Title: Unexpected
Author: Twilight Walters
Rating: K
Keywords: Mulder/Scully Romance
Spoilers: Existence
Disclaimer: The characters in this story are the property of Chris Carter and Fox. No copyright infringement intended.
Feedback: Always wanted, it's like chocolate to me but without the calories.
Summary: A little hospital fic about learning to cope with the unexpected.
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Unexpected
By Twilight Walters
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I can't believe it... I'm all alone, again.
My eyes tear as I breathe in an earth shattering sob, the antiseptic scent assaulting my sinuses and reminding me of my predicament, not that I really need any reminding.
The four walls that surround me are so cold and impersonal, yet familiar... too familiar. How many times have I sat in hospital rooms such as this? Awaiting news of Mulder's fate or of my own? Too many times is the simple answer. Never again we had sworn... yet I find myself sitting in this room with its sterile white walls like so many times before.
I'm shivering. I'm so cold but I no longer know if the cold is outside or within. I wrap the blanket tighter around my legs as I sit in the armchair surveying my surroundings. My hands are shaking intermittently.
Shock they tell me... I'm suffering from the shock induced by the last twenty four hours. My body is grieving for my loss the only way it knows how.
I look down to the slight swell of my belly, my hand absently caressing the new shape. I'm all alone.
The tears run silently down my cheeks as I ponder the situation. We had planned every detail. We had been planning for months. Every possible scenario was taken into account, nothing should have gone wrong. But things hadn't gone to plan.
It had happened so quickly. He was gone... and I'm alone.
I hear the door creak but I don't stir from my ravine... they keep checking on me you see... but I don't want to make idle chit chat.
"Hey..." His voice is music to my ears.
"Mulder..." I exhale a breath I didn't realize I was holding as his handsome face comes into view.
"Are you up for a couple of visitors?" Mulder asks as he walks in with William.
"Mommy." Our four year old screams as he runs around the hospital bed and climbs into my lap before I even have a proper chance to take in his appearance.
"Be careful there champ, mommy's been through a lot in the past twenty four hours." Mulder chastises our son lightly.
William looks up at me with his big hazel eyes and I smile back at him reassuringly before giving him a gentle hug. He still has his baby scent, but I think maybe he always will to me.
William looks at me quizzically as he tilts his head to the side. "You look funny."
A smile spreads over my face as Mulder clamps his hand over William's mouth. "Beautiful." He corrects. "You look beautiful." He repeats as he leans over our son to place a gentle kiss on my lips. "How are you feeling?"
"I..." The door creaks again and captures my attention as a young nurse wheels in a small plastic cot.
"I have a little visitor for you." She declares as she wheels the cot around to our sides.
"Thank you." I smile as she silently takes her leave. I look to Mulder and William, they are caught in rapture by the small baby laying in the crib sleeping peacefully. More silent tears slide down my face as Mulder smiles proudly.
His eyes catch mine and his brow crinkles as he leans forward and wipes a few tears from my cheek. "Hormones." I answer his unasked question.
Mulder loops his arm around William to rest it on my waist, a waist that is now drastically reduced.
"Can we wake him?" William asks breaking our silence.
"No Will, babies need their sleep." I answer softly. William sighs in exasperation. I know how much he has been looking forward to meeting his baby brother.
"He's all wrinkly." William mutters screwing up his nose before asking innocently. "Does he do anything?"
"You bet he does." Mulder replies ruffling William's hair. "He eats and he sleeps and he poops."
William chuckles sweetly as he looks up at me. "Daddy said poops."
I smile at the innocent picture my family creates before I see the baby's lip quiver and prepare myself for an enormous wail. Our new son doesn't disappoint my expectations and I can't help but smile as I see William's eyes go wide at the noise.
Mulder lifts our son from the crib and prepares to pass him to me for a feed, it is a technique we mastered when William was a baby, but to our surprise the baby quiets as soon as he is surrounded by his fathers large comforting hands.
I see Mulder freeze at this unexpected reaction wrestling with the idea of laying the baby back down, passing him to me or keeping him in his own embrace. He looks to me asking his question without uttering a word and we both instinctively know what we must do.
I position William more securely on my lap and loop my arms around him positioning his arms so we will both be cradling the baby. Mulder leans down placing our newborn in our firstborn's and my arms.
"You have to support his head, like this and hold him gently, not too tight." Mulder mutters.
"He's so small." William exclaims in awe as his little brother lets out a yawn.
