The Big Bang Theory: The Global Warming aftermath.
A regular Saturday night, everyone is having wonderful Thai food for dinner at 2311 Les Robles Apt 4A. Amy sits at the couch. Sheldon sits at his spot having tangerine chicken. Bernadette sitting on the couch with Sheldon on her left and Howard on her right. Raj sits on the floor next to Howard, and Penny and Leonard eats dinner at the counter.
"Why do you guys always eat Thai food?" asks Penny.
"Penny, we do not always eat Thai food." Replies Sheldon.
"We have pizza during pizza night Thursdays, so therefore we do not Always eat thai food."
Putting emphasis on the word Always.
"In addition, I eat cereal every Saturday morning at 6:30" he added.
"I told you saying Always makes it worse, you made Sheldon talk" says Leonard.
"You're never going to let that go, are you?" with the hint of irate in Penny's voice.
"I'm just saying",
"Anyway, as I was saying Sheldon. There are other kinds of food out there, not just Thai food."
Raj, Bernadette, Leonard and Amy had a facial expression as though they were thinking deeply. Amy thinking that maybe she can cook everyday for Sheldon. It didn't matter what he wanted to eat at any day, Amy will make it for the purpose of having Sheldon by his side. Leonard asks himself "we Did have Thai food for lunch today, why are we having thai food again?". Bernadette is thinking that if its possible to trade their thai food with the soup she serves to poor people. The poor will have thai food and the guys will have soup. "At least its different than thai food.". Raj just remembered that he forgot to record Bridget Jones Diaries on his DVR. "Crap, I forgot to record Bridget Jones." Initially looking like he lost a lot of money in vegas. Then quickly turns into joy "Oh, I know… Miss Congeniality is on later. My girl Sandy B saves the day."
Howard: "Speaking of Asian food, I heard on the news that the foods in Thailand have been tasting badly coz the smog from china had gotten so bad that it started occupying the air in the surrounding countries and a bunch of it moved towards Thailand"."Isn't it ironic that the thai food here in the US is now possibly better than the food where it originally came from?"
Sheldon: "Interesting, You know thai food began here in the US when…"
"No one cares Sheldon". Interrupts Penny.
"So stop talking about it".
"Very well" says Sheldon and then walks away and head behind the couch towards the shelf.
"e. a. well… FYI Penny, since you don't care about what I have to say. I'd have you know that you are an accomplice to the Global warming that is happening right now."
"HEY! How am I contributing to global warming?",
"I'm starting to see Hydrocarbons and nitrogen oxides under sunlight coming out of the exhaust pipe of your vehicle". Leonard whispers to Penny, "Smog".
"I have told you time and time again to have your engine checked. And now, thanks to you and all your accomplices around the world, people have discovered that the polar caps are melting at a rapidly accelerating rate."
"Who are these people?" asks Leonard.
"I heard the people in the geology department above my office talking about it. I confirmed it on Google so I have prepared for it".
He then pulls out a box at the bottom level of the shelf near the window. The box was about 5ft long, 2ft high and 3ft deep. One side of the box is shaped to look like the front of a small boat.
"What do you have there, Captain Hook?" asks Penny.
"This is a box I had built. It is made of a material that I have invented". "The material has a buoyancy triple to what you'd expect and is as close to being as strong as wolverines adamantium, but as light as a feather".
Bernadette adds in amazement "Wow Sheldon". "What are you going to do with it?".
Amy: "Sheldon, can you make another one where you and I can lay side by side each other like a couple of Vampires drifting away through the great tide that sank Atlantis. It'll be so romantic."
Sheldon: "In the event that The Great Tide(saying it with a hint of sarcasm) happens, this box will be floating through the flood and will provide me with the essential needs to survive".
Raj reaches towards Howards ear and whispers something. "How are you going to get it if it's going to be floating in random directions?" asks Howard. "That's a good question, I have attached 2 propellers on the 2 corners of one end and made the other end look like a boat. I also created this remote control to turn it on when needed and I programmed the propellers to align its direction via GPS towards this remote control." Bernadette asks "What have you put in there?". "I have put my light saber to fight off enemies or predators, the sword of Excalibur to claim the land that we drift onto, and we will use this sword to defend against the Saxons. I've also put a few clothes AND… Dungeons and Dragons game".
"Dungeons and dragons? How will that help you survive?" asks Amy.
Penny adds "Yeah Sheldon, how is a board game going to be useful in your spaceship?",
"Spaceship?",
"Well yea, your box thingy looks like something that came from space, and one side looks like a ship. So tada.. Space_Ship". "Wow, I think I gotten smarter ever since I hung out with you people."
"The Dungeons and Dragons board game is to strategically plan our invasion of the island. It is to assign key positions and timing to create a fool proof strategy".
Leonard asks "You mean Penny doing all the work and all of us worshiping her when she achieves victory?"
"Yes" "Which reminds me, all the battle in an unknown land may give us a lot of injuries. Leonard, Do you think you can get back together with Dr. Stephanie Barnett?".
"What!?", replies Leonard while he exhales.
"We need a McCoy for our enterprise".
"I can't do that Sheldon, I'm with Penny."
"oh c'mon… a lot of people do it, why can't you?".
Howard stands up to say good bye to everyone. "Well I think Bernadette and I will be going now. We're going to have to inflate my mother more to use as a floatation device."
