I do not own Eureka. Of course I have happily taken liberties with my version.
Blame It On the Hormones
Chapter 1: It All Started With a Kiss
"Oh I'm sorry, excuse me."
Jack wiped the last dish dry, stretched over Allison's head and placed it back in the overhead cabinet. They'd just finished having dinner at her house–an occasion in which he thought he'd never get the chance to enjoy again. To tell the truth, he was surprised to get an invitation at all. Since he and Tess started seeing each other, Allison barely spent time with him anymore–not his choice of course. The only time they were together outside of work nowadays was when they both happened to be eating at Café Diem or he attended her child birthing classes.
After Allison found out she was pregnant she'd asked Jack to be her coach, and he'd gladly jumped at the chance–anything to be near her. Stark had been gone for close to a month by then and she again seemed like her old self. Of course she had been expected to go through a grieving period and at times when he looked at her, he knew her thoughts were with Start. The eyes he peered into almost everyday became glazed over and appeared far away.
Jack hated to admit this, but it had been a difficult and confusing time for him too. He felt conflicted about his emotions. The three years he'd lived in Eureka, he'd spent each and everyday pining away for the love of Allison Blake. No, he never told her directly how he felt, but he sensed that she knew and sometimes he thought his feelings were reciprocated. When she and Stark began to grow close again, Jack failed to seize the moment to declare his love. Yes, he had been hurt by her decision to resume a relationship with the man who had caused her so much pain, but what did he expect. He naturally assumed that Stark would go back to his old ways and the reconciliation wouldn't last. When Allison excepted Stark's marriage proposal, Jack was devastated. So, because he loved her more than he would or could ever admit, he let her go, or at least he convinced himself that he did.
When Stark died, Jack was again riddled with guilt as those same old feelings resurfaced. In actuality they had never truly gone away. At first he felt awkward and a bit uncomfortable around her. He never knew what to say, afraid of what may come out of his mouth. He knew she needed him–even if she'd never admit it. Allison prided herself on being a strong and independent woman. She never wanted to play the role of damsel in distress, which was a testament to her character. So he helped her the only way he knew how. He was a friend and confidant. Besides he'd made a promise. A promise to Nathan that he would watch over her and even though he'd never considered Stark a close friend, he would honor his request without question.
Of all the disagreements, traumas, and life-threatening situations they'd found themselves in, he and Allison had always remained close friends. If Jack couldn't have her as a lover, then this would have to suffice. If that relationship were to ever fall apart, he'd have been crushed. During the last five months, Jack made it a point to be there whenever she needed him. Even though she seldom asked.
So when she invited him over, he took it as a sign that things were finally back to normal between them. He was thrilled to at last be in her company once again. They were having a great time. Jack loved that he could have a serious conversation with her or he could just be silly. She got him and he couldn't say that about many women. But tonight, he thought she seemed...different. Though he couldn't exactly put his finger on what it was. There were times when he thought she was staring at him. More than likely it was all in his imagination.
Allison repeatedly glanced at Jack, which often turned into her staring at him from the corner of her eye. She was extremely nervous, not sure if she was doing the right thing. On the surface it all seemed very innocent but she couldn't help but think about what people would say. Nathan had been gone for five months and she missed him dearly, but she was also very lonely. Carter had been a constant in her life not only during the previous months but for the last three years.
She could always blame it on her hormones, but beneath the surface she was smart enough to know better. Truth was she wanted Jack Carter and not just in the biblical sense. She also knew that whatever this thing was between he and Tess was getting serious and she couldn't bear the thought of losing him. Allison knew she was being selfish and possibly a bit cruel. Carter had always put her happiness first, and without fail supported her decisions. Though he did voice his opinion, he never intervened when it came to her and Nathan. The worst part of all was that no matter the outcome, not only would her actions affect her relationship with Carter but also with Tess.
Allison and Tess had been friends for well over fifteen years. They'd met in graduate school and quickly became bosom buddies. It wasn't unusual for Allison to find herself one of only a handful of females in many of her advanced courses considering the field she'd chosen. The thing that riveted her the most about Tess, was that she was just as ambitious, outspoken and brilliant as she was. Traits that Tess confessed she'd noticed in Allison upon their first meeting also. For Allison being an only child, Tess was like the sibling she'd always wanted. The bond they created seemed unbreakable.
