It was a hot summer day, and Ed was dying of thirst.
He came upon a soda machine and fished the last of his change out of his pocket.
"Let's see…60 cents. One quarter…two quarters….HEY!" He glared at the machine. "It ate my quarter! Oh hell no, I'm thirsty over here!" He kicked the machine a few times and growled when it refused to give him anything. "Look you, I'm not messing around! GIVE ME MY QUARTER!"
A passer by glanced at him. "Hey young man, you need a hand?"
"You stay the hell out of this! This is between him and me!" Ed yelled, pointing at the machine.
The person blinked and walked up to the nearest police officer. "Hey sir… There's this really suspicious kid…"
"You! Freeze with your hands up, NOW!"
Ed glanced over his shoulder at the cop. "You talkin' to me?...Hey!" He was immediately tased to the floor. "Chill, grandpa! I just want my stupid quarter back!"
"You're in violation of the law, ruining public property-"
" Oh, like you're some saint! All you government pricks do is rip people off, squeezing every last cent out of us! Well I've had it!"
He jumped up and was immediately tased back down. The cop pulled out his walkie talkie.
"I need back up! I've got a crazy one here!"
"CRAZY? Who're you calling crazy? If this piece of crap worked-"
"Calm down, kid. It's just a quarter."
"NO I WON'T CALM DOWN! I want a soda, now!"
A group of people had begun to gather. The soda man stepped forward. "What's the problem, here?"
Ed glared at him. " Your machine stole my money, bub."
"Jeez, if it'll shut you up, here." The soda man unlocked the machine and handed Ed his money.
Ed scowled. "That's it?"
"Yeah, 50 cents, right?"
"So you're just gonna lock it up and let it keep taking people's money, huh?"
"Sure! Profit for me!"
Ed went to jail for beating up a soda man.
And he never did get that soda…