"So what are you going to do with food, Sheldon?"Asks penny, "huh,…. I haven't thought of that. I suppose there would be some animals to capture or fruits to pick. So if you'll excuse me, I'm going to log on to google to learn how to make a bow and arrow".
Hours later…
Bernadette sits on the side of the bed facing towards the closet, while howard goes through some things in the closet.
"Howard, do you think we need to prepare like Sheldon?",
"I suppose so. We wouldn't want Sheldon all up in our ears if this goes down".
"Where are we going to put our things? Oh, I know, how about that chest full of your kiddy stuff."
"Kiddy stuff? I told you they're magic tricks."
"We can use that chest to put our stuff in there."
"Fine, but I would need some help to get this chest out of the closet."
"Are you going to ask Sheldon, Leonard and raj to help you?"
"No, we're going to need more than that. Hey, can you call Penny?"
Meanwhile….
Sheldon approaches Penny's apartment while looking at the paper he is holding in his left hand.
Knock. Knock. Knock "Penny"
Knock. Knock. Knock "Penny"
But before Sheldon could attempt the third time, Penny opens the door and Sheldon accidentally knocks on Penny's head.
Knock. Knock. Knock
"Hey" screams Penny
….
Sheldon whispers in embarrassment "Penny".
She starts to look at Sheldon with grinning eyes, a few seconds later she puts on a sarcastic face and replies "What do you want Sheldon?".
"I was eventually going to ask you how hard your head is, but recent events render that question moot". "Moot? Is that the physicist you guys met in San Francisco? Wow he really must be famous to have his last name become an actual word."
"No Penny, and his last name is Smoot not Moot". "Anyway I came here to ask you a few questions."
"I like saying his last name…. Smoot. It's like smooching then smiling afterwards."
"If you're done having fun saying SMOOT, I'd like to come back to my topic. I really don't like wasting time, and we've already wasted 35 seconds here."
"Alright right Sheldon what are you going to ask me?"
"May I come in?"
"No." Sheldon walks into the room regardless of what penny had said.
"I'm sorry. That was a rhetorical question. The List I have is far more important than whether I should come in or not."
Sheldon takes a seat while Penny goes over to the counter to get Sheldon something to drink.
"Fine, have a seat Sheldon. Would you like anything to drink?"
"I'm in distress right now, so a hot beverage please."
Penny prepares a hot beverage walks over to Sheldon and hands him the drink. But as soon as she sat beside Sheldon her phone starts ringing. Ring….Ring…Ring…
"Hang on Sheldon",
"Hang on to what?" replies Sheldon in his normal voice tone.
"Hello?" says Penny.
The voice over the phone starts talking.
"Hello. I am with the department of water and power, we would like to ask you if your water is running at this moment".
"Hang on."
"There you go again. Hang on to what?"
Penny stands up and heads to her faucet.
"Hello?" says penny.
"Yes?" replies the voice over the phone.
"Yea, my water is running. Why do you ask?"
The voice over the phone replies in an urgent tone of voice. "Really!? Quick run after it! Run after it!". Penny was shocked by what the voice over the phone said and quickly puts down the phone.
"Ok, now back to what I was saying". A few seconds later the phone rang again. Ring…Ring…Ring… Penny picks up the phone again.
"Hello?" says Penny.
"Hello. Can I speak to an angel please?" Penny suspected that the voice over the phone was the same voice that called earlier about the water.
"Sheldon it's for you."
"Oh?" He then pulls out a sanitizing napkin from his pocket before he puts the phone on his ear, "Hello?"
"Are you an Angel?"
"No"
"Then what are you, the devil?". Sheldon pauses for a moment seeming confused as to what just happened. He opens his mouth and attempts to say something, but this is one of the human experiences that eludes him so he closes back his mouth and stays silent for a few seconds. Penny was in slight amusement to what had happened to Sheldon. The phone rings a third time. Ring…Ring…Ring… Penny picks up the phone rapidly and instead of saying hello and wait for the voice over the phone to talk, she immediately says
"Hey you! Stop calling here with all your nonsense, its not funny. Plus I know people who can do crazy stuff, so stop calling or else!"
"Hello Penny, it's Bernadette"
"Oopsie, Hello Bernie. What's up?"
"Hey Penny. Can you come over for a bit? We need your help to move a chest from the closet."
"Your trophy husband can't use his brains to move the chest?"
"If he can move things with the power of his mind, he would be considered as an Alpha Male. But his muscles are as soft as a kitten."
"You're going to have to wait for an hour because I'm stuck here with the Riddler. He has this list of questions he has to ask me and if I take him with me, I would have to deal with him in my car. So can you wait for like an hour?"
"Sure."
Bernadette puts down the phone and says to Howard
"She says she'll be here in an hour."
"Well… I can think of one thing to do in an hour?"
"I don't think it takes that long?"
"We'll just have to find out".
Meanwhile back at Pennys apartment,
"So what are you going to ask me Sheldon?"
"Ok, Let's begin."
"First Question, What parts of your body are big?" Penny being shocked and a little bit disgusted with what Sheldon had asked. But she knew that the nature of the question was based on innocent ideas. "What!?" replies Penny.
"Well I am starting to put together strategies for different scenarios we may encounter with our landing party. And based on experience with bullies, the bigger the body part the stronger they are."
"Oh. I used to do some push-ups at the gym, and I jog, so I would say arms and legs." Sheldon speaks while he writes down the answers.
"Ok, so Triceps, Buttocks and chest."
