Rozen: So Karkat venting a bit. Pretty sure people need to do this once in a while when they feel like there's nothing else to do at the moment. Where I'm am the weather is quite deperessing so I guess that's where this idea came from. I don't own anything. Belongs to Hussie. Please forgive the OOC and mistakes in here. AU too.
Two words.
Fucking bastard!
His words were 'I'll always be there' or 'I'll never leave you'. Fucking bullshit now. The biggest lie of all is when he kept saying 'I promise' after all those damn cheesy lines that I fucking fell for.
Here we are now. My ass sitting here typing away on here because Terezi thinks I need to find some way to let me anger out without actually saying it to anyone. This is the only thing that I can think of as of now, but I really don't care.
Those last words were a complete lie.
I do care.
I fucking care so much it is fucking ridiculous and pathetic. I am fucking ridiculous and pathetic. Why you ask?
Two words.
Sollux fucking Captor.
All this started because of him, and I'm left trying to end it, but it's not working at all. He was the one that started EVERY SINGLE THING AND I FELL FOR IT LIKE THE SAP I AM. First time he told me those simple three words I was shocked of course. I didn't know how to fucking respond because he was, dare I say it, a close and good friend. He said it with such embarassment that I found it quite cute.
Took me a while to gather me courage, but a month later I said the same three words to him.
I like you.
When I said them I didn't know what the hell was going to happen from there. We got together, our friends were happy for us, but there was a part of me that was really scared. I was scared because I kept thinking,
What if I don't really like him, and I'm lying to him?
What if I'm not good enough for him?
What would my family say when I told them about us?
He wasn't the most handsome person someone would go out with. He was a nerd, not that fit, a little crazy, and when we first met I was scared at how crazy he was. Over the year though, all we did was talk to each other. non-stop and I loved it so much. Never in my teenage life have I talked to the same person for so long with so many conversations about everything and anything.
It was honestly a fucking dream come true. I was happy.
I was happy because as I kept getting closer to him, I kept falling for him as well. More and more I was wanting him more, and I wanted to be selfish and keep him all to myself. I was happy being with him, and I believed he was happy with me.
It was all a lie.
He fucking broke all his promises to me, and lied in my fucking face like the asshole he is. First he goes and ignores me for a month. His sorry ass excuse being I don't use my phone a lot anymore.
FUCKING.
BULLSHIT.
IF YOU CAN UPDATE YOUR FUCKING STATUSES AND TALK TO YOUR FUCKING LAME ASS FRIENDS THEN YOU CAN DO A SIMPLE TEXT WITHING A MINUTE. BUT NO, HE DECIDED NOT TO AND I'M LEFT LOOKING LIKE AN IDIOT WHEN PEOPLE COME UP TO ME AND TELL ME THINGS.
HOW FUCKING SAD IS THAT. I HAVE TO HEAR THINGS ABOUT YOU FROM OTHER PEOPLE THAN FROM YOU.
Then after that you BARELY start replying back to me saying you do want me to come over. Well when I fucking got there YOU IGNORE ME LIKE SOME CHEAP PIECE OF SHIT. WHAT IN THE FUCKING HELL IS THAT SHIT!
THEN YOU TELL ME NOTHING SO I GET THE HINT THAT YOU DON'T EVEN WANT TO BE TOGETHER ANYMORE. IT DOESN'T TAKE A FUCKING GENIUS TO SEE IT.
I could've been such a bitch about it in so many ways to make you feel like the shittest person to ever walk the earth, but you know what I did. FUCKING NOTHING THATS WHAT!
I wiped your tears away saying it's fine, gave you one last kiss, and then left. Nothing more and nothing less. How pathetic can I get? Here he is fucking breaking my heart and I go and make it seem like it was my fault or something WHEN IT CLEARLY WASN'T.
Now here I am typing away because it seems like I can't get over the fucker. Now, some other person keeps trying to get with me and all I keep thinking is 'I don't want you. I will never want you. Ever.' The shit head can't get any of the hints and leave me the hell alone. Everytime he talks to me it's an attempt to woo me and whenever he says something I want that fucking bastard to tell me that shit again.
How sad.
I know.
Pathetic is what I am. There is no point to keep this going. I never wanted it to end. He's always in my mind. The rare times we did talk and hang out I wanted to pretend we were together again. Even if it would hurt me more in the end I still wanted to believe there was still some hope that maybe we can get back together again, and be happy.
I can't stop imagining the moments we had together.
The hugs.
The times he comforted me.
The kisses.
Now it's all gone.
And I fucking hate it.
I hate him.
...
No.
I love him...
Rozen: Sooooo yeah... Review and tell me what you think? I will be so grateful if you did :3