I hope you enjoy the fic. Takes place during Kenshin's 'before life'. (a.k.a. the OVA's )
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Chapter 1. Longing
I sit here quietly, writing in my journal as thoughts pass by my mind.. It has been months now since I have become this 'wife' of his. My assassin of a husband seems less distant than before, and dare I say.. ...Happier. He is still such a child, and sometimes I wonder about his past; what he has gone through, and how he has become what he is today. I wish there was some kind of way I could heal his broken heart.. And yet, at the same time.. I hate him. I hate him for the death of my fiancé; and I hate myself for the coward I had become. Not that I was ever brave..
I know I am a sorry excuse for a woman, and that the spilling of the young boy's blood would make me happy. Yet.. This uncertainty.. It surrounds me.. This feeling.. It can not be love.. I will not betray Kiyosato!
His killer, my false husband, he is always so near, and yet the space between us seems so far.. If I could just repay him for what he did.. But no. Someone else would take care of that in due time.
I sighed.
Gripping my hands, tears seared down my face to fall onto my lap, making darker spots on my kimono.
..Was I really that kind of woman?
I awoke from my endless musings when I heard footsteps quietly enter our home. 'Our' home, was it.. I opened my eyes, feeling guilty and confused as my thoughts plagued me. I felt his presence behind me and kept still as he walked across the floor boards, making them squeak, softly. I then felt a warm hand place it's self upon my shoulder and I narrowed my eyes.
"Tomoe..", he spoke, his voice soft, mingled with a constant sadness and remorse, despite his youth.
I opened my eyes as they reflected the small book that sat in front of me, now closed. Slowly, I turned my head to greet him, acting as if my thoughts never existed.
"Hello", I spoke softly, shifting around upon my pillow as I rose my gaze to stare up, into his.
He placed something gently in my hair. I lifted my hand and lithe fingertips ran over something soft, and slightly damp from the rain. To my astonishment, it was a flower. A single iris that I plucked from my hair to hold between two, pale fingertips. Still surprised by such a kind gesture that was so unlike him, I stared down at the flower, and could not help but release the faintest of smiles.
"Arigatou..", I thanked him under my breath as I still held the thread of kindness that he had shown towards me.
"Irises.. They suit you", he spoke, now standing straight and looking away.
The boy then turned on his heel and lightly tapped outside near our small patch of crops and sat beside them, admiring the life that he grew, instead of destroyed.
I paused, staring at the floor boards for another moment before ascending my gaze. He was trying to make me feel bad.. Trying to win me over, more and more.. But he had not. No. Not yet.. 'Yet?', I asked myself. He can not get that far.. Not live that long. I clutched my chest.
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It was later that night and he was no where to be found. I knew he would not venture far, or at least, I hoped not.
I was again tending to my journal, that flower that he gave me, placed near my left hand, upon the small desk. My eyes wandered towards it to linger, and I asked myself; 'why do I keep admiring it so? '
It was getting late and my patience was wearing, so I simply rose from my spot and stepped towards my futon to kneel beside it, and adjust the blanket. My hand moved over the cool material, smoothing it, before crawling in. I sighed, somewhat relieved that I could sleep now.
A noise then sounded, and again, I assumed it was him. My head was clear for now, all my thoughts drained , then caught in the contents of my journal. I was in a state of peace. Such a rarity, it was. I snuggled my head affectionately against my pillow as if it were him. Which man I was thinking of, I would never reveal.
The footsteps continued, and I kept still, not caring -- only sleep was on my mind. I knew he would just rest against the wall, like usual, with his sword in hand, as if he cherished it. He probably did, I thought with a smirk.
Everything seemed like the usual, until something dropped beside me.. I kept my eyes shut, not understanding why he would dare to come so close. He did not deserve me warmth. He..
I twitched, my eyes immediately shooting open as a hand skimmed over the flesh of my neck, and down to my shoulder. What was this? What was he doing? He could not be thinking of..
"Tomoe..", he spoke in a tone that was eerily sweet as his other hand slid under my neck.
"Ken.. shin..", I asked, my breathing picking up pace.
"Tomoe.. you.. betrayed me..", his voice was lower now as I felt his breath trail over. His hands surrounded my neck now completely, and I felt his strength.. Not his full power, but something strong and needy, just the same.
Fear tore through my heart and my eyes grew wide as my breath caught in my throat. Would this be the last breath I could take?
His grip tightened, and he slipped one hand away to turn me around by the thighs to face him.
He was emotionless.
Those eyes, they stared down at me with no pity or softness at all. Not even the usual, golden glint laid in them, like when he was fighting. Simply an emotionless stare.. Almost completely black except for the small dotted glow that hit his eyes from the candlelight.
I was frozen in fear.
He leaned down, to dip his head, and touch his bottom lip to mine as his gaze lingered aimlessly across the room.
I held my breath, hands shaky, and slowly rising from their spots to silently plea with him; beg for forgiveness. Or would it be easier to die?
I wondered.
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Wanna know what happens huh? Wanna know what happens!? Well, you'll see when I make a Chapter 2. ;D ..But I would *luv* some reviews first!
