Newt was slowly losing control of his life. Or perhaps he had completely lost control of his life some time ago and was slowly being forced to accept this fact.
The breach had closed three years ago. At some point during the course of the celebration, Newt and Hermann had grabbed each other tight and never quite let go. Things were good. They were happy. Not perfect but he had never trusted perfection.
Maybe he should have wished for greater strife. He had never thought he and Hermann would want from conflict but it turned out that deciding to trust one another and save one another and save the world together did wonders for their ability to agree on what really mattered.
Six months ago, Newt had realized that – far from the well-earned cheery epilogue he had thought he was in – he was in the first chapter of a tragedy and everything that had come before this was just the character backstory.
Six months ago, Newt had been about to run out and pick up some proper snacks for movie night with Hermann later when there was suddenly a voice in his head. Only not a voice, of course, because voices implied sound and it was silent as a thought. Intrusive as any of his own had ever been. Impossible to ignore.
"Newton Geiszler."
Newt had started. "Uh…what?"
"The time has come to proceed to the next stage of our plans. You will not enjoy it but that is an unfortunate reality and your compliance is not necessary."
"Seriously. What the fuck. Am I going crazy? I'm going crazy, aren't I? Like, I know that I am way past the age most people develop schizophrenia but I've always been an outlier. Or maybe I'm drugged? Dreaming? Suffering a nervous breakdown? I have an alternate personality that has been protecting me from some trauma that must be pretty damn awful given all the trauma I've had to deal with myself it has been no help with."
Newt had known he was rambling but he couldn't help it. The not-a-voice was detached and powerful and filling him with a sense of dread he could not explain.
"It is nothing so common as that, Newton. We have been slowly gaining strength since your victory and now we are strong enough to reveal ourselves to you. It will take more time to further marshal our strength and you will be given an adjustment period."
Every hair on Newt's body was standing up and he suddenly felt like he couldn't breathe. "I don't understand."
"You do but if you wish for us to spell it out for you then we shall. We understand that this is an horrible realization for you and that you have no choice but to endure this so it makes sense some indulgence is necessary."
Indulgence? What did they mean indulgence?
"We are the ones you call precursors," the goddamn fucking precursors said simply. "We do not feel that that name fits us as the creatures you call kaiju were the ones to come before us but we do not have a better name for you to use and it does not matter. We have never needed a name for ourselves. We have always just been us."
"This isn't happening," Newt told himself firmly. "This isn't happening, this isn't happening, this isn't happening…"
He immediately set out trying to employ his most commonly used grounding technique. Five things he could see. Five things he could hear. Five things he could feel. Feeling a little steadier, he took slow and steady breaths to the count of fifty.
This wasn't real. The precursors were long gone. They weren't just going to come back as ghosts specifically to haunt him.
"We are quite real. It is better for you to remain calm and nothing practical will come from panicking. You are not in a situation where your panic could be a physical advantage in strength or speed or even pure daring. Still, it is understandable given the limits of your physiology that you will likely not be able to avoid such a thing. We understand."
Instantly all that work was washed away. Why was it so hard to breathe? Were they doing something to his lungs? Desperately, he dug his nails into his palms, trying to focus on the sensations he was sure were there. It almost didn't even matter if it was the precursors or not. He was clearly awake, his senses were far too alert for that and he had never had a talent for lucid dreaming, and there was something very wrong with his mind.
He had to go to medical.
The moment that crossed his mind, he realized his feet would not move. His shoulders tensed. He tensed them. He tugged at a loose strand of hair. He bent down and felt his foot and tried uselessly to force his foot to move and only ended up falling over. And he could not persuade his feet to bring him back to a standing position.
"Okay, this is not good. What the actual fuck is going on?"
"We have explained what is going on. You cannot be allowed to report that you are hearing us. Either you will be believed and measures will be taken to either drive us out or at least remove your ability to be of use to us or you will not be believed and you will be considered unfit for the work you do. Either way, that will destroy much of your worth to us. We could probably find an alternative plan but it is better this way."
Destroy his worth? Drive them out? Better this way?
It didn't make sense. He didn't understand anything that was going on. He didn't.
He wished he believed that.
"You know how we got here. The drift. We have been watching you and there is nothing of your life before those drifts that we did not see. We know you well enough to know that when you calm yourself your first thought will be of Hermann."
Hermann! Newt hadn't even thought of him and how much of an asshole did that make him? He had drifted as well and he had been one of the two humans to actually touch the minds of the precursors. They were probably the only two humans the precursors even knew and he was in danger! His mind could be invaded just like Newt's was being! And even without that, he trusted Newt too goddamn much to suspect a thing before one day Newt's hands wound up around his throat and he had to watch himself choke the life out of the person he loved the most and…no. No no no.
That wasn't helping.
That was catastrophizing. He still didn't know what was going on and it was a long road from not being able to lift his feet and hearing a not-a-voice and murdering Hermann.
He knew he would never survive such a journey.
"Hermann will be fine. You drifted twice and the first time there was nothing between you and us. Your presence protected him just as surely as his would have protected you had he been with you the whole time. And we do not seek his destruction at this point. It may be necessary in the future but not today."
He had thought he was panicked before.
"You can't kill him!"
"It may be necessary. But it would be done because it needed to be done for the sake of our ultimate objective of taking this world. In fact, when we succeed he will likely die unless he is preserved as an indulgence. We do not know that irrational humans would want that but that is some years off yet."
His legs were shaking. He put his hands on them and pressed down, trying to still them. He was only partially successful. "Indulgence. You keep saying indulgence. What are you talking about?"
"You and Hermann are the living humans most responsible for our loss but we do not seek revenge. That is a very human trait and not our way."
"No, it's just your way to come to a planet and destroy the native life and take it for yourself because you fucked up your own planet and after all this time can't work out how to fix it!"
"That is accurate. Do you seek to offend us? Words do not hold that power. The truth is true regardless of whether it is said or not so why should that cause pain? And lies are not true and are even more powerless."
"You could try to fucking coexist, at least."
"You will learn we are not so good at that."
"And don't even try to sell me on this 'this isn't personal' shit. Maybe I'm just the human most susceptible because of the drifting but you waited hundreds of millions of years to come back that first time and it's not even been three yet!"
"Last time there were creatures here that were formidable. Your dinosaurs. And we left not because of them but because the cost of eradicating them was too great given the extensive work still needed for making the planet suitable for our needs. This time it is different. Though we do grow tired of waiting, if that was the rational course of action we would wait. But this time the dinosaurs are gone and so are your jaegers. They can be rebuilt but that will take time. The humans will not know of the need and it is a process that drains resources. Your planet is nearly perfect for us and we have a way through to this world through you. It is not personal but it is understandable you will feel it is."
"So…what? You're going to try to use me to destroy the world?"
"We will use you to destroy the world. You asked about indulgences and it is simply us not bearing you any ill will. We could take full control and never hand it back very soon. We could not explain any of this. But we are not choosing to do that. You will do what we require. We will do as we plan. But we will not make this more unpleasant than it has to be."
