Friends or death

Authors note: This one shot is for Princess135656, as it says in the summary, it is a rewrite of the ending to Behind the Blue Line, thanks for thinking of a name for this Princess135656. :) Thanks to giggles811 for helping me with the quotes from the episode :) Italics, as always, are quotes

"Stop man, what are you, what are you doing? Think about this you don't need to do this." Says Sam starting to walk towards Kovacs.
"Sam stop."
"Think about what you're doing." Sam says
"I don't have the shot. Sam stay right where you are." Commands Ed
"I promise you we can get through this but.." Sam starts
"Get him to come to you." Says Ed
"This is something we can work through you just have to..you just have to trust that we can get through this ok?" Says Sam, still inching closer
"I'm a good soldier and I needed you to know that." Says Darren
"I know that, buddy you just gotta stay with me ok? Please stay with me." Sam pleads
"See you on the other side." Says Darren as he moves the gun from Spike's head to his own and shoots himself.
"Darren no. No!" Sam shouts as Darren falls to the floor. Sarge rushes forward and pulls Sam back.
"Let go! Let go of me!" Sam shouts struggling in Greg's arms until he finally breaks free and rushes towards Darren's body.
"No, no, Darren." Sam cries
"Sam there's nothing you can do, he's gone." Says Spike kneeling beside Sam and putting his hand on Sam's shoulder.

"No talking to witness officers until you've made a statement." Orders Kowalski (SIU)
"I heard you the first time. Sam!" Shouts Ed
"You heard the man. Don't talk to witness officers!" Sam says walking off
"Sam, you got to listen to me." Says Ed "Where you going, Sam?" Asks Greg "I'm going to shower and go home." Sam says holding up his bloody arms. "We're not done here." Says Ed
"Well, maybe I am."
"We got to debrief." Says Sarge
"I got nothing to say."
"That's not an option. Get in there..." Sarge shouts grabbing Sam and pushing him towards the briefing room door. "Now!"

"He wasn't going to shoot." Says Sam
"He was an immediate threat." Ed states
"It took him 30 seconds to turn the tables and we gave him the upper hand because we trusted him." Says Greg
"No. I trusted him."
"He was clearly threatening both Spike and you." Ed says
"Sam you did great you just, you lost perspective." Jules says
"You put yourself right in the line of fire." Says Wordy and everyone starts shouting.
"Don't you understand? I knew him." Sam shouts at wordy
"Ok so what do you think he wanted Sam?" asks Greg
"He wanted to save the arena." Says Sam as Winnie walks in.
"His military files." She says handing them to Jules.
"No. He needed a mission to defend the last place left where things made sense, where things were fair. He wasn't going to hurt me." Sam says stepping forward.
"We couldn't take that chance." Says Ed
"You've never taken that chance? We've seen you do it." Says Sam
"He's got a point you've done it, I've done it but the question is why did you do it? For Darren or for Ben? Maybe you wanted a second chance to save your friend." Spike says and Jules raises her hand once he has finished.
"Jules." Says Greg
"Darren applied to return to service, he wanted to go back."
"Why was he denied?" asks Ed
"Because they found him psychologically unfit."
"Darren was suffering from post-traumatic stress and he wanted to back. Sam what was the last thing he said?" Greg asks turning to Sam.
"Uh, he said, uh, 'I'm a good solider'." Says Sam, trying to remember exactly what he said.
"Roll back the tape. Right there, hit the volume. Now." Greg says to Spike who does as he's asked.
"What did he say?" asks Leah and Spike plays the video again.
"He said 'see you on the other side'. SYOTOS." States Sam.
"It's a battle cry." Says Wordy
"Yeah but not this time. He was saying goodbye to you Sam, that's why he wanted to go back, he thought he should have died with his friends the first time around." Says Greg turning back to Sam who is now flicking through the transcript.
"He was so tired." He says
"That's when he knew it was over." Jules chips in.
"Sam… his connection with you was real but he knew what he wanted." Says Greg
"There was nothing else you could have done Sam to change that." Ed says
"'It has to be you.' He wanted me to kill him."
"Come on Sam…" starts Greg
"No it's alright, I get it. Look when I left the field and I joined the SRU, I didn't want to be a point and shoot guy. I didn't want to take people out from a mile away. I wanted to save people, you know, up close and the one guy I should have been able to reach, I mean the one guy, I couldn't. I wasn't objective; I put my team at risk. I don't belong here." Sam says and sits down with his head in his hands.
"I think that's enough for tonight. Everyone go home, get some rest." Orders Greg and everyone except, him, Ed and Sam get up. Spike pats Sam on the back as he walks past.
"Come on Sam, lets get you home." Suggests Ed and Sam shakes his head and sits up.
"I can drive myself." He says
"No I'm driving you. You can pick your car up in the morning." Says Ed getting up and pulling Sam up with him.
"Ed I'm fine. Just go home like sarge said."
"No you're not." Ed says
"I'm with Eddie on this one Sam, he'll drive you home. Go. Now." Says Greg
"Fine, you know what, I don't care." Says Sam following Ed out if the room.

"It doesn't get any easier. We don't get to win every time. You got to be at peace with who you are to get through that. There's a bunch of guys I know - they're cops, they're military guys - we meet up and we talk, and we help each other keep it together. Greg and I are going Friday night. You should come." Ed suggests as they reach Sam's apartment building and Sam nods and gets out of the car now.
"You can go home now Ed, I'm home, I'm fine, I'll see you later." Sam says and starts to walk off but Ed catches up with him.
"Nope. I rang Soph and told her I was staying here tonight, I'll sleep on your sofa and then drive us both to work tomorrow." Says Ed and Sam shakes his head.
"Just go home to your family Ed. I'm fine."
"You're clearly not." Says Ed as they get into the lift and ride up to Sam's floor in silence.

After watching Sam sit in front of the tv for three hours drinking beer, Ed decides that Sam had had enough. He walks over to Sam and takes the beer bottle out of his hands.
"Drinking is not going to change anything." Ed says before Sam can say anything and walks back into the kitchen, emptying the bottle into the sink and getting a glass from the cupboard and filling it with water.
"Here." He says handing the glass to Sam. "Now go to bed and get some sleep." Sam looks up at him before reluctantly getting up and walking into the bedroom.

AN: Hope you all liked this, please review :)