This is what made Allison's decision so difficult. Carter at last seemed to have found some resemblance of happiness. What kind of friend was she to put him in the position to choose? Maybe he no longer had those feelings for her. Maybe he felt it was too late for them to venture forward. What if he thought she was only pursuing him because he was all that was left, as if she were settling.
And what kind of friend was she being to Tess? Tess had never been lucky in love. Not that Allison had been either, but for different reasons. The love that Allison lost had not been of her own doing–not completely anyway. Her first husband Michael, Kevin's father, died in a car accident as he was coming home from a medical conference when Kevin was still a baby. When she and Nathan first separated she put most of the blame on him which was entirely not accurate. She'd had her faults too. That's why it was more of a shock to her than anyone else when they'd gotten back together.
In Tess' case, she just wasn't good at staying in relationships long term. She told Allison she usually felt tied down and trapped. So it was no surprise that her boyfriends lasted typically six months or less. Allison had the pleasure of meeting many of her former boyfriends and frankly she was worried. Tess' previous choices had been oddly similar. Her taste in men didn't vary much. They ranged from the handsome brainy type to the handsome brawny type. As one would guess, Tess had never come across anyone like Jack before. He was handsome, though not a genius, intelligent nonetheless. He was not brawny, but physically attractive. His well toned body the envy of many a male resident in town and fantasy of almost every female. Unlike her other men, Jack combined all these qualities, not to mention he was funny, brave, and sensitive. Tess seemed to like Jack a little to much for her liking.
Allison was taking a big risk by putting her plan in motion. She would either lose him, her or both. One thing Allison knew for sure was that she couldn't live like this anymore. So, late yesterday afternoon she shakily picked up the phone and called the station hoping that he hadn't left for home. She didn't want to take the chance of calling him there in case Tess was around.
"Jack Carter."
"Hey Carter...it's me, Allison."
Jack couldn't help but smile as if he didn't know her voice by now. "Hey Allison. What's up?"
"I was wondering..." Allison didn't know why she was so skittish, her sentence trailing off.
Greeted by silence, his antenna immediately went up. "Hello? Allison are you there?"
"I'm here. Sorry, I just thought I was receiving another call." She rolled her eyes skyward–what a lame ass excuse she thought.
When she spoke again, her words tumbled out in a mad rush. "I was just wondering if you'd like to come over for dinner tonight?"
"Oh! Um..."
Allison held her breath as she waited for his response.
"...I already have plans with Tess tonight."
"Oh."
Jack thought he heard disappointment in her voice but dismissed it as wishful thinking.
"Well, that's okay. I mean it is short notice after all. I should have known you'd be busy."
There was silence from both ends as they each waited for the other to speak.
Jack had mixed feelings. He was actually quite bummed by the fact he'd already made plans to meet Tess. Honestly, he felt awful about it. Truth was he missed hanging out with Allison and Kevin. Afraid that her offer was a one shot deal he proposed an alternative.
"How about tomorrow then?"
Elated he wanted to spend time with her, she welcomed the change of plans.
"Tomorrows great. How does seven sound?"
"Seven's perfect. Can I bring anything?"
Allison knew she was being bold, but she wanted to make her point clear. "No. I just want you."
"Okay. See ya then." As Jack went to place the handset in it's cradle, he paused. Her words were mystifying.
"No. I just want you."
Jack didn't know what to make of it. It wasn't merely the words she'd used, but the context in which she delivered them. It was almost as if she wasn't making a statement, but a declaration. Maybe he was putting to much emphasis on what she'd said or just projecting his own desires. Shaking his head, he dismissed the idea altogether, feeling quite foolish of his assumption.
So at seven p.m. sharp that Saturday he arrived at her doorstep gifts in hand. He hadn't exactly told Tess where he'd be tonight–she didn't ask. Besides, he didn't owe her an explanation. It wasn't as if they were married or anything. They were only dating and it wasn't that serious...yet. Jack wasn't sure why he never told her about he and Allison meeting for dinner. She'd said she would be working on a project that had fallen behind that afternoon and would be too tired to go out. He told her it was fine and not to worry about it. All in all, it kinda worked itself out. No matter how much he pretended that what Tess didn't know wouldn't hurt her, he knew better. He tried to put her out of his mind and focus on having a good time.