"Are you even fucking serious?" Newt demanded furiously. "You want to just hijack my body and use me to destroy the world I spent a third of my life trying to save and you don't want to make this more unpleasant than it has to be? Fuck you guys!"
"That is an indulgence. Say what you will about us. Feel what you will about us. It is of no importance. The timetable is not firmly established but within the next year you will leave the PPDC. You will obtain a job at a company that will give you access to resources that will let you bring kaiju into this world and open the breach from this side. You will destroy the world."
Newt felt himself grow cold. "I won't."
"Not today."
Eventually, when he had given up the thought of going to medical, he had been able to stagger to his feet. He had cancelled his plans with Hermann because he had wanted nothing so badly as to just see him and tell him everything but he was a little terrified of what the precursors – of what his own mind, perhaps, because how could he know for sure it was really them – could make him do to the man he loved.
In fact, he avoided him for two days. He might have never stopped avoiding him if Hermann hadn't come into his room, barricaded the door behind him, and demanded to know what was wrong.
And how could Newt tell him? Merely considering it had left him unable to speak until he let the idea go. How could Hermann possibly understand?
And so Newt had lied. He had said he was just dealing with some intrusive thoughts and it was hard to be around Hermann when he felt so unworthy of him. And it was even true.
And Hermann had responded exactly the way he had expected and been so wonderful and kind and the precursors never bothered him when he was with Hermann and so he had tried his best to forget.
Until now.
"Don't do this. Please don't do this."
"Your objections are once more noted but remain irrational. We do not seek to harm Hermann. We only seek to test whether the one who knows you better than anyone will be able to tell if it is us instead. If we can fool him we can have no trouble convincing the world."
"He doesn't deserve this!"
"We will spend some time in his company. We will learn much and test our skills. And it is an important step in your adjustment."
Adjustment. They always called it adjustment instead of what it was. His slow enslavement. His conditioning, really, as hard as he tried to resist growing accustomed to any of this. It took a month before the first time they spoke to him that day ceased to startle him. Now, as grateful as he was for the respite, he was – to his horror – growing suspicious of the quiet times between.
"You will not have control for things that will be more difficult for you than a date with your boyfriend. You need to understand and to prepare yourself."
"Need I? Need I really?"
"You do," the precursors said firmly. "It will be too difficult for you if you are not prepared."
"Can you stop pretending you give a damn about my wellbeing for five fucking seconds? It'd be a lot easier to swallow if you weren't stealing my time with Hermann before stealing me away from him altogether and trying to destroy the world."
Before either putting Hermann in horrible danger if he realized Newt wasn't himself or forcing Newt to face the heartbreaking revelation that the man he loved honestly couldn't tell the difference between him and the precursor hive mind who sought to kill them all.
"This will be difficult for you. But you will survive this and it will not be more difficult than is necessary. We will not be cruel to him."
That was one weight off his mind but not the only thing he was afraid of.
"It is time to go. Or shall we travel there?"
The last thing in the world Newt wanted to do was to walk to Hermann right now.
Or, well, almost the last thing.
He wasn't quite so full of dread that he was willing to cede control of his body for any reason, especially not when it came to going to Hermann.
Time really was a construct, wasn't it? The walk back to their room took longer than he thought it possibly could (but then, he had never so sought to avoid it before while actively heading there) and yet before he could even begin to feel like he was ready he was knocking at the door.
He didn't need to, of course, it was their room. But it didn't feel right to let himself in or watch the precursors let him in.
He put on his bravest smile for Hermann but by the time Hermann opened the door, a brilliant smile gracing his own face, it was the precursors who were grinning back at him.
"Newton, you are ridiculous," Hermann declared but his tone was fond.
"You've always known this about me," the precursors said flippantly, walking easily around Hermann and throwing himself down on their couch in front of the television.
Newt wasn't sure what he expected. It sounded exactly like him, of course. Or at least the words did. It was hard to tell how the tone, how the physicality came off to others. It was what he would have said had he been able. It was only one sentence and perfectly in-character. There was no reason that Newt could see for anyone to notice that anything was amiss.
Except. Except that this wasn't him and Hermann wasn't just anyone, Hermann was the only one he had ever welcome into his mind.
Hermann followed him to the sofa and leaned up against him.
The precursors grinned and adjusted Newt's body so that their position was more comfortable but no less intimate.
"This is the most ridiculous thing I've ever done," Hermann informed him.
Newt's heart sank. Hermann hadn't noticed anything. It had only been two minutes. There was time. And even if he had noticed something was off, it was a far cry from noticing something was off about Newt to realizing he was possessed by precursors three years after his last drift with a kaiju brain.
The precursors laughed. "Yeah, that's definitely not true."
"Not all of us go out of our way to live a life of absurdity, Newton," Hermann sniffed.
The precursors stuck Newt's nose into the air dramatically . "I'll have you know I'm not going out of my way for this at all. And also, this isn't even the most ridiculous thing you've done with me so it sure as fuck isn't the most ridiculous thing you've done solo."
"If you're talking about the kaiju drifting, I did it to save you and the world and that drastically reduces the degree of ridiculousness involved there," Hermann said defensively. Because come to think of it Newt did rather throw that in his face a lot. Not maliciously, of course, it had been the most romantic thing anyone had ever done for him (and what did that say about him?) but when Hermann went off about Newt being reckless. "Besides, we survived and seem no worse for the wear."
Hermann always answered with something along the lines of that. At first Newt just nodded along because he honestly thought that it was true, even if there wasn't data on really long-term drifting effects with humans available yet let alone on those who drifted with kaiju. Later he forced a smile and changed the subject. Now it was like daggers to his heart.
The precursors appeared undisturbed.
"Hermann, would now be a bad time to tell you that I'm slowly being replaced by the precursor hive mind?"
It took Newt a second to process what he just heard.
"What?" he demanded. "What are you playing at? You said you wouldn't hurt him!"
Newt would never be so foolish as to believe the words of the precursors. But this would be too cruel. He couldn't. He just couldn't. He didn't know if he was strong enough to stop them. He knew he wouldn't be strong enough for any damn thing if he couldn't.
Was this the beginning of his own murder? Had that happened all those months ago when they had revealed themselves to him? Or way back when and he had been terrified but still not terrified enough and he had pressed that whole stupid button in the first place.
"You worry too much," the precursors replied. "Words require context. Require explanation. You did not believe at first and Hermann has no reason to believe that is anything but a joke that is perhaps in poor taste."
No. Hermann couldn't just take the precursor's mad confession as a joke and laugh it off and cast him – or not even him, the goddamn precursors – in the role of Cassandra.
They couldn't know Hermann better than he did.
Hermann gave an amused snort. "That depends entirely on which films you choose."
They did.
In this regard, at least, they did.
Don't catastrophize, Newt.
"You give yourself that advice often and yet you seldom take it," the precursors noted.
Well excuse him for not being perfect. His mental health hadn't been ideal even before the precursors had sent their beautiful monsters his way. He'd get right on working to better his coping skills when he was less distracted by the pressing problem of the precursors in his head.
