A conversation that would work for me to get CO back to where they need to be to get to the good stuff. Yes, there are other, better writers are out there, so go easy on any criticism. But I wanted to share it anyway. All characters the property of Shonda Rhimes, ABC.

The aftermath of Derek's surgery was a blur. Cristina had a brief moment with Owen before the police came to take their statements. And then it was late and all she could do was press Owen's hand and say, "we'll talk tomorrow" before going to spend the night at Meredith's, offering her friend as much comfort and support as she could in light of the heartbreak and tragedy she had suffered.

The next day, after accompanying Meredith back to Derek's side, she sought out Owen.

Owen looked up – surprised and tentatively joyful. They sat there a moment before he spoke:

Owen:

Cristina, I wanted you from the first moment I met you. No woman ever intrigued me, excited me and made me look forward to the next day as much as you. No one I ever felt as connected to. I came back to Seattle a changed man, but part of me came here for you. And then I really fell in love with you – there was no going back for me ever since that time you told me about why you became a surgeon. To my amazement you returned my feelings, and through all of the ups and downs of last year and a half, I had no doubt whatsoever that we belonged together, that you were the only future I wanted. You are the only person I have ever loved enough to spend a life with.

As long as I felt I could make you happy, had something valuable to offer you, I had no problem asking you to stay with me, to meet me halfway. To argue with you and challenge you and be a partner for you. I was starting to feel like my old self. But then the PTSD flared up again, and I scared you and I thought for the first time in over a year that maybe I wasn't good for you after all and only brought trouble. That maybe it would be better for you to be free to focus on your first love, surgery, and find someone who would be there only to cater to your every desire and ask nothing in return. And maybe Teddy was all I deserved. It wouldn't be the end of the world -she is a good person, we were friends and I know she loves me more than surgery. I could see myself through the eyes of someone who remembered that unscarred person I used to be. And she wants kids so I would have that to give someone else – I could be useful and make someone happy. I won't deny I always thought I would have kids and I know they could bring me some measure of happiness. I could have an okay life and you could go on and have everything you want and deserve. I became insecure and so I let myself envision that scenario. So I did a terrible thing and I didn't answer you when you asked who I loved. Because whatever answer I gave you, that would be it forever, no going back. In that moment I could burden you with me forever or I could separate myself from you forever. That was the only moment in my entire life I felt like a coward and it was the worst feeling I ever had.

But the truth is, I realized it doesn't matter what I think you should hear. What I owe you is the truth, so you can make up your own mind on your own terms. You have the power to decide whatever you want. And the truth is you are the love of my life. The only woman I want to spend my life with. There is no doubt. I didn't need a gunman to make me see that, but it did remind me that life is too precious to waste time with anything other than complete honesty. And if you decide you don't want this, you can tell me without guilt. You've already brought me more happiness than I could have ever imagined. I will live and find a way forward and wish you well.

Cristina was silent for a minute before a small smile played at the corner of her mouth:

You idiot. Did you think I didn't know what I was getting into with you? You say how much trouble you've been in your after, but I could tell you were plenty of trouble in your before, too. Part of the reason I fell for you in the first place. I don't want a yes man or servant, nor do I want a father figure or a protector, someone to idolize me or lecture me. I want a partner. I need a partner. You think you've only brought me problems? Well let me tell you, buster, Cristina Yang never freakin' skipped in her life before you came along. Or hit a baseball and loved it. Or allowed herself to push the limits of a relationship and know that somehow it wouldn't break. You don't realize what you've done for me. FN 1 How you've allowed me to change in ways I never thought I wanted to change. I thought I wanted surgery and nothing else (except maybe some really good sex now and then and maybe someone to cook me dinner.) I thought opening up and letting others in would make me weak but I've never had as much joy as I've had since I started appreciating that other people matter, too. I'm over-confident and ambitious and that won't ever completely change, but I did whatever I wanted after my father died without anyone having the guts to tell me I shouldn't do something. Because I'm smart, It worked for much of my life, but I'm a grownup now, with real life and death responsibilities and my hubris could have easily lead to disaster at some point. I know that because you love me you will stop me before I harm myself like that, even if it means I'm pissed off at you for a while.

And as for Teddy. Well that really better damn well be resolved now. But, you'll never believe this one, Meredith asked me what I would do if Burke came back and asked me to reconsider, told me the kids didn't matter, I was all that mattered and we could do heart surgeries 24/7– would I have a moment of doubt. And I have to admit, I would take a day to consider. And if you asked me what I thought before I was ready to answer you might not like my reaction either. And it's ridiculous, because I've never felt so sure about anything in my life. You're the only person I want to spend my life with, the only person who makes my heart skip a beat when I think about the future. You're the best man I've ever known, not to mention the best sex I've ever had. And about that other thing – I never liked kids. I never wanted kids in the abstract. But, after all, I think there's a chance I just might want yours. FN 2

Fn 1: Sentence based on line from movie version of "Age of Innocence" by Edith Wharton

Fn2: Sentence based on line from "Gaudy Night" by Dorothy Sayers