Annie's POV
Annie never really had the best track record in role models. She learned that the hard way when her parents and original role models cut her off after going into rehab. And her role models in love and sappy romance weren't exactly the best guides to follow in the past two years. Plus as much as she gets compared to a Disney princess, living and acting like one has had a fair share of drawbacks too.
So with that kind of track record, one would think Annie would stop looking for people, loved ones or fictional animated characters to look up to and live up to. But instead, she found six more of them over the last two-and-a-half years. While she didn't always want to live by their example; or at least their worst ones; she still wanted to emulate them and follow the best lessons that they had taught her.
Admittedly, it was harder to look up to and draw inspiration from Pierce than the others. Yet perhaps Annie fought for him harder and longer than anyone else did last year because she did see some of herself in him. Pierce acted out in large part because he was excluded over and over and was afraid to lose everyone. And in truth, nothing he did was any worse than when Annie got Chang fired and tried to keep everyone from passing Spanish just so she wouldn't lose everyone either.
Yet the group forgave her the very next day and raced to save her life when they thought she was being Changed. On the flipside, they wasted most of the next year fighting Pierce and being far less forgiving when he was so clingy. And Annie did know that if she wasn't so young and was old enough to know better; and if that Spanish final wasn't as suspiciously easy as it was; they might have hated her that long for her manipulations too.
So maybe Anne was a little selfish in hoping Pierce could reconcile with the group and tone down his clinginess; because it would show that if she ever went that far, she could come back and earn her friends' forgiveness too. Besides, if Pierce could still consider Annie her favorite during the worst of his madness, and if he could save the school from the City College paintball empire, didn't that earn leniency? Just like her good deeds and penances hopefully balanced out her selfishness and occasionally over-the-top friendship?
While Annie often saw the worst of herself in Pierce, she hoped that the best of herself was in Shirley to balance it out. The religious differences would always be a problem, but she was getting better at brushing off baptisms and surprise visits from priests and exorcists. Yet Annie chose to focus on the less prejudiced things religion installed in Shirley; like loving everyone, being a mother figure to all and rebuilding a broken relationship.
Annie wanted to nurture friends and loved ones as much as Shirley nurtured her children and much of the group; and she did kind of wish she could deal out tough love like she could when regular love didn't work. And just as Annie didn't entirely give up on Pierce, Shirley didn't give up on her husband even when their marriage broke apart, and now they were reconciled and raising a new baby. Shirley was called naïve and worse for taking Andre back; just as Annie got called naïve or worse for all those times she saw the good in everyone. Yet Shirley's faith in a changed Andre and making him a better man again paid off, and Annie wished that if the time came, she would be strong and loving enough to still bring out the good in a lost soul too.
Of course, she couldn't ignore how she was technically doing that with a certain someone for the last two years, and with far less rapid progress. But although she didn't have Shirley's instantaneous luck; or her own pregnancy, thank their separate Gods; maybe rebuilding a certain lost soul and making him good enough to try something new would work in the long term as well.
Annie already knew that having faith in someone could pay off, even if it didn't work the first time. It certainly didn't work at first with Troy, especially since it was unrequited idolizing from afar. Yet it took rehab and over two years of actual socializing with Troy to realize that she had idolized a false Troy in high school. As much as she put him on a pedestal back then, she now realized that they were really the same person after all.
Both of them flamed out in high school in their own ways, were knocked severely down to Earth before they got to Greendale, and were now actually discovering who they really were. Outsiders might believe Troy had regressed, going from a high school quarterback to one-half of the nerdiest duo in America, and someone who said nonsensical things at least twice a given week.
But Annie knew that like herself, Troy had transcended his stereotypical high school role into someone who was different, somewhat weirder, still not entirely grown up….but much more happier and true to himself. They both struggled to prove that they were grown up, especially to Jeff, yet they were slowly but steadily starting to prove that they could be adults; even if they were unconventional ones. And if the Troy that lifted Annie up during his 21'st birthday was any indication, Troy would be the kind of adult that Annie wished she would ultimately become.
All it took was the right people to help Troy become who he was really supposed to be; even if the right No. 1 person for him was really Abed instead of Annie the whole time.
Sometimes looking up to and seeing one's self in Abed was tricky. After all, there was literally no one like Abed, no matter how meta and pop culture obsessed they thought they were. And sometimes that didn't always come out in the right ways, like when he was detached in a crisis or got….romantic just to act out a movie or character. He was occasionally too lost in his own little word of things that really didn't need to be obsessed over; but then again, the same could be said of Annie when her own little world and fixations overtook her.