"Human irrationality. And it is further complicated by the fact that eventually everything you fear will come to pass, just not in the way you envision it. This world will die. All of this will end. But these things take time and you are merely making yourself miserable. There was that line in the movie you saw once. Worrying makes you suffer twice. Newt said that. A different one of course but an interesting coincidence."
If he'd been able to, Newt would have rolled his eyes so hard. "Not that that's untrue but it's not like I choose to worry. Worrying can be productive if it leads to better choices or being more prepared but the things I cannot change…and then there's the fact usually what I imagine is worse than what it really is. I…somehow don't believe it will be the case for you and your plans. But at any rate, not all of us can just casually decide not to worry."
"You imagine Hermann will save you and stop this."
What was the point of denying it?
"He will not. And it will not be his fault. He is a human and he is limited and he does not know enough of us to expect this tactic."
That didn't make him feel any better.
"Is that why you're doing this? Stealing a date? So I can be broken of my only hope?"
"It would be better for you to cease that fantasy but, no, that is merely a side benefit. We already explained the reason why. Maintaining the mind of a host in such circumstances requires finesse."
"Maintaining my mind," he repeated bitterly.
"Humans have a philosophical debate on whether false hope is better than no hope at all," the precursors noted. "This is not a question we struggle with. Lies are worthless. You have no hope of escaping this. Hermann will not be able to save you. Acceptance of this fact will make things easier for you."
Newt had never in his life taken the easier route. "The fuck am I going to just accept the end of days when Hermann is looking at me like that."
"Newton," the precursors said, almost gently. "Hermann is looking at us."
"Which films we choose, Hermann," the precursors corrected. "This is supposed to be a collaborative experience."
Hermann cleared his throat and attempted to look stern. "So, slowly being possessed by the precursors, you said?"
The precursors shrugged. "Yeah, it's a thing. Don't worry about it."
One day, if Hermann even remembered this, he was going to hate himself for this flippancy.
Newt wondered how he'd feel. If it would even matter anymore.
"Honestly, Newton."
"Honestly, Hermann," the precursors mimicked. "But anyway, remember that time that we bought up every energy drink the store had and mixed them all together in some giant vat and then drank it nonstop for like a month? I know none of us actually expected to live long enough for this to be a problem but I want it on record that when I inevitably suffer a heart attack at 45 this is why."
"That wasn't a 'we' endeavor, Newton. That was you."
The precursors sighed indulgently. "Okay, fine, that was mostly me. But you were standing literally two feet away from me calling me an idiot when I bought it and helping me carry the bags and taking turns stirring and drinking it with me."
"It was a teambuilding exercise," Hermann claimed.
The precursors smiled appreciatively at him and placed a hand on his arm. "Oh, you're good. I'll build your team."
Hermann swallowed hard and Newt could feel his brachial pulse quicken. "Newton, please."
The precursors' grin widened. "Or what about the time that I stole your stress ball and you were trying to get it back instead of using your words like a big boy-"
"I did use my words and you ignored them," Hermann interrupted. "In fact, you did more than that! You specifically said 'la la la I can't hear you, too busy being amazing with my new stretch ball.'"
"You could have just let me have it," the precursors said unrepentantly.
"Newton, I could never let the terrorists win like that."
"Well anyway," the precursors said, getting back on track, "the point is that you decided to try and literally pry it out of my grip. And at that point I went from like sorta invested but I probably would have given it back to you eventually or just left it on my desk-"
"Or literally buried in a kaiju, don't forget about that one time with-"
"Oh my God, it was one time! And I really do think I learned from-" the precursors started to say.
"Only because I wouldn't stop bringing it up and making sure you couldn't possibly make the same mistake again."
"If we knew I wasn't going to be making the same mistake again, does it really matter why? And God, Hermann, not everything I about you," the precursors' tone was gently chiding. "But this is. Because you were grabbing it and suddenly this became a Big Deal and I wasn't about to let you win because I, too, would never just let the terrorists win like that."
Hermann stared at him. "Newton, you're the terrorist in this scenario. If you weren't going to let them – and by extension you – win you would have just given it back to me."
"Don't be ridiculous, Hermann. Why would I be my own terrorist?" the precursors asked rhetorically. "So then, you know, that stupid thing just goes flying out of my hand and hits Pentecost in the fact. And it breaks. And whatever that crap was got all over him and his like spotless uniform. And it's probably toxic, actually. And then even though it's really obvious what happened and he probably even saw us do it, we both pretended we hadn't seen anything."
"In situations like these, you only have two options. You can double down or go for broke. And really, what else could a reasonable person have done?"
The precursors nodded Newt's head. "I kind of admire our fortitude there. Lesser mortals would have trembled but our poker faces were amazing. I always knew mine was, of course, because that is actually not the first time I've been in almost that exact situation believe it or not-"
"I'll believe it," Hermann said immediately.
"But yours surprised me. I'm not even sure why because you always do stoic and responsible so well but I hadn't had to see you do that to cover something up before."
"Don't be absurd, Newton," Hermann said reproachfully.
"Yeah, I guess you don't really-"
"You absolutely have," Hermann interrupted. "But, as you mentioned, I'm quite good and so you never knew."
"Oh, dude, no fair!" the precursors protested. "I'm totally going to be all paranoid now!"
Hermann's smile was slow and smug. "Well isn't that unfortunate?"
"You sneaky bastard."
"I know, right?"
"I really think he would have killed us if he weren't so impressed at how shameless we were," the precursors said. "But I couldn't look him in the eye for a month."
"I didn't have that problem. Life with my father prepared me for that much, at least."
Despite the situation, Newt felt the familiar flare of anger that thinking about Lars fucking Gottlieb always inspired in him.
"I'm really sorry about that glitter bomb I accidentally sent him," the precursors said, echoing Newt's own thoughts. Of course, what had they said so far that Newt himself wouldn't have said? Minus the whole possessed bit, of course, because ideally he wouldn't be possessed and if he were it was too dangerous to try and tell Hermann and he refused to believe he'd have made that joke if the precursors weren't in his head.
But Hermann hadn't seemed to find anything out of the ordinary about that joke. Then again, Hermann hadn't seemed to find anything out of the ordinary by a hostile alien collective puppeting his boyfriend around either so what did he know?
"No you're not."
"Okay, you're right, I'm not," the precursors admitted. "But I'm sorry about the other seven!"
Hermann couldn't hide his smile. "I mean, at some point he really should have stopped opening them."
The precursors pretended to pout. "You could at least pretend to believe me."
"You could at least pretend to mean it," Hermann countered.
"I really couldn't, though."
"I notice you didn't apologize for accidentally punching him in the face that time."
"Look, after that whole thing with Hannibal and Otachi my fight reflex is a little intense! It could have happened to anyone!" the precursors said, waving Newt's hands around wildly.
"I notice it only happened to my father."
"And you're welcome," the precursors said primly. "But, you know, not only have you gotten into worse things than that with me but I don't see why I should even be willing to consider that I'm the one you've gotten into the most ridiculous shit with!"
