Title: Sexy Back
Summary: Reno attempts to seduce Cloud in a bar...filled with fans of Avalanche.
Warnings: Drinking, swearing, implied het, implied yaoi, slight (if any at all) violence, OOCness, poor grammar, poor spelling, etc.
Disclaimer: I own not a thing. The inspiration and title come from Justin Timberlake's "Sexy Back." Very short one-shot.
Reno huffed as he leaned back in his chair. There was no fucking way that life was goddamn fair to a hard-working, honest, modest person like himself. At least, that was how he saw himself at given times. Instead, life decided to kick him in the balls one more time.
...By forcing him to watch the blonde leader of Avalanche beat the rest of Avalanche tie a cherry stem into a knot with his tongue. Twice! And the simple motherfucker did not even know the meaning behind the challenge that Yuffie set up. At least the fates were kind enough to prove that Captain Dumbass Highwind over there was not very skilled at tying knots with his tongue. That had to suck for the vampire in their group. But damn if his eyes were not focused solely on the blonde that smiled sweetly at his group of friends while they spoke to him in hushed tones.
They all made him fucking sick.
It was just fucking rude of life to torment him in such a way. The dense-as-a-fucking-brick-wall blonde chatted softly over the soft music that played over the bar's speakers, looking content where he was. He would bet anything that the punk did not even think about sex like a normal human being. Hell, there was a great chance that the savoir of the planet had the sex drive of a goddamn rock. He had seen the former Turk in their group giving off more sexual vibes than the desirable blonde.
And damned if he did not like a challenge!
Knocking back the remains of his drink, the redheaded Turk was determined to get the hero into a hotel bed by the end of the hour! Hell, it was his fucking fault that he was not getting any action tonight; all of the women were flocking to Avalanche and were disinterested in his charm, leaving a bitter taste in his mouth. It was one thing to be rejected because some chick thought that he was white trash, dirty, or just plain odd. But to be tossed aside like a dirty diaper just because the fucking Chocobo-Ass-Haired blonde was in the same goddamn room? That fucking hurt.
Raising form his seat somewhat shakily after knocking back all of those drinks, the Turk swaggered over to the group of people that were crowded around the "heroes." It was fucking pathetic; they had all turned into fawning teenage girls who were close to tossing their underpants at the blonde. That was pretty fucking sad.
And annoying as fuck all.
Slipping past the people, Reno quickly distracted Yuffie by pointing her in the direction of Vincent. That was certain to distract the ninja, vampire, and foul-mouthed pilot of the group. Making his way past the others, the redhead quickly sent the main vulture for the blonde's attention off to get him a drink that was difficult to mix properly. Seizing the opportunity, the Turk sat down beside the blonde and grinned shamelessly at the blonde sitting right next to him.
"Hey, Strife," the redhead purred sexily as he grinned and looked the swordsman up and down. "Ya ever dig yer nails into the back of sex god, yo?" A frown crossed Cloud's feature's but when he opened his mouth, the Turk felt slim fingers grabbing the back of his shirt before he was suddenly hauled off of his barstool and tugged backwards. Struggling to keep up as he was pulled backwards, the Turk let out a stream of expletives before he was thrown out of the bar, grunting when he bounced on the ground before rolling to a stop.
He could he Cid's loud laughter as he scrambled to his feet, getting ready to curse out the blonde when he locked eyes with his assailant, pausing at the sight of Vincent glaring darkly at him. "Heh...what's up, yo?"
"I don't care how attractive you think you are or how easy you think Cloud is. If you send Yuffie after me again, I will not hesitate to shoot you down." With a flourish of his cape, the brunette stalked back inside of the bar, leaving the Turk standing outside of the bar, blinking in dumbfounded silence.
Did Vincent Valentine just body check him out of a bar?
Huffing, the redheaded Turk sulked as he pulled out his phone, dialing a number quickly, "Hey, Strife," he purred without shame. "Ya wanna hook up?" A click sounded, making the Turk blink. "Cloud?"
...Did the blonde really think that would stop him?
Rolling his eyes, Reno tucked his hands into his pockets before beginning to scope out the building.
Cloud would have to go to bed sometime.
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