TAMPERED INNOCENCE
Written by Playgirl Eugene
Author's Note : Hi, all. This is the new, revised version of the story Tampered Innocence. I realized that my older stories contain plenty of grammar mistakes, event mistakes, and many other errors. So, I decided to repost everything all over again. I hope with this, my old readers will continue to support me and I will attract some new readers as I tried to improve my writing style and grammar.
Standard Disclaimer : Naruto and all of the characters, including the original plot and situations, is created and owned by Kishimoto Masashi-sensei. I own nothing of it and I do not earn profit of any kind from this and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended. This disclaimer stands firm for the whole of the story. Furthermore, if I use any material that needs to be disclaimed, there will be individual credit where due.
Summary : Naruto wanted to drag Sasuke home, by the hair kicking and screaming if he had to, and he did. It came with a price that no one was prepared to pay.
Rating : T – 15/PG
Warning(s) : Slash/yaoi/male x male, cursing, graphic violence, and explicit mentions of blood. If any of the aforementioned warnings offends you, I suggest you turn back now.
Setting and Timeline : AU-ish and not following the exact cannon.
Character Setting : Itachi/Naruto, others undecided
Chapter Details : None in particular.
- Prologue -
"… Are you happy?"
"Somehow I always knew that he'll be the one to bring you home, Sasuke-kun…"
Sakura had smiled as she spoke to her former teammate. She didn't have to elaborate who or why. But Sasuke merely stared at her, yet not really looking at her, as if not really concerned with her presence, but slightly curious about what she wanted. Sakura chuckled, realizing that Sasuke hadn't changed so much. He still treated her like she was a spare, the unnecessary extra tagged in their little band of trio when it could have been a solo or duo that suited him just fine, and she hoped that she didn't sound as bitter as she felt. Sakura knew that this time, she had to let go.
With accepting eyes, she watched Sasuke lying against the white sheets of the hospital, looking pale and weary yet still devastatingly handsome. The confident, vengeance-driven boy was gone, perhaps not wholly, but nearly replaced by an older, more shattered version of himself.
With a note of longing, Sakura admitted to herself that Sasuke had been and still was her first love. He was someone she had liked and may still like more than she'd admit. But she had grown up too, a respectable kunoichi now-Tsunade made sure of that with her literal iron fists-no longer the clueless rookie who spent her waking hours cooing over sad, brooding boys.
It hurt a bit, but Sasuke's intense gazes, his rare almost-smiles, his wayward gentleness, everything were reserved not for her, never for her, and she knew it: she had witnessed it all by the first class seat-that was between them when it happened-since that notorious, accidental shojo-mangaesque (or Icha Icha, as Kakashi quipped, but Sakura was not overly picky) 'first kiss' scene during the academy days.
Suspicion rose within her, something was wrong-no, missing-from the picture here, all too white and pristine and quiet, and when she managed to figure out what, she couldn't help but ask, "Where's Naruto?"
Sasuke only showed reaction then; he tensed and suddenly he looked away. Sakura frowned, her eyebrows knitting together. It was unheard for an Uchiha, for Sasuke to break eye contact.
Something was… wrong.
"… Sasuke?" Sakura asked softly and hesitantly, as if talking to a weary, wounded animal.When they were twelve, Sasuke could only be described as a prince in her rose framed glasses, but at the moment, Sakuracouldn't think of anything more suitable.
"… He wasn't there."
Sakura wasn't sure whether Sasuke was talking to her or had he even noticed her being there at all. He sounded lost, defeated. She never heard him like that. But it felt like some delicate balance of the world was upset and shattered. What did Sasuke mean? Where was Naruto? And what as it with this uneasiness she felt the moment she heard those words leaving Sasuke's mouth?
When it dawned to her-the meaning, the pain, the fear, everything-Sakura felt a heated wave of fury. She never thought that the day would come. Of all things, she should've simply blamed Naruto for breaking another promise. Not the one to drag the Uchiha back, kicking and screaming as he had so eloquently phrased it. He had kept that one. It was the other promise, that he'd always be there as a friend, the sun, everything that anchored reality. That he wouldn't let her lose anymore of the Team 7.
Really, Sakura would never imagine this a few years back. But at that moment, Sakura had hated Sasuke more than anything in the world.
