This story is written in Heeros POV. It contains Shonen Ai and a very bad grammar, so be warned. ^^
Disclaimer: I. Do. Not. Own. Gundam. (Oh, what a surprise! ^^)
A reason to go on
By Kia
'Everyone needs a reason to go on.'
That is what you had said, once. You were discussing with Wufei about the meaning of our lifes. And our reasons, to do what we are doing. You never knew I was listening. I pretended to ignore you, like I always did. You never knew what effects these simple little words had on me.
Somehow, this sentence kept ringing though my mind. I tried to forget it, but in the end I always found myself wondering what my reason could be. My reason to go on.
I know it now.
I wonder what your reason is. You always seem to enjoy life for itself but I know you better. I know that you, too, have your pain to carry in your heart. Only, you are quite good in hiding it. To make us forget the few times when you'd reached the limits of what you could bear.
But I never got to know that lost and hurt little boy you manage so well to hide behinde the mask of a joker. A clown.
The soul of our team. I don't know what we would have done without you to cheer us up.
Even if you are so annoying sometimes.
Releena.
She never was my reason to go on. More a reason to run away.
She meens nothing to me. I know she wants to, but she doesn't.
Maybe I would have killed her, that day, if you hadn't shown up and stopped me. You showed me the meaning of life. Even of the life of people I don't care about. I saw it the moment I looked into your eyes for the first time. I only failed to realise it then.
Quatre is watching me with sad eyes as I sit by the window, looking at the stars in the nights sky and waiting for you to come home, but I only smile at him in silence. I wouldn't have done that before I met you.
The house is quiet. Wufei and Trowa are sleeping already and Quatre is also leaving now.
Probably going to sleep in Trowas room, in his bed. Cuddling against him, relaxing in the warmth of a body next to his, that I have never known.
You told me once that you could already see them ending up like this. But, as usual, I pretended that I wouldt not hear you. Would you be happy to see that you were right?
Of course you would. You would smile your typical Duo-smile and then you would hug them until they couldn't breath anymore.
But you never will. You will never know that you were right. You will never smile that bright smile of yours again.
I know that you died in that mission. That you will never come home again. I know it like Quatre does and everyone else. But that doesn't stop me from waiting for you.
I still belive that someday you will come through that door. You will laugh and say that it was just one of your jokes. Ouatre will cry and yell at you and I will ignore you as always and won't tell you what I so badly want to say.
I still belive you will come back to us, to me. I know it's useless, but I won't ever stop beliving it. I won't ever stop waiting.
Everyone needs a reason to go on.
-End-
August 30, 2001
Disclaimer: I. Do. Not. Own. Gundam. (Oh, what a surprise! ^^)
A reason to go on
By Kia
'Everyone needs a reason to go on.'
That is what you had said, once. You were discussing with Wufei about the meaning of our lifes. And our reasons, to do what we are doing. You never knew I was listening. I pretended to ignore you, like I always did. You never knew what effects these simple little words had on me.
Somehow, this sentence kept ringing though my mind. I tried to forget it, but in the end I always found myself wondering what my reason could be. My reason to go on.
I know it now.
I wonder what your reason is. You always seem to enjoy life for itself but I know you better. I know that you, too, have your pain to carry in your heart. Only, you are quite good in hiding it. To make us forget the few times when you'd reached the limits of what you could bear.
But I never got to know that lost and hurt little boy you manage so well to hide behinde the mask of a joker. A clown.
The soul of our team. I don't know what we would have done without you to cheer us up.
Even if you are so annoying sometimes.
Releena.
She never was my reason to go on. More a reason to run away.
She meens nothing to me. I know she wants to, but she doesn't.
Maybe I would have killed her, that day, if you hadn't shown up and stopped me. You showed me the meaning of life. Even of the life of people I don't care about. I saw it the moment I looked into your eyes for the first time. I only failed to realise it then.
Quatre is watching me with sad eyes as I sit by the window, looking at the stars in the nights sky and waiting for you to come home, but I only smile at him in silence. I wouldn't have done that before I met you.
The house is quiet. Wufei and Trowa are sleeping already and Quatre is also leaving now.
Probably going to sleep in Trowas room, in his bed. Cuddling against him, relaxing in the warmth of a body next to his, that I have never known.
You told me once that you could already see them ending up like this. But, as usual, I pretended that I wouldt not hear you. Would you be happy to see that you were right?
Of course you would. You would smile your typical Duo-smile and then you would hug them until they couldn't breath anymore.
But you never will. You will never know that you were right. You will never smile that bright smile of yours again.
I know that you died in that mission. That you will never come home again. I know it like Quatre does and everyone else. But that doesn't stop me from waiting for you.
I still belive that someday you will come through that door. You will laugh and say that it was just one of your jokes. Ouatre will cry and yell at you and I will ignore you as always and won't tell you what I so badly want to say.
I still belive you will come back to us, to me. I know it's useless, but I won't ever stop beliving it. I won't ever stop waiting.
Everyone needs a reason to go on.
-End-
August 30, 2001