"What do you mean buttocks and chest!?"
"Well when you do some push-ups, your triceps and the muscles in the chest area gets bigger. And with jogging, every time you take a step forward, you make a force on that front foot from the front to the back. Thus the muscles in the buttocks gets worked out."
"Can you at least change it to arms and legs."
"Fine." "Second question, when is your menstral cycle?"
"What!? How is this useful with your landing party?"
"Emotions can hinder and decide the outcome of any battle, so I will need to prepare for that handicap." "Next question Sheldon!"
"Ok, Question three. Your educational background is community college, so what other skills do you have?"
"umm…. I know a lot of stuff."
"hmm. I expected an insufficient answer." Sheldon then pulls out another paper underneath the paper he was holding. "I have listed more specific questions so you can just answer with yes or no." "lets proceed. Do you have superspeed?"
"No."
"Do you own a green ring where you can manifest anything that you can think of with the power of your mind?"
"No."
"Can you leap tall buildings in a single bound?"
"No"
"Do you have special gadgets and a utility belt to hold these gadgets?"
"No"
"Do you have any mutated super powers?"
"No"
"Can you climb walls and ceilings and spit out webs from your wrist?"
"No". The questions lasted about 45 minutes. After all the questions Sheldon went back to his apartment and Penny heads over to Howards to help with the chest.
At Rajesh's place, Raj dances around the room while singing along to the music that is playing on his stereo.
"Mmmbop, ba duba dop Ba du bop, Ba du dop Ba du bop, Ba du dop Ba Du yeah."
The phone starts ringing. Ring… Ring… Ring… He reaches for the remote and turns off the music. Curious, he picked up the phone
"Hello", It was Howard.
"Hey Raj it's Howard."
"Oh hello Howard, what's up?"
"Me and Bernie were thinking of actually doing the same thing Sheldon is doing."
"You mean being a total nut bag?"
"No. We're actually going to pack some stuff we would need if this whole thing blows over. We found a chest here where we will put all those things. We suggest you do the same thing."
"Dude, that chest weighs a ton, how is it going to float let alone you bringing it out of the closet?"
"Come on Raj, I got muscles I can use. I used to have a lot of girls feeling them."
"Yea, used to. Plus those girls were your mothers friends, and your muscles resembles that of a 4 year old." For a short time, Howard had a blank face because he knew it was true, but doesn't have any come back.
"I'm going to get those yellow floaters like the ones they used in the movie Jaws." In delight of the idea, Raj replies with excitement
"That's a great idea, I'm going to do that too." "But how are you going to get that chest out of the closet? Do you need my help?"
"No, I don't need your help, I already called Penny"
"Ok then, I'm going to start packing too."
Back at Sheldon and Leonards place….
Someone knocks at the door. Leonard opens the door.
"Hello Leonard" says Amy.
"Hello Amy, nice to see you here. What's with the luggage?"
Sheldon speaks from across the room "We already had this conversation Amy, you can't live here"
"I'm not moving in. Yet. Per our relationship agreement Sheldon, it states that in the event of doomsday or any worldwide calamity both persons in the relationship are entitled to share half space provided by the container and all containers used for this purpose to store any valuable need that may be used to survive in the aftermath."
"Wow Sheldon, that so nice of you" says Leonard.
"Well it was intended so I share space of what container she will produce, but recently I invented this material so I thought I would make my own when she comes up with her own container. But, sadly she was too busy thinking of how brilliant I am. My brilliance is its own enemy."
Penny Barges in the apartment in urgency. "Hey guys! Guess what I found out!" yells Penny. Sheldon quickly interrupts and says "You found out they discovered a way to fuse human bones with adamantium!?"
"No."
"They created the chemical compound which if struck by lightning would give that person super speed?" "Also no."
"aaww" replies Sheldon in disappointment.
"What is it bestie?"
"Well, I found out Sheldon was right!"
"Of course I'm right! What am I right about?" says Sheldon.
"About the Ice in the north and south poles. They're starting to melt."
Leonard asks Penny "Where did you hear this from?"
"Well I was out with my friends and she said that her cousins friends sister is a news reporter. And that she was assigned to look into this matter. She talked to some scientist that was working with it and they said that there's only about a week or maybe even less than that. So I need you guys to help me pack" "I'll help you pack bestie" She quickly stood up and heads towards Penny's apartment.
"Really?" asks Leonard. "I'd love to help but I think I should start packing too. But as soon as I finish packing I will head on out there even before you reach your front door. If you need anything that you can't handle just call my name and I'll be there."
Amy stops turns and tells Leonard "Oh please Leonard, I'm more than enough in brain power to solve anything. And Penny has more muscle power than you. So I think we're good"
"It's ok Amy, he has to start packing too." Penny and Amy then heads out the door and into the next room to start packing some of Penny's things.
"Sheldon" says Leonard. "Do you think you can make one of those boxes that you made for me?" "Of course I can." Replies Sheldon in delight. "That's what friends do. Also, per our roommate agreement, the roommate who creates a device that will be beneficial in the time of or after a catastrophe is obligated to create a duplicate device for the other roommate. Since you were working with putting things together, I assumed that you would be able to at least put something together." "Yey, lucky me." Leonard replies reluctantly. "That's probably the first time I'm going to thank the roommate agreement."
Knowing that most of them live in apartment buildings and Howard is the only one with a front porch and a back yard, everyone goes to Howards place bringing their boxes after they have finished packing.
