I don't own Ashes To Ashes. I worship it.

This is a Chris/Shaz Songfic. It's quite sad. It's set quite a while after Ashes, Alex is home, Chris is dead and they have a daughter. Not sure if the song works. Please R&R and tell me what you think.

My first lesson losing a love was you
Learning to live with your memory was lesson number two
And I can't lie, baby
I still cry sometimes

Shaz sat quietly, a photo album open at her feet. She flicked through the pages, looking at the photos of her, Chris and their beautiful baby daughter, Alex. Tears that she barely noticed slid down her cheeks and onto the pages. She smiled as she came to the one of the two of them at a club in '81. She looked at the eyeliner which she remembered skilfully applying just hours before that photo was taken.

But I've come a long way
Towards gettin' you out of my mind
I'm still under the weather
But I'm over the storm

She turned the page. There was a picture taken in Luigi's. She cast her mind back to when the photo had been taken. Who was in it? She was snuggled up to Chris. Her old DI, Alex Drake was there, as was Gene Hunt, her DCI. It must have been ray who took the picture. What was she wearing? A pink jumper and a white belt. It must have been the day she got out of hospital after being stabbed. The day she'd been carried in there in the arms of Ray and Chris. '81 and '82 had been probably the best years of her life.


I still miss the shelter
Of your loving arms
But what I thought would kill me
Has just made me strong
I'm still under the weather
But I'm over the storm

She looked at the photo underneath it. She was in uniform in between Chris and DI Drake. She didn't think it had been anything special, possibly the report from the station inspection that had had the Guv in a panic. Not that she'd been there for it. She'd been told what had happened by the whole team. The Guv had had Chris arrested for something he hadn't done, the gay parade had turned into a riot, leaving Chris in a cell overnight with a load of singing puffs. Then she'd found out what had caused the riot, Alex driving over a blue Ford Escort in a pink tank. Brilliant.

Sometimes your memory still gets the best of me
But that lonely ache in my heart
Ain't as bad as it used to be
And sometimes the way that I'm feelin'
Inside doesn't show
But I know
I'll get over you, I've just got a long way to go

The next was her, unconscious, with Chris sitting on the end of her hospital bed. That would have been before he'd been arrested. There were a couple of bunches of flowers, one from DI Drake, but she couldn't remember who the rest were from. There was a battered get well soon card. That had been from everyone at the station, delivered by DCI Hunt himself. She smiled at that. He was a brilliant team leader, couldn't stand watching his team get hurt. He was only in London because he'd transferred with Ray and Chris after the death of DI Sam Tyler.

I'm still under the weather
But I'm over the storm
I still miss the shelter
Of your loving arms
But what I thought would kill me
Has just made me strong
I'm still under the weather
But I'm over the storm

I'm still under the weather
But I'm over the storm

The penultimate photo was the last one of Chris before he had died. He had his daughter in his arms, smiling at the camera. She smiled. He had been a great dad. Always willing to help, always offering to get up when she cried in the night. Now that had been cruelly taken away but one bullet. One stupid, stupid bullet.

The last photo showed her, their daughter, Ray and Gene at Chris's funeral. She would never forget that photo being taken. Under the weather but over the storm.