo?"
Back inside the prison, as the warden walks forcefully through the cellblock, the watch he's wearing scans him and disguises him as Megamind. The prisoners in their cells are in shock as to how "Megamind" escaped.
"Whoa… what?"
"Hey…"
"Get back to work. The city doesn't pay you to loaf." "Megamind" commanded. The guards had believed the real Megamind had escaped.
"Freeze!" The guards shout to "Megamind", about to apprehend him.
"Whoa. What are you doing guys? It's me!" "Megamind" informs them before being tasered. "It's the warden."
"Hey! Open up!" The guards command as the solitary cell door opens up and they place "Megamind" inside and on the chair, not noticing the real Megamind take the watch, put it on and slip away. The disguise wears off, revealing the Warden.
"No, you fools." The warden said groggily. "He's tricked us."
"You were right." Megamind admits before turning on the disguiser, turning himself into the warden. "I'll always be a villain." He laughs evilly as he skips out of jail like a happy schoolgirl on the first day of summer. He salutes the patrolman at the gate, who salutes back. He notices the same invisible car that was seen downtown as the passenger side window opens, revealing Minion as the driver.
"Well, hello, good looking." Minion greets the "Warden" before opening the door. "Need a lift?"
"Certainly do, you fantastic fish, you." "Warden" grins as he enters the invisible car.
"Get in the car, you." Minion said as he makes a full U-turn and speeds off with the "Warden", surprising the guard. The "Warden" adjusts the watch to turn off the disguiser, revealing him to be the real Megamind. "Right?"
"Nice work sending me the watch, Minion." Megamind compliments Minion.
"You got it, boss." Minion says as he hits the gas, heading towards downtown Metro City.
"Punch it!" Megamind shouts as the car approaches Metro City, ready to ruin Metro Man Day for everyone, Metro Man and the city's visitors included.
(After waking up the pups, we were able to clean the entire base with their help)
Me: Whew! All done.
Marshall: We sure made a mess of things, huh?
Rocky: Yeah. Good thing you and Kanan woke us up. It would've taken you days to clean it all up on your own.
Me: Heh-heh. I guess you're right about that, Rocky. But I heard about this snowstorm that's supposed to last until tomorrow morning. The base will be heavily coated in snow before you know it.
Chase: Don't worry. I'm sure Everest will help out once we tell her.
Kanan: Everest?
Chase: She's a husky and our snow and mountain rescue pup.
Me: Well, what are you waiting for? Call her and tell her to come here. We could really use some help, especially with the snowstorm that's coming.
Rubble: We're on it!
(The pups leave to call Everest)
Me: Well, I better go, Kanan. This story won't upload itself. You readers may leave a review and I'll see you all next time. Archer out!