Courage and Wisdom
By Somebody's Angel
After a long, boring day at sea Nav was ready to climb into her rack and pass out until the next morning. She had almost made it to the door of the cabin she shared with Kate when a book flew out the door and hit the floor in front of her with a thud, just barely missing her.
She stared at the book – a rather thick novel Kate had been reading – for a moment before turning and entering the cabin. Kate was sitting on her rack, head in her hands.
"Why are you throwing books?" Nav asked, amused.
"'Cause a cup gets glass all over the place." The frustration was evident in Kate's voice.
Nav sat on the desk chair in front of Kate, "What's wrong?"
"It's this whole thing with Freedman. For three days I was running around like a headless chicken, questioning orders and acting like a spoiled child when he was right on almost every point. It's just driving me nuts."
"I'm fine by the way."
Kate finally looked up. "I'm sorry. Are you okay?"
Nav smiled, "Yeah. You missed me by a mile. As for the Freedman thing, he rubbed you the wrong way and you overreacted, it happens. If it helps, I don't think anyone other than Charge even liked him, we just weren't in his line of fire like you were."
Smiling gratefully at the younger officer, Kate leaned back on her bed and looked up at the slats of Nav's rack. Nav took the opportunity to shrug her overalls off her shoulders and tie the sleeves around her waist, ready for bed.
"I wish I had your courage."
If Nav had been drinking she would have choked at Kate's words. As it was she spluttered numerous times before responding, "W-w-wh-what? Me? Courageous? You're the one jumping aboard ships with guns blazing, while I just watch from my comfortable indoor bridge."
Kate just smiled ruefully, "That's not courage, that bravado. I have a team of skilled sailors backing me up whenever I do a boarding. You not only had the courage to stand up to the captain, you also had the wisdom to pick the right moment. I was trying to challenge the new captain the whole day and got nothing but ridiculed for it. You resist and get the whole crew to stand by you."
Nav looked down at her hands twisting in her lap, unsure how to respond. She opened her mouth without knowing what words would emerge, however Kate saved any possibly embarrassing comments by continuing.
"I just hope I'm never in a situation where the crew have to choose between you or me."
Though she hadn't exactly been a full participant in the conversation, now Nav was officially lost. "Huh?"
"Today the crew stood by you the instant you voiced your disapproval. I know there are few sailors on this ship who would side against you in a disagreement."
"Ah, now we're on the same page. A wacky page written in a completely incomprehensible language, but the same page nonetheless." Despite every fibre of her being wanting to climb to her rack and not have to face Kate while having this conversation, there was no way Nav could escape the XO's sea green eyes.
"Do you really think they would have stood by me the other day if you hadn't? No-one moved or responded until you followed me." Nav was still stunned silent, gaping at the blonde she had come to consider a friend. "Come on, you know there's no way any of them would pick me over you, especially the junior sailors." She sighed, "I spend so much time being the officer I forgot about being the friend."
Nav smiled, glad to finally be able to add to the discussion. "You just have to loosen up on the rules a little, especially off the boat. Spend time with the boys outside of your official duties, get to know the person behind the sailor." She reached over and placed a hand on Kate's shoulder, "Don't be so hard on yourself, you've only been on patrol boats for a year. Give yourself a little time to get used to the closer quarters, you'll learn how to make the distinction soon enough."
Kate returned the smile hesitantly, "You really think so? How long did it take you?"
Suddenly uncomfortable, Nav retracted her hand and squirmed in her chair, "Um…I don't remember." But they both knew she did, knew that it hadn't taken her any time at all – it was her natural instinct to be friendly to everyone. "Look, everyone's different, so you have to work at the friend side, I have to work on the officer side."
This time Kate's smile was wider, her eyes brighter. "Thanks Nikki." She lay back on her rack, on top of the covers.
"No problem. And for the record, you're doing well on the friend side, at least as far as I'm concerned."