"What are you guys doing here?" asks Raj.
"I plan to keep this in Howards back yard when all this blows over so we can focus on surviving" says Sheldon,
"What he said." Leonard adds.
"Oh ok." Since Raj was closest to the door, he rang the doorbell.
Ding dong…..
"Howard answer the door!" with the usual yelling of Mrs. Wolowitz.
"What do you think I'm doing!?"
"How should I know? I'm in the toilet" "So who is it!?" Mrs Wolowitz quickly adds.
"You have to let me answer the door first!"
"Well hurry it up!" He opens the door and sees everyone outside his door.
"The whole gang is here!"
"You mean all the Doctors!?"
"Yes everyones a doctor but me. When are you going to stop talking about how everyone is a doctor, you're putting me in humiliation!?"
"What are they all doing here!?"
"You gotta let me ask them first"
"So what's up guys?" asks Howard to everyone.
Raj asks Howard "Can we put our containers in your backyard?"
"Yea, since you're the only one of us that as a back yard, it wouldn't be trapped in the apartment"
"Sure, just set it down beside mine in the back yard." "Hey Ma! We're going to hang out in the back yard is that ok with you!?"
"That's fine, just clean after yourselves after you play." Everyone starts to go to the back yard carrying their containers.
Leonard wondered how Howard got the chest down from his closet "Wow Howard, how did you get this heavy chest here from your room?"
"I've been working out." Replies Howard.
Penny:"He called me to get that down. He got a splinter opening the door for me. Good thing Bernadette is a microbiologist so she's used to dealing with tiny things. He sat down the whole time."
"It was really painful. I thought I was going to pass out from the pain." "Anyway, I'm glad you guys came over here, we had an idea for when this thing happens"
Sheldon interrupts "Excuse me Howard." "As the leader of this group, I came up with a plan that can benefit us all. We would all contribute to buy a boat and set it right here"
"Sheldon", Howard interrupts "Bernadettes father bought a boat for taking vacations about 2 weeks ago and he is already on his way to bring it here, and he wants us to have it as a wedding gift. All of us can fit in it."
Leonard asks "What are they going to do?"
"My uncle got them some space in a huge cruise ship. So they'll stay there."
Penny asks "How about your mother Howard?"
"One of the people in her book club owns a yacht and invited everyone in the club to join." "There's more." "Me and Raj, went to his lab and we calculated how much time we have. And the results show it will be tomorrow morning." "So everyone is going to have to be here tomorrow, because it would take about several hours for all that water to get here in Pasadena."
"What!?" everyone yells out.
"OH dear, Oh dear." Cries Sheldon. "Leonard. We need to get back now. I need to pack my comic book collection, all my work, and all the plans that I've written for us to survive."
Leonard looks at everyone "Well guys, I'm going to go home now, I don't want tarzan here to go ape on me." "alright guys, see you tomorrow." Everyone heads home feeling scared and confused as to what they should do and which tops the priority list.
Leonard and Sheldon arrives home. "Oh God. Oh God. Oh God." Cries Sheldon while hastily walking up the stairs to the fourth floor and into their apartment. He continues to hastily walk towards his bedroom crying out "Oh God. My comic books." until he gets there. He gets in his room and he remembers his documents and computer which contains all his hard work, his research, his theories and everything that has to do with his career as a Theoretical Physicist. He stops and quickly turns around and hastily walks towards his desk. "Oh God, My work." Repeating the line until he got to his desk. He then stops again and thinks about the food. He puts down the pile of paper in his hand and then heads towards the kitchen "Oh God. My oatmeal cereal. My low sodium soy sauce." He continues walking hastily throughout the whole room while Leonard goes in his room, goes through his closet and starts picking out his clothes to take.
The next day, everyone arrives at Howards house with some more luggage's. They load all of their luggage on the boat and then made themselves comfortable. Penny starts to realize that the world is coming to an end and gets a blank look on her face "I can't believe this is really happening." "Don't worry bestie, I'll be here by your side" "yey" Howard talks to the group "Ok guys, according to the satellite feed, San Francisco just got hit by the wave, and it will reach here in less than an hour so prepare yourselves".
The flood brought about a huge wave that engulfed major cities in a matter of minutes. It made its way from the northern part of America covering every northern state simultaneously. It went through freeways and valleys like water through a gutter. 25 minutes later, Pasadena got hit by the roaring flood. The boat they were on was anchored to the ground until 30ft and avoided being washed through the city uncontrollably. Bernadette started the engine because she was the only one with experience with a boat among all of them. The water level rose higher and higher and their anchor started to pull them down, so they had to cut the line. Sheldon never went on a boat ride before so he didn't know how rocky the boat would be and put his notebooks and all his documents on the seat at the back of the boat. When the line was cut, the boat rocked so strong that all of Sheldons plans and documents had fallen off the boat. "NOOO!" Sheldon screams to the top of his lungs in shock, while everyone yelled "YEEAAAYY". The flow of water was so strong that Bernadette, Howard and Leonard had to hold the steering wheel so they don't crash into anything. A few hours later, the Flash flood stopped and the water calmed down. Everyone stood up and took a good look around. There was only water in all directions they look. All was in complete silence due to the disbelief of the event. Raj looks up at the sky. There were huge clouds in the distance and had heavy rain, thunder storms and lightning and it was heading their way. Raj goes to howard and whispers in his ear. "Look, the storm is so strong and is heading our way" "Really Raj!? Even in the situation we are in you still have to whisper in my ear?" "Everybody hang tight" yells Howard. The storm hit their boat dead on and they found themselves engulfed in heavy wind and rain.