Allison jumped slightly when she heard the doorbell ring. She had been busy in the kitchen getting everything ready. She wanted it to be perfect, yet not appear that she'd put much effort into it. She thought she would scare him off if she went the romantic route, so she down played it. Table set, food prepared she took off her apron and went to answer the door. As her hand clutched the handle, a sudden wave of nausea passed over her. She wasn't aware of how long she stood there, the spell broken as the bell chimed once more.
Taken aback as the door abruptly swung open, his heart skipped a beat at the sight before him. She looked amazing. She had on a white silk shirtdress with asymmetrical tiers around the bottom. Her skin glowed in that unmistakable manner in which pregnant women often did–as if she had been kissed by the morning sun. Then she smiled and as always, something inside of him melted.
A temporary loss of his senses, he had to remember why he was here. The who he was currently dating, momentarily forgotten.
"Hi Carter. Come in."
"Hi. Wow you look. Wow!"
"Thank you." Her brow furrowed, she noticed the bottle in his right hand. "Uh, is that wine?"
"Oh, uh no. Non alcoholic sparkling champagne. I know you can't have the real thing, but we can make believe."
Jack entered and suddenly stopped short, turning to face her.
"Allison, I'm glad you called. I feel like we've been...out of sync lately. I mean, I know we see each other at work and in class, but we don't talk anymore."
"I know what you mean Carter. I miss you."
Jack didn't know how to respond. Did she mean she missed him as a friend or missed him, missed him?
Allison stared back. She too was at a lost for words. "Um...come in. Everything's just about ready."
"Well, whatever it is, it smells great."
Looking around Jack noticed one particular person's absence. "Where's Kevin?"
"He's sleeping over at a friends house."
"Oh. I thought he'd be here?" He gestured toward the item he held under his arm, a present for Kevin.
Allison felt a sharp pang in her chest. Oh God, he did misinterpret her invitation. Though she didn't come right out and say what she wanted, she'd hope he'd at least gotten the hint. Did he not want to be with her unaccompanied? If he didn't, was it because he no longer wanted her or was it because he didn't trust himself alone with her.
"No, it's just us. I hope that's okay?" Her eyes pleaded as she waited for his answer.
"Of course it's okay."
Then he smiled at her. Reassured, she returned his in kind. She couldn't help herself–he had one of the most drop-dead gorgeous, dazzlingly beautiful smiles she had ever seen.
Their moment of awkwardness over, the rest of their evening went on without a hitch. They talked about Zoë, Kevin, their parents and Jack's siblings. They joked and laughed about nothing in particular. The only stipulation was that the topic of work was off the table. Well, that wasn't exactly true. They conveniently managed to avoid the topic of Tess...but that didn't last long.
They were standing at the sink–Allison loaded the dishwasher, while Jack took care of the more delicate items. They had eaten off of china she'd received as a wedding present during her first marriage. China she only brought out for special occasions. And she deemed having dinner with Jack Carter, the most special occasion of all.
Allison watched him as he hand-washed and dried the dinnerware. His sleeves rolled up to his elbow, she noticed how his arms flexed with each pass. His skin was slightly tanned, the faint blond hairs on his arm barely visible. Unconsciously, she fiddled with the top button of her dress, noticing that she suddenly became uncomfortably warm. The bulbs overhead, more like spotlights than the eco-smart Eureka creations that currently rested inside the slots.
Allison knew he was saying something but all she could focus on was the way his mouth moved. She'd had the benefit of feeling them pressed upon hers once before. In an attempt to make Nathan jealous in order to save the town, he kissed her. Their brief albeit passionate kiss, was like none she'd ever had as a shock wave traveled straight from his lips down to her toes. She so badly wanted to let go and fully embrace the experience, but like everything he'd done up until that point, she assumed it was more out a sense of duty then a yearning for her.
Standing next to him in her kitchen, she'd never had such an overwhelming urge to kiss someone before in her life. She was so intently focused on fantasizing, that she hadn't heard him calling out to her.