There was a peculiar silence draped on the four unmoving figures in the Hokage's office that damp, foggy morning. It was a gloomy day outside, with opaque sky and grey rainclouds, almost too fitting for a funeral.
The silence was unusual, considering that Jiraiya, Kakashi, and Tsunade were breathing the same air. It was thick and tense, making Shizune fidget uncomfortably as she stood beside the Hokage's desk.
Something had happened and she was about to find out what.
The Godaime was slumped on the back of her impressive seating, bearing a defeated slouch as she let out a soft sigh. Her piles of paperwork were cast aside, forgotten in mountains on her desk. She was too lazy to sort them out.
She closed her eyes and massaged her temple slowly, trying to chase her migraine away. It had been two weeks since Naruto's passionate declaration to 'drag the bastard's sorry ass back by the hair kicking and screaming if I have to-ttebayo' and it had stressed her like nothing else. Drag him back indeed. As a new day seized, Tsunade was growing more uneasy, stressed and temperamental and nothing good came of a moody Tsunade.
Not that she hadn't been always; but it simply gotten worse to a point where even Jiraiya would think twice before making his unnecessary running commentaries at the blond haired woman. She was tired, her works were piling endlessly, and Shizune apparently found her hidden stack three days ago and had taken to confiscate it. What worst, Naruto went missing.
Suddenly, she felt old. In such times, it felt like the jutsu holding up the appearance of the woman in the prime of her youth, no longer worked their magic and the weight of her true age fell upon her. Time could be such a cruel reality, eating away what little of human temporaries and the bitter blows of age felt even more real than ever. With her being young no more, Tsunade legitimately deemed it was about time she retired.
But time and again, as she gazed down upon the village of Hidden Leaf, she felt a pang in her heart. This was a home she had thought she lost, one she never thought of returning to, that she had long ago given up, that she now wished to protect for all its ignorance and faults. She had decided to try and let go, to let her time move again. And she never felt so alive since she found a home in her brother and lover. It was still painful, but now more bearable.
Yet, despite the fierce emotions and undying will, she knew she was old and so very tired for political plays and bloody wars and worrying over little boys with too much energy to go around the seventh level of hell and back.
Her main concern now was this obstinate loud-mouth of a brat who had unknowingly, so clumsily wormed his way into her hardened heart and that of the village's precious Uchiha survivor.
Sasuke had escaped Kakashi's surveillance, ran away from the village and injuring so many while at it, and as the epitome of his bubbling treachery, he joined her misguided former teammate who had this sick ambition and equally sick fascination for beautiful children.
He broke the rules. In the world of shinobi, he's the worst of scum.
But Naruto had taken Kakashi's words to heart for each of its syllable: those who broke the rules were scum, but the one who abandoned his comrades was worse. So he had taken off and chased after Sasuke. Again. Again. This time, on his own.
That brat was too impulsive. And so damned kind.
Tsunade had always suspected that something was going on between him and the Uchiha, perhaps not quite a romantic involvement, but something softer and more fragile, a semblance of budding, delicate friendship, could be more. Might have been more. But Sasuke had thrown everything out the window and messed up, choosing to avenge the dead than to live a life where he could find so much more.
Uchiha Sasuke had been arrogant and foolish, and Naruto had been so broken.
Tsunade never thought that she'd one day see the brat looking so dejected, those high-summer blue eyes so lifeless and mirthless as he stared into a dark, untouchable place.
To be honest, Tsunade didn't think that Naruto was a ninja material. He had the potential, not the heart. But then, maybe it was only because Naruto's harmless ignorance that oddly contradictive Team 7 even lasted half as long. Unconsciously, he bound the team with his relentless, fiery nature. She was sure that Sasuke and Sakura would agree, even if they wouldn't admit it. After all, her old team was the same. Jiraiya had been the loud, annoying goofball between the genius, if arrogant Orochimaru and her intelligent, controlled self.
Now, Naruto was gone. It was as if the light itself died in Konoha. And the rest? Did it even matter anymore?
She could only hope that Naruto managed to stop and bend the Uchiha's wayward path before everything was too late to stop. The council wouldn't tolerate the attempt of betrayal, even by the Uchiha Sasuke, especially if a war really did take place between Konoha and Otogakure. The old bastards wouldn't stand the humiliation should the other villages learn about Konoha's darker secrets, the fallen clan and the insane Sannin.