The next morning, everyone woke up in the boat. The boat wasn't moving anymore so they had to check out what has happened.
Leonard in pain was the first to wake up "Aahhh. My head hurts" "Is everyone alright?"
Raj leans over to Sheldons ear. "Raj says he's fine" says Sheldon. "But I'm not, I have Indian saliva in my ear."
"Penny where are you?"
"Here. Can you get Bernadette off my back"
"Oh sorry penny." Says Bernadette
"Amy are you alright?" asks Penny.
"Yeah I'm alright"
Bernadette looks for Howard "Howie you ok?"
"No, I'm hurt."
"Really? Where?"
"I have a string burn on my left hand"
"Let me see."
"here"
"Oh Howard get a grip, its only a bruise no more than an inch long."
"yea but it still hurts".
Everyone steps out of the boat to see where they are. Leonard opens the door and was ambushed by the light of the bright sun. He covers his eyes for a moment to adjust to the sunlight, and then slowly walks out followed by everyone else. The boat was tilted at an angle so they had to hold on to the rail to keep their balance. Sheldon was the last to come out of the boat following Raj. With Sheldon having no grip strength, he couldn't hold the rail so he falls over raj and both fell to the sand. Raj hit the ground with his back and having Sheldon fall front first and lands on his crotch. It was an awkward position and they both hastily and aggressively pushed away from each other.
"Where are we?" Asks Howard.
Leonard replies "I don't know" Sheldon pulls out the remote control for the box that he made.
"Ok. Let's see if this works." He presses a button and there was a beep.
"Ah. My invention works. It seems that my box is about a mile away in that direction and will arrive here in 45 minutes."
"Wow Sheldon, that thing really works?" Asks penny.
"Of course it does, when have I built something that doesn't work?"
"And it begins" whispers penny to herself.
Howard looks up in the sky "It's a good thing that the satellites are still working" he adds.
Bernadette asks "Howard, how about our chest? How are we going to get ours if it is out there in the water?"
"Don't worry Bernie. After everyone left their boxes at my place, I attached every single one to Sheldons box with space grade aluminum alloy chain that I borrowed from one of my friends that works at NASA. So if you see Sheldons box, you'll see all of ours as well."
"What do we do until they get here."
"I think we should change clothes."
During the rough rapids everyones clothes were torn and shredded and would be unsuitable to use. Raj, had already changed into a blue collared shirt, khakis and a black belt.
Howard asks in sarcasm.
"Hey raj, are you going to sell us kitchen knives? You look like one of those guys that knocks on your door and sells kitchen knives, and sometimes encyclopedias. Sometimes I ask them if they sell pizza as well."
Sheldon heads to the boat for his turn to change. He comes out wearing a red Flash tshirt, white pants and a fishermans hat.
"Howard, I took this hat from the room because I don't want to have sunburn on my face. This skin is weak against ultraviolet rays, and is prone to melanoma, since there are no more stores around to buy an umbrella or a hat. So my problem is partially solved at this point."
Leonard was next to change clothes in the boat. He wore a blue apple/mac tshirt, khakis and black shoes. Howard wore a full tuxedo. Complete with a coat and bow tie. Penny was curious what Howard was wearing.
"What are you wearing Howard?"
"This is what I found in my bag. I guess my mom thought we were going on a trip so she took the rest of my things out of my bag to fit this in there."
Bernadette had found a white gown-like dress, a matching hat and a small white umbrella that would fit only one person. The umbrella had a woven like cloth that would be useless in the rain, but useful to block the ray of the sun.
Amy found herself a red checkered shirt from her mother, and short jeans. Everyone was surprised because for the first time, she had worn jeans let alone short ones.
"And later on I will make you guys a coconut cream pie" says Amy.
Penny comes out of the boat wearing a white two piece bathing suit. Her body sparkled of the sweat of the heat of the sun. Everyone stared at her for a few moments except for Sheldon. Sheldon looked at everyone with curiosity, then he turns to penny to try and see what they were looking at then turns back to everyone else.
"What are you guys staring at? It's only penny in a bathing suit."
"Don't you see it Sheldon?" Asks Amy. "The bathing suit sits on her white baby skin complimenting the figure of her body. She is also glowing brightly just like an angel who came down from heaven who will save us from this horrific incident. She has everything any man would stare at. To make my point, look at the guys."
Bernadette looks and compliments Penny. "Wow Penny, you look like a movie star"
Penny strikes a pose by putting her right knee on top of her left knee and putting her hand behind her head.
"I know right."
"oh, I see the confusion" says Sheldon. "The bathing suit she is wearing is not too tight to create any indentations on the skin, and not too loose to fall off." "The glow you are referring to is the reflection of the sun on her skin. The power of the light is reflecting off her sweat and because sweat is liquid, it is acting as a prism for the light. Right now it is noon time, and the color spectrum is now at yellow, but due to the super bright light that the sun is emitting, it is too powerful for the human eye to see it as yellow so they see white instead. So her glow is nothing more than the light being reflected at the right level off of her body sweat."
"I'm going to need to wash so I'm going to the water and wash myself there".