"...Allison? Allison!"
"Huh!"
"Your PDA's ringing."
"Oh!"
Allison fumbled for the phone as it lay on the center island. Her previous glazed over expression immediately changed once she greeted the voice on the other end of the line.
"Tess! Hi."
She nervously eyed Carter as the same look of fear and shame mirrored on his own face. Apparently neither of them had informed Tess of their plans.
"I'm fine...good...I'll speak with Dr. Funk Monday morning and tell him to proceed...you know just taking it easy tonight...yeah I'm a bit tired myself...Oh, okay I'll talk to you tomorrow...Goodnight.
Allison's mouth went dry as her eyes shifted around the room in an effort to avoid his.
Courageously, Jack was the first to break the silence. "That was a bit...awkward, huh?"
"Yeah, I guess it was."
"Tess told me she would be working today and wouldn't be over tonight. I uh...failed to mention that I would be having dinner with you."
"Same here. She asked if I wanted to catch a movie tonight. She said she called your place and SARAH informed you where out for the evening but wouldn't give any further details."
They both snickered at SARAH, who was very protective of Jack and Zoë and for some strange reason refused to warm to the idea of Tess.
Eager to ease the tension that hovered like a thick fog, they simultaneously began.
"Carter..."
"Allison..."
"No, you go first." They chuckled as their words again toppled each other.
After a short lull in which neither spoke as if afraid to take the lead, Allison resumed.
"Carter, I must admit I asked you over for a reason."
"Yeah?" Puzzled, he viewed her. He knew something was different about tonight.
"I was wondering..." She was going to ask him if he still wanted her, if they could build something together, but halfway through she chickened out.
"I was wondering how you felt about...Tess." As her name spilled from her lips, Allison realized her grievous mistake and visibly grimaced.
Caught off guard, he wasn't prepared to talk about their relationship. Maybe her invitation was really a fishing expedition to learn if he was the right man for her best friend.
"Tess? Um, Tess is great. She's fun, she's smart as a whip, she's beautiful. I mean...I like her."
Allison could feel the tears welling up. "Oh! Well, she speaks very highly of you too."
Jack thought that an odd statement to make. "Is that what you wanted to ask me?"
"Yeah, I uh, was curious if you thought maybe the two of you had a future together."
Time stopped as she waited for his answer. She so desperately wanted him to say no. "Please say no she thought."
"I never really thought about it. I know we haven't been dating long, but we have a great time together and..."
Allison quickly spun round, cutting him off mid-sentence. "That's great. Good to hear."
"Allison?"
"Yes?"
She had turned so he couldn't see her tears. Unfortunately she couldn't disguise the sniffling sound of her cry.
"Hey. What's wrong?"
Her back still to him, she shook her head vigorously.
"Nothing." Even as her voice cracked, she squared her shoulders in an attempt to regain her composure.
Jack tentatively reached for her. When she wouldn't turn, he stepped in front of her. He never liked to see her cry because it hurt him at much as it hurt her. He craned his neck so that he could see her face but when she wouldn't raise it, he cupped her head between his hands and lifted it toward him. What he saw broke his heart.
"Allison talk to me. What is it? Is it the baby?"
She shook her head no.
"Is it Kevin, is he okay?"
"Kevin's fine. It's..."
Allison couldn't bring herself to say the words. All at once she felt silly. Here she was pregnant, Nathan, her fiance/ex-husband dead, Carter had finally moved on with Tess and she was about to shatter it all. She couldn't do it, she couldn't do that to him. All these years, Carter had been by her side unconditionally and now she couldn't return his kindness. She didn't have the heart to ruin what they had.
"It's nothing, just my hormones." She tried to pull herself together but knew she wouldn't last much longer as the pain in her chest grew, the tears ready to pour.
"I'm just tired I guess. I think I'm gonna go to bed."
She looked at him a second to long and feared he could read what she was feeling. "I'm sorry Carter."
She bid him goodnight, told him to let himself out then headed upstairs.
Jack stood firmly in the spot she'd left him. He knew something was bothering her and it wasn't her hormones. He just didn't know what, but he was going to find out.
