The problem with being secretly bisexual and being in a secret relationship with an ex-death eater was that everything had to be very secret. The problem with being Harry Potter was that living a secret life was not a privilege that he was afforded, especially after the war. Suddenly, everyone was looking to him to be a symbol of hope in this new world that they had been shoved into after the war. His therapist had also told him that the best thing for him to do was to be as open and honest with everyone around him.
Of course, Ron and Hermione were more than aware of the fact that he and Draco were together. Ron was more than aware after opening the wrong door at the wrong time over Christmas. And there were a fair few Slytherins who had worked out what was happening between Harry and Draco before even they had. And yet, Harry still needed to tell someone something.
"I need to tell someone something," Harry said suddenly, turning to Draco. They were sat beneath the shade of a large tree in the grounds. Though there wasn't a lot of sun to seek shade from on a bleak February day.
"Like what your favourite colour is?" Draco asked, looking at him over the top of his book.
"No!" Harry said, "I mean like...I mean like us,"
"Is this your way of telling me you're pregnant?"
"Draco."
"Sorry. You were saying?"
"I want to tell Hagrid,"
Draco raised his eyebrows at him, "Do we know how Hagrid feels about a gay ex-death eater being in a secret relationship with you?"
Harry paused for a moment, realising that he had no idea how Hagrid felt about that sort of thing. He knew that Hagrid was pretty liberal when it came to muggle borns, but as far as Harry was aware, that was the extent of his politics. They had never actualy had a conversation about Harry's sexuality. Harry didn't even know how he would bring that sort of thing up to him.
"Well, people are going to have to know eventually," Harry said, feigning calmness, "I'll ask Hermione. She'll know what to do,"
"She usually does,"
"Mione, cast Muffliato, " Harry whispered hours later when he was sat with Ron and Hermione in the new eighth year common room that he had still not fully warmed to.
"Christ, Harry, are we back in sixth year or something?" Hermione hissed back, glancing around the eighth year common room as though someone untoward was lurking there.
"Just cast it, Hermione," Ron yawned, "but I'm not doing something stupid, Harry. Too tired,"
Harry rolled his eyes, "That is not what I'm here for. But it is serious," he added.
Hermione muttered the spell under her breath and dropped her book to the floor, turning to face Harry. Ron sighed and slid off his seat to sit on the floor next to Harry.
"I think - it might be stupid, but I think I want to tell Hagrid about me and Draco,"
His words were met with silence, which could not have meant anything good. Perhaps it was a bad idea.
"Stupid idea?" Harry asked heavily.
"No," Hermione said, "of course not,"
"It might be a bit risky, though," Ron said, "I mean...how traditional is Hagrid?"
"Please, Ronald, he lives in a hut and is the child of a human and a giant," Hermione scoffed, "I highly doubt that gay relationships would be a shock to him!"
"Well, when you put it like that..." Harry muttered.
"Plus, he thinks that Harry walks on glass," Ron said.
"He thinks that I walk on what ?" Harry asked.
"Walks on glass," Ron repeated.
"I have no idea what that means," Harry said, "Hermione, what does he mean?"
Hermione frowned at Ron for a minute and the burst into a fit of giggles, "he means walks on water! He's getting muggle sayings mixed up!"
Harry snorted and then burst into laughter. Ron went bright red and muttered something about trying to be more like a muggle before he and Hermione went to track down her parents in Australia once school was over. If it weren't for the fact that his slip up was so amusing, it would be quite a touching sentiment.
As with most important tasks, Harry put off talking to Hagrid as much as he could. Whenever Draco, Ron or Hermione brought it off, he just shrugged it off and said that he would get around to it, but he was really busy with his homework. No one seemed to believe this, but they also weren't pushing him to tell Hagrid anything which was something that he was more than thankful for.
Deep down, Harry knew that really, there was very little chance that Hagrid would turn his back on him because of this. Hagrid had been on his side since the day he joined the Wizarding World at the age of eleven and had done nothing but support him through every single stupid thing he had ever done. But that was what made it even harder; Harry could not bear to lose Hagrid after everyone he had already lost. Hagrid had been the first person to be nice to Harry after ten years of living with the Dursleys, and he knew that he would not be able to deal with Hagrid looking at him with same amount of disgust that Uncle Vernon used to.
When Ron told Harry about the birthday party he was planning, however, Harry knew that there was no way around it.
"George said he'd rent out that room upstairs in the Three Broomstick for me," he said.
"I thought you weren't having a birthday party this year?" Harry said, "because of - you know -"
"Fred?" Ron said heavily.
Harry nodded.
"I wasn't going to," he admitted, "but then George wrote me a letter the other day and pointed out that Fred wouldn't have wanted me to ignore my birthday,"
Harry grinned, "I'm looking forward to it,"
"You're going to have to tell Hagrid, though,"
"About your birthday party?"
Ron rolled his eyes, "No. About you and you-know-who. Do you really want to spend the entire time hiding?"
"Obviously not," Harry said, "it's just hard! It's easy for you and Hermione! Everyone's been dying for you to get together for ages! No one wants me and you-know-who together!"
"I know," Ron said softly, "and I don't think it's going to be easy and I think that there's going to be people who are dicks about it but, for fucks sake, Harry, you, of all people, deserve to be happy! After everything that you've done!"
"Everything that we've done," Harry corrected him.