She heads to the other side of the boat and into the water. The guys' eyes are still wide open from what they had seen and slowly follows her around the boat. They walked very slow and so close together that they were less than an inch apart. They stepped quickly inch by inch and finally reached the end of the boat. Each of them stuck their heads out to look at penny again. They see penny submerging her whole body, and then quickly standing up and whipping her hair upward.
"Is it me or is everything moving in slow motion" says Leonard.
But before they knew it, Bernadette was standing right there next to them with a straight posture and both hands on her waist.
"And just what do you guys think you're doing?"
"We were ah. Ah. A."
"We were making sure that penny is ok, yeah, that's right, we were making sure she's alright"
"She'll be fine, she can take care of herself even without the help of all of you guys. Now get back there, unload all our things and find us a place to sit."
"Yes Ma, I mean Bernie" says Howard.
They unloaded their things and sat it down underneath a tree with big rocks they can sit on. Howard walks over to a group of rocks under a tree "Hey, here's a place we can sit down." "That's my spot" Sheldon says to howard with a hint of dictatorship.
"Ok guys, we need to evaluate the situation." Leonard says to the group. "Excuse me, how come you get to decide what we should do" interrupts Sheldon. "I am the leader of this enterprise so I should give the command."
"Fine. Go ahead Sheldon"
"Ok. We need to evaluate the situation." Sheldon repeats what Leonard said.
"First of order of Business. We need to place our flag and establish a name for this place. Like Neil Armstrong when he landed on the moon back in 1969"
Penny looks at everyone "where are we?" she asks.
Everyone looks around to try and find some clue as to where they were, but all they can find was sand, water and a forest.
"Wait a minute, aren't we supposed to be at a top of the mountain? So why is there beach sand here?" "A good question Penny" says Sheldon "oowhhh." Everyone sighs.
"I'd rather have a native tribe tie us and roast us for dinner than to listen to Sheldon for the rest of our lives" answers one of the guys.
"To answer your question penny, in theory it is called Global Liquefaction which means to liquefy. Thousands of years ago these mountains were under the sea, and when the water receded, it left sedimentary layers and beach sands here on top of the mountains. So this beach sand you are referring to is before the water receded which left all those seashells in mountains."
"Great! So how is that going to help us?"
"There are a number of mountains that have these sands, and all we need to do is find something distinct that can tell us where we are."
Everyone looks around to find something but everything looks the same. Then they heard something. There was a noise behind the bushes. The noise had stuttered Howard "What was that!?" he cries. Then they heard another noise in the bushes again but this time it was louder than the one before. Howard screams at a high tone, and quickly jumps onto Bernadettes lap then he hugs her tightly around her neck and leaning his head forward to cover his face. Everyone stops and looks at Howard. He realizes that he looked like he was scared like a little girl so he makes an excuse about it.
"And this is what you should do when you get frightened, Bernie"
"mmhhhhmm." Says Bernadette.
Amy suggested to check it out "Someone should go there and go see what it is."
Penny knew they were going to ask her because she was the only one who knows what to do "ugh. Fine, I know you guys are going to send me there"
"Well you do have more experience in the wilderness than all of us combined"
"What happened to your box Sheldon? Shouldn't it be here by now? I could use that sword you packed in there."
"I'm not sure, but I do have an alternate solution. We cut all our hair and tie it on the back of a giant sea turtle like Jack Sparrow." Replies Sheldon and then asks her "Do you know how to catch a sea turtle?" "That's ok, I found a long stick here, I'll go check it out." "While I'm gone can you guys think of something we should do." Penny then heads into the wilderness to inspect what made the noise.
"We're all geniuses, and an engineer here. We should be able to come up with something." Says Sheldon.
Raj whispers into Leonards ear. "Raj says we should send out a distress signal into outer space and use the energy of the stars to amplify their power to reach distant planets."
Amy announces what she will do "I'll go make some coconut cream pie"
"I'll help you find some coconuts Amy" says Bernadette.
Sheldon looks towards the sea and sees something floating "Yes! Our boxes have arrived. I see it from a distant" screams Sheldon in excitement. The guys were excited that they start to talk plans of what to do.
"We can use the material Sheldon invented to patch up the boat"
"We'll have to dig on this side of the boat and put some logs on the side so the boat can slide off of it after we fix it."
"We'll also need to create a resin that can hold the metal on the boat, out of leaves, fruits, tree barks, possibly dead animals bones, and anything we can find in this jungle."
"It also needs to be waterproof so it doesn't wash away and leak water."
"Great!" says Raj "I'm from india so I know what a rubber tree looks like. We can get some of the latex and extract the compound that makes it water proof. I'll go find one"
Raj then heads off to find a rubber tree to extract latex. After a few minutes he comes back to the group. "What happened Raj?" asks Howard.
"I'm scared, someone go with me"
"Wait for penny, she'll be back soon."
"I guess we can start digging the canal for the boat" Everyone grabs something they can use to dig.
A few hours later, Penny came back to see Leonard, Raj and Howard digging on the side of the boat, while Sheldon sits on the side under a tree.
"Hey your hineyness, what are your hench men doing?"
"We are attempting to fix the boat and bring it to the water without using a tremendous amount of force. I am the brains of this operation and they are the laborers to do my work. The power of the mind of geniuses like me can think of anything in any situation."
"Really? Where are we going to go?"
Sheldon knew they had no place to go even if the boat had been fixed. His eyes twitches rapidly for a few seconds and he responds to penny.
