Thanks
Pairing: Faberry
Summary: Quinn surprises Rachel with a visit a few years into University. Rachel's not quite sure what the blonde's doing in New York, but Quinn just wants to thank her.
Spoilers: If you squint, you'll see a bit of Hold On To Sixteen.
Disclaimer: I do not own, oh, but what I would do if I did.
"Hey, Rachel."
The petite brunette swung around at the voice. She'd been on her way through the park and up a set of stairs, thinking about all the things she had to do before her show tonight. There was her costume that needed picking up – it had required dry cleaning after an unfortunate accident two nights before when a stage hand had been touching up a part on the set and got a noticeable splash of paint on her – as well as hopefully grabbing something quick to eat. She'd only been in New York for a couple of years, but had luckily managed to grab a small part in a local play. It wasn't Broadway or anything extravagant, but it was a stage, with lights and applause, and that was enough for Rachel.
"Quinn? What are you doing here?"
Her voice shook slightly at the shock. She had expected to see plenty of people tonight, none of which were the blonde girl who now stood at the bottom of the steps. Her hair had grown out, Rachel noticed, twisted into a side braid, and perfectly suited the blue hat she wore.
A small smile twisted onto Quinn's features. "I heard you were performing tonight. I was in town. Thought I'd come see you," she shrugged.
That was a lie, though. Well, she had heard that Rachel had a show now, singing, acting, and dancing around a stage to pay her bills, but she hadn't been in town. A phone call from one Noah Puckerman, (a throwaway comment of "Kurt told Finn, who told me, that Rachel's in some show now. Supposed to be pretty great") was all it took for her to get herself down to New York for a weekend.
"But… I don't understand. What are you doing here?" Rachel repeated. While they had grown a little closer in their senior year, she never thought it warranted a surprise visit.
"We're kind of friends, huh?" Quinn smiled, saying the same words Rachel had uttered after Sectionals just a few years ago.
Rachel dipped her head a bit, noticing the choice of words as well, and in a small voice replied, "Yeah… we are. I mean, kind of hard not to bond with your biological mother's adoptive daughter's birth mother. I'm sure there's a proper term for that."
Quinn laughed and sat down beside Rachel's feet on the stairs, who quickly followed suit.
Not too long ago, the mention of Beth and Shelby would have felt like a slap in the face for Quinn. A reminder of what she lost, gave up, failed at. But with time, and a little help, she'd begun to accept that Beth would never truly be hers again. And that was something the girl needed.
Besides, she'd seen her every now and then. With a little pursuance from Rachel back in senior year, after the whole "Get Beth Back At Any Cost" fiasco, Shelby had allowed Quinn back in Beth's life. It had been hard, allowing Puck to be a father figure, and not letting Quinn have the same chance. After some ground rules were set, Quinn was allowed back into the Corcoran household, and back into Beth's life.
It was better this way. Quinn got to grow up, she got to truly live, but she was still able to see her one perfect thing. And maybe she couldn't have her, raise her, be there for every first, but she still got to see Beth. At most times, that was enough.
Rachel shook her head and frowned a little.
"But really, what are you doing here? I know our friendship developed a couple years ago, but other than that party last summer at Mike's parents' house, I haven't really seen or heard from you."
"It's hard to stay in touch when we're all scattered across the country," Quinn's voice took on a regretful tone. However, Rachel simply laughed.
"Ever heard of something called 'The Internet," Quinn? Or phones?"
"Didn't really think you'd want to hear from me." Quinn's gaze drifted to the lights wrapped around the trees lining the park. It was almost Christmas time.
"Why not?"
"I just…" Quinn's brows drew down as she pulled her lip between her teeth. Her next words came out in a whispered rush, "I just missed you, Rachel. You… Life hasn't been the same without you bossing people around, and claiming solo's left, right, and centre. That felt kind of like… coming home. Comforting. I've missed that."
"Coming home?" Rachel squeaked.
Quinn flushed a little as she looked down at her shoes. She hadn't been completely aware of what was coming out of her mouth.
"All of Glee," she tried to rectify, "it was like coming home when you walked in that choir room."
"Oh," Rachel sighed as her eyes moved down to where Quinn's hands were tightly clasped together. "We have to find new homes, Quinn."
"I know. But… maybe that's just the one part of Lima I want to hold onto."
Rachel smiled. Quinn had come a long way.
"How's NYADA?" the blonde asked, an overly bright smile on her face as she looked up at Rachel again.
"Really good. I feel challenged here, and I love it. Having to work so hard for something. The reward always pays off. And, plus, you know, having Kurt here with me is nice. Other than him and Blaine, I don't see much of the old New Directions gang."
Quinn's face softened as she took in the brunette's attitude. She could remember when Rachel had to practically scream before she felt like anyone heard her. And while she may currently attend a school with plenty of other Rachel Berry's running around, she understood now when to stand and when to sit. When to fight for a spotlight, and when someone else deserved it more. She'd grown up a lot.
"Well, everyone went off to get their own dreams, Rachel."
"I'm glad they did," she whispered as she tucked her hair behind her ear.
She was proud of their group and how they'd all found their dreams, their passions, and went for them. Not letting anything stand in the way. At one point Rachel thought she might be the only one who fought hard enough for it, but then she came to understand the mis-matched group, and she watched them all fight for their own dreams. She was glad they were all getting what they wanted in life.
