i've been seeing a lot of hate toward ace headcanons and it made me want to write fics out of spite. so here's a series, centred around ace headcanons, that you can wrench from my cold dead hands. plus, it's high time for some rep and I am here to bring it.

He didn't mind the sex. He quite enjoyed the intimacy, and Lovino was just very good at it. He just didn't need it, not really. Maybe he just went along for the ride for Lovino's needs, and he worried that should he bring it up, their otherwise great relationship might crumble under the realization that Gilbert just wasn't into it that much.

Lovino rolled over and curled against Gilbert's back, mumbling incoherently. It was warm, perhaps a little too warm, but Gilbert was long since used to Lovino's ability to become a magnet to human skin.

He fumbled to find a hand and curled it over his side, wanting to hold onto Lovino as he thought through a conversation he really should be having soon.

There was no easy way through it, that Gilbert knew. They had been dating for well over a year and he knew that Lovino was beginning to notice the weight of a secret. He was sharp, but didn't often pry, mainly because Gilbert generally told him everything with time.

But this was different. Telling someone you weren't into sex, not the way they were into it, was never a fun conversation to have. It was one Gilbert tended to duck out of in any of his shorter relationships. But Lovino had been the longest yet, and he had the temper of a firecracker.

The sun was beginning to peek through the curtains, and Gilbert gripped Lovino's fingers a little tighter.

Lovino pressed his face against Gilbert's shoulder, and when he mumbled, his lips brushed his skin.

He didn't want to lose Lovino. That was Gilbert's biggest fear. He was in love and, for perhaps the first time in his life, happy to be in a relationship. He liked Lovino's cooking, his taste in novels, his dry humour. He liked his personality, his voice, his body. He liked everything about him, and he was terrified of ruining it.

"You're going to squeeze my fingers off," Lovino mumbled against his neck, having shifted a little so he could breathe.

Gilbert also realized his hands were stupidly clammy, so he released Lovino and curled his fists into the sheets. Lovino's hand drifted to his side, rubbing the bare skin soothingly. Gilbert could feel him push himself up against the mattress to peer over his back at his face. His hand drifted to his biceps.

"What's wrong?" Lovino asked, squeezing gently.

Gilbert didn't really think having this conversation in bed, after they had had sex the previous night, was a good idea. So, he mumbled, "Nothing," and hoped Lovino caught the hint.

Lovino caught a hint and decided to ignore it. "Gilbert, it's six in the morning. You're tenser than a wooden plank and not in the sexy way. What's wrong?"

Scowling at his bedside lamp, Gilbert pushed Lovino's arm away. "I don't want to talk about it."

Lovino was quiet, lying back down. Then, he asked, "Does this have to do with last night?"

Gilbert clenched the sheets so tightly his knuckles hurt. Lovino was too sharp for his own good and Gilbert didn't know what to do.

"Gilbert," Lovino began imploringly. "I don't know what it is, but we should be able to talk about this. Did I do something you didn't like?"

"Not specifically." That was more or less true. Lovino was loving and careful, Gilbert just… didn't care.

"Gilbert, please."

Sighing, Gilbert rolled over and beckoned for Lovino. Lovino carefully settled in his arms, partially lying on top of Gilbert, watching him with a cat-like vigilance.

Gilbert distracted himself a little by petting Lovino's unruly hair. He didn't even know how to start this, how to break Lovino into this.

"Please don't take this the wrong way," Gilbert said softly. "I love you and I don't want to ruin this because… because of me."

Lovino frowned, shifting a little. "Did you murder someone?"

"No." Gilbert couldn't quite stop himself from the sharp tone, and Lovino silently leaned on his chest, expression morphing into worry.

Gilbert pressed a hand against his eyes. "Lovino, I… This is going to be a disaster, but okay." He took a deep breath. "So, we had sex last night."

"Yes," Lovino said slowly.

"And it was good, I guess."

"You guess?"

"I guess," Gilbert affirmed. "I… I don't care much for sex." He paused, replayed the words and decided that that wasn't a great way to break this at all. Lovino was quiet, so Gilbert quickly added, "It's not you. You—for as far as I know anyway and I frankly don't—are good at it. I just… I don't want… I don't need sex. I don't hate it, but I also don't think it's the greatest thing in the world."

Lovino's fingers were tapping against his chest. Gilbert didn't dare to look at him, but the fact he was still even lying there was much more promising than previously thought.

Then Lovino did move, and Gilbert's breath hitched because this was the fucking worst and he should've just shut his mouth and learnt to live with it—but Lovino's fingers curled around his hand, gently prying it away. He smiled, tugged at Gilbert's shoulder until he caught the hint and rolled into his side, facing Lovino.

Lovino pressed a kiss against the fist he still held in his hand. "You're asexual?"

Gilbert nodded, lowering his eyes, only for Lovino to press their legs together while kissing Gilbert's hand some more. It surprised him a little Lovino was aware of the term, mainly because when they had first gotten to know each other, Lovino had self-identified with a shrug.

"It's okay," Lovino said. "That's first and foremost. I love you, and you're going to have to tell me how to move forward from here, but I'm not going to dump you over something like this."

Gilbert glanced up to those golden eyes, breathing out shakily, full of relief. He shifted a little closer, and quickly kissed Lovino, smiling as his boyfriend (still!) squeezed his hand.

Then Lovino frowned. "Why didn't you say anything earlier?"

"Mm, scared," Gilbert admitted. "People don't believe me when I tell them because I don't mind having sex. It's fun sometimes. I really love being in a relationship with you, so I didn't want to ruin it by something that's… well, it's a little trivial because I'm not wholly—"

"Gilbert," Lovino said sternly. "If you identify as ace then you are. Okay? I didn't go to my brother's LGBTA club meetings to not hear everything about everything ever." He paused. "I'm sorry if I apparently didn't make you feel comfortable enough to tell me."

"No, that's not on you. I'm just paranoid. Bad experiences are the worst."

Lovino reached up to pet his hair and kissed his forehead. "Well, let's make this a good experience then." He rolled into his back and stretched with a groan. "First, breakfast. Eggs and bacon?"

"Absolutely."

Lovino grinned, kissed him once more and rolled out of bed, finding his underwear somewhere on the ground.

Gilbert just took a moment to lie back and breathe. It was fine. They were fine. They were going to have one hell of an awkward conversation over breakfast over what exactly Gilbert did and didn't want, but Lovino wasn't breaking up with him.

They were fine, so Gilbert settled for a quiet whoop in victory as he picked up his underwear.

happy birthday to me. my present to me is ace representation because i need that in my life rn. so thank you me. what a wonderful gift!

also if anyone says that because gilbert does have sex with lovino, he isn't asexual, i will come into your house and stab you like ceasar got stabbed 2063 years ago today. i aint having none of that shit. All asexuals are Valid and welcome in my house

feel free to request/send me ace headcanons you'd like to see because i will make time to write for this. My vengeance is vengeful /shakes fist at the sky