Tsunade finally stopped rubbing her temples, looking up to the uncharacteristically solemn Jiraiya, Kakashi, and her apprentice who stood nervously beside the Jounin. As honey brown coloured eyes regained control over the swirling emotions, Tsunade sighed and pulled herself straight.
"Well?" Tsunade's face did not betray a single emotion, but there was anxiety in her voice as she looked alternately between Jiraiya and Kakashi, expectant of an answer. And hopeful. Hopeful mostly. Naruto's safety had and would always come first for her, even before the village itself. She was aware that it was wrong for her as Godaime to think as she did, but even she once had lover, once a sister before she was a Hokage or even a kunoichi. She had lost everything and it took years to regain another. Tsunade wasn't about to lose Naruto and pretended not to care.
Kakashi's posture suggested his usual laidback manner as he leaned against the wall with his arms crossed. But his visible eye was sombre as he shook his head warily, and like Tsunade, he had never been this easy to read in a long while. Not since Obito. His constant worrying over his students, both the genius who ran away and the dead last who chased him, had overwhelmed his past defences as guilt and regrets and fear for that haunting echo of a bad history swelled within him. If only this, if only that. What else could he do now?
What should he do now?
"Still nothing." Kakashi said carefully, his shoulders tensing slightly as he anticipated a reaction. He received none.
Kakashi inhaled deeply as loosened his arms as he reached a hand behind his hair, scratching lazily. "I tried to question Sasuke about what happened at the Valley, but he would not answer. He kept saying that he wanted to see Naruto…" Even with the mask, Tsunade could see the faint line of Kakashi's lips curling into a cynical smirk. "Or rather, he demanded that Naruto agreed to meet and talk to him because apparently he believed that we're hiding Naruto from him. Before then, he won't answer anything."
Of course, Kakashi mentally snorted, Uchiha Sasuke answers to no one but Uzumaki Naruto. How… ironic.
Tsunade looked visibly crestfallen as she slumped on her seat again. How she wished she had some sake right now, anything to distract her from the thought that Naruto might be-god-forbid-dead.
"… I see."
"So in other words, the Uchiha brat also doesn't know what happened to Naruto. Is that it?" It was Jiraiya who spoke: the worry for his second disciple that he refused to admit was starting to eat him from the inside. He was itching to hit something. Hard. Preferably, that Uchiha brat's skinny little ass.
Kakashi shrugged. "More or less,"
Tsunade fisted her trembling hands, she refused to show her weakness now when the situation needed her full attention. She had to do something. Forcing herself to calm down, she nodded curtly at the Jounin.
"Thank you, Kakashi…"
Kakashi nodded slowly, unsure how to perceive the unexpected reaction.
Tsunade shifted her gaze to Jiraiya. For a while silence reigned again, as if the two could communicate telepathically through their eyes.
"What do you think?" Jiraiya finally decided, for the sake of their audience, to word their mental conference.
"It's not that I'm not… glad we have Sasuke-kun back," Tsunade answered with a weary sigh, shaking her head, her braided golden hair swinging in motion. It was a white lie. "That's one problem less to think about, though now we don't know who's gonna be Orochimaru's next victim so that's not really one problem solved."
But at what price? Is it worth it? Is it worth Naruto? Tsunade asked herself, denial bubbling vindictively. No, I'd rather that Uchiha brat die than to lose him.
Tsunade suddenly felt that familiar, hateful chill that crept up her spine in the most unsettling manner. It was the same before Nawaki's death, before Dan's death, before Orochimaru's turned to lunacy. It was a premonition. She could almost feel the brat slipping through her fingers, so like the way she lost her loved ones years ago.
How much more loss could she take before insanity took over? How much more death could she witness and endure?
No. No! It's not going to happen again. I won't allow it to happen again! Tsunade chanted in her head, trying to ignore how it became less and less convincing the more time she promised it.
Jiraiya looked at her knowingly, knowing her well enough to know that Tsunade was on the verge of something. He heard her metaphorical mental snap. He just wasn't sure it was her patience, or worse, sanity. They couldn't have her breaking down now, out of all time. The council was a group of stuck-up, useless old bags, and with Orochimaru declaring a war against Konoha, they couldn't afford the Hokage crumbling.