"umm.. Well I guess we're done here. You can all stop now"
"Hey Raj, Help me find materials to build a crossbow that killed Sheldon Cooper" whispers Howard.
"Hey Penny, I'm glad you came back ok." Says Leonard. "What did you find?"
"Well I found a group of cows in a field past these trees"
Howard again talks to raj about the crossbow "We definitely need that crossbow or a bow and arrow to shoot the cows for us to eat and kill Sheldon Cooper." "Let's go Leonard, and professor Raj, you go start working on your device to contact E.T." Raj whispers in Leonards ear and Leonard replies "Well, use any electronic device in those boxes and work with those" Raj nods in agreement and starts working.
Amy and Bernadette came back with coconuts the same time Howard and Leonard come back with things to make a bow and arrow.
The whole time Amy, Bernadette, Leonard and Howard were away, Penny stayed with Sheldon and Raj "Where have you guys been?" Penny asks irritated. "I've been here sitting and watching raj work and Sheldon yapping and yapping. It's worse than waiting in line in a grocery store just to buy a gallon of milk." Leonard explains to Penny what a solution would be "Sorry, I forgot to pack a frizbee for him to chase" he says. Leonard created a string out of shaved strings from sticks and tied them together to make it stronger
"Ok, I'm going to start working on the bow." Says Howard.
He sits down, puts one end of the stick between his feet and grabs the other end with both his hands and attempts to bend the stick.
"uuuurrrrrrrgggh" screams Howard attempting to bend the stick but only bends a little bit. Leonard goes over to help Howard.
"UUUUrrrrrrgggggh" Screams both of them. Sheldon stands to say something
"You people need to use your muscles properly". He then goes over to help them bend the stick. "UUUUURRRRRGGGGH" cries all 3 of them.
"I love it when I see men putting their muscles to work. That's why I used to go to the gym" Penny looks at the stick from where she is sitting.
"Shouldn't a bow be bent? And not straight."
"Yes Penny. And that's what we are attempting" replies Sheldon in a grunted voice because of all the strength he is using to try and bend the stick.
A few minutes later, they bent the stick far enough for it to be a bow. "OK Howard, reach for the string and tie it up."
Howard looks at the string and carefully and prepares himself to reach the string. As soon as he releases one of his hands to reach for the string, the stick sprung out very quickly that it hit Sheldon on the forehead.
"OUCH!" He grabs his forehead for a couple of seconds and looks at his palm. He sees blood as big as a point that a ball point pen would make. "Mommy" cries Sheldon then falls down and faints. Penny looks at Sheldon curiously "Which one do you think caused him to faint? The stick hitting his head, or him seeing the blood in his hand?"
"Give me that stick. Let me show you how it's done" Penny takes the stick and finds 2 big rocks with a few feet of space apart from each other. She lays the stick with one end on one rock and the other end on the other rock.
"Come here Amy help me out."
"Sure"
Amy stands about 2ft away from penny. She puts her hand on Amy's shoulder and puts one foot on the stick. In a slow motion, she starts to put more and more weight onto the foot that the stick starts bending enough for her to tie the string around the ends. After she finished, she stands up, exhales, puts her arms half way out with her palms open and says
"And that's how it's done."
It started getting late in the afternoon where the sun is near setting.
"We should start a fire now, it's starting to get dark."
"it's a good thing I packed a lighter with me"
"Great thinking Penny" "I knew you're ready for any emergencies bestie"
"Yes, That is the reason… For emergencies, and not for anything else. Yes, emergencies." Replies penny in a suspicious tone.
Howard and Leonard starts to gather more wood to use for a bonfire, while penny starts on getting a fire going with a few sticks at hand. After they started the fire, Raj talks to Leonard.
While Howard wipes his ear after raj whispering "Really Raj? You finished your device?" Raj nods his head because he still can't talk to girls without being drunk and there were no alcohol with them.
Amy asks "Do you have a name for that?"
"He says he calls it the Rajolution" says Howard. "He says he already sent out the signal"
Bernadette asks "Really? What message did you sent out?"
"He says he sent out: Help! There's no more alcohol and mini muffins"
"Really Raj!?" says penny in disbelief. "Couldn't you at least make it sound more urgent"
"He's making it sound like college girls, surely it would make male aliens come quickly"
"You sound more like a Grandma who need something to fall asleep" replies Leonard.
"Let's all get some sleep and tomorrow we hunt cows" says Bernadette.
"OK" says every one.
Penny, puts out the fire and each of them finds a place to sleep.
With Sheldon being knocked out, Amy lays beside Sheldon and puts her arm around him. She grabs his arm and wraps it around her. "I wish we can be in this situation everyday" Amy says with high hopes. "Oh wait. We will be in this situation every day." She smiles and then goes to sleep.
Howard sleeps beside Bernadette to keep their bodies warm. Leonard and penny sleeps beside each other. Leonard has a huge grin while laying down beside Penny. "Why are you smiling?" "Well I was just thinking, we may need to repopulate mankind" "I guess, with this group of boys, you're the Big Ape"
Everyone sleeps comfortably and tightly beside one another. Raj went on to sleep in the canal they dug earlier and covered himself with the sand.
Morning came quickly through the cold and dark night. Howard prepared himself with the arrow. He covers himself with mud and leaves. He looked like a pig that rolled over mud. "Sexy" says Bernadette in sarcasm. Howard and Leonard head out with penny and Bernadette to where the cows were. They go through the bushes and past many trees and finally reach where the cows are.