Abed was easily misunderstood as a pop culture robot while Annie got labeled as a school and day planning robot. Yet they were both all too easily dismissed and defined by their obsessions, even though they often had the most sense of right and wrong in the group. Plus Annie knew Abed was not an emotionless robot; otherwise he wouldn't have imagined a stop-motion universe out of the pain of losing his mother for Christmas, he wouldn't have ultimately saved Dean Pelton's job when his commercial went out of control, and he wouldn't have made up a "My Dinner With Andre" birthday night just to feel close to Jeff again.
While Annie was the most open member of the group and Abed was the most internal, she was well aware that they had the same pain, fears, and desire to be appreciated for who they were and not just for their obsessions. They both often made things worse and harder for their friends without really knowing it, but Abed could always be counted on to find the right cliché, pop reference or persona to make things right when he had to. He never let what others thought of him and how people dismissed him get him down, and Annie hoped she would have that kind of thick skin and confidence in who she was someday as well.
That was as good a segway as any to get into Britta, who Annie was already put side by side against in so many ways. Whether as romantic rivals for two separate men, or as contrasts in womanhood, body types and generations, Annie and Britta were seemingly polar opposites from the start. This used to be framed negatively against Annie, until Britta became the human buzz kill and Annie became the most ogled member of the duo.
Yet there were times in which Annie regretted joining in all the "Britta ruins everything" jokes - even if she did legitimately ruin a lot of things. However, Annie was just as much of a train wreck and walking disaster as Britta was sometimes; but no one ever said that she had "Annie'd" it and people forgave her much easier when they looked at her Disney eyes and age. Britta didn't have Disney eyes or youth on her side, and that wasn't her fault.
But for all the times she messed something up or brought out anything fun, she just kept trying anyway. She never gave up on trying to fit in and get people to care, even if some of it was more to serve her own ego. No matter how much her friends mocked and belittled her, she didn't give up on what was important to her; just as Annie tried not to abandon her hopes, dreams and beliefs when she was mocked and belittled. She only wished she could be that resilient and committed when she was Britta's age; only without being called "the worst" all the time. Yet Annie did wonder in her weaker moments how accurate that label really was.
While she and Britta were so different in age, looks, life experience, worldliness and popularity, Annie often wished she could tell her that she understood her more than she might imagine. She even swore sometimes that she would stick up for her more to make her feel as appreciated as she deserved, since she knew how much of a lift that could be. If only Britta's Britta'ing didn't make it so darn hard for Annie to defend her; but maybe one of these days she would be safe to defend in public.
But it'd probably turn out that she spent so much time excusing and defending Jeff that she may not have enough good stuff for Britta.
Annie excused Jeff in part because of the same reasons she excused Pierce. If Pierce was a cautionary tale of what Annie could be decades from now, Jeff was a cautionary tale of what her worst traits could make her into 10-15 years from now. But unlike Pierce, Jeff still had many more of his better traits come to the surface more often; no matter how hard he tried to bury them in order to tell himself and Annie that they weren't there. Yet there was still time for Jeff before he became as close to a lost cause as Pierce threatened to be last year; just as there was much more time for Annie to avoid being the worst of them.
Although Jeff was a….special case, all of Annie's friends had the same damaging flaws that she didn't want to absorb. But when they were at their best, they were the greatest role models she could ever have asked for, in addition to being the greatest friends. Perhaps that was why she pushed so hard as the upright, uptight moral center of the group, to show them that they didn't have to let their bad sides win out; and to teach herself the same lesson as well. Of course, if she was ever that preachy out loud to them, then she might finally be accused of "Annie'ing" after all. At least she had learned to be a bit more subtle about it, in comparison to the past.
The paradox was that the harder Annie pushed and hoped for them to be examples to live by, the higher they raised the bar for her to live up to it. She knew she had a long way to go on that and might not get it right until the very end, if that soon.
But Annie wasn't the most dedicated student she knew for nothing, even if she rarely had much competition….and freaked out whenever she did. She wondered which of her friends had the best methods for not caring about things like that. Jeff was good at not caring, yet he did have even stronger vanity than Annie did, so that canceled it out.
Picking and choosing which traits to emulate from role models was hard work, even after over two years. However, if she could just be as good as they were at their best, Annie knew that she could make herself unstoppable; and be able to properly thank her friends for setting such a good example.