Newt had a horrible thought then, one that he tried his very best to ignore because trying to banish it from his mind wouldn't work. Not that ignoring it went great either. It was always all 'don't think about pink elephants' and now what was he thinking about? But if the precursors were going to just say all the things he would have said and slip into his rhythm of banter with his boyfriend then what difference did it honestly make?
It made a lot of difference.
He couldn't actually move right now.
And if Hermann knew he'd be horrified.
But that was the thing. Hermann didn't know. Why didn't Hermann know?
"And why not? You are the most ridiculous person I know. Though I will concede that, yes, I never actually did meet Hannibal and his surviving being eaten by a kaiju might put him up there pretty close to your level."
The precursors snorted. "Please, that is the least of what is ridiculous about that man. But I wasn't talking about him anyway. I mean that you had siblings growing up! Siblings!"
Hermann never did quite get what Newt meant about siblings and that didn't change when someone else looking too damn much like Newt brought it up. "I was just raised with three other people, one of whom was quite a bit younger than myself. I really don't see why you have to idealize the very concept."
"Sure you do! Just check my psych profile! And can you honestly tell me that you didn't get up to all sorts of shit with them?"
"Maybe not 'honestly'." Hermann tilted his head. "Though it really depends how you define the term-"
"Johnnie Cochran."
"If you can't find the gas can, you really can't blame this man."
Newt's eyes widened and he breathed out a soft, "No…"
Hermann looked politely puzzled.
"You lit something on fire?" the precursors demanded, his voice taking on that exact same high-pitched quality it would have had Newt been the one to find out about this.
Well he was finding out about this. Right when the precursors did. But his wasn't the reaction being displayed, only a copy.
An imperfect copy, he wanted to believe. But either Hermann knew him a hell of a lot less than he should after half a lifetime knowing him and literally swimming around inside of his head or there were no flaws there.
Did that say more about him or about the precursors?
"I couldn't possibly say," Hermann said coyly. "But if my siblings and I were playing arson chicken I assure you that I played to win."
"God, younger you was such a badass…" the precursors said dreamily.
And Newt could see a much-younger Hermann dressed the way a young rebel Newt had and going around lighting all the barns he was for some reason picturing being everywhere on fire.
"Younger me?" Hermann asked with faux-outrage. "What about me now? I saved the world!"
They both had. And Hermann was still able to enjoy it, to rest with it.
"In a grandpa sweater!"
Hermann gave him a challenging smirk. "What do you think I wore then?"
Nope, nope, nope, that was a thing. Nope. He refused to believe it.
"If you try to tell me you didn't look exactly like John Travolta in Grease I am going to cry."
"Well, Newton, not to break your heart or anything but-"
"So anyway! Movies!" the precursors said loudly.
Hermann gave him a look. "Coward."
"It is called self-care and I am reliably informed I need to engage in more of it."
Hermann looked trapped. Of course he'd been the one to tell Newt that the most. "Well…I mean…that is to say…"
"Checkmate."
Hermann cleared his throat. "Movies, you said?"
The precursors allowed this change of subject. "Okay, so you can't tell me you've never seen a classic monster movie."
For one thing, he had known Newt for how long? Really, what had he even been doing back when he had been in full control of himself and had all the time in the world to persuade him?
Hermann shrugged. "I mean, I've probably seen some but I don't exactly have a list or anything and I definitely haven't seen as many as you."
"I mean, not to brag Hermann but no one has seen as many classic monster movies as me."
Hermann looked flummoxed. "Why would you brag about that?"
The precursors narrowed Newt's eyes. "Okay, first of all, I just said that I wasn't. And secondly, what's wrong with bragging about that? It's an accomplishment."
"Well it is certainly a thing that you did."
"You are the literal worst, Hermann."
"Now that is an accomplishment," Hermann said.
"Okay, so I spent like three hours coming up with a list of the top monster movies. All pre-kaiju of course because that's far too recent to be classic and, well, the movies were never quite the same after Hollywood fell."
"I saw Godzilla," Hermann offered.
"Nice, very nice," the precursors said, nodding. "The story is a bit disjointed but you it, like, transformed the genre. It came out like a decade after the atomic bombs. It was all a metaphor for how badly it fucked up the country. There's a lot of really fucked up media that came out around that time and like who can even blame them? The kids who grew up during the kaiju war…they're going to be so goddamn weird, dude."
Hermann suddenly found the spot right above Newt's head to be absolutely fascinating. "Ah."
"What's that, dude?"
Hermann hesitated. "I mean."
"Hermann?"
"That is to say."
"Hermann," the precursors said, his voice getting sterner.
"I didn't see…that one…"
Was that all?
"Well, that's fine. I mean, you really should see the original. In fact, that's going on the list! But there's…what? 33? Which one did you see?"
"I think you know which one I saw," Hermann said, his tone veering into apologetic.
"I-I really don't."
"Search your feelings, Newton. You know it to be true."
"Oh, don't you dare!" the precursors snapped.
Hermann shrugged. "Well. It's still true."
"Dude, how the fuck do you only manage to see that 1998 abomination?" the precursors burst out and Newt agreed so much with that that he almost forgot for a second he wasn't the one who had been confessed to and trying to make sense of this complete and utter disaster.
It had been nice, for a moment, to focus on something else.
"I'll have you know I saw it in theaters. I was nine."
"Well, I guess you really can't help that then," the precursors reasoned.
Newt didn't trust the careful innocence on Hermann's face at all. "Of course then we got the VHS and Bastien didn't know how to change tapes so he watched it dozens of times. Then he did the same with the Star Wars prequels. I didn't watch it with him but it was inevitable to have spent quite some time watching that movie."
It took him a moment to understand the way his body was looking at Hermann just then. It was a look he was well familiar with.
"This is how you look when you are in love," the precursors supplied helpfully.
Humiliation and something darker roiled in his gut. "I know that. I'm always in love with Hermann. Why are you doing it now?"
"It is a look you wear a lot. It would strange and hurtful to him if you did not have it today. Not suspicious, he would not leap from that to us but it would hurt him. Is that what you want?"
He gave a mental sigh. They were right and he knew it and he hated it. But no, of course he didn't want to hurt him.
"Hermann, you are a miracle," the precursors said, sounding far fonder of Hermann than they had any right to be.
This was cruel. Even if they claimed they bore Hermann no ill will, even if they did not intend for it to be (which he was far from convinced about), it was cruel to make Hermann think the person looking at him like that and saying these things to him was Newt.
One day, if Hermann ever figured it out and they both lived long enough to talk about it, Hermann was going to go through hell trying to parse out what had been real and what hadn't been.
Newt would have no such difficulty of course. How could he forget when it was him and sweet and good and perfect and when it was stealth horror? But he didn't think letting Hermann drive himself crazy asking about every goddamn day would be a healing experience either.
Hermann blinked rapidly and turned a lovely pink. "I'll…take the compliment, I suppose, but I don't understand."
"You survived so much," the precursors said earnestly. "You are an inspiration."
Newt meant every word he hadn't said.
Hermann smiled. "The movies weren't that bad."
