Title: Hate and Love

Fandom: Bleach

Rating: M

Disclaimer: Bleach is created and owned by Tite Kubo, I merely pay homage to characters and a story I love.

Warning: M for language and violence, sex too (sounds like fun times ahead to me)

Description: Kenpachi decides that Yumichika is his. His pursuit is less than appreciated by a very upset Yumichika, who tries to goad his captain into hating him. YAOI, KenpachixYumichika.

A/N: I read this pairing in a fanfic and thought to myself, "yeah, like that would ever happen", and then immediately went to thinking of ways it would happen. Why not? I love my Squad 11 men and they need lots of love too! I'm a huge fan of keeping characters in character, otherwise what's the point; so hopefully I don't stray too far in any of this.

Bad Situation

It wasn't usual for Kenpachi to get drunk with his subordinates, he preferred to drink alone. It was never a social activity to him; it was something to do when he was bored or wanted to get completely wasted, preferably ending with unconsciousness on his part. However, Yachiru had wanted to go to some stupid light festival and they'd all wound up in some backroom drinking up all the establishment's liquor, probably while the owner was cowering in a corner someplace. Kenpachi hadn't really remembered if they had actually asked for the room or just acquired it.

A couple of captains and lieutenants had been there, and a smattering of people from various squads. Ikkaku had gotten KO-ed by the big boobed lieutenant of Squad 10, presumably after getting too frisky. Kenpachi was pretty sure that the two were friends, but that hadn't stopped her from delivering a very nice right cross that hit solidly. It might actually have worked in Ikkaku's favor because Rangiku had then felt so bad that she had tried to revive him the rest of the night, assuring Yumichika that she would take care of him and make sure that he got someplace safe that night. Kenpachi was hoping that "safe" meant her quarters, he guess he'd see when he saw Ikkaku's face in the morning. It was never hard to tell when Ikkaku got laid; he always had the stupidest grin on his face the whole next day.

Yachiru had left sometime earlier in the care of Jushiro, which is why Kenpachi was now stumbling back to his quarters with his arm draped around the back of his 5th seat, Yumichika. Kenpachi had to admit he was surprised that the little guy could hold his weight at all. He looked like a good wind could blow him away to Kenpachi's eyes and he was smaller around the waist than a lot of the women Kenpachi had been with. Kenpachi looked at the man next to him and grinned. Hell, he looked better than most of the women that Kenpachi had been with.

"Get out of my way you disgusting slime!" Yumichika said, swiftly kicking a drunken man that had been approaching them in the stomach.

Kenpachi chuckled. He had always found Yumichika's temper to be amusing. Not of lot of the squad really talked a lot during battle, but Yumichika like to tear his opponents apart verbally while doing the same with his zanpakuto.

As they continued on their way, Kenpachi realized he really wanted to fight something. He probably shouldn't have gotten so drunk, because it was going to be hard to find someone to fight now. He wouldn't be able to chase them down and force them to face him.

"Yumichika," he said.

"Yes, Captain?" Yumichika replied.

"Wanna fight?"

"Ha! I'm wearing some of my best clothes because of the festival. They're already going to smell like someone poured a gallon of sake over it, I'm not going to get blood on them as well," Yumichika said.

Kenpachi accepted that as a reason. It seemed like a perfectly Yumichika reason to not do something.

Yumichika was happy to see that his captain was settling down and that he wasn't going to wind up at Squad 4 nursing a broken…everything. Yumichika would've been less happy if he knew that Kenpachi had found a solution to his not getting a fight.

"Damn it," Yumichika said, as Kenpachi slid a little to the ground. He wrapped his arms around Kenpachi's waist and hoisted him upright again. "Arm around my shoulder," he ordered.

"Yessir," joked Kenpachi. He saw a copse of trees ahead. "Hey, do you mind if we take a break up there?" he said.

Yumichika sighed. He knew from his experiences lugging a drunken Ikkaku around that his captain probably wanted to pee. "Fine," he agreed.

When they got there though, he was surprised when his captain turned and faced him.

"You and Ikkaku, you've never…?" Kenpachi asked, his question obvious from the look on his face.

"What? Like it's any of your business," Yumichika said indignantly.

Kenpachi shrugged. Ikkaku seemed to be all about the ladies but maybe they had some sort of deal like Shunsui and Jushiro did. He liked his 3rd seat and didn't want to be crossing any lines.

"Like I'd ever date that jerk any…eeeee!" Yumichika was cut off, much to his surprise, by his captain picking him up and propping him against a tree. His captain was a lot taller than he was and his feet dangled above the ground as he struggled.

"Captain! What are you doing?" Yumichika said, trying to remain calm. Despite his question, it was very clear to him what his captain was doing, he wasn't stupid. He could clearly feel his captain's hard member pushing into him and see the lust in his eyes. I should have just fought him, he thought to himself.

"Mmmm…Yumichika," Kenpachi said, pressing him harder into the tree, slightly biting at his neck.

"Stop!" Yumichika yelled, pushing at Kenpachi's chest. "Stop now!"