Jeff's POV
As much as Jeff cared about his friends and begrudgingly admitted to caring about them out loud, there were plenty of moments where they were tough to deal with; and not just by the lazy Jeff Winger standards. In those incidents, he really wished that his life was actually a TV show, like it certainly was in Abed's daydreams. In that case, he could appeal to the head writer to get some rewrites on his friends; or just use legal jargon to get him fired and take over the job himself.
Pierce would need a complete overhaul in too many ways to count; perhaps too much for one or even 10 head writers to handle. Although he had been less of a jackass this semester, if only by the extremely high jackass bar he set all of last year, Jeff still had to be on his guard in case he had another string of mind games ready. This wasn't ideal for someone who didn't like to be guard for anything other than preserving hair follicles, keeping the perfect shape of his abs and fending off Dean Pelton come-ons.
Mind games and manipulation was usually something Jeff could tolerate, since it was a cool way of life; at least from the other side of it. But Pierce just had to be so over the top and evil about it, which took all the fun out of outsmarting him and manipulating him back. And it was possible to have fun doing that, at least against a better and more worthy opponent. Like Annie, for instance.
For all of Annie's do gooder, cutesy Disney acts, he knew that there was a manipulative edge to it and she really should have figured it out by now as well. But the difference between her and Pierce was that Pierce used his scheming for pure evil. Annie did use hers for evil and annoying things too, like studying and bullying people into caring about things. Yet Annie didn't use her powers for evil, per se, and never did it to hurt anyone or call them gay or nearly drive someone to suicide.
In addition, even when she was being selfish and clingy, she at least always apologized and made things right when she realized she was wrong. Or in those times when she…..wasn't the only one in the wrong, she didn't lord it over people. She just had a happy but not gloating smile, a kind word of appreciation and an ability to forgive and forget; even when it was clear she didn't really want to brush something aside. But the point that Pierce could stand to be a little more like Annie still stuck; even though Pierce would be welcome to be anyone else by this point.
Shirley would need a far less extreme overhaul, as they just needed to work on her pushing religion on everyone, being a guilt-inducing mother figure and baking. But when he found out there were darker elements to her in the foosball mishap, it didn't bring back good memories for Jeff, so maybe some stones should be unturned. Nevertheless, he didn't think he was alone in wishing Shirley could tone down the turned stuff.
Annie acted all too naggy and sweet for her own good sometimes too, yet even she had her limits. Since she was young, she didn't try to treat her friends like children or babies; perhaps because she knew how it was to be on the other end of that. When Shirley stopped acting sweet, she could be a pretty big bully as Jeff remembered all too well a few weeks ago. Yet Annie's tougher side was used more for standing up to bullies or wrongdoers or kicking ass in paintball.
While Shirley's mothering was aggravating when unchecked, Annie was a more subtle nurturer; using her love and care to educate and heal people rather than mother them to death. Shirley used those skills to housewife and sermonize, yet Nurse and/or Professor Annie would probably conquer the world. And that was the least….awkward way Jeff ever thought about Nurse and/or Professor Annie, so he quit while he was barely ahead.
The best way to kill those thoughts was to turn to Troy and his goofy way of thinking. Sometimes Jeff barely knew how he survived a minute without Abed; he might if he bothered to think about it for more than a second, but he had a life. While Troy was showing scattered signs of growing up and being a leader; which he certainly didn't want to think about for more than a second; Jeff questioned his ability to survive outside of Greendale and Abed's little world. Without a place that would let him take Abed along and didn't require him to understand every single word, he would be toast at the moment.
It was the ultimate reversal from high school, where Troy was on top of the world and Annie was at the Adderall-hooked bottom. But now Troy was just starting to adapt to the outside world, whereas Annie already had such a head start. She had to adapt to the harsh real world much sooner than Troy did, and now she was on her way to being able to thrive anywhere.
It didn't matter where she went, since she would excel and be the best regardless, whereas Troy still needed his training wheels for a little while longer. But even if he excelled with or without them, he would never get as far as Annie; and if she didn't want to rub that in Troy's face, Jeff hoped she'd do the same to the other jags at her future high school reunions. That would be good to watch….on a YouTube video that Abed would probably film for the group, of course. Not anywhere….more close up.
Speaking of Abed, Jeff knew that he was as lost a cause as any. But it wasn't so bad that Abed was incapable of change; at least when he wasn't roping him into "My Dinner With Andre" parodies, imagining him as a stop motion jack in the box or standing by while he filmed him turning into Dean Pelton. Other than that, Abed was fine the way he was; excluding his personas that seemed to be even better with the ladies than Jeff. He had at least ruined Han Solo for him for some reason already.