As the Godaime, Tsunade had a lot to live up to. From her grandfather to Yondaime, each and every one of them gave up their lives to protect this village. Jiraiya had met each one of those honourable ninjas, and realized that Tsunade shared the same duties. Even if her love for the village came second to her love Naruto, despite how difficult the decision would be to choose between them.
Jiraiya never had that kind of tie with Konoha, one of the reasons why he refused to be a Hokage. He was an egoist, and yes, a pervert, but never an idiot. Like the novelist he was, Jiraiya was an idealist who rebelled against reality. He favoured himself like the wind and the bird: free, spirited, self-centred. He didn't want to be restrained or forced to make a choice. By force, if it had to come down to it. Being a Hokage meant to make choices, sometimes driven to a corner. Making choices meant to sacrifice. Just like Sandaime who chose to give up his life. Just like his student who died and damned his son to a condemned life.
Looking away from the blond haired woman, his gaze landed on Kakashi, whose trademark book was absent from his hands. He wondered what the Jounin was thinking now.
- Flashback
The memory was vague, but Sasuke recalled bits of them. It had been years ago-not so long ago but felt longer than it really was-when he found Naruto sitting on Yondaime's head, his cheeky grins absent and making Sasuke tad uncomfortable.
It was the tenth of October. The village below was nearly drowned in black, people gathered in remembrance of the lives that was lost in the terror that swept them when Kyuubi no Kitsune laid its wicked eyes on this village, and to honour Yondaime's sacrifice.
It was also Naruto's birthday. Sasuke would not have noticed this if it wasn't for Sakura's earlier whining about Kakashi-sensei being late again and how it was starting to get to Naruto. Kakashi-sensei never did show up that day, and so did Naruto. He had ignored Sakura's pink-faced babbling-something about a romantic dinner for two-and went to the dobe's dingy apartment, wondering if he had finally choked on cup ramen and died.
When Sasuke realized that Naruto was not home, he had shrugged and walked away with all intention to go home. But somehow, he found himself walking down the familiar streets of the dobe's favourite places-Ichiraku first-and finally, to the Hokage Monument.
"Usuratonkachi," he greeted almost carefully, could have been mistaken for affectionately. If he noticed the bruise on Naruto's cheek and the pants-to-skin torn on his knee, he did not show it.
Naruto turned to him. He did not appear that surprised, but still irritated all the same. "Teme, the hell are ya doing here?"
"Hnn," Sasuke shrugged, himself honestly not knowing.
"Is that s'posed to mean something? Some kind of, I dunno, sign or language that only bastards get or what?" Naruto glared and crossed his arms, obviously in a touchy mood. Sasuke noticed that, when in anger, Naruto's eyes shifted hue to a brighter blue. Although it had loss some of its roundness, the eyes remained childlike and emotional. And expressively loud as his mouth. "Hnn this, hnn that, hnn my ass."
Sasuke smirked, "You know what, dobe, coming from you, that sounded wrong on so many levels."
Naruto spluttered, his face turning maroon. "Teme!"
Smirking still, Sasuke dropped beside Naruto, ignoring how the blond boy scrunched his face in that fox-like manner and muttered something about egoistical jerks, which Sasuke thought was meant to refer him.
"… What are you looking at anyway?" Sasuke asked as he folded propped his elbow against his bent knee casually.
Naruto shrugged, "I dunno. I was trying to figure that out, before you show your glorious duck-butt face here."
Sasuke twitched at the insult. His hair did not resemble anything's rear, thank you very much. In fact, Sasuke was sure that those who said that were simply jealous of his hair since girls seemed to go nuts over it. "Well, now I've seen everything. Usuratonkachi is thinking. I think I'm humbled,"
"What's that supposed ta mean, bastard!" Naruto yelled, before turning his eyes back to the village. "I was just… I was just thinking that… this is home. This is my home, right? It's gotta be-ttebayo."
Sasuke stared at Naruto, surprised that he sounded almost unsure. Vulnerable. It sounded, and seemed, wrong. He had almost snapped, "Of course it is, dobe. Even you're not that stupid."
But something held him back. Sasuke suspected that it was how Naruto's blue eyes had dimmed into a muted, almost grey colour.
"… Are you happy?" Sasuke suddenly asked, the words spilling from his mouth before he could stop it. If his father ever knew what loose tongue he developed around the dobe, he did not doubt that the Uchiha patriarch would blow a top. Sasuke immediately shook the thought away. Any memory of his family only served as painful reminders of Itachi's betrayal.