Kenpachi ignored him and kissed him heatedly, smashing his lips against Yumichika's. Yumichika felt like he couldn't breathe. Feeling his captain's wild spiritual pressure, the force of his captain's weight pressing him into the tree, his demanding lips, and the very obvious fact of his arousal, Yumichika panicked. Growing up in the streets had taught him a couple of things, and his reaction to grab his zanpakuto was automatic. He still could have stopped there, but his emotions; both fear and rage, lead him to do something that he swore he would never do.

"'Split and deviate, Ruri'iro Kujaku."

"Ok," Yumichika thought, as he lay in bed that morning after a sleepless night, "It's ok, I've got a plan".

His plan first required Ikkaku to be unconscious. He had been waiting for his friend to come back to their shared living quarters, but so far no luck.

The morning drew on. Yumichika frowned. He wouldn't go straight in to work would he? There was supposedly some sort of morning report that they were supposed to be there for but none of them, including the captain, ever made it on time, or sometimes at all.

"Damn," Yumichika said, and began to get ready.

Yumichika cursed again, although at further length, when he saw that Ikkaku was sitting on the futon in Captain Zaraki's office. Captain Zaraki was already sitting behind his desk.

Yumichika sat down next to his best friend gingerly, looking over at him. He didn't look pissed off, so obviously Kenpachi hadn't said anything yet.

"Hey, Yumichika," Ikkaku said. "You look really, I don't know, good today."

Yumichika sighed. He knew that he was practically glowing from the extra spiritual pressure that he had rattling around inside.

"Um, I had good date last night," Yumichika answered.

"Heh, me too," grinned Ikkaku. He was waiting for Yumichika to make the inevitable jokes about Rangiku knocking him out, and then curiously pumping him for information about what had happened last night, but all he got was silence. He looked up to see his captain glaring at Yumichika.

"Hey, Captain, you look kind of beat up. Do you…" Ikkaku began.

"What the hell Yumichika!" Kenpachi said angrily, moving from behind his desk. Yumichika got up quickly. "Are you a fucking vampire or something? Sucking me dry and then leaving me to die or something?"

"AHHHHH!" Ikkaku yelped, leaping into the corner. All that was ringing in his ears was Yumichika saying he'd had a good date and Kenpachi saying the words "sucking me dry".

Kenpachi looked over to his now completely wild-eyed 3rd seat. "You have no idea do you? You think we're talking about sex or something."

"HAHAHHAA, um, there's paperwork. Paperwork should get paperworked," Ikkaku said, bolting out the door.

Good, Yumichika said. He had no idea where Yachiru was, but he wanted to talk to his captain alone.

"You asshole! You're pissed off at me for defending myself against you? What the hell kind of person are you? Did you think I'd just let you rape me?" Yumichika yelled.

"Whoa, I wasn't going to do any of that," Kenpachi backed off a little. "I was just taking a kiss."

"SAME DIFFERENCE FUCKWAD! I still didn't want to do it!"

Kenpachi wondered why he didn't slash the little guy in half right there, but he still felt drained from last night. It would be better to do it when he was at full power so he could enjoy the moment more.

"If you tell Ikkaku I'll kill you!" Yumichika continued.

"You couldn't kill me," Kenpachi laughed.

"Not in a fair fight! But I sure as hell could sneak into your room and cut off your hands while you were sleeping! No more fighting for you! You wouldn't die in battle; you'd probably die of a paper cut from being forced to a desk job. EXCEPT THAT YOU COULDN'T EVEN DO THAT!" Yumichika had been dealing with the feeling of Kenpachi's chaotic spiritual pressure that had been trapped inside of his zanpakuto all night and it was finally getting to him.

Kenpachi was shocked. "That's cowardly," he said in a low dangerous voice.

"Damn right it's cowardly, I feel like I should poke out an eye for even saying it, but I would do it if you told Ikkaku about my zanpakuto," Yumichika threatened.

Yumichika didn't really have anything to add after that, so he launched himself out the door. He needed to find Ikkaku and straighten some things out.

Kenpachi was still wondering why he didn't at least strangle the little brat for a little while. He realized that he actually kind of thought it was cute though. It's not like anyone ever talked to him that way, now, or ever. He thought of Yumichika like someone would view a puppy growling when they got too close to his bone.

"Ikkaku," Yumichika said, having found him without much difficultly. Ikkaku had only the most tenuous grasp of the concept of controlling his spiritual pressure and he definitely couldn't hide it when he was this agitated.

"Uh, Yumichika, you know I'm pretty busy right now so..." Ikkaku began, trying to walk off. Yumichika took a firm grip on his collar and refused to let him go.

"Nothing is going on between me and the captain," Yumichika said. "At least, nothing romantic is."

Ikkaku had been trying to figure a way out of the situation in his mind for the last couple of minutes, but seeing the look in Yumichika's eyes finally calmed him. He could tell that Yumichika was pissed, more pissed off than Ikkaku had seen him in a long time.

"So…" Ikkaku started.

"We're just fighting, it's fine," Yumichika said. He couldn't get the anger out of his voice though.

"Heh," Ikkaku said. "Well, that's not that bad. At least you two aren't fucking, I think I might have to drink myself under for a couple weeks if that happened."

"Ok," Yumichika said, trying to get things back on to a more normal track, "What happened with you and Rangiku?"

Ikkaku grinned.