Jack bounded upstairs toward her bedroom and knocked on the closed door.
"Allison? Can I come in?"
"Carter, please I can't right now."
"Allison I don't know what's going on, but I'm here for you. Now I'm coming in so don't...throw anything at me."
Jack slowly twisted the handle and cautiously peered around the edge of the door just in case she decided to fling something at his head. She was sitting on the edge of her bed which sat high off the floor, causing her feet to dangle.
Jack sat next to her and placed his arm around her shoulder. Allison felt all the hairs raise on her arm as her body tensed. She so badly wanted his touch that she involuntarily rested her head on his shoulder.
His voice soothing he asked, "Allison, please talk to me. You can be honest."
She looked into his eyes, his sincerity evident.
"And don't forget I'll know if you're lying." He smiled broadly in an attempt to relax her.
Allison closed her eyes and exhaled. If she didn't do this now she never would. She knew that they were at the precipice, a turning point in their relationship. No matter what happened, she had to know. She just hoped their friendship didn't suffer.
"Carter, I asked you over tonight because I wanted to talk to you about something."
Jack watched her intently, hanging onto her every word.
"No, that's not true. It's not something. It's us."
His brow furrowed, Jack wasn't sure what she was getting at.
"Last week when I told you that you should go be with Tess, you asked me if I was sure and I said yes."
Allison hesitated, her lips pressed together, she knew this was her last chance.
"I wasn't being honest with you. I didn't want you to go to her, I wanted you. I wanted you to stay with me."
Allison stood abruptly, the words rushed forth. She paced back and forth near the foot of the bed, her hands gesturing chaotically.
"I know I'm a horrible person for even bringing this up and I'll understand if you hate me. I have no right to say this, to ask this of you. But I want you to know this has nothing to do with the baby or Nathan or Tess. I had to tell you. I can't hold it in any longer."
She turned and watched as he sat in silence. His expression unchanging, was difficult for her to read.
"Carter if you never want to speak to me again I'll completely understand."
Jack rose from the bed and crossed in front of her so that they were standing face to face.
Allison peered up into his eyes and all she could see was the hatred within. Earlier, the electric blue eyes that calmed her, seemingly piercing through her soul, now appeared cold and unwelcoming. As if he could no longer hide his disdain for her.
She had ruined it, she had ruined everything.
"I'm sorry Carter, but please don't tell Tess. I've already hurt you and I don't want to hurt her too. I..."
Her impassioned plea interrupted as he embraced her and kissed her lips ever so briefly. As he pulled back his eyes stretched wide, she didn't know who was more surprised by his actions–him or her.
Shocked, her mouth fell open but no sound emitted.
Then he smiled at her and she knew what she'd perceived as hatred had in fact been a burning desire...for her.
As the smile tugged at the corner of her lips, he leaned in and kissed her again. This time his mouth lingered upon hers. His kiss was everything she had hoped, prayed, no...knew it would be.
His lips were firm yet surprisingly soft. They were full as they formed a perfect bond with hers. He gently forced apart her teeth, the feel of his tongue on her caused a physical reaction as her body shuddered uncontrollably. One hand braced solidly on her lower back, the other laid flat between her shoulder blades, he cradled her, his kiss growing longer, deeper, wetter.
Allison didn't know how long they were remained in that position...frankly she didn't care. Time has lost all semblance. Parting, their breathing labored foreheads inclined, the comprehension of what they'd just done became all to real.
"Carter. What do we do now?"
"I don't know."
Allison flopped down on the bed and Jack situated himself next to her.
"Allison. What changed?"
Though her manner feigned confusion, she knew what he was searching for.
"What I mean is, why be honest now. Don't get me wrong, I'm no better. I've given you hints, sure you knew how I felt. When I asked you about Tess, why didn't you say anything before we started something."
Allison hung her head in shame.
"Carter I know what you must be thinking. I won't lie to you. I've lied to myself for to long already. I've felt something between us for quite some time. I've felt it since you came to Eureka. I thought you were just flirtatious by nature, but I admit, I was flattered when I realized that it was aimed directly at me."
"Why didn't you say anything?"
"Why didn't you?"
