Not Everyone Can Wynne Part 1
a/n: This is a two shot of the SelinaxEdward pairing. It takes place before the Hush comic and if you've read that you'll be able to catch on quickly what's going on with the Riddler. If you haven't well, it's a surprise in the second part. The title should be a good enough clue. Furthermore, the Riddler is how I perceive the Riddler. I sort of expand on what he is in the comic and create a more nolanverse one. I write him this way in all of my fanfics. Anyways I hope you enjoy!
He stared down at the martini glass full of green liquid. The way his eyes were glossed over either prove he was in deep thought or drunk, but more likely both. His fingers pinched the stem of the glass as he slowly swirled the liquid above. He watched as the liquid formed a circular current, but he wasn't really watching. Similar to how he wasn't really hearing the classical music in the background or listening to the hush conversation going on at the other tables. He rolled his tootsie pop to his other cheek out of habit before plucking it out of his mouth and dropping it into the appletini.
If someone were to see him they would think he just lost a family member or a wife was asking for a divorce, but the green suit would deter them from caring. Edward let out a sigh as he pressed his face into his light purple-gloved hands. He rubbed his face trying to rub away the entire scenario, but being as smart as he was, he knew it would accomplish nothing. He debated for a moment the existence of a higher being. Did the creature who created everything enjoy manipulating his life like a sacrificial pawn? Was it karma for his own chess game he played with others on many occasion? He mulled over the questions as he buried his face deeper into his hands. He knew the truth though. There was no god. Only a person with the brain this size a raisin would believe the façade of religion. He was not one them. The truth was that the idiots in this world were given everything while the intelligent were punished either by the idiots' stupid choices or just plain bad luck. The way society has coddled those morons had destroyed Darwinism all together. Why was he the only sane person in this world?
He let out another sigh as he pulled his face away from his hands. He grabbed his black cane and stood up from the bar stool. He reached into his pocket and pulled out his wallet, dropping a hundred on the counter before picking up his green hat and heading to the door. He had been happily surprise to see that the criminal area in the Iceberg longue had been moderately quiet, and by moderately quiet he meant the absence of other rogues. Tonight, it was filled with some up and coming mobsters or black market dealers that Edward had littler concern for. He heard the side door open and only glanced for a moment. A short chubby man in a tux walked out. He didn't need to see the pointy nose to know it was the Oswald. By the sound of his walking he seemed angry and furious. Edward was too mentally exhausted to even try garner a conversation with the behind the scenes criminal. He might have gotten many of his equipment from Penguin, but that didn't mean they had to be on friendly conversational terms. No, it was better to escape to his home and mope there. No, Edward wasn't mopping…he was merely deliberating.
"Edward!" he heard Oswald shout to his back as he almost made it to the back exit (or front exit for criminals). Edward frowned as he stopped in his place. He was having a horrible day, he did not need Oswald's ranting on to bleed his ears today. He turned to face the small man as he waddled towards him.
"Oswald, as I'm sure you can see, I'm actually about to leave," he stated with an edge to his tone. Most observant rogues would notice a difference in the way Edward was talking. It still had the dismissive arrogance, but lacked the happy bragging. Of course, Oswald was never very observant when money was on the line.
"Edward, you associate sometime with that feline bitch," Oswald snapped out, his double chin forming an angry line to match the tone.
Edward's quick eyes and deductive skills came to a conclusion within a second. "Ah Catwoman has stolen from you…again. The reason why birds and cats don't get along has never been a riddle," he said with a wave of his free hand.
"Don't start with me, Nigma," Oswald growled pointing his stubby finger in his direction.
Normally that remark would cause Edward to smirk and go on a wonderful rant about bird cages in a subtle or not so subtle hint that Oswald has always had poor security for what he does, but not tonight. Tonight Edward just rolled his eyes as he balanced more of his weight onto his cane. The one good thing about the horrible news he had found out today was that it had completely distracted him from the agonizing pain in his leg though he highly doubted that would continue. "The real riddle here is why do you think I care?" he answered back to the chubby man.
Oswald paused for a moment then a creepy grin that probably explained the reason why you would never want to see a bird smile, appeared on the man's face. "Why Edward? You're the Riddler. Secret identities shouldn't be too difficult for your talent. I was merely hoping you could help me catch that sniveling bitch," the words came out darker before he continued, "Of course, there would be payment."
Oh Oswald, you know how to work me so well. Compliments and money. It would have worked if not for today. "No," he stated then turned back around.
"WHAT?" Oswald kawed, throwing his arms in the air. "Edward, how many deals have I given you? I let you into my restaurant. You can't reject me!" the angry statements continued but Edward only walked towards the door, "You're working with her, aren't you? You are! You been seduced by some random girl in leather. Edward get back here!"
At this point, people from the other tables had been silent by the noise, but they didn't dare look. If Oswald caught you staring at him he would kill you out back. "I'm on a flight tomorrow. I don't have the time. I would apologize, but I feel you're rudeness makes up for my rejection," he said loud enough for Oswald to hear so he wouldn't have to stop and turn. He pushed opened the door that led to the alleyway.
His hand had tightened around his cane in anger as he walked to his green car. He knew Oswald would hold a grudge against him for not helping him, but he couldn't bring himself to care. Why did Oswald believe he had the right to boss him around? He was the Riddler. The Riddler who was already dealing with a far more important riddle. As the thought popped into his head the anger was replaced with his previous sadness. He had hoped the alcohol would numb this current feeling, but his mind kept swarming around it. He…he..
Wait, why isn't Allen opening the door for him?
His eyebrow rose as he studied his car from a distance. The big man should be getting out by now and opening his door. He frowned. He did quite hate being involved in people's plans without being forewarned. Allen was probably not in the position to move.