It was not time to think about that just yet. Not when he still lacked the power. But someday. Someday soon, he promised himself.
"Huh?" Naruto blinked at him, narrowing his eyes as if expecting some trap questions or Sasuke's mental stability that had never really been quite there.
Scowling and sighing exasperatedly, Sasuke glared at Naruto. "Are you happy? Here. Being here?"
"Well, yeah. Yeah, course I am. I mean, my friends are here. Sakura-chan is here, Iruka-sensei is here. Heck, even you are here. I can become a ninja, and then rule the world when I become Hokage. So I guess yeah, I'm happy."
"Hnn. That's not exactly what I mean, but whatever." Sasuke scoffed, "So you're happy with the stupid place. Isn't it enough to call it home?"
Naruto's dumbfounded expression almost made Sasuke felt embarrassed as the blond boy blinked rapidly for several times. "Wow… th-that's actually pretty deep. So ya can be nice too, huh, bastard?"
Sasuke shook his head and thumped Naruto upside his head until his face hit the ground and left facial impression. "It's not nice. It's called being sensible, which you are sorely lacking."
"Yeoowch! That hurts! What was that for, teme!"
Naruto, who never say die even when facing the fiercest missing nins, insane Sannin, and an angry Sakura, acted as if he was going to have brain damage-if he hadn't already-from the way he cradled his head while yelling about some delicate brains being abused by icy prats.
"… Hn. That's for being an idiot." Sasuke replied quietly as he looked away. "Anyway, happy birthday. Dobe."
Naruto phased from hysterics to shock to complete shut down as if he was the Yellow Flash himself. Blinking again, he stared at Sasuke long and hard before settling to poke him repeatedly on the ribs, nearly toppling the Uchiha over.
"Gyahaha-Usuratonkachi, what the hell!" If anyone ever asked that Sasuke was ticklish, he would have murdered then denied.
Naruto faked solemnity and scrunched his nose, "Who are you and what have you done to my bastard?"
Sasuke nearly bristled, "It is your birthday, isn't it?"
Naruto grinned madly at him, the smile not quite reaching his eyes but close enough. "D'awww, teme, I didn't think you'd care. Meh. That's almost, y'know, sweet of ya or whatever."
"Tch. How eloquent, dobe."
"Will ya stop callin' me that already?"
"No." Sasuke smirked.
Naruto shot him another withering glare, "Bastard."
"Hnn."
- End Flashback
Sai never understood bonds. Or Naruto. Rather, if he had to be obvious, Naruto's bond with Uchiha Sasuke. He knew about duties, pains, betrayal, and burdens, about death especially-if it was made a jutsu, every ROOT member would have made masters in their own right-and he was really trying hard to create bonds, despite his succession of failures, but he did not understand the nature of Naruto's fixation on the said bond.
"Sai" did not even exist. There shouldn't have been things such as personal connections and moral conflicts to him.
Was it jealousy-a simpler, baser instinct rather than raw emotion, something that even he could understand though not exactly feel-he wondered, when he witnessed how desperate, how obsessed Naruto was when it concerned the illustrious Uchiha despite Naruto's rather colourful recollection of hatred against the traitor.
To an extent, Naruto reminded Sai of someone who was the closest thing to precious that Sai ever had. For someone like Sai, who had and felt very little, memories of that person were guarded almost blindly, even when suppressed.
Maybe he should have Naruto made a picture book too. Sai would even make one for him just like how Naruto, with conscious effort or otherwise, had allowed him to finish his own picture book. Sai was unfamiliar with the dynamics of emotion, and he was not good at expressing them, but something compelled him to despite his five-year-old's capacity of understanding it.
Perhaps he admired-even pitied, but no, someone like him had no right to pity anyone-Naruto more than he thought.
Perhaps like how Naruto searched Uchiha in him, he was always searching the Shin in Naruto. Being orphans and solitary by compulsion since they were young, both Uchiha and Shin were like the family, friend, and everything luxurious that Naruto and Sai never had.
Perhaps that was why he could not bring himself to kill Uchiha Sasuke despite his order, because he was trying to protect a bond that he was not given a chance to protect when the disease murdered Shin.
Sai wondered which worse: that Shin had died and Sai could never see him again, or that Uchiha, who was still very much alive, but had betrayed Naruto for all his was worth over and over again.
