(A/N- I wrote this after what you know as the end of JP's third book, just took a while to post.)
Hey all you awesome life-saving fans! It's me, Max. I've been reading a whole bunch of your little stories, and decided to do a little twist on the word 'fic' in 'fanfic' by writing a documentary of exactly what is going on in my life right now. I promise I won't backspace any thing that isn't a typo. (I know that's going to come right back at me and I'll have to keep something really embarrassing, but oh well.)
Now actually, some of your stories actually seem like they could happen…but really. I just don't wear pink. And when I figured out what 'Fax' meant, (almost right after I read a story with 'FAX' written in the summary ('Mang' took me a little longer)) I banned Fang himself from the website. Smart move, Max. Now he is just eager to get this laptop back so he can blab about it in his blog. And I'm not that crazy about him! In case you hadn't known, I'm not usually that sappy of a person. Oh, and another thing about your stories, (I'm helping you here!) I haven't even tried to count how many people put us all in a hotel, (paying for it with the MR card) Nudge and Angel in one room, Ig and Gazzy in another, and me and Fang in the last, with only one bed! First of all, how sexist is that! And second, we don't normally live in hotels. Hint: we're bird kids on the run. Third, you can quite easily ask for a room with two beds at the front counter of a hotel! Welcome to the 21st century, people! Now Nudge is trying to se what I'm typing on Fang's laptop. Here is a bit from her speech:"Wow Max, you don't like Faxness? I do! I thought it was really cool, like you should take a few romance tips from these fans (here Iggy looks over from lighting the fire) and like, I don't know, maybe all of us could! Hey, are you typing what I I'm saying! Type this then, Fang and Ma-ax, si-"(here I cover her mouth, typing this one- handed) Aargh. There's that thing I said earlier about backspacing. Oh, well. I've taken away my hand now, and she's rambling about how much you fans underestimate her cuteness and therefore ability to get a boyfriend. Gazzy is laughing at her while Ig is uncharacteristically silent. Fang is still sitting there, drawing in the dirt. I think he's in love with this computer. He is missing his true love.
Angel. Angel just told me not to be so negative. Why? Oh. I just realized that I was thinking about how Nudge will never get a chance to actually get a boyfriend, considering who we are. You know, bird kids and all.Now, if you're wondering where we are, don't. We are somewhere in Texas, in a cave, surrounded by absolutely nothing. Even with our directional senses, we can figure out o more than that. It's kind of weird, 'cause I get this buzzy feeling whenever I try to find out where we are using my inner directions. Our little cave is the only place in this area that is even slightly inconspicuous. That means we can see nothing for practically forever, and if an enemy comes, we will easily know. The enemy will also probably see us, too, even if there are other caves around here. Haven't bothered to look yet, we just set down here. Hi!!! If you are a boy fan, I'm waiting! Sorry. That was Nudge. I told her not to be too forward with it, but it was her choice. And now I can't backspace it. Oh, and Total is asleep next to Angel, who has now picked him up and is coming over to see what I'm writing. Hey! I love you all, and please come visit me in Texas! Hugs. That was Angel. She is so sweet, but so scary when she needs to be. And sometimes even when she doesn't.Now I know most of you girls are drooling over Fang, so to kick you off, I would say something, but I'm still just not quite sure what to say except for that, as you all probably know, me and him have something, so back off. Speaking of Fang, the so named has now left the cave with Ig and now they are up flying. Probably to get dinner. Poor Nudge is still trying to survive on doughnuts, apples, bread, cheese, and orange juice. Not very healthy, except for the OJ. Now that the big boys are gone, Gazzy is very bored, as he puts it. Sexist pig. I say so to him, and he goes to play with Angel, who was napping. Good. Now me 'n' Nudge can get some down time. Maybe we will talk about boys, maybe not. I just invited her over…Hi!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! This is sooooooo cool! Me and Max are gonna talk about boys! Yay! Maybe I can get her to tell me when her and Fang's wedding is planned for? Oooooooooooooo. Now Max is gonna kill me, but I don't care! This is fun! I think we should also talk about how much I deserve a boyfriend! (sigh) If one of you is interested and you are a bo
Just cut her off. (I feel sad inside. Is she so desperate that she would settle for you) To answer the big question that is probably running through your mind, no I'm still around 14 or 15, and no, me and Fang are not getting married anytime soon. (You should read that fanfic called First Kiss, it's really good.)
I just had a Nudgeified conversation, which means Nudge talks a lot, and I listen for any important bits and occasionally add in a tidbit myself to help her along one subject. I learned almost nothing, (she ended up talking mostly about me and Fang) until I prodded her on the subject of crushes. I shouldn't have asked. She gave me a huge list of almost totally random people up until just about a minute ago. (By the way, the guys are back. Completely irrelevant, but I just thought you might want to know) here is what she said, except she used more words:"…and I liked that cute guy in Arizona who was walking down below as we flew, and I think I might even like-Iggy! Fang! You're back! Did you bring any food? (she sighs) No, just meat…""Nudge, you can shut up now" Iggy in formed her with his usual charm (note the sarcasm)I think I've caught on to something here. Is there any possible romance between Iggy and Nudge? Is Iggy's heart capable of wanting anything but fire and explosions? (not that way, you sexist pig) How long has Nudge kept this secret? Can Nudge possibly settle for one love, Iggy? I decide to investigate. But now Fang is asking for the computer, so you'll just have to wait until the next chapter I write. (Nudge wants to write the next chapter, but don't worry, I've made her take the backspace vow) See ya!