"OK Howard. Let's see what you've got"
Howard takes an arrow from Leonard, and puts it on the bow. He holds the center of the bow with his left hand and pulls the string with his right hand while the end of the arrow is between the fingers of his right hand. He pulls the string along with the arrow and then releases. The arrow cuts through the air like a hot knife through butter, but then falls after 4ft away.
"Well that's a little premature" says Howard.
"You are the master" says Bernadette.
"Give me that" Leonard puts down the arrows and grabs the bow from howard. "I've been playing archery on the Wii for a long time with Sheldon, I know how to use this."
He positions himself as howard did and narrates himself while he sets to shoot the target. "ok. Gauge the distance of target. Watch the wind speed. Aaaaand Shoot"
The arrow flies through the sky because he shot it at an angle. This time it reaches the cow. The arrow hit the cow on the side but bounces off because the arrow was too soft and it wasn't sharp enough to pierce the skin of the cow. Howard sets himself again to try another shot.
Penny wanted to know their plan in shooting a cow "How are you going to get that cows dead body back and who will butcher it and cook it." Howard and Leonard pauses to think. "Anybody want to look for berries?" asks Bernadette. "Me!" replies Howard and Leonard.
They get back to where Sheldon was to find something to put the berries in. Suddenly they see a bright circle of light explode in the sky with small bits of clouds and lightning with thundering sounds. Soon after they see something shoot out from the light and fall in the distance about less than a mile away.
"Quick Sheldon, wake up" Amy shrugs Sheldon back and forth to wake him up.
"What is all the ruckus?"
"Rajs device worked, although the name needs more work but nevertheless something came falling from the sky. And everyone is going to check it out. Let's go!"
"Yipee, I do hope it's the enterprise sending a landing party to save us."
They ran and ran until they reach where that something fell. Slowly they peeked into the crater that it created. As soon as Sheldon set his eyes on what landed, he quickly stood up and inhales in excitement
"It's Spock!" Yells Sheldon as if he was the happiest person in the world.
"where am I?" asks Spock.
"You're on earth." Replies Sheldon.
"Excuse me sir, are you really spock?" Howard asks.
"Yes I am."
"based on the television show, you look like you haven't changed a bit." Says howard.
Sheldon stays silent and still in excitement and in disbelief and wears a very big smile on his face.
"Ah yes, are you talking about Gene Roddenberrys work?"
"Yes"
"Can you help me up? And I will explain what had happened."
They then helped him up towards where they set up camp. Penny anxiously asks to find out if he can help.
"Ok Mr. spook. Are you here to help us?"
"Its Spock!" replies Sheldon in anger. "In the years that you have been hanging out with us, haven't you remembered anything?"
"That's ok Sheldon." Says Spock "Let me tell you the story leading to me getting here." Everyone sits and listens. "We were working on a time machine in hopes to return extinct life forms that are very important parts of nature, like bees, whales and possibly even the inhabitants of a planet. We tested the device and ended up bringing Gene Roddenberry with us. He said he will, in some way make people believe his experience with us."
"Yes, he turned it into a famous SciFi franchise." Says Howard.
"Now you can call it Sci, since it's not fiction anymore." Says Leonard.
Spock continues "I suppose he found a way to convey his stories to people and having them accept its complex details" "So after we sent him back to his time, I left on a mission with the enterprise and found out that Gorns are becoming more intelligent and wanted to use the device to travel to the future and bring back any technology that can help them to rule all the stars and planets."
"That's terrible" says Penny.
"So we rushed back to my planet where the device was located and I rushed to disable it for them not to use it. But I was pushed into the machine and accidentally set the machine randomly and apparently it sent me here"
"So you didn't respond to any distress signal about muffins?" asks Leonard. Raj puts down his head in embarrassment.
"No" says Spock. "But I am concerned that they can follow me here because just when I was pushed, I held onto the cables for the interface so the settings cannot be changed."
Everyone stopped because they were frightened of what spock had said. Suddenly, there were multiple explosions of light in the sky, and each one of them had something that came out just like how spock appeared in the sky.
"Oh I do hope that's the crew of the enterprise." Cries spock. "No. They're Gorns. RUN!"
Everyone runs but the gorns were appearing everywhere. One Captures Spock, he was the first one to get caught, because of his injuries. Then Bernadette was next, Howard turns around to see his beloved wife get captured so he stops and goes back to attempt to rescue Bernadette. But there were so many Gorns that he too got himself captured. Leonard and Amy were the next ones to get captured. Sheldon running so fast got ahead of everyone "Who knew getting chased by bullies would be beneficial" says Sheldon while he runs. But shortly after, he too was captured followed by Raj. Penny was the only one left, her jogging gave her the advantage over the gorns, but one suddenly appeared in front of her. She stops and goes the other direction but there was already a Gorn in all directions. They slowly get closer and closer to her. She starts fighting the gorns, throwing punches and rocks that she can find. Eventually they got hold of her arm disabling her from punching and throwing rocks. They got hold of her other arm and then held her feet. She starts yelling and screaming, kicking and punching while they grab hold of her arms and legs. She starts screaming for help, her vision started to get blurry. And the next thing she knows, she wakes up screaming and realizing that all of this was a dream. "Holy Crap on a cracker!" says Penny to herself. "I need to get my engine fixed."
The End.