The precursors shook Newt's head and clucked his tongue sympathetically. "You don't even understand how badly you've been hurt. Remind me to give Bastien a call later. He needs to know that it will get better."
"If he hasn't recovered from watching that twenty years ago by now I doubt he ever will," Hermann said dryly.
Newt's eyes were widened dramatically. "Don't be like that! He's your brother! We can't just give up on him like that."
"The worst part is, knowing Bastien, if you did call him he'd probably agree with you."
"And that is why I love him more than you," the precursors said.
"I'm beginning to suspect we may have some boundary issues."
"Well I don't know about that but between this and my possession, we either need to go deep into denial or seek out therapy," the precursors reasoned.
Newt couldn't. He really couldn't.
"Stop it."
"Your distress level has increased," the precursors noted. They sounded puzzled. "We have not done anything that should have changed it. You were distressed before and now more so but without a change in the situation causing it. Explain."
Newt would have ignored them. He would have, too, just to be contrary but there was no chance that they would stop it if they did not know what the problem was. There was little chance they would stop once they did.
"Stop telling him I'm possessed. He can't hear that. He assumes it is a joke. You're making this more painful than it has to be and you said you wouldn't do that."
This whole situation was more painful than it had to be. Just everything about it.
Newt had never accepted that they had to take Earth or they had to do it in his lifetime or that they had to use him to do it. Maybe it was more convenient for them but convenience and necessity were not the same thing. Given how abominable way the human race was treating their planet, if they just checked back in in a few centuries or millennia maybe the world would be ready for them without any of this horror.
And even if controlling him was necessary, which it wasn't, the way they were so graciously 'indulging' him by allowing him control of his body when they willed it was cruel as well. As was this entire little visit with Hermann thus far. What could possibly be the point? Proving Hermann couldn't tell the difference, by extension that no one could tell the difference? Was that really 'necessary'?
What did they want from him anyway?
"We do not seek to be cruel though it is understandable you do not trust that," the precursors said after a moment. "The possession comment is the type of thing you would turn into a running joke and continue to bring up. But you are correct. It is not rational that reminding you of something that you cannot forget would cause you further distress but that distress is not necessary. We will drop the matter."
Newton felt an overpowering sense of relief settle on him and had to fight the bizarre impulse to thank the precursors. Now being as big of dicks as they could be was not the same as kindness. He didn't know how he was going to come out of this, if he or the human race was going to live through it, but he was not going to get Stockholm Syndrome. Not that easily.
Assuming they allowed it, he'd have to read up on Stockholm Syndrome later. Maybe it wouldn't matter to him later but it mattered now. He needed to know more about it than just sympathizing with or aligning yourself with your captors. He wanted to do everything he could to prevent himself from falling into it. And maybe he wouldn't succeed. He didn't succeed at a lot of things. Things like keeping his own head.
But he honestly had nothing better to do and if he couldn't not be possessed he could at least try and make it not all 'more than mind control.'
Hermann, oblivious as always, said, "So I assume Frankenstein made the list?"
The precursors gave him an incredulous look. "Of course. I mean, it's early 30s so the sound work is terrible and it's not all that faithful to the book. There's a friend named Victor and Frankenstein is, like, Henry Frankenstein. And like no one we care about is even dead. And it's not like I want everyone to die! I enjoy a good happy ending! But this shit is pre-code so what's there excuse? I want something like Baby Face, you know?"
"If I say yes can I avoid having to watch whatever that is with you?"
"We'll see," the precursors said in a tone that clearly meant they would be watching it later. Newt wondered if he would be the one who got to do that. It really was a fascinating movie though he didn't judge the main character as harshly as people from the era did. Was she great? Of course not. Was she the horrible monster the movie seemed to think she was? Well, he didn't see that. "I always hated the death of Elizabeth but the monster just making her pass out or whatever is really lame. And why is he not all erudite and shit but instead can't even talk and has those bolts? They have an Igor they name Fritz and some evil doctor to even further divorce 'Henry' from what Frankenstein did. And even though it ends happily they make a million sequels so I can only assume everyone dies eventually. Nothing worse than a sequel undoing the happy ending of the original."
He had watched the Benedict Cumberbatch and Jonny Lee Miller version way back in 2011 and honestly hadn't ever managed to forgive the monster for how Elizabeth had been so kind and good and willing to reach out to and accept the monster and he had rejected her and tried to assault her because his hatred at Frankenstein burned so bright. She had deserved so much better.
"From what I understand, though, some of the sequels were actually rather good."
The precursors snorted. "Don't care. I do not approve of the Hollywood sequel machine."
"Well, it's not like I'm going to be arguing for more monster movie time," Hermann said, laughing.
"Geez, Hermann, it's almost like you don't even want to be here," the precursors said sarcastically.
"Oh, I most certainly want to be here with you. I just can think of about a dozen better things we could be doing off the top of my head."
Newt would have absolutely done something about the look that Hermann was giving him had he been able. And he refused to feel grateful for the fact the precursors did not follow his thoughts there and act on them.
"Well you're out of luck," the precursors said. "I'm here to watch monster movies and I can do that with you or without you."
Hermann smiled wryly. "I do think you've just summed up the entirety of our relationship, Newton."
The precursors rolled Newt's eyes. "Oh, don't be so dramatic. But with Frankenstein of course comes Dracula. I mean. Dracula. Same year as Frankenstein and Bela Lugosi hamming it up so damn good. And it really works for Dracula, you know? But I just can't take it very seriously as a horror film because of it."
"Given the state of effects nearly a century ago, I'd be worried if you could. And anyway, you've nearly been eaten by a kaiju and lived the end of days for twelve solid years. What is a little vampirism compared to that?"
The next words came out almost before Newt was aware he had even thought them. There was something unsettling about that. Just how deep did the precursor tendrils go? "I wonder what it'd be like to fuck a vampire."
Hermann gave him a flat look. "Of course you do."
"I mean, not that I'd actually do it or anything. But I'm just curious."
"Vampires aren't real, Newton."
"You say such hurtful things," the precursors sniffed.
"From what I understand, the accent is ridiculous anyway and perhaps in real life if someone with a ridiculous accent was trying to kill you it would still be terrifying but in a movie from, again, almost one hundred years ago I just can't imagine it."
Hermann seemed really preoccupied about that being from a century ago thing.
"Well we'll see. And the accent parodies are really over the top. Besides, who are you to call anyone's accent ridiculous Mr. 'I swear I'm actually German.' Most British person I know."
That was an old…not exactly argument. Something stung about hearing it when he wasn't the one to bring it up.
"You don't exactly know a lot of British people."
"And all of them are less British than you."
Hermann just shook his head. "Then what? Wolf Man?"
"Of course!" the precursors exclaimed. "It's the Trifecta! Frankenstein, Dracula, Wolf Man! Though it's actually kind of a weird combination, if you think about it. Two classic books, neither of them supposed to be cool monster movies, and this weird werewolf movie that doesn't even care about the fool moon. Plus this is 1941 so, like, it's World War 2 which is just weird. Then again, the other two movies were all Great Depression. Hollywood can feel kind of cut off from the circumstances of the world around it."
