Does anybody ever wonder how the Cullens reacted to Alice's vision of Bella's 'death'?
Just a little one-shot that took an icepick to the inside of my skull until it fought it's way out.
I called Edward's phone for what must have been the thousandth time.
I knew he'd give me barely three seconds, so I spoke as soon as I heard the ringing cut off abruptly. "I-really-want-you-to-reconsider-what-you're-doing-Edward-neither-of-you-are-happy-and-it's-only-hurting-everybo-"
Dial tone.
I sagged in defeat.
"Do you want to go for a run?" Jasper asked tenderly, using my head as an elbow rest to muss my hair in a way he knew I found equally infuriating and sweet.
I sighed. "I suppose." I pouted. Maybe a run with Jazz would give me a few minutes of mindlessness.
"Okay." He bent to kiss the top of my head. "Anyone else?"
Rose shrugged, not seeming bothered by my phone call or my poor mood.
"Nah." Emmett said, his eyes flicking to Rosalie.
Esme and Carlisle were engaged in a game of chess. "No, but thank you, darling." She smiled at Jasper gently.
"Maybe I should change?" Jasper joked with me, gesturing at his silk cashmere cardigan, one of the only pieces of clothing I'd ever let him wear more than once, because it looked so irresistible on him.
I grinned up at him, stroking the deep cerulean ribbing across his right bicep. "Yes please." I said sweetly.
As he lifted me easily in what was to become a kiss, my eyesight suddenly hazed over.
Chestnut hair in a pale, heart-shaped face.
Bella! I thought, struck with an immediate jolt of both happiness and despair.
I hadn't seen her for a month, at least. I'd kept my promise to Edward and had refrained from deliberately looking for her future.
But just because I didn't look, didn't mean I didn't see.
Happiness trickled away as the vision solidified, and dread settled in my empty stomach.
Bella stood at the edge of a high, high cliff, wind and rain whipping her hair about her pale face. Her shirt and jeans hung loosely on her skinny frame.
She looked awful.
She stuck one foot out, tentatively, the toe of her sneaker dislodging rocks, which tumbled over the cliff into the churning black water below.
She stepped up to the edge fully, closing her eyes.
She smiled.
It was the worst smile I'd ever seen in my entire existence. The most pained, most desperate, least genuinely happy smile I'd ever, ever seen.
Her lips twisted up into a grimace, trembling in the cold.
I watched in horror, drinking in every second of this awful vision. She was so close to the edge! She was so clumsy! Didn't she know she could fa-
She rose onto the balls of her feet, spreading her arms wide.
"No!" I heard myself gasp.
Jasper's hands, which had been gentle, were now keeping me from slumping to the ground.
She leaned forward, bending her knees.
Bella flung herself into the air.
"Nooo!" I wailed aloud.
I could dimly hear my family demanding answers of me, but for once, my entire mind was focused on one thing. I couldn't comprehend their words.
Her mouth opened in a scream as she fell through the air like the stones she'd kicked, twisted and tumbled in the wind, falling gracelessly through torrents of rain.
Seconds passed, literal seconds.
She sliced into the black water.
"Please." I heard myself beg aloud. "Come up. Please please please come up please Bella please come up come up come up!"
She didn't.
The black water churned around her, waves crashing over the place she'd disappeared...
She didn't come up.
"No." I choked. "No no no no no no no no no..."
I surfaced from the vision and found my family, sans Edward, crouched around me as I laid flat on the floor.
"No." I gasped. I clenched my eyes shut again, endeavoring for the first time in months to break my promise.
I pictured Bella's face, Bella's hair, the precise color of her chocolate eyes, willing myself to see something. Anything.
"Please." I whispered. "Oh please."
Black.
All I could see was black.
I curled up into a ball, my body racking with tearless sobs. "No no no no no no no-"
We killed her we killed her she's gone she's gone she's gone I killed her I let him she's gone we left she's gone she jumped she's gone she's gone she's gone-
I felt Jasper shaking me, his faced panicked. "Alice, TELL ME WHAT YOU SAW!" He demanded.
"Bella." I wailed. "Bella Bella Bella Bella-" I sobbed her name on repeat.
Oh please, let it be a mistake, please please, let it be wrong!
He clapped his massive hands over my temples and pushed enough tranquility into me to send a human girl of my size into a coma.
I felt my dry sobs choke off. "She's gone." My voice had no tone. It was flat. Flat and grey, like the color of the sky over the cliffs of what could only have been La Push, First Beach...
"Gone?" Carlisle asked softly as Jasper concentrated on keeping my emotions in check. "Bella? What's going to happen to Bella, Alice?"
"She jumped." I stared up at the ceiling, past Jasper's blonde hair, watching particles of dust swirl in the air. "She jumped off the cliff and she didn't come up."
Esme let out a ragged gasp. "What?"
"Cliff. She was on the cliff. Jumped off. Storm. Jumped. Never came up. All black. Everything is black. No future. She has no future. She's-" My voice broke, like the abrupt damping of a chord.
Esme choked on unnecessary breath. "Could you-We could find her." She gasped wildly. "Carlisle, we could find her, surely there's time, like you did with me, to save-!"
"It's too late." I swayed. "She has no future. She's already dead."
Emmett punched a hole through the wall. "Goddamnit!"
Esme hid her face in Carlisle's chest. "Oh, oh no... No no, why would she-?"
"You can't think of a reason?" Rosalie injected coldly.
Esme spun, horrified.
Carlisle gripped at his hair. "Lord have mercy upon us..."
I stood quickly. "I have to go."
"Go where?" Esme asked quickly, flitting to my side to grasp my hands. "Oh, don't leave, where are you going?"
"I have to go back to Forks. I have to-Her father-I have to see if there's anything..." My mouth went dry, the venom pooling behind my eyes instead, a physiological response I'd learned to associate with a human need to cry. "I have to see if there's anything I can do."
Esme buried her face in her hands. "Oh-Oh Bella." She moaned, agonized.
Carlisle had turned to face his father's crucifix, and was reciting prayers in a low murmur.
"Do you think that's wise?" Jasper interjected softly.
"...Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners, now and at the hour of our death..."
"Jasper, he's all alone in the world." My mouth was painfully dry, my tongue making a clicking nose against my teeth in the lack of lubricating venom. "I have to-At least to be there at the fu-funer-" I couldn't finish the sentence.
"...and forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespassed against us..."
"Do you want me to go with you?" Jasper offered.
"...Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me, a sinner..."
"No. No I-I think it would be better if it were just me."
"...by the blood shed in your Passion I beg for forgiveness..."
"I'm-I'm going to go now."
"...Count not my transgressions, but rather my tears of repentance..."
Jasper nodded silently.
I collected what little I needed to take in less than ten seconds, and then stole Carlisle's keys from his pocket as he knelt on on the floor, shaving off what little of my commute time I could by avoiding running out to the garage. He did not notice, his eyes screwed tightly shut and his hands clasped before his face in anguished sorrow.
I stole to the door in a flash, but paused. I pleaded with the only family I had ever known:
"Don't tell Edward."
I closed the door behind me, but it did not muffle the sound of Carlisle's last plea.
"O my Jesus, forgive and forget what I have been."