They both remained in silence for a while, contemplating the things that had just been brought up. Kate envisioned ways to be more friendly with the crew, thought about how Nav was equally comfortable on the bridge surrounded by sailors as she was in the pub surrounded by those same sailors – but as friends, and hoped she would someday be able to pull it off. Nav thought about the courage Kate had mentioned, how pulling off daring action-hero type stuff didn't necessarily make the XO courageous, that it was more about picking your battles than fighting every time – Nav didn't know how or when she'd developed this wisdom, hadn't even known she'd possessed it until the evidence was laid out in front of her.
"You really are courageous, you know that." Kate's voice broke the silence, and brought Nav out of her thoughts. "When we were taken hostage, you pretended to steer the ship to Papua New Guinea when you knew full well we were heading in the opposite direction. The guy had a gun on you, and you were totally calm, anyone would have thought it was a daily occurrence."
Nav shivered – the thought of that guy's hands twisting her neck still gave her goosebumps. Kate noticed the slight movement and nodded knowingly, "Calm on the outside, terrified on the inside, huh?"
"Exactly. Experienced something like it yourself?"
Kate grinned coyly, "Possibly."
Sensing the end of that particular topic, Nav looked away for a moment, trying to decide whether or not to ask her next question. Finally she decided on a way to bring up the topic slightly more discretely. "It's great to have Mike back on the ship, isn't it?"
Though she didn't seem to realise it, Kate's face flushed crimson at the mention of Mike's name. "Yeah it is."
"So you picked him up from the hospital?" She raised her eyebrows at the X knowingly.
"Did it ever occur to you that maybe this is none of your business?" Kate replied instantly, blushing deeper.
"Oh, that's beside the point." Nav waved away the implication. "You know I'd never say anything, just as you don't say anything about me."
It was inevitable that two officers sharing a room would get to know one another rather intimately – Kate had a tendency to talk in her sleep, thus Nav soon became privy to her previous relationship with Mike. After Kate proved her friendship to Nav by keeping her relationship with ET a secret, Nav finally felt comfortable asking an awake Kate. With some pressing the blonde had spilled the beans, and Nav had watched their interactions with fascination ever since. She saw how Mike looked at Kate and Jim, saw Jim watch as Kate fussed over the injured Mike, and she thanked God that the only real competition she had for ET's affections were her own trust issues.
"Is it crazy that I missed him so much? We were at sea for less than two days, and I saw him less than an hour before we left."
"Not crazy. You're used to seeing him 18 hours a day, it would take some adjusting to be away for an extended period of time." The tone of Nav's voice suggested she wasn't just talking about Kate and Mike.
"What's up Nik?" It was only recently that Kate had begun to address Nav by her given name whilst on the ship, and her nickname had only been used within the past week. Nav was enjoying the closeness; she had never had a best girlfriend, the combination of her sports obsession and elder brothers meant she never had the patience for girls who only ever talked about boys, makeup and celebrities.
Nav looked away, sighing heavily. "I'm thinking about transferring off the Hammersley."
Whatever explanation Kate had been expecting, it wasn't this. She sat up so quickly she knocked her head on the underside of Nav's rack. "Ow!"
"Ohmygod are you OK?" Nav moved forward on the chair and leaned in to get a look at Kate's head. But she underestimated her position on the chair and leaned over too far, causing her to fall to the floor with a crash.
A knock was heard on the door, and Buffer opened it to find Nav on the floor holding her back and Kate on her rack rubbing her head.
"You guys OK?" He asked, concern obvious on his face.
The two women looked at one another and burst out laughing. Buffer huffed, causing Kate and Nav to look at him, and his face caused another burst of mirth. Kate was laughing so hard she fell off the bunk and lay on the floor next to Nav.
"Women." Buffer muttered under his breath, but loud enough for Kate and Nav to hear, and such a typical male response caused further laughter, both women now rolling in hysterics. He rolled his eyes and shut the door as he left, shaking his head at Charge and Swain in the corridor.
Finally Nav and Kate regained their composure, and sat on the floor leaning against Kate's rack. Nav leaned her head on Kate's shoulder, relishing the rare moment of true mirth.
"You're a good friend, Nikki." Kate said, patting Nav's knee.
Nav smiled, "I'm glad you came on board the ship, Kate. I can honestly say I've never had a friend like you."
"Me neither, Nikki. Me neither."
THE END