Sometimes Jeff did wish Abed could tone down his movie/TV obsession and get another bit. Annie was unbelievably obsessed with school, getting A's even at Greendale and planning out every bit of her life, yet even she did other things sometimes. She had passions other than school and grades, and that might be why she wasn't an Abed herself. Focusing on more than one bit or obsession made her less predictable; which in some cases was a bad thing and was more of a pleasant surprise in others.
Although Annie was always needled for good reason for caring too much about grades and structure, she went off the book in many more ways than Abed; and in quite revealing and interesting ways as well. And that didn't just refer to her steady collection of revealing outfits over the years….which meant it was time to quit while more barely ahead again.
Going from that to thinking about Britta would have been even more awkward for Jeff in the past. But with their 'will they/won't they' drama all but dead and with her Britta'ing providing a death blow almost every week, it was much easier to relax about her. Of course, it was often easier to relax about her from a distance, and not while she was going on and on about some buzz killing thing or being the worst at something.
While Britta lorded her morality, life experience and four months of psych majoring over the group, it didn't magically mean she knew what she was doing. It's not like she had Annie's track record of instantly knowing everything, or not rubbing it in quite as much when she did, or successfully fixing something when she knew she got it wrong.
Britta did have more common sense and was smart enough to be cynical about everything…..yet that alone wasn't enough to get by. Maybe Annie's girly head in the clouds, learn everything and help everyone philosophy wasn't enough either….yet she had her own brand of common sense and wisdom to bail her out when it wasn't. If Britta had some of that to balance things out, she could have kept her name from being a verb a long time ago.
God, his friends really were screwed up; it made them even luckier that Jeff was around to help them survive. Without his leadership and big speeches, the group would have fallen apart on so many big adventures. At least they knew enough to listen to him and recognize his genius then.
Of course, Annie didn't always listen, so that was a strike against her. And in those so-called instances when he was so-called wrong, she kept bugging him to do something different and annoying. Then she just had to look proud during those so-called moments when she was so-called proven right and he did do the so-called right thing.
But he did those other heroics and master plans on his own…leaving aside how he sometimes didn't even bother until Annie bugged him into getting involved in the first place. She didn't even have the smarts to gloat and lord it over him when getting involved turned out well; even when he admitted under penalty of Disney face that it wasn't torture.
Yet she did provide another form of torture by using other faces then; such as adding a big, adoring smile to the usual Disney face that almost made everything worth it. It did soften the blow when he realized he'd get one of those faces again if/when he gave in next time. It was almost as aggravating as the smirk she gave when she outsmarted and manipulated him at his own level, revealing the evil….worthy opponent underneath the child-like innocence.
But even that didn't compare to those occasional glances and stares that were almost as….seductive as the one Jeff perfected on women for years. And yet an almost 21-year-old girl/budding woman was….somewhat as good as bringing the opposite sex to their knees….or something else not so suggestive that he couldn't think of right now, without even knowing it! Assuming that she truly didn't know by now….but if she ever did….
Well, so much for quitting while Jeff was still ahead.
This was why quitting and not thinking so much was a good thing, in spite of Annie's evidence otherwise. Otherwise you get deranged ideas in your head like wishing your friends were more like your youngest friend. Or you fall into downright insanity and think about being more like said youngest friend yourself…..as if you weren't turning into that already and were kicking and screaming less and less along the way….
Yep, insanity was truly the only word for it. Even if is an explanation that Jeff had to repeat with more and more frequency.
But hell, if the others wanted to be more like Annie someday, he had no reason to care. It might make them better off, yet he'd be fine either way and that was the key thing. Besides, if they ever did become as good as she was at her best….and even at her worst sometimes….they would be unstoppable and they might get crazy ideas like not needing him anymore. And it would make Jeff look worse for being the only holdout.
Yet if they didn't care and wanted him to be like Annie….maybe they wouldn't joke or nag or castrate him or make him feel sleazy and wrong for…..wanting to learning from it up close.
No, even Annie couldn't weed out that kind of evil. And fighting that evil was just too much work, so there was no point making the effort. Annie would sell him differently and she'd be evil enough to win like always….so there was no point involving her.
She had enough to do in setting such a good example for everyone else to aspire to. And if one could get that kind of desire to learn from such a role model….that was their disease and cross to bear.
Now if Jeff could just finally get rid of that Annie voice saying it wasn't a disease, he could get somewhere. But after two-and-a-half years, it was bound to tire out by now. Of course, he started saying that about two years ago and he was still reciting these inner monologues word for word anyway.