Yes, Sai had decided. When Naruto return, whether or not he managed to bring back the Uchiha, Sai would offer him that.
Sai still remembered the promise when the walls and wind whispered that Uchiha Sasuke was finally back in Konoha, not quite unbroken but mostly in a piece, and Sai had leapt for the hospital.
Naruto had done it again. And Sai had this unexplainable need to see Naruto and his honest-to-god, shit-eating grin, to hear his stupid idealisms.
"Told ya I'd never let the bastard go. He's a bastard, but he's still comrade. I'll never abandon him. That's my nindo, dattebayo!"
He ignored the dirty glares of the healers as he rushed pass them and headed straight for the ward with that familiar, uncomfortable chakra of swirling black and purple that could only belong to the Uchiha. He noticed that the sun-like aura was absent.
He opened the door and saw Uchiha Sasuke sitting on the bed, "Ugly" sitting next to his bed.
"… He wasn't there."
"What do you mean Naruto wasn't there?"
And Sai never felt such fury since Deidara of Akatsuki resurrected Shin.
Had it been a year? It might have been more. No, no. It was more.
Kakashi hadn't visited the memorial stones since the start of Sasuke's treacherous little escapade.
It had been a while, he thought, since he last saw the names.
Names. So many names. Too many: innocents, murders, the wronged. People he had known, people he had admired, maybe even undeservingly loved. People who had loved him even.
Guilt, pain. Remorse. Anger, at Sasuke, at himself. Kakashi wasn't sure what himself should feel now.
Kakashi surprised himself. He always came before, why hadn't he since the Sasuke fiasco? Could he lie to himself-saying that he had missions, he had students now, he was away too often, he forgot even.
Now, he had no more reasons. At least, he couldn't say he had anymore student.
Was his it subconscious who was pointing an accusing finger at him? Was he too ashamed to face these people who weren't even here in this world anymore? Was he afraid of what Obito and Rin would think, of what Minato-sensei would say?
It was a very possible thing now, that Team 7, Team Kakashi, would be no more. Sasuke had gone off to Orochimaru, playing his role as the avenger with mindless stupidity that Kakashi hadn't expected to associate with the Rookie of the Year. Sakura had gone to train under Tsunade. There was nothing he could teach the girl more than a Sannin.
Sai was a different matter all together. Kakashi wasn't even sure that Sakura and Naruto-especially Naruto-ever really accepted him. Not that they didn't accept Sai, just his position as Sasuke's replacement. He had seen how Sakura looked a little guarded despite her effort around the former ROOT and how Naruto sometimes had this strange look on his face, as if he was seeing someone else in Sai's stead. It didn't take Sai a lifetime of familiarity or Kakashi to be a genius to know who.
And Naruto?
He might not even be alive anymore. Could he say that it was Sasuke's fault? Was it Naruto, for caring too much, for wanting Sasuke to return despite?
Or was it his conceited hypocrisy, his 'those who broke the rules are scum, but those who abandoned his comrades are worst than scum' that led Naruto to such desperate length to save Sasuke. Was it his fault for not noticing Naruto's struggle underneath? Why hadn't he tried to look deeper under the bravado, to see the insecure, wronged boy who wanted so much be acknowledged? Who wanted someone to look at him and not the demon within him?
Sometimes, he caught that look in Naruto's ill-fated eyes that were crying inside, screaming, that wanted to scream aloud, that was silently begging for someone to help him. Anyone.
He hadn't done a thing then.
He had hated the narrow-minded, bigoted villagers who were desperate for someone to blame that they pin a young boy, an orphan, with the hatred of so many people, with the death of so many people. He was abused, hated, spent. For knowing and not doing anything, Kakashi was ten times the bastard.
Did Sasuke saw it? Was it why he gave Naruto so much to hope for-friendship, approval, acceptance-even when he did betray him in the end? Was it why he didn't give a damn betraying this village that had loved him, that had condemned Naruto for something he didn't do?
Sasuke. Was it his fault spoiling the boy and encouraging his misguided hate and fanning his desire for revenge? Had he overestimated Sasuke?
It was no one's fault, no one's failure. It was his carelessness. Sometimes, he wondered why Sandaime forced him into babysitting a Genin team. He was never much of a teacher anyway: that was Iruka's department.