He inwardly rolled his eyes. Could anything make this day worst? he mulled over the thought as he walked over to his car, his cane scratching against the pavement. He opened up the door to his quite expensive car and took a seat causally, not even needing to glance into the back seat.
"Selina dear, aren't we a little old to be sneaking around in the back of cars?" he asked placing his cane near the center capartment. His eyes glancing at the drivers seat to see Allen tied up with a black cord and a pissed off look on his face.
"No hello? I thought you would be pleased to see me," he heard a seductive drawl coming close to his ear. He was not surprised when the claws barely touched his neck.
All rogues were predictable. Selina was no different even with her close ties to the Batman. "He has extra security on the roof, I'm assuming," Edward noted, not particularly liking her plan. He didn't want to help Oswald, nor Selina, and he especially didn't want to be the toy they were pulling over. Catwoman robberies of the Penguin's supplies were her business not his. Why was she foolishly getting him involved? He was almost tempted to pull out his pistol and play a cold war game himself. Respect. Did anyone respect him? His eyebrow scrunched together in annoyance. It was one of the many things bothering him lately. Every time his name was mentioned around the rogues, it was with little concern. He was the Riddler, and these other fools were just pawns.
"You know I could easily pluck off a few of Ozzy's lose feathers without lifting a finger. Have you ever considered I missed you?" she lied as her nails went deeper into his throat.
Edward wasn't worried that she would kill him. Selina rarely ever killed. The only time that had occurred was with Black Mask, and personally no one was complaining. No, Selina threatened because she liked to trap a mouse in a corner and watch them squirm, but unlike most cats, she let them go. "I would appreciate if you didn't get blood on my suit. Armani is expensive," he said as he reached into his pocket for a lollipop.
He heard Selina chuckle then losen her claws. "Seriously Eddie, what's up?" she said her claws finally leaving his neck all together, "You always give me sass when I surprise you, but you seem…a bit off."
That was an understatement. "It's none of your concern. I gather you want me to drive you home. Allen can't accomplish that when you have him tied up," he waved a gloved hand at his henchman to show her just in case she was too mentally handicap to understand his words.
He couldn't see, but Selina was frowning. She then pulled back her whip in a swift motion probably causing Allen quite a bit of pain. Edward saw it in his face. Allen grumbled some nonsense about women then started the car. In a matter of seconds, they were out of the alleyway and onto the street.
It was silent in the car as the Riddler undid the wrapper on his lollipop with a permanent frown on his face and the Catwoman analyzed the situation suspiciously. Silent Riddler was an odd sight indeed. Edward and her had their ups and downs, but over the years she considered him a friend. A friend you would never want your back to, but a friend nonetheless. She would never forget the incident in Rome and for that she would never trust him, but he was a friend. She could admit that she wasn't as smart as him, but it didn't take a genius to know that he was upset. "No questions, no sexual innuendos of my outfit, no gloating, no long speech about something completely pointless until you give me what I want anyways. What happened?" she asked from the back with only a bare amount of interest. She didn't particularly care (okay a small part of her cared), but she was curious. Edward not being…well Edward was an odd sight.
His eyes glued to his hands and the lollipop. It was taking him forever to unwrap because his mind was somewhere else. When Selina once again tried to invade his business, he frowned. "Curiosity killed the cat. I would think by now you know that lesson," he stated coldly.
"Who says I'm curious," she said in a low voice as she leaned in closer to his seat so her breath would land on his ear, "I'm merely concerned."
"The last time I saw you, you were letting me take a fall for your robbery. I highly doubt you are concern," he snapped, turning to face her.
Her claw traveled under his chin in seductive manner and as always with Catwoman, he found himself looking into her face. Her goggles were above her head revealing her beautiful eyes to him. She was quite beautiful, but Edward preferred art over a woman who would push him into on coming traffic if it benefited her. Her large lips opened as she spoke, "Batman wouldn't have been there if you wouldn't have left your silly riddle. I didn't want to get in the middle of your two's game, that's how nice I am."
He scoffed, pulling his chin out her hold to stare out the front window. He wasn't really mad at her for that incident. He had gotten away after all. He was just…angry and upset at everything.
Selina found herself slightly annoyed. Normally, it was Edward's perverted and degrading remarks that would scratch at her skin, but for some reason she found herself missing them. The curiosity was killing her. "Is it a woman, Eddie? Did they not fall for your boyish charms?" she found herself smiling and almost laughing at the idea of Edward picking up a woman. Even though from her understanding, Edward actually managed to go on quite a few dates even with his criminal record.
"Answer: No and mind your own business," he said with an annoyed tone. He glanced at the road signs. "Stop the car. I'm sure she can find her way home from here," he said in a grumble.
"I do enjoy the midnight stroll, but I think you're avoiding the question," she said as the car stopped.
"Riddle me this dear," he said as he turned back to glare at her, "What happens to a cat who always lands on her feet?"
She fought the urge to roll her eyes. "I don't know, what?" she asked halfheartedly as she grabbed the duffle bag full of jewelry from Oswald whores.
"She lands on something painful," he stated with a twisted smirk that could only mean something disturbing, but Selina noticed the pain in his eyes as he said it. There was something going on.
She sighed then gave him a serious look. "Edward, I am your friend," she said then opened the door and disappeared into the night.
Edward looked at the now closed car door before turning back to the front. Friend? He had no friends. They all betrayed eventually. The smartest route to take was the one by yourself, and he was smart.
But a small part of him buried deep inside really wanted a friend. To cope with the horrible feeling, the horrible thoughts, and the small fear that he might not be able solve this riddle, he pouted. He pouted like a two-year-old boy who didn't get the candy in the grocery store.
Then he popped his lollipop into his mouth.