"Okay," Hermann said, "so we have three movies so far."
The precursors grinned somewhat sheepishly at Hermann. "Yeah, you know we're not stopping at three, right?"
Hermann drew back in slight alarm. "But this is, what, six hours? Maybe less if the movies are shorter than that."
"Hey, if this movie night becomes a movie week then so be it," the precursors said, quite unconcerned.
"You can't mean to do this every night. You can't."
There was no answer. Perhaps they didn't know themselves. He had thought, perhaps naively, that tonight would be it. It would be painful and he wouldn't be able to think about it in the morning but it would be over. But of course it wouldn't be. What, was he going to be used to destroy the world while sending silly selfies to Hermann on his coffee breaks?
He couldn't think about it now. What did it matter? He couldn't change what came. Not sitting here.
"This is who I choose to spend my life with," Hermann said, sounding somewhat bewildered.
Newt wanted to tell him that no, it wasn't. But that he wasn't going to get the dignity of that choice and for as long as the precursors allowed him to believe they would get to grow old together Hermann would have no way of knowing if it was really him or not.
Newt knew then that if he ever got the chance and Hermann ever asked him, he was going to swear up and down that these moments had only ever been him. It would hurt Hermann too damn much to know the truth and any catharsis Newt would get from finally revealing the truth would be dwarfed from how much it would hurt to watch Hermann hurt. He would only blame himself even though this couldn't be less Hermann's fault if it tried.
The precursors merely put on Newt's best smirk and wiggled his eyebrows. "Oh, yeah, this is. We've also got to have the Mummy. The original one, not the amazing 1999 remake. I mean, that one is way better but, like, we're going for a theme here and I am not so old that anything made in my lifetime is a 'classic.'"
Hermann looked disappointed. "Oh, but I saw the Brendan Fraser one! Both of them!"
"There's technically a third one but it recast the female lead so fuck it. And anyway, you already saw the remake. We've got to get King Kong, of course."
"Of course. I can assume I will get to hear your views on the racism and sexism in that film?" It wasn't quite a question because even if Hermann clearly didn't know Newt well enough to know when it was him or when it was aliens pretending to be him, the two hadn't met yesterday.
"I've literally published a paper about it."
Hermann gave Newt – or the precursors – gave someone in Newt's general direction a painfully fond look. "Newton, you know I've read all your papers."
That was what romance looked like between academics. Especially given how much Newt always published.
"Babe, you're a romantic," the precursors crooned.
"Your written words are brilliant, of course, but nothing is quite so vibrant as your spoken words," Hermann said, placing his hand on Newt's thigh.
The warmth of it burned him. He loved that feeling normally but only when it was for him. It was intended for him but it was not for him just the same.
Newt could feel the precursors direct a wordless question at him. As though they really cared so goddamn much about his input and what he was comfortable with. This was like step three on Plan B to destroy Newt's world.
"No, he'll only be upset if you pull away and he won't understand. Just don't let it go farther, okay? Don't you dare do that to him."
The precursors confusion made it clear that they didn't understand how allowing Hermann to act on his desires would be doing anything horrible to him and wasn't it a surprise that they didn't quite grasp such things as 'meaningful consent'? Still, they seemed amenable.
"I'm glad you feel that way," the precursors said. "Because you won't be getting out of it. I have had so many new thoughts since then."
"I look forward to it," Hermann said simply.
"You know, come to think of it, we should probably add Nosferatu to the list. It's another vampire one – well, kind of. They don't call it that and they don't call Dracula Dracula for copyright reasons and it was still supposed to be destroyed – but it's all German so like it's our heritage! A silent film which makes translating it easier but it'll probably just feel German?"
Hermann chuckled. "I am so proud of my heritage."
"Night of the Living Dead is the first zombie movie. They don't call them zombies, though."
Hermann frowned. "I'm not really very interested in zombies, Newton. They don't seem very interesting. And, while I understand that a certain amount of suspension of disbelief is necessary for these things it must be earned, the science behind the reanimated dead and not rotting and the need let alone desire to eat brains always grates at me and I cannot enjoy those kinds of films."
"Yeah, totally agree, there is nothing sexy about zombies," the precursors said vaguely.
Hermann gave Newt's body and its inhabitants a long-suffering look. "I wasn't looking for sexy zombies."
"Well good. Because they're not. But this is great anyway. Well, actually the female lead is the most incompetent character I've ever seen in my life but you can't have everything. They did a remake in maybe the 80s? Where she sucks less. I just can't support the whole world ending stuff. Here the army gets rid of the zombies so at least that. I actually saw a Night of the Living Dead musical once. I really should have bought that CD when I had the chance," the precursors said wistfully.
"I'm really surprised you didn't."
The precursors shrugged. "I figured I could find it online and then I never could."
"I quite agree about having no interest in even fictional end of days," Hermann said, shuddering. "I quite reject anything post-apocalyptical."
"It's called cancelling the apocalypse, assholes," the precursors said exactly like Newt would have. Like they cared about any of that. Like they weren't going to restart all of that nonsense and make all of the sacrifice and years they spent closing the breach utterly worthless. Well, maybe not entirely worthless. They had always known the fight at its most desperate was a fight for days. Well it'd been three years since they thought the kaiju were going to kill them all. The world could end tomorrow and they would still have had that. "And like fuck would the kaiju leave so many survivors."
"Newton, you know I would hate to stereotype you," Hermann said slowly. "I really would."
"Oh, of course," the precursors agreed with mock-solemnity.
"But given the fact you won't stop talking about how sexy monsters are-"
"Oh, please, it's come up like twice!" the precursors interrupted.
"This afternoon! The fact you can really say 'only twice'-"
The precursors crossed Newt's arms. "I am who I am Hermann."
If only that were true.
"Quite."
"It's really quite natural."
Hermann didn't even dignify that with a response. "Given your interest in that, I can only assume you want to see Creature of the Black Lagoon? No less than Marilyn Monroe in the Seven Year Itch was talking about how it needed love. Or, well, to stop killing everyone it meets. How is anyone supposed to love it when it just appears out of nowhere and crowds and then murders people?"
Yeah, Hermann was definitely not a monster fucker kind of a guy.
"I will concede there is a bit of a problem with treating white womanhood as the ultimate standard of purity and hotness and it doesn't make sense why all these nonhuman creatures are so gaga over the female lead all the time," the precursors said. They paused. "And I will be talking about that."
Was Newt seriously going to be forced to listen to the precursors unironically deliver his speeches about cinema and social justice? Seriously? These were the things that no one warned you about when you went off and got possessed.
"Your lecture series grows more and more promising."
"Oh, shut up," the precursors said, laughing. "There's Phantom of the Opera, the original one, but I'm not always the most sympathetic towards Mr. 'Consent? Is that a kind of food?' Phantom."
"You don't understand consent either! Come on!"
"We understand consent," the precursors said. "Perhaps not all the intricacies that you consider but that will come in time. It is just that it cannot always be taken into account. It would have been more pleasant had you agreed to any of this, for example, but it was going to happen anyway and if you did not have a chance to refuse you could not have had a meaningful consent. Well. Perhaps we are getting the hang of this."