Suddenly, with the admittance, Kakashi felt as if the weight of everything that had happened since his sensei's death returned to him with a vengeance.
It was a good team, Kakashi told himself, and yet he realized it too late. He should have taught them more, taught them better-not just fancy techniques or climbing trees. He should have forced Sakura to see the harsh realities of the shinobi world earlier, told her that it was not about playing around or impressing boys. She could've become a better woman, a better kunoichi earlier.
Maybe he should have spent less time and attention on Sasuke, so that the boy wouldn't be so inflated, beat his ego down a few pegs or two dozens, and he might not have been so arrogant and he might have not betray them. Then he might still be here, Naruto might still be here. Team 7 would've still been here.
He could've made Naruto feel that he wasn't unneeded, that he was not an extra but a part of the team. Kakashi could've helped him with the basics that he so lacked. He could've been much stronger. Maybe he could've stopped Sasuke by now. Maybe he didn't even have to die.
He wronged Naruto the most. More than he wronged everyone else, he wronged the boy the most.
Perhaps he had wronged him the moment he looked at Naruto's golden hair and his mischievous, expressive blue eyes and denied, denied, denied-or was it ignored; he could've again reasoned that it hurt him to look and remembered-the obvious, striking resemblance between him and his sensei?
How should he start apologizing? Who should he start with?
Kakashi didn't know anymore.
All of a sudden, like spreading web of cracks over thin ice, Kakashi picked up a faint but nonetheless intimidating presence and his keen senses snapped into attention. He did not turn; his posture remained if slightly more rigid, but he was prepared to attack at the earliest note.
The shurikens came from unpredictable, yet vitally organized directions and it pierced Kakashi at the throat, heart, and lung. Kakashi gasped in pain and slowly dropped to his knees, sensing more than seeing as someone approached him before pale smog engulfed him and leaving only a trunk in exchange with a poof.
"I see that you're still sharp as ever," said a heavy, sarcastic voice that surrounded the place. "I thought hanging around brats would've dulled you,"
Kakashi, who was already perched himself casually on the heavy branch of the nearest tree, gave a sideway glance at the end of his eye before chuckling with dry humour, eye narrowing almost into a half-moon at his ministration.
"Yo! You never change," he said easily as he mock-saluted the scarred man in the familiar white uniform that he too used to wear.
Ibiki looked at him critically. "A pity though; I thought I could finally score one on you," said the interrogator with unchanging expression, "I had entertained several intriguing ideas to finding out what's in that twisted head of yours, copy-nin Hatake Kakashi."
Kakashi actually looked thoughtful for a minute before he crinkled his eyes again and waved his hand. "Yadda na… I would rather pass. It sounds like it will hurt."
"That's too bad." Ibiki said dismissively, "But I did not come here today to propose another interview session with you, Hatake."
"Oh?" Kakashi replied, almost casually. "So what do you want, Ibiki?"
A frightening, predatory smirk bloomed on Ibiki's scarred face. "Uzumaki Naruto. And all his stats in charts."
Kakashi's single eye widened as he turned fully to Ibiki. "Naruto? Why?"
"Because the ANBU thinks we need to be prepared for the worst case scenario. Come now, Kakashi, it wasn't too long ago that you were a part of it." Ibiki snorted, "Surely even you'd remember the old slogan, if you can't beat em, kill em."
Kakashi frowned. "Yeah, I remember. It had been an inspiring one… but what does it have to do with my stu-with Naruto?"
"We suspect that he was captured."
Now, Kakashi was very familiar with fear. Fear of death, fear of insanity, fear of guilt and murder, and every single fear known to man that loomed over them and brushed against their senses so very often. He always knew when there would be a storm, sensed it when someone was about to die. It had saved him many times and Kakashi had learned to immediately trust it.
"… By who?" He was almost afraid to ask.
It was yokan. A presentiment, a kind of sixth sense that he developed with Obito's death.
Kakashi never liked it when he had it. Like now.
"Akatsuki."
End Note : Err, so umm… please review and tell me what you think? And I would really appreciate any kinds of comments, criticisms (please, no flame), pointers, grammar corrections, and advises. I like Naruto honestly, but apparently not enough to diligently follow the series so I am a little lost about the canon and I am mostly making this up by trying to understand the characters rather than using Kishimoto-sensei's interpretation. Now, he's a bloody brilliant writer, but it is fanfiction after all.