"He is." Mulder murmurs kneeling in front of us and positioning his little finger in the baby's small fist. "You used to be this small you know."
"Me? No way."
I smile as I watch this little scene unfold. Mulder is a wonderful father and I know we are truly blessed to have him.
"So Will, what do you think of your new little brother?" Mulder asks.
I know that secretly he is determined to see Will be as much of a part of the baby's life as we are. I know that when Samantha was born he felt pushed away and replaced, we had several discussions about his concerns for our first born when I fell pregnant for the second time.
"He's okay I guess." William replies hesitantly still in awe over our new little bundle of joy.
"You know, you've got a lot of responsibility now." Mulder tells William. "You're a big brother. You have to be there to take care of your little brother... to love him, unconditionally."
I cringed slightly. William is only four, that's a lot to take on board and I'm not even sure he knows what unconditionally means but he seems to understand the gist of things.
"What if I'm not a good big brother?" Will asks in a way that fills my heart with joy, we created this little man.
"You will be." Mulder and I reply in unison. William looks round to me then back to his daddy.
"How'd you know?"
"Because your mommy and I will always be here to help you be the best big brother you can be. If you ever need any help you just come see me or mommy. Is that okay?"
William looks back down to his baby brother and gasps gaining both mine and Mulder's attention. "He has our eyes." He states matter-of-factly to Mulder.
I look to my baby's barely open eyes and am shocked to see hazel looking back at me, well, not looking exactly, it's far to early for his eyes to focus but they are hazel. Good Lord, I now have three sets of those piercing eyes to contend with.
Mulder looks up at me just as surprised. "I thought all baby's eyes were blue?"
"They normally are. I guess he wanted to stand out from the crowd." I smile.
"With us as parents that shouldn't be a problem." I feel the tears leaking from my eyes once more, I will be happy to get some control over my emotions again. "How are you feeling?"
"I'm fine." I reply automatically and cringe, I had been getting so much better at avoiding that reply. "I'm okay really, I'm happy and healthy... we all are."
"But?" He knows me too well.
"I guess I just wasn't ready... I thought I had him for a couple more weeks but then he was premature... and the delivery was only three hours. That's practically unheard of. I wasn't expecting to be alone again so soon."
"You'll never be alone." Mulder assures me.
"I know... it's just different now. I miss having him inside me."
"You know, we could rectify that." I'm not quite sure where he's going with this. "I've always wanted a large family."
I'm shocked. He can't be serious but something tells me he is.
"What do you say Will? Would you like another brother or sister?"
"What?" Will looks up confused, obviously he had been too absorbed in his little brother to be listening to our conversation but then he surprises me. "But I only just got this one."
I giggle lightly at my son's logical down to earth thinking.
"You are too much like your mother." Mulder declares as he playfully taps William on the nose. "I am going to have to turn this one early." Mulder adds looking down at our new baby boy as he strokes his finger over his cheek.
"I think this one is already a little too much like you." Mulder looks at me quizzically. "He's impatient."
Mulder smiles broadly as a light tap sounds from the doorway.
"I'm sorry Mrs. Mulder but visiting hours are nearly over." A slightly rounded middle age nurse announces from the doorway.
"Oh, can't we have a little longer." Mulder pleads. "We'll be quiet as mice, I promise." The nurse seemed to waver.
"Please?" Mulder and William begged in unison.
"Oh Lord!" The nurse exclaims as she looks into their hazel depths before turning to me. "However do you say no to them?"
"I don't." I reply smiling.
"I'll close the door so you won't disturb the other patients." She smiles as she turns to leave.
Mulder and William exchanged a victory grin as I thank the nurse.
"I have a question." William declares.
"What's that champ?" Mulder asks.
"How did the baby get out of mommy's tummy?"
"Yes, Mulder, how?" I teased seeing the deer caught in headlights look cross his face as I try to suppress a giggle. "Come on Mulder... You better get used to that question if you want a big family."
Mulder's handsome smile spreads over his face as he realizes that once again I have answered his question without really uttering the words.
It still surprises me sometimes, this unspoken connection we share but then, I've learnt over time to expect the unexpected.
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Authors notes...
So did I have you fooled at the beginning?
It has been so long since I started anything new and this is a complete break from my normal writing. Did it work? I would really appreciate your feedback so let me know what you think.
Big thank you goes out to Enpauriel for the Beta, dunno what I'd do without ya.
Naked Mulder thoughts projected to all those who review... unless you are underage in which case they will be censored ;)
Thanks for reading, hope you enjoyed.