Quinn's wonder-laced voice broke Rachel from her thoughts, "Still can't believe I got into Yale."
"You were always more talented than you believed."
A small laugh escaped Quinn. "Met someone kind of like you there. She thinks she's the best damn thing to ever happen to that school, but she doesn't have your compassion. She just thinks she's amazing. To be honest, you're much better. Which is why you're here, and she's not."
Rachel dipped her head as she tried to catch Quinn's eye. "I'm serious, Quinn. You were always so great. You just needed to believe in yourself a little more."
"Never as talented as you though," the blonde smiled shyly.
"Well, of course not, you lacked my years of training. But you were always more than you thought. In everything."
Things were quiet for a moment. The lights on the trees twinkled, and a soft snow had begun to fall.
"Look, Rachel, I just… I missed you," Quinn stated, looking up finally to meet the brunette's eyes. Rachel noticed a small desperation that clung to the hazel, and realized how sincere she was being. After everything that happened in their lives, Quinn Fabray truly missed her.
"I missed you, too, Quinn."
"It sounds weird saying it now, or probably ever, but I think you were my best friend in highschool."
The brunette cocked her head, not fully understanding.
Quinn continued before Rachel could even form a response, "I mean, there you were, seemingly self-centred, but… you cared about me more than anyone else did. More than Finn, more than Puck." She gave a small hollow laugh, "more than my own parents, really."
"What about Brittany and Santana?" Surely Quinn's fellow Cheerio's were closer with her than Rachel had been.
"Ah, The Unholy Trinity. We were friends, but, come on, they were always a little more concerned with each other."
"They still together?"
"Yeah."
"That's nice."
Quinn hummed her approval and looked over at Rachel. Her gaze had drifted off to stare at the coloured lights again. She always found it hard looking a person in the eye when she felt vulnerable, but she tried. She could lie like a pro, truth came harder.
"You saved me," Quinn started. "From others. From myself. You just… you saved me. No one ever cared to do that but you. Puck had an easy enough time pointing out my flaws, but he couldn't help me. Only you could."
"Quinn, I…" Rachel's words faded before they even made their way out of her mouth.
"Rachel… I never hated you. I thought I did, but I just admired you. Your determination… the way you always knew what was best. And maybe it took a little bit, but you even learned to step back from the spotlight when you knew someone else needed to shine.
"People underestimated you, you know? They thought you were only about this big dream, but you cared. More than anyone else in that Glee club. When Kurt was going through everything, you tried your best to lend a helping hand. When Mercedes was feeling worthless, you let her take the stage and outshine you. You made Finn believe in himself. And me. You let me know that there was more for my life than getting Beth back."
Quinn shifted so she was more facing the brunette than not. "You helped me get back on the right track. And Rachel… thank you for that. Thank you for caring more than anyone else."
"I just… I didn't want you to make a mistake." Rachel's voice was small as she took in the intensity of Quinn's gaze.
"And because of you, I didn't."
The blonde snapped her head to the side to look back out at the lights, effectively breaking the moment. Then she sighed, and rubbing her hands along her thighs, stood up. "You have a show, and I don't want you to be late."
Rachel's hand shot into her pocket to pull out her phone and looked at the time. A small part of her noted that she wouldn't be eating any dinner tonight. She felt like she should be more concerned with whether she would be late or not, but she wasn't ready to let Quinn go yet.
Pocketing her phone again, she looked up at Quinn, who had been standing in front of her, just looking at the brunette. "I really missed you, too, Quinn. I mean it."
Quinn simply smiled.
"You'll still be here after the show?" Rachel questioned. It might not end up being as pure as these past moments with her, but she didn't want to say goodbye.
"Of course. You'll be wanting praise, I suspect?"
"You can tell me if I did well or exceptional."
"Probably exceptional," Quinn said in a quiet voice. She reached out her hand and helped pull Rachel to her feet. Even when they were both sure-footed, they didn't let go of their hands, and they held them between them.
"Thank you, Rachel."
"For letting you judge my performance?" Rachel smiled, knowing that wasn't what the blonde was looking for, but not being able to resist.
Quinn's grin grew larger as she ducked her head, but it settled into a nervous pull as she looked back into Rachel's eyes. Her grip clenched slightly on Rachel's hand. The other in her pocket, probably balled in a fist.
"For being you."
Rachel observed the conflict that flashed through Quinn's eyes as the blonde stepped forward into her personal bubble. Their clasped hands coming to a rest against Quinn's coat.
Any confused thoughts Rachel had came to a halt as Quinn lowered her head slightly, and to the corner of her lips, pressed a small kiss. As she pulled away she breathed quietly, "Good luck tonight."
For years to come, Rachel would always regret how her eyelids had fluttered closed when Quinn leaned in. And more so, how they hadn't opened immediately after, effectively missing the look of care and affection on the slightly taller girl's face.
What had caused her to open her eyes was the scuffle of Quinn's shoes as she turned and walked away, dropping the brunette's hand. Through the coloured lights and the soft snow falling, Rachel watched the other girl's figure retreat into the darkness.
With no one but the night air for company, she lifted her hand to the spot Quinn just kissed, and with a slightly stunned look on her face, whispered, "Thanks."