Disclaimer: I do not own NCIS, Mark Harmon, Michael Weatherly, Cote de Pablo, Sasha Alexander, Pauley Perrette, Sean Murray, David McCallum, or David Dietzen.
A/N: First EVER NCIS fic, so be gentle. Any and all mistakes are all mine, let me know what they are so I can fix them!
And to all my loyal readers (if any of you are reading this, it is a rather large jump from my regular stuff) know that I am not abandoning any of my other stories, I'm just taking a short break to get their plot line moving again.
oOo
Gibbs' Unspoken Rules/Facts of the MCRT/Forensics Lab/Autopsy/Elevator
1: Abby gets a Caff-Pow, always.
2: McGee will hack into the FBI or CIA database with only a look...from Gibbs of course.
3: Ziva can kill someone with a paperclip, but she will only threaten Tony with said death.
4: Abby will wear pink, but only when she dances in the rain.
5: Tony can be convinced to dance in the rain if you promise to make gumbo.
6: Ducky's stories will always be finished later.
7: Jimmy is the only person who will ask Ducky to continue a story.
8: The elevator is for Gibbs' use at whatever and whenever he wants, the stairs are suggested.
9: Do not touch Bert. If you have to ask who Bert is, you should never go into the Forensics lab.
10: Giving Tony painkillers will ensure an interesting evening.
11: If you feel nauseous , do not ride in the van/car while a) Gibbs is driving b) Ziva is driving c) Tony is on painkillers.
12: Tony once shot someone for putting their hand up Abby's skirt, and he would do so again in a heartbeat.
13: Tim has a picture perfect swirly technique; do not tempt him to use it.
14: Ziva is a good cook, but if you tick her off, she may poison you. BEWARE.
15: Gibbs should not have to speak for you to know what to do.
16: NCIS gets jurisdiction!
17: Tony will get framed for murder at least once a year.
18: Abby without caffeine is like Gibbs without coffee.
19: Tony has only gotten truly piss-drunk on 15 separate occasions in his life.
20: Beware the sniper rifle.
21: Autopsy is a good place for a hook-up at night.
22: Tony once tackled Gibbs, he was head slapped, and then given an 'attaboy' when Gibbs saw the bullet hole where his head had been a few seconds before.
23: Head slaps are a form of affection.
24: Kate and sniper rifles don't mix.
25: Neither does Tony and the plague.
26: Or Gibbs and drug dealers/rivers.
27: Or Abby and crazy ex-es.
28: Or Ziva and Saleem.
29: Gibbs has a father, and he's awesome.
30: Tony's father is a sad excuse of a parent compared to Gibbs.
31: Agent Tommy and Officer Lisa will 'get it on' in the sequel.
32: Abby hated Tony at first then realized he liked the art she hung in her lab.
33: The roses Tony gives Abby every year for her birthday always have a new collar wrapped around them.
34: Tim and Tony will bicker until they're mute, but they will shoot anyone else that tries to take a hit at the other.
35: Abby and Ziva go shopping once a month; this is proven by the cargos Abby has that do not have chains, and the lacy black dress Ziva owns.
36: Paris: Foreshadowing.
37: Abby plus duct tape, means you're screwed.
38: So does Abby and superglue.
39: Tony and Abby have seen each other naked, but have never slept with each other.
40: Tony has Gibbs-radar.
41: Gibbs will always turn up in Abby's lab before the 'ding'
42: Do not ask Gibbs to choose. Gibbs always has, and always will, choose Tony.
43: Screw the rules, you do what you have to for family.
A/N: I AM CONTINUING THIS! The following chapters will each be a short one-shot, based on one or more of the rules above.
Review please and love ya long time!