"It's not as though I don't agree with you on many of these social issues, Newton, and I don't expect you to stop caring about them but why exactly do you watch these movies that cannot possibly live up to 2028 standards?" Hermann asked.
The precursors shrugged. "I can appreciate around the parts I absolutely can and will bitch about."
"Coming from you, I can believe it," Hermann muttered. "How many is that now?"
The precursors counted on Newt's fingers. "Nine, I think."
"I believe we should add the Invisible Man to the list," Hermann said guilelessly.
Newt got it immediately, of course, and as such so did the creatures pretending to be him.
"Really, Hermann? Really?"
Hermann gave the entities contained within Newt's flesh a level stare. "Yes, really, Newton."
"That's kind of passive-aggressive, don't you think?"
"I really don't know what you mean," Hermann said passive-aggressively. "I only feel it is a classic movie and while the villain is a man he does turn himself invisible and kill quite a few many people and we did not define the term 'monster' here so I believe it fits."
"Nothing to do with the fact that the monster is a brilliant scientist who foolishly experiments on himself and is driven crazy and gets people killed and dies?" the precursors asked skeptically.
Hermann's jaw dropped. "My, does that happen in this movie?"
"You are such a dick."
"Stop drifting with a kaiju brain," Hermann ordered.
But he had. Or at least for now. It would be madness to try and set up a kaiju brain here at the PPDC but once he was gone…With the precursors inside of him looking to cement and maintain control it seemed very likely that was in his future again. Images of the seizures and the nausea and the blood and the images and the eyes flashed through his head and his breathing actually hitched.
Hermann looked curiously at him but said nothing.
His breathing resumed its normal rate.
He had stopped. And what a fat lot of good that had done him.
"You say stop as if I've done it more than twice!" the precursors whined.
"Again, the fact we even have to say 'only twice'-" Hermann began.
"Hey, you did it, too!" the precursors interrupted. "And only once isn't quite as bad as only twice but it is almost!"
"It was in an effort to help save the world," Hermann said calmly.
"And what do you think mine was?!" the precursors demanded, waving Newt's hands wildly about and almost hitting Hermann in the face.
Hermann leaned back to avoid being hit and consequentially removed his hand from Newt's thigh.
Newt missed it immediately even as he told himself firmly it was better that way.
"It was in an effort to save you. I told you before, you are not acceptable collateral damage, Newton," Hermann said quietly but earnestly. The soft look he gave Newt was unfair, it really was. What was he supposed to do with that shit, even had he been able to?
The precursors gave him the same look back. "Hermann…"
"Don't. And especially not about that. It doesn't matter if I was acceptable collateral damage or not, he couldn't save me. I was – am? – collateral damage and he doesn't even know it and he thinks we're happy and that we're safe and that we're good and I just…don't."
The precursors didn't move.
After an expectant moment, Hermann cleared his throat awkwardly. "Well. Anyway. We should add it."
"Okay."
Hermann furrowed his brow. "Just like that?"
"Just like that," the precursors confirmed. "But I'm also putting Rosemary's Baby on there and I think the entire movie will be one nonstop feminist rant. I mean, come on? First of all, what kind of moron rents an apartment in a building linked to cannibalism and murder? Then she dreams she's gang-raped by demons and her husband is watching and he admits that he raped her while unconscious because what if that was the only way she could get pregnant? And he is in on using her to conceive a demon baby – as if they can't find an actual Satanist – so he can get more acting roles? Like Jesus fucking Christ, I want to murder like everyone in that movie except the friend who dies and his daughter who seems cool and Rosemary. Like, she seems a little too peaceful at the end but she's clearly not in her right mind and needs like five therapists stat."
"I mean, if you clearly hate the movie so much, why do we need to watch it?" Hermann asked.
"I never said I hated it," the precursors said, sounding surprised. "Though it was a Roman Polanski movie. But at least it came out almost a decade before he fled the country to escape the consequences of molesting a child? I don't know. My fave is problematic? Not that that's my favorite anything but you know what I mean."
Hermann just shook his head. "I would love to hear how you would talk about movies you did hate, then."
The precursors huffed out a laugh. "You really wouldn't. But you might get your chance."
"I look forward to taking our relationship to the next level then," Hermann deadpanned.
Newt told himself very firmly that such an innocuous and joking statement was not breaking his heart.
"So. You're going to hate this one."
Hermann raised an eyebrow at that. "With that attitude I probably will."
"It's stupid. I know it's stupid. It got terrible reviews even if audiences loved it. And the plot is stupid. They don't even really explain things?" the precursors rambled and it all sounded and felt so much like one of Newt's own rants might have that he could almost forget for a moment that it wasn't, even though it had been plucked directly from his brain. Almost. "But I saw it at a formative age and it just, like, terrified me."
"The suspense is killing me."
The precursors squared Newt's shoulders and took a deep breath. "The Blob."
Hermann looked horrified. "No."
The precursors twisted Newt's lips into a rueful grin. "Afraid so."
Hermann crossed his arms petulantly. "I refuse."
The precursors gave Newt a 'what can you do' expression. "It's probably not even that bad."
"You don't know?" Hermann demanded.
"I haven't actually seen it since I was like seven," the precursors admitted. Or admitted about Newt because they had never seen it and certainly not when they were seven. "But audiences loved it!"
"Audiences love a lot of things! Popularity is not a sign of quality!" Hermann pointed out.
"Well it can't hurt," the precursors reasoned. "And who knows? Maybe this time you can complain the whole time."
"I don't want to complain the whole time."
The precursors nodded Newt's head. "Well, that's your choice then. But no complaining means no complaining."
"Maybe some complaining," Hermann allowed.
Newt's mouth grinned brightly and he watched the way that Hermann melted at the sight, the same way he always did. The same way he did when it was Newt doing the grinning. "I knew I loved you for a reason."
Newt realized that his hands were shaking almost imperceptibly. The precursors curled them into fists and uncurled them and they were still.
"You didn't like that," the precursors observed. "Why?"
Newt hadn't liked any of this but he knew what they meant. But what could he say?
"Love," he managed.
"Because you love this man and he loves you and he believes us to be you you do not want to…tarnish the words and what you have by having us say the words to him, perhaps having him say them back to us," the precursors realized slowly. "This is irrational. He will not know. You will know he does not know. He would be speaking to you anyway. None of this matters. And those words in this context are not a serious declaration but a saying near strangers could say to one another. You require such careful handling, Newton."
"That's what every little boy dreams of hearing one day," Hermann quipped.
"If you want a real trip, which I do, Masque of the Red Death," the precursors said. "Everyone's always a Satanist in these films because I don't think they can think of any other way to explain why all the people pull all this weird and horrible shit. It's dark and weird and, like I said, kind of a trip. I kind of love it. Some of the other deaths sound kind of cool, though. The white death and the golden death. But I'm sure they'd be very unpleasant. Wikipedia says the white death is tuberculosis and the golden death is leprosy which, uh, no thanks. But I always thought the red death was tuberculosis and while the short story it's based on by Edgar Allan Poe didn't actually define the illness it really does seem like it was tuberculosis. And, well, coughing up blood. Red. Like everyone he ever loved died of tuberculosis. Or like his friend's mom he was weirdly close to had brain cancer or something. Wikipedia claims the red death here is rabies which is just…you know?"