Embarrassed, the color rose to his cheeks. "It seems we both played a part in sabotaging us, before we even got a chance to get started."
"Exactly. I don't know about you, but I was afraid. Carter, you're completely different from any man I've encountered...let alone been involved with. You're like a riddle wrapped in a mystery inside an enigma."
Grinning, head cocked to the side, he wasn't sure that was quite was accurate. "Well, I don't think I'm that difficult to figure out."
Allison couldn't help but giggle. "No, don't get me wrong. See, not only was I trying to figure you out, I was trying to figure me out."
Allison sat further up on the bed so that she was leant against the headboard.
"I guess I was scared."
"I don't understand?"
Allison took his hands in hers.
"When you first came here I thought you were, for lack of a better word, a prick. You were cocky and arrogant and a huge pain in my ass."
"Well, I can't say I agree with that assessment."
"But don't you see. My assessment was completely wrong. Carter you helped us. You didn't know us, but your moral and ethical code propelled you to do everything you could to make sure Bryan was safe...that we were safe. But what really sold me was the connection you made with Kevin. I have to admit I was hurt and a bit jealous at first. You seemed to be able to connect with him in a way I never could. Initially, I thought it had something to do with me. I'm his mother and I couldn't even get through to him. But then there was you. You did what no one else could. You found a way to communicate with him."
Allison reached up and held his face lovingly in her hands.
"I knew there was something special about you. Then I took a second look and I liked what I saw. I had hoped that you would ask me out but you never did. So I assumed you weren't interested. When Nathan made it obvious that he wanted me back and showed me that he still loved me, I moved on. Yes, I did love him but..."
Allison paused for she knew her next words were the most important of all.
"...I never stopped loving you."
Her confession came as a bombshell to him. "You love me?"
Allison smiled, nodding in affirmation. "Yes, Jack Carter. I...love...you."
Jack was stunned. "Well, it's about time."
Then, he kissed her again.
They ended up talking the entire night, taking the opportunity to get to know each other as if it was the first time. The wall that had slowly been building between them began to tumble down. At some point during the evening they'd laid down together and drifted off.
The he suns rays creating a path across his cheek, Jack was the first to stir. He was disoriented at first. That was until he fully opened his eyes to be greeted by her beautiful face. Jack knew that even first thing in the morning, she would be stunning. They weren't exactly ten toes up...ten toes down as he'd hoped, but just waking up laying next to her was enough for him.
Jack wasn't used to the morning light waking him so he couldn't gage the correct time. This was definitely one aspect of living below ground he missed. Her left hand tucked under the pillow, Jack thought she was still asleep.
Eyes closed, she smiled at him. "Hey you."
"Hey."
Jack touched her face, allowing his thumb to caress her cheek. Allison opened her eyes. The suns light illuminated her dark brown orbs, causing them to appear as if they contained flecks of gold.
"I'm not dreaming am I?"
"No Jack. This is real."
Just then a cool breeze swept through the open window, the sheer white curtain floated into the room. Although hey were both still completely dressed–minus their shoes which were kicked off onto the floor, Allison shivered. She reached down and pulled the comforter up over them, snuggling up next to him–well as close as she could get as her belly created a natural barrier.
"I hate to break the spell but...what time is it? SARAH usually wakes me up with a sun simulator light, but it's not the same."
Allison angled her head so she could see the alarm clock on the bedside table opposite her.
"It's still early, only nine-thirty."
"You think if we laid here all day anyone would miss us?"
"Well, Kevin and Zoë may wonder where we were. I have to pick him up from his friends house at twelve."
"Zoë stayed at Pillar's last night, so I doubt she's concerned of my whereabouts. Besides, SARAH will keep her well guarded until I get home."
"So, other than the kids, I think we're safe."
As they started to laugh, they were both suddenly hit with the realization that one other person may miss their presence. Their smiles slowly turned as neither wanted to utter her name as if the mention alone would conjure her up out of thin air.
Just then Jack's PDA rang and panic set in as they both sensed it could only be one person. He stretched over to the bedside table where he'd laid his phone last night and cautiously peered at the screen. The expression on his face confirmed who is was that lay on the other end of the line...
...Tess.
Next - Chapter 2: Just The Way You Are