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Chapter 1. Longing
I sit here quietly, writing in my journal as thoughts pass by my mind.. It has been months now since I have become this 'wife' of his. My assassin of a husband seems less distant than before, and dare I say.. ...Happier. He is still such a child, and sometimes I wonder about his past; what he has gone through, and how he has become what he is today. I wish there was some kind of way I could heal his broken heart.. And yet, at the same time.. I hate him. I hate him for the death of my fiancé; and I hate myself for the coward I had become. Not that I was ever brave..
I know I am a sorry excuse for a woman, and that the spilling of the young boy's blood would make me happy. Yet.. This uncertainty.. It surrounds me.. This feeling.. It can not be love.. I will not betray Kiyosato!
His killer, my false husband, he is always so near, and yet the space between us seems so far.. If I could just repay him for what he did.. But no. Someone else would take care of that in due time.
I sighed.
Gripping my hands, tears seared down my face to fall onto my lap, making darker spots on my kimono.
..Was I really that kind of woman?
I awoke from my endless musings when I heard footsteps quietly enter our home. 'Our' home, was it.. I opened my eyes, feeling guilty and confused as my thoughts plagued me. I felt his presence behind me and kept still as he walked across the floor boards, making them squeak, softly. I then felt a warm hand place it's self upon my shoulder and I narrowed my eyes.
"Tomoe..", he spoke, his voice soft, mingled with a constant sadness and remorse, despite his youth.
I opened my eyes as they reflected the small book that sat in front of me, now closed. Slowly, I turned my head to greet him, acting as if my thoughts never existed.
"Hello", I spoke softly, shifting around upon my pillow as I rose my gaze to stare up, into his.
He placed something gently in my hair. I lifted my hand and lithe fingertips ran over something soft, and slightly damp from the rain. To my astonishment, it was a flower. A single iris that I plucked from my hair to hold between two, pale fingertips. Still surprised by such a kind gesture that was so unlike him, I stared down at the flower, and could not help but release the faintest of smiles.
"Arigatou..", I thanked him under my breath as I still held the thread of kindness that he had shown towards me.
"Irises.. They suit you", he spoke, now standing straight and looking away.
The boy then turned on his heel and lightly tapped outside near our small patch of crops and sat beside them, admiring the life that he grew, instead of destroyed.
I paused, staring at the floor boards for another moment before ascending my gaze. He was trying to make me feel bad.. Trying to win me over, more and more.. But he had not. No. Not yet.. 'Yet?', I asked myself. He can not get that far.. Not live that long. I clutched my chest.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
It was later that night and he was no where to be found. I knew he would not venture far, or at least, I hoped not.
I was again tending to my journal, that flower that he gave me, placed near my left hand, upon the small desk. My eyes wandered towards it to linger, and I asked myself; 'why do I keep admiring it so? '
It was getting late and my patience was wearing, so I simply rose from my spot and stepped towards my futon to kneel beside it, and adjust the blanket. My hand moved over the cool material, smoothing it, before crawling in. I sighed, somewhat relieved that I could sleep now.
A noise then sounded, and again, I assumed it was him. My head was clear for now, all my thoughts drained , then caught in the contents of my journal. I was in a state of peace. Such a rarity, it was. I snuggled my head affectionately against my pillow as if it were him. Which man I was thinking of, I would never reveal.
The footsteps continued, and I kept still, not caring -- only sleep was on my mind. I knew he would just rest against the wall, like usual, with his sword in hand, as if he cherished it. He probably did, I thought with a smirk.
Everything seemed like the usual, until something dropped beside me.. I kept my eyes shut, not understanding why he would dare to come so close. He did not deserve me warmth. He..
I twitched, my eyes immediately shooting open as a hand skimmed over the flesh of my neck, and down to my shoulder. What was this? What was he doing? He could not be thinking of..
"Tomoe..", he spoke in a tone that was eerily sweet as his other hand slid under my neck.
"Ken.. shin..", I asked, my breathing picking up pace.
"Tomoe.. you.. betrayed me..", his voice was lower now as I felt his breath trail over. His hands surrounded my neck now completely, and I felt his strength.. Not his full power, but something strong and needy, just the same.
Fear tore through my heart and my eyes grew wide as my breath caught in my throat. Would this be the last breath I could take?
His grip tightened, and he slipped one hand away to turn me around by the thighs to face him.
He was emotionless.
Those eyes, they stared down at me with no pity or softness at all. Not even the usual, golden glint laid in them, like when he was fighting. Simply an emotionless stare.. Almost completely black except for the small dotted glow that hit his eyes from the candlelight.
I was frozen in fear.
He leaned down, to dip his head, and touch his bottom lip to mine as his gaze lingered aimlessly across the room.
I held my breath, hands shaky, and slowly rising from their spots to silently plea with him; beg for forgiveness. Or would it be easier to die?
I wondered.
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Wanna know what happens huh? Wanna know what happens!? Well, you'll see when I make a Chapter 2. ;D ..But I would *luv* some reviews first!