"Newton, I worry about you enough without you talking about cool death," Hermann said frankly.
He should. He really should. But he'd never be able to worry enough. How much worrying could possibly be sufficient for a person possessed and helpless and being indulged and going to one day end the world?
"Well, I mean, an illness isn't going to be all that cool no matter what the name. I'd rather be eaten by a kaiju," the precursors said, thoughtfully tapping one of Newt's fingers on Newt's chin.
And it was even true. After that whole thing with Otachi and Hannibal – and how was that man even still alive? Clearly he needed to move up Newt's list of role models – and everything.
"I forbid you from getting eaten by a kaiju."
"I mean, it'd be pretty unlikely anyway. All things considered. Since we saved the world and all," the precursors said.
Hermann gave him a serious look. "Promise me you won't be eaten by a kaiju."
The precursors gave Hermann a charming grin. "I mean, is that really the kind of thing you can promise someone?"
Hermann didn't take the bait. "Newton."
"Which is it?" the precursors asked reasonably. "Am I not allowed to or do I need to promise I won't?"
"Both."
"You're no fun," the precursors promised.
"I haven't heard any promise."
The precursors rolled Newt's eyes and gave a long-suffering sigh. "Fine, fine, I won't get eaten by a kaiju. But just so you know, Hannibal Chau did and he's totally fine and he went on all the 'I survived' shows and wrote a book and is a total rock star. And I literally saw it happen and I have seen him since then and I still can't believe he's still alive."
"Newton, don't adopt that man as your role model," Hermann said immediately.
The smile the precursors gave Hermann was equal parts self-deprecating and condescending. "Hermann, I think we both know that it's a little late for that."
Hermann looks up at the ceiling. "I am in love with a moron."
It warmed Newt's chest to hear, even now. That was how Hermann had said it the first time and it was his favorite way to hear Hermann say it though he said it all the time and in all different combinations of words. It was like after keeping it inside for so long he simply couldn't bear not to say it at every possible opportunity.
It was always so good to hear. It never gave him any room to doubt it and God only knew all it took was Newt being left alone for five minutes before those doubts started. Hermann knew that, too, come to think of it.
But this time it hurt.
Every time Hermann said he loved him, Newt returned the sentiment even more eagerly. He didn't want it to become trite, all 'I love you' and 'I love you too' but how could he possibly hear those words and not want to just express how much he mean them right back?
Newt waited to hear them again in his own voice.
"Well that's rude. I'm sitting right here. Go confess your love to this moron on your own time," the precursors said instead, a teasing edge to Newt's voice.
"I was thinking perhaps Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde to round it out?" Hermann suggested. "Though I'm not sure which one because there are so many."
Honestly, Newt had always found the story rather fascinating. A brilliant scientist discovering something no one else had before and creating a technological breakthrough no one else could replicate. The original story was actually somewhat of a mystery though the title was far too ubiquitous now for such a thing to remain true.
But now he was feeling just a little too close for comfort to Jekyll and he waited to hear what Hyde would say.
The precursors winced. "Really, Hermann? That's just…you know…"
"What? He does become a monster. Literally with the potion. And you include the Invisible Man!"
"Well that one was also your suggestion," the precursors reminded him.
"Is it because he experiments on himself again? Because I really don't mean to keep bringing that up," Hermann said, a touch apologetically. "I know ordinarily you would…well, I can't say never but you do want to avoid being another mad scientist archetype on that front, at least. I am sorry to keep bringing that up."
"It's fine," the precursors said dismissively. "But he does die and he does hurt and even kills the people he loves and he did it to himself and he thought he could handle it and he thought there was no other choice but he ends up just causing a whole host of new problems and no one can help him until it's too late."
It was a probable glimpse into Newt's future and not one he really wanted to take today sitting next to the man he loved and having been able to contribute literally nothing to the entire evening thus far.
"All of that is true but that's a rather dark take on it from you," Hermann said carefully.
The precursors shrugged Newt's shoulders. "What can I say? It's a rather dark story."
"We don't have to watch it," Hermann said gently. "If you don't want."
"No, I…" the precursors ran Newt's fingers through his hair. "It's fine. The 1941 version. Everyone prefers the 1931 version and says it's too similar but it has Spencer Tracy and Ingrid Bergman and Lana Turner so why not?"
But Hermann remained unconvinced. "Newton…are you sure?"
"Yeah. Of course I am. It's just a movie. And if I'm still a little sensitive about…you know…" the precursors trailed off and forced a smile. "Well I really should just get over it, right?"
"You can't just decide to get over things."
"Sure you can," the precursors said easily. "It's just not very effective. And I'm not. But exposure therapy, right? Baby steps."
Hermann continued to watch Newt's body closely. "Well, I was also thinking about Invasion of the Body Snatchers."
"There is no way in hell," the precursors said before Newt could even react himself. His reaction would have been the same, he suspected.
"Newton?" Hermann asked.
"Sorry, nope, can't do it. I would sooner stab myself in the face."
"You really don't need to be so dramatic," Hermann told him.
"I do," the precursors insisted.
"And…do you want to explain?"
"I can't even with the idea of aliens replacing you and nobody really noticing despite acting differently right now," the precursors replied.
"Because you're being slowly replaced by the precursor hive mind?" Hermann asked rhetorically.
It felt like the bottom had dropped out of Newt's stomach. What…? Had he…? Was he really about to…?
Then he remembered.
"Yes. Exactly."
"Well, this is supposed to be fun – theoretically, I'm still not convinced – and it doesn't really matter why you don't want to do it. You don't and that's enough for me," Hermann said. "We have several days' worth of material to work with as it is."
"I refuse to leave this room until we finish all of them," the precursors declared dramatically.
Newt felt a twinge of fear flood through him. Were they going to stay out in the open interacting with Hermann this entire time? Those were a lot of movies. Maybe possible to watch in a 24-hour period if one did little else. He didn't know how he could handle that but, of course, if that's what they decided then he would have no choice but to try.
"And that is your choice, Newton, but I have work in the morning."
"We'll see."
Hermann crossed his arms. "I mean it."
"Yep."
"It's going to happen," Hermann said, sounding less certain of this by the second.
"I'm not arguing with you, Hermann," the precursors pointed out.
Hermann bit his lip. "I'll call in."
"We would call this experiment a success," the precursors said.
Of course they would. Hermann hadn't noticed a thing. They had outright told him what was happening, multiple times, and he still hadn't seen.
And Newt was, against all odds, still somewhat in one piece.
Then a miracle happened. His hand automatically moved to scratch an itch on his other hand and he realized he was the one doing it.
He blinked a few times and his breathing quickened.
"Newt?" Hermann asked, looking at him quizzically.
Newt reached over and grabbed Hermann's hand and held it in his. "So. Which one do you want to watch first?"