Ron shook his head, "We didn't walk into that forest, Harry. That was you,"
"Yeah," Harry said quietly, "yeah. I know. I'll tell him. People are going to have to know eventually, anyway,"
The next few weeks passed quicker than Harry wanted and before he knew it, it was the day before Ron's nineteenth birthday. And without really realising it, Harry found himself walking to Hagrid's Hut, his heart pounding heavily in his chest. But he had to do it. He was fed up of constantly having to hide the fact that he was in a relationship. He was fed up of feeling that pinch of jealousy whenever he saw Ron and Hermione openly holding hands instead of having to hide their hand holding under the table like he and Draco did. He was fed up of walking past Madam Puddifoot's and seeing couples being so open about who they loved instead of having to sit in the very back room of the Hogs Head and still being too scared to hold hands just in case the wrong person walked in at the wrong moment. And telling Hagrid was another step closer to no longer having to do that.
Hagrid was stood outside his hut when Harry got there, tending to his cabbages. The magnitude of what he was about to do suddenly him and he would have ran back up to the castle had it not been for the fact that Hagrid had turned around and spotted him, his face splitting into a wide grin.
"Harry!" he exclaimed happy, "I was jus' thinkin' about writin' teh yer teh come for a spot o' tea! Come in, come in!"
"Yeah, I've been meaning to come around Hagrid, but I've been busy," Harry lied, following him into the hut, "NEWTs are no joke..."
"Yeah," Hagrid said, nodding solemnly as he set about making a pot of tea, "'course, I don' even have me OWLs but I know how stressed you lot get about yer exams. Suppose it's nice that fer once you 'aven't got anything bigger to worry about, eh?"
Harry tried to force a laugh but Hagrid immediately saw through it. He placed a large cup of tea down in front of Harry with his eyebrows raised, and Harry relaised that there was really no way that he would ever get out of having what he could only imagine to be a painfully awkward subject.
"There isn' anythin' bigger fer yeh to be worryin' about, is there?" Hagrid asked anxiously.
Harry took a deep breath and felt tears spring to his eyes. The last thing that he had wanted to do was cry throughout this conversation, but he could not help but dread the thought that Hagrid might hate him after this.
"Hagrid, I need to tell you something," Harry said, not looking up from his tea, "and I'm really worried that you're going to hate me after this,"
"What is it?" Hagrid asked, a note of panic in his voice.
"I'm bisexual," Harry said, his voice barely above a whisper, "and in a relationship with Draco Malfoy,"
Hagrid did not say anything, and Harry felt his heart sank.
"And if you don't like it, then I'm really sorry but I'm happy and it's who I am and I can't change it and-"
"D'yeh really think that there's anythin' that yeh could say ter me that would make me hate you?" Hagrid asked.
Harry looked up at Hagrid and wiped his eyes, "You don't - you don't hate me?"
"When I carried yeh outta that forest, all I wanted was fer yeh ter come back teh life," Hagrid said, "and then yeh came back, and it's all I wanted. Yeh think that after all that I'm goin' to turn me back on yeh? Eh? I'm happy when yeh're happy, Harry,"
"I am happy," Harry said, smiling, "I am,"
"There's bigger problems in the world than blokes who like blokes," Hagrid said wisely.
"Do you care that it's Draco, though?" Harry asked hesitantly, "after...after everything?"
"Nah," Hagrid said, shaking his head, "he was always a pain before the war but he was jus' a kid, jus' like you, Ron and Hermione were kids... are kids,"
"What about everything he did in the war?"
"I don' believe anythin' that's written in the Daily Prophet about the bloomin' Malfoys, Harry. His father? Yeah, there might be some truth to it, but him? Nah. He's not a bad kid, an' he's turned his life round since comin' back to school," Hagrid said, "he didn' have a choice abou' anything in the war in the same way that yeh didn' have a choice abou' whether or not yeh were gonna fight in it or not,"
"Thanks for understanding, Hagrid,"
"Shouldn' be thankin' me," Hagrid said gruffly, "the las' thing we need is more hate in the world and I'm not gonna contribute to that. Yeh like a son to me, Harry, and no parent should leave their kid,"
"We both know that," Harry sighed.
"That we do, Harry, that we do..."
The next day, and running on very little sleep after tossing and turning all night, thinking about how he should have as much right as Hermione to hold his boyfriends hand, he walked next to Ron and Hermione up to Hogsmeade.
"Malfoy!" Harry yelled, spotting him walking ahead of him, Ron and Hermione.
"What do you want, Har - Potter?" Draco called back.
"Can I talk to you for a minute?" Harry asked, catching up to him.
He raised his eyebrows at him, "In, um, public ?"
"Yeah," Harry said. He turned to Ron and Hermione, "I'll meet you there,"
"Okay," Hermione said, frowning at them but running to catch up with Blaise and Pansy, "See you in a bit,"
Harry turned back to Draco who was staring at him as though he had lost his mind.
"People are going to start talking if-"
"Good," Harry said confidently and grabbing Draco's hand, "I want them to talk,"
"Who are you and what have you done with my boyfriend?" Draco asked, glancing around, "if people see us holding hands then they're going to think we're together!"
"Which we are," Harry said, walking up the lane and pulling Draco with him, "and so what? I'm sick of hiding, Draco. I'm sick of having to pretend that I don't love you,"
"Me too,"
"So let's stop hiding!" Harry said loudly.
"Okay," Draco said, nodding his head and grinning, "Okay. Let's stop hiding,"
The problem with being secretly bisexual and being in a secret relationship with an ex-death eater was that society had convinced them that they had to keep everything secret. They were just teenagers in love and there was nothing wrong with that.